Far Cry: Sanctify
by JLMwrites
Summary: A retelling that includes a second lamb waiting in amongst the cult itself. Rife with sins of her own, Laurie should have found herself amongst the wolves in the mountain. Joseph just never considered that she'd be better use to John. Will Joseph's second lamb be able to sanctify the sins of those destined to die? Or will they aid the deputy in the worlds destruction?
1. Family

Act I

Chapter One - Family

"Those who open their eyes will see, those who listen will hear, those whose hearts are pure will join us."

The grey tent had the drips and drabs of humanity scattered within it. A drunk farmer who'd just lost his wife to cancer; a young woman who'd had her last hit of crack a couple hours before - to calm her nerves; a man who'd just stole - what he said - would be his last car, a man who's childhood had lead him through a walk of life that only ever could have led him here, an old woman, who only came to see what all the fuss was about, and lastly, amongst more rejects and failures, a British ER Doctor who had moved half way across the world to find the salvation a patient had told him about.

Doctor Frank Willis had never been a man to walk blindly in to something, but that day, when he walked through the flaps of a tent in the middle of a field, he had no idea what he was doing. All the research, all the study, it dawned on him that it didn't matter anymore. He'd had hope when he'd come to Hope county, and still, he had hope then, as he watched a man he didn't know, introduce the congregation to the man he'd came here to see.

The Father.

But doubt, even after the inspirational sermon, one that assured the Doctor even more that he was making the right decision, lingered in the back of his mind.

Frank Willis honestly thought himself a good man who, had done debatable, but the necessary thing. He was the one who had to keep his family on the straight and narrow. He worked every hour he could to support them, and in return, all he had got was a wife that lusted over other men, a son whose greed had almost killed him, and a daughter... Well, his daughter was so full of hatred, and anger, he worried that nothing would ever quell the beast inside of her.

He'd sacrificed a lot to come here, to help his family, to save them, and, in return, he expected them to help themselves, to not bring more shame on him or his name. This place would wash away all of their sins and, all the sins he'd had to indulge in to control theirs…

He'd had to... There'd been no other way.

Back at the small house that the Doctor had purchased for a pittance just weeks before, his family were moving their meagre lot of possessions in.

His wife, Jackie, was stood in the small kitchen, glaring at the awful décor between the units and the cupboards, hoping they could find some sort of DIY store near to the nowhere they now lived. She'd never lived small, and she didn't want to, not really, but Frank had been certain of this, of this new way of life that they could have. And, who was she to say no to him. She had so much to make up for.

Perhaps here, in this little house, surrounded by people who were hoping for the same thing as her, she could. Or perhaps, Frank would realise he was in over his head and just change his mind.

Her eldest son, Tom, walked in carrying one of only three boxes from the back of their truck, he'd been muttering to himself all day.

"How the fuck is this gonna work". Tom hadn't seen his father since they'd landed; he'd gone to find the illusive leader of Eden's Gate as soon as they'd touched down on to American soil, and now, he knew why; because this shit hole of a house would need a lot of explaining. If outside hadn't been a hint at what was to come on the inside, with broken furniture strewn around the yard, soaked boxes of belongings of someone that obviously hadn't been able to leave quick enough, well, they may as well just turn around and go home now.

Inside, although, not as ravaged, there were boxes thrown about the place, a chair in the kitchen, a sofa dumped in the middle of the room, shirts still hung in the cupboards. In its entirety, the house, which was more like a bungalow with some roof space had five rooms. One of which seemed to be boarded up for reasons unknown, because you could still access it through a window outside.

The other four consisted of a small room to the back, where the door had been taken off its hinges; the next, a room that served as some sort of open plan living room and kitchen; a small bathroom, which they were relieved to find at least had hot running water, and then, a hatch in the ceiling which may or may not have led to an attic.

Jackie flipped over one of the tinned foods left on the counter; they were all in date, the people here before had left in a hurry.

Laurie, her daughter was staring up at the square hole in the ceiling,

"How are we supposed to get up there" she asked, although, she wasn't too sure she really wanted too. It looked a prime spot for squatters and the likes. Jackie sighed, hints of sarcasm in her voice as she said,

"I'm sure you'll figure it out". Laurie shook her head and sighed heavily as she looked over. The woman had been in one of those 'I'm a child, I don't care' moods all fucking day, and Laurie felt the need to slap her across the face and tell her to pull her shit together, but, that would take effort, and Laurie couldn't be bothered,

"She's right, you know" Tom said as he put the box on the floor, if his sister was good at anything, it was figuring out a way to get in to stuff - and, in her years, she'd been awfully good and not used that technique to steal him shit like he often asked her too. After a moment, Laurie turned to the sofa in the middle of the room. Tom took her lead and helped her push it over so it was sat beneath the hatch, and then, with a bit of a jump, she grabbed on to the edge and pulled herself up. "I hope you don't expect us to do that all the time" Tom said.

It wasn't as if he was missing anything though, there wasn't much to see. A couple mattresses where she was sure the squatters slept, boxes left behind by whoever used to live there before, and more broken furniture.

"It ain't half bad" Tom said from behind her, his chin resting on the floor as his body dangled from the hole. His hands holding on to the edge so he didn't fall, "How long do you think she'll last" Tom asked, his voice quiet so their mother couldn't hear,

"Week at most" Laurie shrugged a shoulder as she looked through a window,

"Might be pushing it" Tom sucked the air through his teeth and pulled himself up, scrambling his legs over before rolling over and away from the hole, "If dad has his way" Laurie turned to her brother,

"We could always go home" Laurie suggested, that had been a choice at one point,

"I don't know, you know. Don't you like the thought of something new? Something completely different?", as much as he hated the house, this whole country style living was just what he felt like he needed.

"Not when I'm teetering on the edge of thirty, no" Laurie said,

"We're twenty-seven Laurie, don't you be adding anymore years on me, right" Tom said, "We have time",

"For what? Become farm hands in the middle of nowhere",

"Hey, come on. We are leaving the sins of our past behind us" he fluttered his fingers as he walked around, imitating his fathers preachy voice,

"Some sins follow you wherever you go" Laurie said, Tom turned to her and fluttered his hands again and she snorted, looking away with a smile as she reached down to look at a magazine near one of the mattresses,

"Give it a chance" Tom said. Laurie sighed as she flicked through the pages of fishers monthly before glancing over to him. "You might even like it" Tom suggested. Despite the mess it was in, it was already starting to grow on him. It would be cramped for the time being, but he could see it ending up a nice home for them. Tom was like that, quick to judge, and then quick to reason with. As long as he wasn't high.

"I will. It's not like I have anything to go home to with you lot here now, do I",

"Could always go back to Mark" Tom suggested as he watched her sit on the edge of the hatch, about to jump back down, "He was a nice bloke", probably one of the nicer ones his sister had found amongst the sea of men,

"Yeah. But, he didn't want to come, did he" Laurie said,

"Why was that" Tom said as she disappeared down, quickly following,

"Thinks dad's crazy, probably thinks I'm crazy too" Laurie said as Tom jumped on to the sofa, both of them hearing one of the springs inside snap as he landed,

"Does sound a bit farfetched" Tom said, as did her answer. Tom proceeded to walk in to the back room, looking at the open doorframe with his head tilted, trying to figure out if what he could see sticking out the shrubbery in the garden was the back door, "Running half way across the world to join some 'doomsday' cult in order to save our souls from the 'collapse'",

"And march through the gates of a new Eden" Laurie finished for him,

"Exactly. Which is why, you and Ads. You're gonna go check out that house we saw on the way here",

"With that big-ass obnoxious YES sign outside of it" Laurie asked, wondering why something like that was so important,

"Yeah, that one" Tom said, "I wanna know what jack-ass lives there",

"Envies a sin, yah-kno", she leaned back on the wall, her head falling backward as she yawned, it was too late for shit like this.

"Can you blame me. A house like that compared to a house like this" he opened his arms and Laurie glanced up, also spotting what she was sure was the door to the back room sat in the bushes, "Besides, gotta make a good first impression on the neighbours, and, from the looks of it, some jack-ass guy who has far too much money than sense lives there",

"Why would you say that" Laurie said,

"Cause I'm a guy. If I was a guy. I'd have a house like that, and I'd have a big obnoxious sign like that just cause I could". Laurie shook her head and then looked over to the thirteen-year-old Ads as he came in, holding his rucksack in front of him and peering around the house, a 'what-the-fuck' look plastered on his face as he sighed, in the 'I-give-up-life' sort of way and trudged over to them, dragging his feet,

"Why here" he whined,

"I wish I knew" Laurie said,

"Do I get my own room at least" he pouted as he looked around, he didn't want to share with Tom. The guy smoked too much weed and he'd never liked the smell.

"We'll worry about that later. You guys are gonna go adventuring" Tom said. For just a second, Ad's face lit up at the thought, but then he composed himself. He was thirteen now, adventures were for kids; but then again, they were in a brand new place and, if Tom weren't going, he'd have to be the man and protect Laurie. "Take yo asses to that house and make sure she sweet talks who ever comes to that door and get's us in there, right kid" Tom winked at him and the boy snorted and turned around,

"He has no faith in me" Laurie held her hand up by her heart, acting hurt and Tom chuckled as he looked outside.

The back door was definitely sat in the bushes.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! This is an updated version of the first chapter (as of 2nd August 19)! Whether you write fanfiction, or your own, you need to keep going and improve every time!_


	2. Neighbours

Chapter Two - Neighbours

They were now parked at the bottom of the long drive way that had the big-ass obnoxious white letters placed in the field next to it.

"Why 'YES' for" Ads looked over at Laurie, she shrugged,

"No idea" Laurie said, "Maybe... Maybe it's the initials or... something" she had no clue, but the more she looked at it, the more she didn't want to be there. She'd had her fill of obnoxious assholes. She couldn't be dealing with anymore.

"We could scope it out first" Ads said a little excitedly, Laurie smiled, "There's a path over by there" he nodded his head towards a small trail, "Might give us a better vantage". Laurie looked from the path, back to the drive. She guessed it didn't really matter which way they went as long as they both brought them to whatever it was at the end of it. The car spluttered as she turned the engine off, parked just down the road a little. It almost made her worry that it wouldn't turn back on when they got back in it. Especially with the whole escape vehicle thing Ads was now talking about.

Laurie was just hoping for the nice, normal 'Hi, I'm your new neighbour, do you have any sugar' scenario, and not the 'Hello Neighbour' scenario she'd watched him play in a game once.

The path, which had them pass by some sort of greenhouses, eventually led them to the steps in to what seemed to be the grounds of this huge, but gorgeous redwood ranch house.

They'd both be gawking at it, their mouths wide open and they eyes bulging out of their heads - had they not been welcomed by six-armed guards who now had their rifles pointed at their faces. They could even see the red dots of some snipers aimed at eachothers foreheads from in the distance somewhere.

Nudging Ads to follow her lead, Laurie put her hands up slowly,

"What do you want" a bald one asked, looking down his scope at Laurie. Ads looked over at her, a sob stuck in his throat that he tried to swallow it back,

"We were just looking" she said quickly, "We... We um, moved in to the... the house, the house down the way... the purple one... and... uhh... yeah, we, we saw the house on the way in, thought we'd come say... hi",

"The owner ain't here" he said, his voice was smooth and charismatic, even with the gun he held inches from her head, "Best be going".

"Yeah, yeah, we'll, we'll come back another time" Laurie said. The man nodded, the small smile telling her that was probably best, but still, they kept their guns up, escorting them back down the path to where their car was, and to where two more people were looking it over.

"Nice car" one of them said, the guy leaned back on the bonnet, eyeing Laurie up before the bald guy shot him a glance and he looked down, a small smile on his lips,

"Thanks" Laurie pulled her key from her pocket, "It works",

"You don't sound like you're from around here, or any way close" he said as he looked back up,

"No, half a world away" Laurie said quietly as she glanced back at the six men that had now dwindled to just two, the bald one - and then another with some crazy looking hair; although, she could still see the red laser of a sniper rifle passing through her vision every now and then,

"We came here to join Eden's gate" Ads said, he'd found a bit of dutch courage as they'd walked, now fascinated by the guns the men held instead. There was never any hope in understanding a thirteen year old boy. Laurie was sure that girls couldn't be any worse.

"Well, you're in luck, you're living in the land of Eden's gates Baptist" he proclaimed, raising his arms as if he was gonna hail Mary,

"You're the Willis family" the bald one asked. Laurie felt her stomach do a little turn as she nodded,

"Yeah",

"Ah" he said, "You best be on your way then. The Laurels back that way. Turn at the first turning, follow the road, turn again and then over the bridge", he pointed back down the way they'd come,

"Thanks" Laurie said, she opened the door for Ads to get in, but he was still looking at the guy - or his gun,

"What kind of gun is that" Ads asked,

"It's a rifle son",

"Can I-",

"Nope. You heard him, best be on our way" Laurie said, she smiled sheepishly at the guy before pulling Ads by the shoulders and pushing him in to the truck.

"We'll see you soon" the man said,

"Yeah" Laurie said, making sure Ads was in before walking around to the other side,

"Be careful out there. Some folk here ain't as forgiven as us" he warned. Laurie smiled curtly, a small nod to the man before she started the engine and it tumbled off, spluttering a little down the road before it picked up and they were on their way.

Once they'd made the turning, Ads finally spoke up,

"That was so cool" he scrunched his hands up and shook his whole body,

"Being held at gun point is cool" Laurie said; she took a deep breath as she sat back,

"You were cool. You handled all that like a boss" he jumped in his seat, leaning back,

"See, sweet talking the locals" Laurie said, making Ads chuckle.

"What's a Baptist" he asked after a moment. Considering he'd been on the brink of sobbing, he looked to be infused by the experience now. Again, she'd never be able to understand the mind of a thirteen-year-old boy.

"Did you go to school" Laurie asked, raising a brow,

"Yeah, but, I don't like R.E and stuff" Ads pouted. Laurie wasn't surprised; you didn't need any sort of religious education when you had her dad in the house,

"A Baptist performs baptisms, it's kind of the same as a christening, except, your older and they dunk your head in the water instead" Laurie told him, gesturing the action with her hand,

"I was christened, right?" Ads asked,

"You were" Laurie said, "Should have seen the demon that came out of you" she added, which Ads completely ignored,

"So, do I need to be baptised then" he gestured to himself,

"I have no idea kid. I don't think any of us do" - it wasn't like her father to walk in to something he didn't truly understand, or he did, he'd just choose not to tell them about the armed house guards that would point their guns at your head for simply looking at a house.

Although, perhaps if they hadn't almost snuck up behind it and gone up that obnoxious drive-way, they might not have been so hostile.

Before they knew it though, they were home, passing by the same hay-field and back over the bridge. Ads jumped out of the car, declaring to Jackie, who was coming out, roused by the engine spluttering in to a slow death that they'd almost got shot.

Safe to say, she'd closed the door over swiftly and told him to shush, taking a couple moments to realise what he was saying,

"You what" she looked to Laurie, "You almost got what",

"We went to that house. Got some armed guards there that sort of, aimed guns at our head" Ads said, almost skipping around her,

"That's not funny" Jackie warned, but Ads only shrugged at her,

"Serious. There were even sniper rifles with laser dots and stuff" he pointed at his head,

"What" Jackie said, dumb-founded, she looked to Laurie, "That place with the YES sign"

"Yeah" Laurie said, "They weren't too bad afterwards, but, yeah, a bit of a... hostile welcoming",

"I need to tell Tom" Ads said, only for Jackie to shush him again, pulling him away from the door,

"No, no, no, he's in there with the Father",

"Dad's back" Laurie said, trying to hide the sarcastic joy in her voice, but her mother scowled at her anyway,

"Yes, Dad and The Father", Laurie raised a brow,

"The Father",

"Yes. The leader of Eden's gate" Jackie glanced back.

"They knew who we were. Them armed guards. They knew our last name" Laurie said, feeling the hair on her arms stand on edge, either from the cold or the wretch in her stomach.

"The Father says he knew we were coming" Jackie said, her voice going hoarse as she looked to Ads who was completely uninvolved with the worry of the situation,

"Dad said he'd never met them though, never spoken to him before" Laurie took a few steps closer and her mom shrugged as she looked back to the door,

"I know, I know".

After a moment, it opened and Laurie took a step back as a man, dressed in a blue suit with yellow tinted glasses sitting on the edge of his nose, sporting a beard and a man-bun she couldn't help, but think actually suited him, walked out. All he needed was a hat and he'd look like one of those cowboys you'd see on the TV.

No matter how strange he looked though, his presence eased the worry in Laurie's stomach as her dad followed him out. Plumper, and sporting kaki trousers and an off-white t-shirt that seemed to blend in with his hair more and more, the man held her dads hand, their fore-heads touching in some sort of good-bye before he pulled away and looked to them instead.

"Good evening" he said, "My name is Joseph Seed. I am the leader at Eden's Gate, and we cannot wait to welcome you in to the family we have created here". He went from one to the other, holding Jackies hand and nodding at her, making her face blush a bright red as he moved on to Ads, shaking his hand with a big smile on his face before going over to Laurie.

He stopped a moment longer with her though, almost as if he could see through to the innards of her soul through the oval glasses he wore. He took her hand and she let go of the breath she didn't even realised she'd been holding,

"Welcome to Eden's Gate my child" he said quietly. He turned back to look at the others, "We have a sermon tomorrow" he looked to Laurie, "Near the crop field, not far from here, I'll send someone to pick you up". It wasn't him asking, it was him telling them. But it only seemed that Laurie realised that as he smiled, letting her hand go as her dad said,

"That's great, we'll see you then Father" Frank said, bowing his head,

"Praise be to you" Joseph said, he nodded his goodbye as a truck pulled up near the house, as if it had been waiting for him.

"Isn't he magnificent" Frank cooed, watching the truck drive-away. Tom turned his head to him, his father might be able to hide his doubts from some weird bearded guy he just met, but his family knew when he forced the words out. No matter how consistent or real they sounded.

"I think he's a bit scary" Laurie said, Tom turned away, letting go of a chuckle and Frank huffed,

"He's a very generous man" Jackie assured her, the small scowl still in her voice, "Look at what he brought us"

Inside, the house was fully furnished. It wasn't much, but it had a new couch, a small boxed TV that seemed to have some sort of signal, the room that had been boarded off had a queen sized bed, big enough to fit her parents, and, up the newly fitted ladder in to the attic, there were two raised mattresses in each corner of the room - and the room with the unhinged door was now hinged, with a single bed sat under the window.

It wasn't much, but it was enough, and the thought of staying there, the thought of him, it didn't feel all that bad anymore. Although, there was still the problem of the whole 'almost shot' business,

"What was the ranch like" Tom asked as he looked from Ads to Laurie,

"They held guns to our heads" Ads told him, which made Frank look to them and then Laurie,

"What",

"Yeah, armed guards. They weren't too bad, but still - I hope that don't happen every time you want to check out the neighbour's house" Laurie told him. Ads shrugged as he sat down on the couch, flicking the television on.

"The Father did say there was some resistance here. That some are more opposed at releasing their sins and marching to Edens gate" Frank shrugged, as if he was hinting something, "And, from what I gather, that ranch belongs to Josephs brother, John. We literally live right next door to the Seeds",

"Is that a good thing" Laurie asked,

"Should be" Frank said,

"There's some famous last words if I ever heard them" Tom pointed out.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys!_


	3. A Beginning

Chapter Three - A Beginning

The first night was restless for all the family. Whether it was the Montana heat, the sound of locust, or just the entirety of the whole thing, none of them woke up with a smile, and Frank; Frank hadn't slept at all. Joseph had passed him a book before he'd left, told him to read it, to let his family see the words, and he had; the Book of Joseph documented all the moments that had led them to Hope County, how The Father had lost and found his family, how they had started off in a slaughterhouse in Rome, only to arrive in Hope County a few years later with a following of people.

The brothers had been torn apart, separated, and, with faith, and maybe even sheer luck, they had found each other again. It was inspirational - the whole journey was - and it gave Frank more hope that The Father could fix his family, his children, like he had his own.

Except, one of the brothers, the youngest one, the one Joseph called the Baptist. Frank didn't know what to think of him. Jacob was your usual war veteran that had been thrown out like a piece of garbage, but John, he'd had this materialistic life before and nothing had ever been enough for him. Even when they'd been introduced, Frank had felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. As much as they looked alike, he knew then that John was nothing like Joseph. And, the fact that they lived on his door step. Well, that thought made him worry all the more.

When the next morning did come, Laurie and Tom were sat outside on the sofa with the broken spring, looking at the four bee houses in their 'garden' - if you could call it that. None of them were sure where their land ended and others began. There was also some sort of bunker at the end of the 'garden', which was flooded, and even had a note addressed to some lady that said the key was inside 'said' flooded bunker to the generator house - that would empty 'said' flooded bunker of water.

They both decided that it was a job for another day, but then proceeded to argue about who was gonna go deep-sea diving. However, it was cut short when Ads shouted over to them. A truck was outside, the Edens Gates starlike symbol painted on the side in red, occupied by a bald man. The same bald man from the ranch house.

"Nice to see yall again" he said, he didn't seem as tense as the night before and, his rifle was nowhere in sight.

"Wish I could say the same" Laurie said, the man smiled,

"Hop in, the Fathers expecting you" he gestured to the tailgate behind. Ads jumped straight in to the front, not giving anyone else the chance.

"Come on L, open air will do you some good" Tom said, slapping his hands on her shoulder as he passed by her. Laurie sighed and followed the rest of them up.

The journey mostly consisted of Ads chittering away at the man, asking about the guns, about the ranch house, about the guy that owned it. He even mentioned that Tom had told Laurie to sweet-talk whoever lived there so they could go inside. The man had laughed at that, saying that the owner wasn't one to be sweet-talked, that he was a man who could look straight threw and know your deepest darkest sins without knowing a thing about you.

Tom had smiled at the comment, assuming it was just a ploy to make Ads scared, perhaps stop him talking but, all Ads had done was gawk at him, even more intrigued and continued on with his chatter, asking more about the projects, the hows, the whats, the whys. It was an interesting conversation to listen to, the driver gave up the details easily; they wanted to save as many people as they could. And, they would even save the people who didn't want to be saved. Because, in the end, everyone had a purpose.

The driver was a believer; he'd been sinful, he'd seen what it had done to him, to his friends, to his family, and the people at Eden's gate, they had saved him. Perhaps their methods weren't all that good, all that easy, but it had worked for him. And that had been enough.

Laurie had missed all of it though, her head between her knees as she took her deep breaths. Usually, she was more prepared, usually she'd sit in the front, or even drive, and the travel sickness would be forgotten but, she'd used up most of her pills on the way there, and the others were now lost in the corner of her bag,

The holey roads, the dirt paths, the open air, it just threw her off even more. It was something she'd always suffered with. Even in the womb, her mother told her that the only time she was sick was when she was travelling.

It had also accounted for a moment in her life which, to this day, she still hadn't let down.

And considering where they were going, wasn't one she'd want to repeat.

You see, both she and Tom were christened, and when they were twelve, they'd had their holy communion.

Or, more-like, she had an unholy communion where people whispered devil behind her back (and her face) because she threw up the blood and body of Christ. If it hadn't been for the rushed car-ride before, perhaps her life wouldn't have spiralled in to what it had become.

But, that was behind her now. This place was supposed to be a new start. Or, as much as it could be when her downfall was sitting across from her.

Laurie had only just managed to raise her head as they were coming to a stop, tumbling down a path towards a grey tent,

"The Father told me that he preaches at his church more often or not, but he likes to come to the people as well, to spread his word further" Frank said eagerly. Maybe too eagerly Laurie wondered as she leaned back, holding her stomach with one hand and the truck with another,

"That's nice of him" Laurie mumbled, "Maybe he can do it in our garden next time".

They were early for the sermon, and it gave Laurie that little bit of time she needed to walk around, to ease the nausea in her stomach as Ads walked next to her, making sure to tell her all that she had missed of the conversation with the bald man. He'd also been polite enough to ask the guy's name. His name was Randall, Randy to his friends, and he'd been a follower since the beginning, following the Seeds from the slaughterhouse they'd started all the way to their gates of Eden.

"The fact that they started off in a slaughterhouse doesn't bother you" Laurie asked,

"A little, but" he looked up at her, "I don't know. I don't know", Laurie nodded, a smile making her sigh. Ads usually had an answer for everything.

Once the nausea had settled, she and Ads walked over to the entrance of the tent, following behind a red-haired man with a rifle slung across his back. It was almost like the British version of hand-bags.

Inside, benches acted as pews, and at the front, Joseph Seed stood with a man that looked like him, but younger and with a slightly longer goatee.

"Are they brothers" Ads whispered to her, making the red-haired man glance back at them before stepping to the side, letting them pass on to the empty seats next to the others,

"Could be our new neighbour" Laurie said as they sat.

The Father turned to them all then. The younger man turning away and standing over by the corner, looking over the congregation and stopping on Laurie and her family for a fleeting moment before glancing back at Joseph. None of them seemed to notice, all of them now watching as The Father opened his arms, welcoming them all in silence, but Laurie had. There was something about him that made the hairs on her arms stand on edge, and she didn't know if it was because he was devilishly handsome or that he was creepy as hell.

If anything, she was surprised her mums jaw hadn't dropped to the floor yet.

Josephs sermon talked of confession, of atonement, of how only sin could be atoned for with pain. He spoke of the world as it was, what it had been, what it would become. It probably would have been interesting to listen to, but Laurie felt another wave of nausea wash over her and she had to put her head down, taking deep breaths as she kept telling herself to hold on until it was over.

The moment his voice stopped, and the people began to clap, Laurie slipped out, her head down as she left through the tent doors and bumped in to the back of someone as she turned to go around the corner,

"Sorry" she said quickly, looking up at the Fathers younger look-alike,

"It's no problem" he said, his voice like a vice that might have kept her tethered there had she not been worried she'd puke all over the nice brown trench coat he was wearing, she passed by him with a quick smile, feeling his eyes on her as she found her way around tent, walking a little more until she came to the back of it. Laurie looked back, to see if the man had followed her, but he hadn't, leaving her to lie down on the grass.

She closed her eyes, taking in the rich air of the Montana country side before opening her eyes, looking up at the cloudless sky. It was peaceful but, the sudden thought of having to get back in the truck made her stomach twist and she turned herself over, throwing up. A little panicked, she pushed herself up, in an awful attempt to get away from the smell.

She backed in to something, or someone and turned around to Joseph Seed, feeling a coldness wash over her as she looked up at him, she hadn't realised how tall he was.

"Are my sermons that bad" he asked. There was a joke to his voice, a sarcasm that made the coldness ease, but still, she felt something else, some inner meaning,

"I get... travel sick" she said,

"Yes, your father told me. He also said that you threw up at your holy communion" he put his arm out then, as it to usher her to walk with him, and, for some, unknown reason to her, she did. He was a very strange man, he really was, but, despite the edge on his words, and the feeling in her gut, she realised that she wasn't frightened of him. He passed her what she assumed was a hankie of some sort and she wiped her mouth over - she'd done pretty well at keeping herself clean it seemed, although, the taste was still burning in the back of her throat,

"Yeah, I'm sure you can imagine how that went",

"I can" Joseph said, "And I'll just assume you're no devil reincarnate",

"Thanks" Laurie said, not entirely sure if he was joking or not,

"Now, I do suggest that you take the walk back. The Montana country side is something to behold and we wouldn't want you throwing up on Johns rug" he looked at the younger man who was still in the same place as earlier.

So, that was the owner of the ranch where they'd had guns pointed at their heads. He looked her over and then looked to the red-haired man who they'd followed in to the tent before, conversing with him quickly before turning back, a smile on his face,

"We wouldn't want that at all" he said, smiling as he glanced over to Laurie's mother and father who were coming over from another couple who had attended the sermon, Tom and Ads ambling along behind them,

"I hope you're feeling better my love" Frank said as he saw her, she forced a smile at him,

"Yeah" Laurie said, "Yeah" Joseph patted her shoulder gently as he took his arm away and went to her father, holding his hand as he spoke to him animatedly.

"So. You were the one nosing in the bushes last night" she heard John say as she watched her father laugh and smile with the older man,

"So. You're the one who have guards point guns at people's heads for looking at your house" Laurie said without looking at him, "And then invite them over for dinner". He scoffed, clicking his tongue as he looked over at the red-haired man, raising his brows before looking back at her, he thought for a minute and then looked to Joseph,

"It seems I am" he said, he clicked his tongue again, "I'll see you tonight" he said, the tone telling her that she didn't have a choice.

"Laurie, come" Joseph said, holding his hand out. Laurie stepped away from John and in to the fathers embrace, the six of them lowered their heads together; "This is just the beginning for you, it is the start of something beautiful, the start of your cleansing, of your atonement. It will be painful, sacrifices will be made, but your souls will be saved from the coming collapse. That, I promise you".

Laurie had heard a lot of promises in her life, and, as of yet, none of them had come to pass. But, for the first time in a long time, she believed him.

Whether they were saved through death, or 'salvation', was another thing all together.


	4. Blissed

Chapter Four – Blissed

Out of the five Willis', only Tom had agreed to the walk back. Ads had wanted to speak with the driver some more, and their parent's just followed suit.

The Father had told the twins that it was about six-hundred metres away from where they stood, and, all-in-all, Laurie worked out that it was about six Chester Zoo Lion enclosure lengths and, when you thought of it like that, it didn't seem all that far.

As they made their way down the road, a small convoy of trucks, the Edens gate symbol painted over the bonnets, passed them, slowing as the men and women from the project glanced over at them, a judgement to their stare before they all shared small discrete nods and drove off again.

"You know what. The more I think about this, the more I think it's a stupid idea" Laurie said as they drove away,

"Give it a chance at least" Tom said as he fluffed his hair up, proceeding to yawn and throw his arms up, stretching dramatically as they passed a female angular on the road. She'd raised her eyebrows and just kept going.

"Smooth dipshit" Laurie said,

"You watch. Girls be wanting it just as much as they did back home",

"Lust is a sin you know" Laurie said, "For some reason, I don't think the people at Eden's Gate would appreciate any of your efforts",

"Fuck off. I saw the way you looked at that John. Damn jaw nearly fell to the floor, you wanted to fuck him so bad, you faded in to the bliss". The bliss was something Tom had only found out about during a conversation he'd overheard with one of the congregation, some sort of powder that cleansed your head and made you think straight. Laurie scoffed,

"You're on about mom right" Laurie said, picking up the pace a little so she'd leave him behind,

"Both of you" he said, not bothering to catch up with her,

"He creeped me out a little bit" Laurie said as she turned around, walking backwards, "His eyes felt like they could see straight in to my soul" she shivered and then turned back around,

"Well, from the sounds of it, he's the guy you confess your sins too" Tim said, "So I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of him before this is over",

"What do we do once we've joined up though" Laurie said, she slowed down, waiting for her brother to catch up with her now, but he dawdled, stopping to look at something in the distance, "Just sit in our new house and await the collapse",

"I honestly have no clue" he said, she turned her head slightly to him, her eyes still on the road ahead, "But what I do know, is that we should go over there" he pointed to a white barn-like house in the distance,

"Why" Laurie asked,

"Because, once we join whatever this thing is, I don't feel like walks in the country side is on the agenda" Tom said, going off the road and heading for to it. He'd seen it on the way there too,

"We need to get back you know, we have that dinner" Laurie said, and the direction he was going in seemed mighty close to where the ranch was. And, she didn't feel like getting there any earlier than they had to.

"Oh come on, when did you turn in to a 'goody-two-shoes'" Tom said,

"Since we came to a place where people hold guns to your head cause yah wanted to look at a house" Laurie said. She sighed, watching him walk in to the field, "If the wolverines come, I'm pushing you over" she yelled before following him in.

Both of them had always loved to explore. Ever since they were young, they'd always find their way in to abandoned houses, in to sewers, in to things they shouldn't have, but, since then, they'd grown up. Or, Laurie had anyway. Tom was twenty-seven going on seven.

The white barn - or house - looked as if had been abandoned months ago, but on the grounds surrounding it, there were three greenhouses, the greenhouses that Laurie had seen the day before. By the time she'd walked around it, looking to see if anyone maybe lived there, Tom was lying on the ground in the middle of one of the gardens, his head rolling from one side to the other gently,

"What are you doing" Laurie asked, her brother was unbelievable,

"You gotta try this" Tom said, he thought he was yelling it, but his voice was quiet, small amongst the sprinkling of white that surrounded him. Laurie took a step forward and felt it, as if a gentle pull made her take a deep breath, breathing in the sweet scent around them. It was as if a weight had been lifted, but, they had to go, and whatever drug this was, Tom could wait until later to fully indulge himself in it.

Groggily, she pulled Tom by the arm and dragged him out of the greenhouse, falling as a fresh breeze passed by them and brought her back to her senses. She held her arms out, stopping herself from hitting the ground and then sat up, looking to Tom who was blinking his eyes, as if he was coming out of some sort of trance.

"That was real good. What do you think it is",

"That bliss I think" Laurie said, she smiled, "If John Seed has that effect, I don't think there'd be much of him left" she pushed herself up and then helped her brother to his knees, he needed just a little bit more of the fresh air to get his head straight.

"Man, I could get used to that shit" Tom said,

"You know, we're supposed to be leaving our past behind us, right? Not bringing it with us",

"Yeah, but if their throwing this shit around, how is any self-respecting addict recoverier supposed to recover" Tom shrugged. He was right, but Laurie wasn't about to indulge him with that, so she kept quiet, and he seemed to forget, his pitiful attempts of walking making it in no way easier for her to half carry, half drag him back towards the house. It made her laugh though, and the fact that they, again, passed that female angular, made it all the better.

By the time they got to the bridge, Tom could just about walk on his own, but he was still babbling nonsense, about this, about that. And, when their mother had seen him, she'd looked to Laurie and Laurie had shaken her head, she wasn't in the mood to have to explain this one.

And, she didn't want to have to give her father the satisfaction of her brother being high less than two days into their 'new life'.


	5. Yes

Chapter Five - Yes

Later that evening, Frank had thrown himself in to a speech he'd given his family many a times. They were to behave in the presence of their new acquaintances, to only speak when spoken to, and, to essentially, leave all the talking to him. Even if he never said those exact words.

After they'd made all that clear, as if they weren't all fully functional adults – the same truck from the morning pulled up, beckoning them in to it. Except, this time, the driver insisted that, as much as he had liked talking to Ads, he thought it best if Laurie sat up front.

"I don't think I introduced myself to yah" the driver said,

"You didn't make the greatest first impression" Laurie admitted, he smiled,

"Well. Let us begin again then. I'm Randall" he said, he held his hand out and she shook it. It was rough and coarse, and, if she had to guess, with the bald head and the long beard he had going on, he used to be some sort of shepherd but, a lot of the men seemed to be sporting beards in this place, so perhaps it was just part of the Montana country side just as much as the wolverines were.

 _Or they were all trying to look like Jesus, or the Father._

"Laurie" she replied,

"Nice to meet you" he said, he slowed the car as they came to the turning.

"You're not from around here, are you" Laurie said, remembering Ads telling her that he'd been one of the 'original' followers at Edens Gate,

"No, came with them from Rome",

"What were you before" Laurie asked,

"I was a baker" Randall said, "Savouries". _Not a shepherd then…_

"I've always preferred sweet" Laurie said,

"Me too" Randall smiled, "Only did it because I thought I had nothing better" he sighed and then they turned again,

"So Eden's Gate saved you from the terror of a pasty then" Laurie said, he smiled again, but it was small, it didn't reach his eyes,

"They saved me from myself. I was in a bad place, and… They got me through it. John. Joseph. I think I would have thrown my life away years ago if it hadn't been for them", he almost had when he'd stumbled in to the slaughterhouse that day by pure chance,

"You make it all sound so…" Laurie wasn't sure of the word,

"Freeing" Randall suggested, "It wasn't. It was painful. I won't lie to you. Some people aren't cut out for it; some people aren't willing to be cleansed, to atone. You have to endure your sin, and that, that's the worst thing",

"How do you endure your sin",

"You wear it like a badge, you let the world see it and you hone it, you turn it in to something that you can use, manipulate it, endure it and then, once you've atoned, endured, you rip it out like a cancer"

"Literally" Laurie asked after a little moment, hoping he was being metaphorical,

"Sometimes" Randall replied.

The rest of the journey to the ranch was quiet. Laurie could hear Tom and Ads talking in the back, something about guessing what they might be having to eat, and then her father chiming in every now and then on how they should act, but, all she could think about was the mistake they may have made by coming here.

Wear it like a badge, and then rip it out. _Sometimes._

This night, the ranch was a glow with light in the darkness. A warm, welcoming kind of glow. As if someone was home, and not just it's body guards.

"Got any words of advice" Laurie said as they stopped, the others already getting out from the back of the truck,

"Don't be too sarcastic" Randy said, he peered out of the wind screen at a couple of men that were stood outside, no guns in sight. Laurie nodded and then put her hand on the handle, she pushed down to open the door, "And" she stopped, hovering, "Remember, there's a reason why people follow them, despite everything, people are willing to die for them", Laurie nodded, wondering why something like that would help her,

"Thanks" she said as she got out, closing the door over as Ads came over to her, looking over at the two men stood near the steps, both clothed like the guards from the night before. She was sure the one with the crazy hair had been with Randall,

"Where's the guns gone" he asked, Randall smiled and said,

"Ask John, he'll-",

"NO" Laurie said and turned Ads away, pushing him to follow Tom up the path, "Don't encourage him" she turned to a grin on Randall's face and shook her head as she walked away, smiling.

One of the men – crazy haired guy - nodded at them curtly and they followed him over to a set of double doors which he pushed open, letting them through in to a large luxurious looking hall-like room. There was a fireplace in the middle of the room and a long wooden table in front of it, laden with plates, some sort of meat – beef Tom said – and platters of vegetables.

There was a moose head that overlooked them, four black banners that hung from the ceiling with the Edens Gate symbol on them, expensive looking couches, glass shelves with expensive looking plates inside, and a whole host of taxidermy animals.

It wasn't long before John Seed came in to view, wearing a grey button downed shirt and black jeans, a radio in his hand,

"Welcome" he said. Jackie bumped in to Laurie's shoulder by accident, a small intake of breath making Laurie glance towards her, rolling her eyes. Tom mimicked her on Laurie's other side and whispered,

"I'd go gay for that",

"Did you cook this yourself" Jackie asked, holding her hands out at the food on the table. She wore a white buttoned blouse and a long, flowy grey skirt that accentuated her curves. Frank wore a shirt and some dress pants, the same as Tom, whilst Laurie had gone with some black jeans and an open blue shirt with a white tank. Ads had come in dress pants and a t-shirt. They were well-dressed for an occasion like this, but John Seed made it look like they hadn't even tried.

"I wish I could say yes, but no. Cooking is still beyond me" John said,

"Oh, your wife perhaps then" Jackie suggested,

"Both beyond me I'm afraid", Tom elbowed Laurie,

"He can-", Laurie shushed him and John caught her eye, a small smile making her look down and shake her head before she went towards the table, pulling out one of the chairs, she felt her father glare at her, but she ignored him,

"Well, compliments to the chef. It looks lovely" she said as she sat down. John smiled and then gestured for the rest of them to sit. Tom looked around as he sat, noticing the two extra seats and place mats,

"Is your brother gracing us with his presence then" he asked as he looked over to John, also finding the glare of his father as he did,

"Yes, he's on his way here" John said, "Jacob will also be joining us",

"Is that the red-haired guy" Ads asked, a mouthful of beef already,

"Can you not finish your food before you speak" Jackie scolded. Frank looked as if ready to give up.

"Yes" John said, he sat in the empty chair next to Laurie, and Tom raised his brow at her as she took a sip of the soda water next to her plate. She glared at him and then glanced at her dad quickly. He was too quiet. Something told her that he wasn't too fond of this John Seed. "So, tell me more about yourselves" John said, he lounged back in his chair, a hand resting on the back of Laurie's.

"There's not much to tell really" Jackie said quickly,

"I doubt that" John said, "It's a long way to come to save your soul" Laurie felt her stomach turn, a wash of cold making her feel as if he was staring right at her. She took another drink of the soda water. It didn't taste right. It didn't taste right at all. It tasted sweet, like the flowers from that greenhouse. She put it down,

"We have a lot of sins" her father spoke up then, he put his hands together, interlocking his fingers, "Some of us more than others" he looked to Tom and then Laurie. Laurie didn't look at him, she didn't need to see that look in his eye, but John did, he saw the way his eyes filled with something he couldn't figure out, something he thought he may have seen before, but then he blinked and it was gone, "But, that's why we're here" Frank smiled and looked to John "To atone for our sins and march to Edens Gate",

"And you shall. We all shall" John said, he moved his hand off the back of Laurie's chair, the door to the ranch opening just after. They turned to Joseph Seed and, who, they all assumed must be Jacob _. The guy with the rifle on his back; like a handbag_. Joseph was wearing a grey suit, whilst Jacob was wearing a camo jacket and some black kaki pants.

At least they weren't the most under-dressed anymore.

It did surprise Laurie though, that it only dawned on her in that moment - no matter how irrelevant it was - that each of the brothers had this sort of – fuck me – look. Even Jacob, and he had all these blotches of red and scar tissue all over him. She honestly wondered if half the people who followed them would have followed them had they not all looked so good.

"I apologise for our delay. It seems that many believe us to be in the wrong. There's no doubt that the locusts will be here soon" Joseph said, he pulled up the chair next to John, Jacob taking the end of the table. He didn't say anything, just sat with this stony look on his face,

"And the collapse will be upon us" John said,

"Yes brother. It will" Joseph pulled a platter of carrots to himself and spooned it on to his plate, "But, for tonight, we will dine to our health, to God, to Eden's Gate, and your cleansing shall begin",

"What does the cleansing need" Ads asked, "Cause I was christened when I was little and stuff",

"You'll be baptised" Joseph said, "Then, you will confess your sins, and then, your atonement shall begin",

"Surely he has no sins though. He's thirteen" Tom pointed out between mouthfuls of beef,

"I wanna be baptised" Ads intercepted,

"Well, no sin, no atonement" John said, he shrugged a shoulder,

"But I wanna atone",

"Ads, please" Jackie shushed him and he slouched in his seat,

"Don't worry child, I'm sure we'll find something" Joseph said. Laurie sat back in her chair, she really hoped not.

"Are we to confess tonight" Frank asked, his voice eager and warm now the Father was here, the glares at his family shameful outbursts of words far behind him,

"Confessions are supposed to be private" John said, "And they can take some time",

"If John is anything, he's thorough" Joseph said, he smiled as he placed slices of meat on his plate, he could feel the tension in the air already, "Perhaps we can get one of you done tonight" he suggested. "You just have to decide between yourselves who is to go first". Frank sat back in his chair, Jackie pushed at the meat with her fork, Tom took a drink of the soda-water, instantly recognising the hit he had from earlier at the green house, Ads eyed everyone around the table, waiting and Laurie sighed,

"I'll do it" she said, "Might as well get the worst one out of the way first, right" John looked to her and then to Joseph,

"So, it's decided" Joseph said, he looked to the others, smiling, "Now, let us enjoy this food",

"Wait" Ads said, as if he'd had a revelation, "You're gonna dunk our heads in the water",

"Yes" John said,

"Don't you have to wait an hour",

"No" John said, he smiled,

"Oh" he looked over at Jackie, who was still pawing at her food, thinking about all the times he had to wait to go swimming.

They ate the food, making small talk as the night went on. Laurie didn't pipe in any though, she just ate and sipped at her drink, hoping the bliss, or whatever was in it, would give her the courage to confess. The thought of it made her feel sick. Just how thorough could someone be when it came to something like this? How deep would they have to go?

And, what even counted as a sin to them? Stealing from the pick-a-mix? Stealing a ten pound from your mums purse so your brother could get high? Not helping the old lady who fell over in the street? Wasting your life away? Hating yourself?

And, some of the things she'd done, how could she atone for them when it was a part of who she was.

The worst thing, though, was that she didn't believe herself to be the worst out of the five of them, she'd said it because it was what he wanted to hear; and, she wondered how truthful a man like him would be when he was asked to confess to everything he'd done. Especially when he thought himself such a saint.

The cleansing, and the beginning of their atonement, would take place after a walk in the darkness, guided by the light of the moon and down a path from the ranch to the river's edge. There was a canopy of sorts there, with bales of hay on the ground where people could sit. Joseph and Jacob stayed on the river's edge whilst the Willis', John and five other men waded in to the water. Randy was one of the men, his hand on Laurie's shoulder.

"You'll only be under for a few moments. Relax a little" he whispered, she nodded her head, taking a deep breath as John turned to them, he was up to his thighs in the water. He opened the book in his hand and held it out in front of him, "I won't drown you, I promise" Randy said, which made Laurie look at him as he put his hand on Lauries chest and pushed her down in to the water, giving her just enough time to take another deep breath before she went under.

"We must wash away our past" she could hear John from under the water, "We must expose our sins", at that moment, she felt a wave of peace wash over her, "We must atone", Randy raised her up, her vision blurred with white stars sprinkling over the top of it. The Bliss.

"For only then may we stand in the light of God and walk through his Gates unto Eden". John wiped his thumb over Tom's head, and then Ads, then Jackie's, then Frank and then Laurie once Randy had guided her over, her legs feeling like led beneath her. His thumb lingered there a moment and then he took her chin, making her look at him,

"Are you ready to confess" he said. Laurie looked down at his arm, at the tattoo's they were covered in; he had so many that they all seemed to melt in to one another, he pointed her chin up again with a finger, still awaiting his answer,

"Yes".


	6. Confession

Chapter Six – Confession

Laurie had no idea what to expect. Would he have her sit in a confession box, talking through a grid? Would they be sat in a darkened room with a light hovering over them, like one of those interrogation shows? Would he listen as well as Joseph made out? Or would she have to catch herself? Would he have heard worse? Did she even really want to do this?

Did she want to bring up all the things she'd been so great at holding down. What if it just made it all worse?

Her family were carted back to their new house, but Laurie was left sitting on the couch at the ranch house, staring at the fire with her legs crossed and a cup of tea in her hands. Her clothes were still damp, a towel wrapped around her shoulders as she sipped at the drink. She didn't even like tea.

After a while, John came in and sat on the other side of the couch, lounging back as he looked over to her. Her stomach churned as she put the tea down, glancing over at him as he tapped the space between them with his fingers,

"Are you ready to confess" he asked, he glanced over at her, meeting her eye. She looked away, looking to the fire, she wasn't so sure anymore, "You're safe here" he said, "Whatever you say will stay between us". Laurie sat back in the chair,

"But it won't, will it" she said, she looked over at him, "Because as soon as I say it out loud, I make it real and it'll be all the easier for the world to see",

"All the easier for you to atone".

John led her in to another room, much smaller than the hall, and much less grand. There was a table and a couple of chairs in the middle of it, a couch to one side, like the one they'd been sat on, some small cupboards, a couple spot lights in the ceiling and a wolfs heads mounted eye-level with her on the wall. Next to the table, there was a smaller, round table, with a blue case on it, a tray of utensils sat next to it. She eyed it suspiciously as she walked around the room,

"What did you expect" John asked as he sat down on one of the chairs, crossing his arms as he lounged back,

"Torture dungeon, I think" Laurie shrugged a shoulder as she traced her hand over the blue case. John smirked, and clicked his tongue,

"Do you think so lowly of me Laurie" he tilted his head,

"No" Laurie admitted, "But, I-" she shrugged, she had no clue, maybe she was just stalling,

"I help people to atone Laurie. And, to truly atone, you must suffer" she felt the hairs on her arms bristle, "But, I'm not about to hold you down and rip off your finger nails when you're so eager. So, go on. Sit." Laurie took a seat and brushed her fingers over the wood, it was dented in places, the wood carved and dug out. "If you're so worried about this, why did you agree to go first" John asked, he leaned forward,

"Because I'm really stupid" Laurie said, she shrugged, "And, part of me, really, really hopes, that like you said, you're not gonna hold me down and rip off my finger nails",

"Confession is sometimes pain enough" John said, "Secrets, lies, truths, they come spilling out and it hurts. Hurts far more than any finger nail I could pull, any gouge I could cut. Sometimes, people need a bit of convincing to say yes, but, you've done that"

"All you need now is my soul on the table" Laurie said. John nodded. "Are you ready for that" Laurie said, "Because I don't think the worlds ready",

"I've heard a lot of things over the years" John said, "Surprise me". Laurie felt as if that was no mean feat. He seemed like the kind of man that was always one step-ahead, as if he could already see inside your head.

"Where do I start" Laurie said quietly. She honestly didn't expect an answer, but he gave her one anyway.

"Perhaps start with the reason you look at your father with such envy" John said. Laurie looked away from him. Was it really that obvious? Had she really got that bad at hiding it? She'd almost convinced herself that only she saw the exchanges they had, the snide remarks that she didn't let hit her anymore.

"I" she trailed off, it wasn't envy, it was worse, "I don't envy him" she said.

"No" John asked, sitting up,

"No" Laurie said. Did it even count anymore? Now she didn't care as much as before? It had too. It had too if he'd noticed it. "I hate him" she said. The words came out so naturally that it almost scared her.

"Why",

"Because" she stopped, she knew why, but... But why was she telling him for. How would saying it out loud help her. How would any of this help her atone when it would just bring it all back up again. She'd got over it. She'd already laid it to rest.

Hadn't she?

And, would it only make her sound as if she had some sort of agenda against her dad? That he would reel them this bullshit story and make it seem as if she was some sort of liar. Like he always did.

But, she guessed they would see how truly 'thorough' John was in his confessions. Because, if her father could win them over with his false words and lies, it wasn't something she wanted to be a part of any way. And, if he didn't pick up on the fact that her father had a bit of a grudge against him too - most likely for making his wives eyes wander more than most, then they knew that he was full of shit.

Laurie looked up at him; he seemed so calm, so composed, almost as if he was willing to wait as long as it took for her to answer him. But, how patient could a man like him be. How long was he really willing to wait? John sat back in the chair then, as if reading her mind.

Perhaps not that long then.

"Because… He's one of those people that sort of…"

How could she word it?

How could she tell him that her dad - who'd saved people from death, brought babies back to life and told people their cancer was gone - completely changed when he came home from work? How the abuse had driven her to hate every inch of her life, hate her mother for standing behind him, her brother for only looking from the outside, never feeling his wrath because he'd been high most of the time?

And now, how years later, even now his wrath had dwindled in to more or less sharp words and jabs whenever he could get them in, she still hated him. Still had this rage pent up inside that she had to control? That it had expanded to other parts of her life that she couldn't control.

"I don't know" she said, she looked down at the table, "I know how he seems. He's a good man to most, and people owe their lives to him, but" she sighed, "He's not an easy man to live with when the white coat comes off",

"People are never the same behind closed doors" John said,

"No" Laurie looked up at him. Where did she start? The earliest one? The one she felt had started it all? Or, the one where she realised that her father hated her?

"When I was… ten… maybe" those years were such a blur from trying to forget, she couldn't remember, "I walked in on an argument, and…" just the thought of it made her choke, "I thought he was going to…", she put her hands together. Part of her was saying that this was too much, that she just had to tell him that her father abused her, that he beat her - physically and mentally - and that would be enough, but the words, as much as she wanted them to stop, they kept coming.

"I thought he was gonna kill my mom", John sat up in the chair slightly, "And… I got in the way", she'd never regretted it, but, what had come afterwards, more the words than the actions, she'd felt hated more than she felt scared.

"He swung at me, caught me on the side of the head, screamed that I shouldn't have been born, that my mum was a whore, that me and Tom weren't his" _if only that were true_ , "He hated me. I was ten, and I could feel that" she hadn't hated him then, she'd been sorry, and she'd tried to make amends, like she always did, but every effort seemed to anger him further, and, in the end, after feeling his wrath more than any child should, she realised that it was because he had no will for it to amend. He enjoyed going to work, being a hero, saving people and then coming home and acting as if he deserved the world at his finger-tips.

And perhaps he did, but not at the expense of his families happiness. Or his daughter's sanity.

That was the beginning though, the worst was yet to come. As she grew, she questioned him more, she got confident – or cocky – or both, and she pushed her luck. She wanted to see how far she could push him, and, in her mind, it was the right thing to do because, then, at least she knew how far it could go until he snapped, and, perhaps the next time he and her mother argued, Laurie would know when it was he'd suddenly turn and wrap his hand around her neck.

"When I was fourteen…" she trailed off. This was the point where she decided that there was no going back. "I hung out with the wrong crowd" typical teenager stuff that her father didn't approve of, of course, but it had been worse, "I got…" she leaned back in the chair, "I got pregnant, and" her life spiralled in to the catacombs of which it now felt like it resided in most days. "I was so fucking stupid" she put her hand on her head and leaned over the table.

Laurie remembered back to that day, when she'd cried at her mum about feeling sick, when she'd begged her not to tell dad, begged her to let her go to the clinic.

"He threw me down the stairs when he found out" she felt the table jerk and flinched, looking over at John who was now stood up. She'd almost forgot he was there,

"Go on" he said, his voice just as calm and composed as before, that look of content still on his face, but his eyes glinted with something else, she looked away from him,

"I wished that I'd…" she trailed off, the sob in her throat was already there. She thought she'd got better at it, about thinking about it all, but the thought of saying it out loud, it made it real, "I wish that I'd broke my neck or something, that the baby had died; but it didn't. That's when I decided that I hated him. I even hated my mum for choosing him over me". She took a deep breath and looked to John, "I did so many stupid things then. So many stupid things". Laurie took a deep breath and put her hands on her lap.

"Tell me Laurie",

"Drugs, mostly weed, none of the hard stuff, but alcohol. I was like that kid that has vodka in their water bottle when the teachers aren't looking" by the time she was fifteen, she was living in her nans back room with a screaming baby she had no love for – because she'd decided that it had ruined her life – and a nanna that was desperately trying to help, but was slowly being lost to dementia, "I threw my life away",

"The baby" John asked, he'd sat down again now,

"That baby is the reason I'm here now" she looked at him, "Because. Somehow. In my infinite wisdom, I let them adopt him" she scoffed at herself. "My parents. Because they did such a good job, And, fuck it if I'm ever gonna let him lay a hand on him like he did me",

"Ads",

"Yes" Laurie said, "I think I was about sixteen, Ads was like one and a half or something, and, somehow, with the help of my nanna, we'd kept this baby alive, but I couldn't do that anymore. My nanna was ill, really ill, and, I didn't have anything. But a baby; this baby had survived the fire I had put it through - even before he was born - and suddenly, my mom; she just, appeared" she gestured to the ceiling with his hand, "Like an angel, and she said she would help" Laurie sighed, "And then, I asked her to have him. Because I was a coward. I couldn't do it. I would never hurt him, but I didn't care for him" a sob escaped her and she swallowed it back desperately, she could feel the tears now. They dripped on to the table and she wiped them off with her hand. "I hated him" she said quietly, "But, most of all, I hated myself. And then… my mom" Laurie smiled, "She took a stand – the only stand she ever took against my dad, and somehow, it worked, and, he let me home.

I hated myself for doing that though, for being able to hate this innocent little soul", she pushed her fingers through her hair, swallowing back another sob that had started to scratch at the back of her throat, "And then. When I was home. It was okay for a while. My father wasn't sorry, but he was... Forgiving... I guess that's the only word you can use for him. And, he didn't hit out as much, but then, he came home one day, from work, and, I don't know what happened. He'd got an injunction or some shit like that, or something, I don't know, and, he took it out on us" Laurie sighed, sniffing back another sob as she put her head back, she still felt stupid for living in that little bubble that everything was going to be okay "He got less shifts in work, more time to dwell on the atrocity that was his family". Laurie put her hands back on the table, interlocking her fingers, "He's said words to Ads, but he's never hit out at him; and maybe he never will, but I can't take that chance".

"Does Ad's know" John asked, his voice gentle,

"Yeah" Laurie said, that was definitely a day to dwell on at another time. Laurie looked up at John, "I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to hate my dad for what he did, or my mum and Tom for what they didn't" she'd forgiven them, but only because she had no choice, but to. "But I feel like, sometimes, that's all I am... Hate" Laurie looked at him, "And then, sometimes, it's fine, I'm fine, and I can honestly say that I feel happy. But then" Laurie shrugged as she sat back, "Then I feel like I'm about to fall off the edge and lose all senses of sanity".

John had stayed quiet, listening to the words. But it had taken all of his strength to keep himself composed, to not reach over to her. He knew what it felt like, to be blamed and punished for no real reason. He knew what it could do to a person. He stood up again.

"I think that's enough of a confession for now" he put his hand out and Laurie looked up at him. She took it, instantly feeling that safety he'd promised before. He led her from the room, taking her up on to the balcony and pushing open one of the doors that led off from it. It was a bedroom. A master bedroom. It was just as impressive as the hall, the red wood lined the walls, expensive looking furniture spread about, a four poster bed, an ensuite through one door, and some sort of walk-in-wardrobe through another.

"None of the other rooms are made up" John said, "Can imagine I don't get many visitors". Laurie didn't say anything. She knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but she didn't have it in her. John turned and pulled a drawer open from the side table closest to the beds and tossed her a vial with some green liquid in it, "You can sleep here for the night. Take that, make it easier", he nodded at the vial and then opened the door.

"Thank you John" Laurie made herself say before he shut it behind him. Part of her just wanted him to stay, just to sit, just to be there, because, she knew, with someone there, someone who knew, it would make it easier, but then, part of her knew how selfish it was to expect that of a man she hardly knew, even though he would know her inside and out by the end of it.

"Night Laurie" he said as he shut the door.

John stood outside, taking a deep breath in of the Montana air before going back inside the hall. He looked over the bannister and saw his brother with his back to him, picking at the left-over beef,

"Is it done" Joseph asked as he came down the stairs,

"Not yet" John said. He walked passed him and Joseph turned as John collapsed on the couch. He didn't think people realised how much it took out of him to have to listen to their confessions - especially when it cut so deep. "Did you know what he was like" he asked as Joseph walked over to him slowly, his hands behind his back,

"I did" he said,

"And you did not think to warn me" John said,

"Would it have made it easier John", John sighed,

"No". He was right, he was _always_ right.

"You must remain unbias",

"Aren't I always" John asked,

"I fear you sometimes forget" Joseph said, making John glance over at him.

"I don't" John assured him.


	7. Acceptance

Chapter Seven – Acceptance

It perhaps would have made her feel better if she'd stayed up all night, thinking over all the things she'd said to John, but she hadn't - as soon as she'd got under the covers and chugged back the vial of green, she'd fell asleep, and, if it wasn't for the knock on the door that morning, she didn't think she would have woke until after lunch-time.

Before she left though, she wandered around the room a bit more. It was brighter there now, and she peeked her head inside the walk-in-wardrobe, the faint smell of aftershave lingering inside, as if John had been there that morning. The thought creeped her out more than anything, but she let it go. It was his room after all.

But, if she was honest, she'd expected the wardrobe to be filled with clothes, but it wasn't. There were a couple jackets, coats, some shirts, a few pairs of pants, but it wasn't what she expected. And, apart from that faint bit of aftershave, the rest of the room didn't smell the same, it didn't smell lived in. The bed sheets, if anything, they'd smelt stale, as if they hadn't been moved in forever. If this was Johns room, it wasn't where he slept.

Eventually, she opened the door and found Randall leaning over the balcony, looking out over the valley,

"John had to go" he said as he turned to her, "Told me to take you home when you finally decided to wake up",

"Oh" Laurie said, she'd assumed it would have all continued from last night,

"Yeah. Said you guys would finish everything off in a couple days" Randy said,

"Does that normally happen" Laurie said as she leaned on the balcony too,

"Sometimes" Randy said. _Sometimes_. "Nothing to worry about" he promised as he looked to her "Don't want him etching the wrong thing on to your pretty little flesh now do we" he suggested as he looked over to a few of the men on the ground. The words made the hairs on her arms prickle and she rubbed at them.

"How thorough is he" Laurie asked after a moment,

"Very" Randall said,

"If someone lied, if they changed the truth" Laurie said, not looking at him "Would he know",

"Yes. All he wants is the truth Laurie. Best to give it to him freely than him to take it",

"And what if somebody didn't" Laurie asked, "What if they changed it? Manipulated it so it went against someone else",

"He'd know",

"And",

"Let's hope you never find out".

Back at the house, Frank was the first one to speak to her. It was as if he'd been waiting.

"So, what sins did he brand you with" he asked, his voice full of spite as she walked passed him,

"None" Laurie said, he scoffed,

"Then you must have lied",

"Or, there's so many, he can't decide which one" Laurie said, slamming the door of her room shut and leaving her father on the other side. She had to stop acting like a child, but, if he spoke to her like one, why not indulge him?

"Not a good night, I'm guessing" Tom said as he leaned through her window, Laurie turned to him,

"Uck, I don't know what it was" Laurie said as she sat down on her bed, it had cut open a lot of shit, but, having it out there now, having said it, it felt easier, it felt as if she was starting to accept the fact that she wasn't over all of it, and that was okay. But, it also made her see through her father that little bit more. You could lie to yourself enough that it became reality sometimes.

"Well, don't dwell on it. Get here, I need you to do some deep sea diving" Tom said as he pushed away from the sill,

"I'm not swimming in to that bunker" she told him as she stood. She'd wanted to change in to some clean clothes, but there was no point now,

"We'll toss for it" Tom said back. Laurie followed Tom down, pass the beehives and down to the shed. Ads was sat on the grass, playing on his Nintendo.

"You're gonna waste away in front of that" Laurie told him, "All these places to explore and you'd rather explore the one in your hands",

"Stop trying to be philosophical" Ads said,

"Thanks" she said before turning back to Tom. She smiled as she saw the coin he was holding, "Heads" she said, and they both watched as the ten pence flipped in to the air and landed on the back of Toms hand, his other hand resting over it. He uncovered it.

Tails.

"Cheater" Laurie said. Tom scoffed and then gestured to the ladder down in to the water, "What is it you want me to look for exactly" she asked as she looked down in to the bleakness. How would she even see in there? She turned back to her brother.

They'd never been very in tune with each other. Probably because Tom was high a lot of the time, but it was as if he'd read her mind. He was holding both a pair of goggles, and a torch covered in cling film and tape. It would do.

Tom looked with her, "From what I gather, the key to this shed is down there",

"Let's hope it's just sat on a table somewhere then" Laurie said. She took off her shirt and her shoes, so she just had her tank-top and jeans on, tossed them to the side, and then descended the ladder. She dipped her foot in as she reached the water, "It's freezing" she said, looking at Tom who was peering down at her, he shrugged at her. Laurie turned the flashlight on and, with a few seconds to compose herself, she lowered herself in to the water further, giving herself time to adjust before emerging herself completely.

Using the flashlight to guide her way, she swam in. From what she could see, it was narrow, but longish, it had some things sticking out of the wall she couldn't really make out, some sort of shelves, and, there on the table in the far corner. Miraculously. Was a key. She grabbed it just as she felt her ears pop; and, as she turned, she saw some sort of blockage, the hidings of another room, but she could feel the pressure in her lungs now, and quickly, she hurried back for the surface.

Laurie took a deep breath as she hit the air.

"I got it" she breathed out, holding on to the ladder as she took a few more deep breaths before lugging herself out, her clothes soaked and weighted, almost as if it was trying to drag her back down. "I got it" she repeated as she reached the top, only to find herself the only one there.

Even Ads had gone. Pulling herself up, Laurie turned around, looking this way and that to see if she could see them, but they were nowhere in sight. Eventually, she shrugged at the empty space and slotted the key in to the shed door. The door fell back in to place as she pushed it open. On the wall, there was some sort of power circuit, and then a lever. She pulled the lever down, hoping for the best, and, after a moment, she heard some cranks turn and hoped that whatever was happening, it was improving the situation and not making it worse. She pushed the door open to Tom and John walking passed the bee houses,

"Managed it then" Tom said when he saw her,

"Yeah" Laurie said, her heart starting to pound as they got closer. He said she had time to think. John looked at her, a confused look on his face as he took her in,

"What did you manage" he asked as Tom went and looked down in to the bunker, watching the water start to lower as it spewed out of the pipe up top,

"Bunker was flooded" Laurie said, she looked away from him, watching as the pipe expelled the last of the water and Tom shone the torch down. From what he could see, there looked to be a few inches of water at the bottom, but he was already calculating some sort of plan that included him, Ads, Laurie, and a load of buckets,

"Is there much of anything down there" John asked, walking over to look,

"I couldn't see to good, but there was stuff there. There's another room as well, I think, but it was blocked off" Laurie told him; she still hadn't moved yet, but she made herself follow them down.

Tom had been wrong, there was about a foot of water left inside.

On the walls were bunk beds, shelves filled with sodden tins and boxes, the table was rusted and buckling, but, at the end, the blockage was still intact, wooden boards covering over the room yonder.

"If we had a drill or something" Tom suggested,

"Their flatheads Tom" Laurie said as she brushed her finger over them; she got her hands between two and pulled. At first, it didn't budge, but then she felt it buckle and the board came off, pushing her backwards and in to John, "Sorry" she said quickly as he pushed her back to her feet, he smiled when she glanced back at him quickly, no hint of fuss on his face,

"Well done little sheep" he said. He reached past her and pulled at another, the wood sodden and, with a more precise yank, it broke in his hands, crumbling in to pieces. Laurie pulled another one downwards and it just popped off, door frame and all. Eventually, enough of the planks were gone so that Laurie could slip under it and in to the next room.

There was money all over the floor, soaked, but maybe dryable, a black and yellow safe that looked locked shut, and then, some magazines whose the pages fell out and splashed back in to the water.

There was also some ammo on the units, all soaked through and probably unusable, a jar of nails, a few black cases she wasn't sure what they would be used for, and a hand-gun which she picked up and looked over.

She'd never held a gun before, she'd never had the need. But, something told her that one day, she would, whether it was to indulge in her sin fully and do all the things she imagined herself doing, or, to wash it all away. Maybe both. This one though, was just as sodden and wet as the ammo.

She heard another one of the boards come off from the door and turned to John ducking through.

Her stomach did a bit of somersault inside as he looked at her, he was almost as drenched as she was now, his jeans sticking to him and the bottom of his shirt dripping wet. Hell, she had to look away, compose herself for a minute and remind herself that the guy scared her a little, she turned back to him as he was looking over the work tables,

"You said I had a few days" she said eventually. He turned to her and she passed him over the gun,

"You do" he said as he opened the chamber and shook it, watching the gun powder drip out from the bullets that had rotted inside, "I'm here for your father", Laurie looked away from him then, hoping he hadn't caught the worried look that she knew had crossed her face,

"Good luck with that one" Laurie said quietly. She kneeled-down next to the safe, crouching so she wasn't sat in the water and turned the dial, wondering if the code to it would be anywhere close. One of Ads XBOX games had told her that codes and pins were usually within twenty-metres of their lock.

"0108" John said as he turned around, ducking under the wooden planks again and back to the other side. Laurie turned the dial, 0 1 0 8, and it clicked open. She turned back, to ask him how he knew, but he was already gone. She opened it up, finding a couple wads of dry cash, a couple more black casings, and a bag of what looked like weed. She stuffed it in her pocket just as Tom ducked through awkwardly, almost falling face first in to the water as he ended up in a crawl,

"He looks good wet, doesn't he" Tom said as he waded over,

"You're insufferable" Laurie said as she picked up the money and stood up,

"I think we should go buy me a bee-keepers outfit with that",

"No, I think I need pizza" Laurie said.

John left the twins to their bunker and walked back to the house, to where Jackie was trying her hardest to reach something on the top of the cupboards and Frank was sat at the table near the window, reading a book. His brothers book. He looked up eagerly as John walked in, only for his face to dampen as he saw how wet he was,

"Oh John, I'm so sorry" he said quickly, "You wouldn't think those children of mine were adults the way they act", Jackie looked over, a gliny in her eye as she took him in,

"It's no problem" John said, he walked over to look out the window, "Frank. Are you ready" he asked after a moment,

"What" Frank asked, confused,

"Are you ready to confess" John turned to him,

"But you haven't finished with Laurie yet, ha-",

"That's between me and her" John said, he smiled, "We'll finish that off, but now, it's your turn". Frank was taken-a-back for a moment, but quickly, he pulled himself back and smiled.

"Of course it is" Frank said, "Shall we go".

* * *

"So, are you ready to bare your soul. Confess your sins" John asked as he sat down opposite Frank. He'd swapped sides, sitting in the chair Laurie had sat in. Perhaps he could see more of the man she did that way.

"I am". He looked over at the smaller table next to them, a small case sat on top of it,

"Well, I'm waiting" John said, he leaned over the table, resting his chin on his hands, a smirk on his face as Frank looked over at him warily, he chuckled before he began,

"Where do I begin. Huh" he looked to the door he'd come through and then looked back at John who still hadn't said anything more. Still waiting. "I've done many a things in my life" Frank said, composing himself as he sat back in the chair, crossing his leg over his knee, "I've saved lives" he shrugged, "But", he tilted his head from one side to the other, as if he was weighing it all up, "I've also done things I'm not truly proud off. But, they were never without reason" he sat up more, John bit the inside of his cheek as he leaned back, still listening, his face still the attentive smirk, "The world, it tried to destroy me and I would not let it. Even my own family tried. My wife, you've seen the way she is. She salivates over men like wolves to meat. My daughter, my only daughter" it sounded so heart-felt it may have convinced another man, "Left me to burn" John turned his head slightly, "She didn't tell you that did she" Frank said, he sighed, shaking his head, "The world, my family, it dragged me through hell, but I came out. I was stronger than it, than the world. And I had to take a stand. My methods. Maybe they weren't the right way to go about things, but it worked. Fear is powerful, and I needed it. I need-"

"Stop. I know what your sin is" John said, he leaned forward, looking stomach-turningly happy with himself,

"What" Frank asked, confused, "Everything I've done has been to protect myself, to protect my family from themselves",

"Pride"

"No, it's not-"

"It is. You're so full of pride, you forgot your duties as a husband, as a father" John said, he also couldn't be bother to listen to anymore of his bullshit, "To atone, you will bear the mark" he stood up and walked to the small table, brushing his fingers over the case, "You will see what pride does to the people around you, and you will not raise a voice, or a fist, to your family again" he opened it up delicately, picking out the tattoo gun and stroking it with his thumb, he looked over to Frank, smiling, "Only then may you march with us unto Eden",

"I think you're wrong" Frank said,

"That's the pride talking", he took out a cloth from his back pocket,

"I don't",

"Don't make this any harder Frank" John pulled out a bottle of green liquid, if he had to listen to people confess all the time, he had to find some enjoyment in it, "The hardest part is accepting it".

 _Thanks to anyone who's read this far and the review VickQueen! It's always nice to know that people want more!_


	8. Consumption

Chapter Eight – Consumption

Frank had been at Johns ranch for no more than an hour when he returned home. His pride was wounded and his mind bitter as he shut the door of his bedroom on his family. His sins, out of them all, he believed, had been justified, but still, John had branded his chest with the word Pride.

It was not pride that had made them do those things, it was a will to survive, to better himself and the people he loved.

Even with the hit of bliss to keep him there, he'd felt every letter being carved in to his skin, every dig of a finger as John held his shoulder so he would be still. John was wrong. His sin was not pride. It couldn't be.

Randall, who had brought the brooding father back was now indulging himself in the sins of Jackie – if only to make her feel better for when John would look straight through her, as if she wasn't even there.

The woman was nearing fifty, but Randall acknowledged that everything seemed to be in perfect shape, in perfect condition. If he wasn't trying to atone for his own mistakes, he might have taken up her silent 'little' playful offer she'd gestured to as soon as they'd turned the corner from her home. She was the spitting image of her daughter - if you didn't count the fact that her hair was a brittle blonde and Laurie had a head full of wavy brown, like her brother - but Jackie was more pristine. Laurie had this rough look about her, as if she was about ready to get down and dirty with the world, whilst Jackie was one of those cougars that might cry if she broke a nail, but, right now, she was ready to fall at his feet.

What the hell had her husband done to make her look at other men with such ferocity. It wasn't as if he was an ugly man, he was old, but he had that silver-fox thing about him. He shrugged the thoughts away as they arrived. That was their business at the end of the day. In no way did he envy the job John had.

Listening to people's sins. Listening to all the terrible things they'd done. All the terrible things they'd thought. How could one man deal with all of that? For Johns sake, he hoped that God had a hand, because, how much could you take before it consumed you.

* * *

"Where do I start" Jackie said, her voice light, she looked down, interlocking her hands as she rested them on her knees, "I have so many" her voice was quiet, but the silence of the ranch gave her nothing to hide in. "I… I've always wanted, an easy life… And…". She wondered then, how much Laurie had told him. She hadn't spoken to her about it, she hadn't wanted too, and her and Tom had spent most of the day emptying out the bunker of water. And Frank. He'd not talked at all. Just this brooding look of hatred on his face before he'd disappeared in to their room. She, like her daughter, had realised that her husband did not like John, but she was sure it was down to jealousy than having any real reason.

"I did horrible things" was that enough she wondered, to admit just that, she looked up slowly, finding John leaning back, his arms crossed, this attentive look on his face as he waited. Still, something told her it wasn't. "I…" but she couldn't, not just yet. She pouted and looked up at him, "I lusted over other men when he looked at other women" she shrugged, as if it was something everyone did, "I never wanted a family, I wanted a simple life" she scoffed at herself, "And then he came along, dashing and handsome and strong and rugged, and… and then the twins came. I know he doesn't think they're his, but they are. The other men didn't start until after them. Until after he accused me enough of it" the spite came in to her voice then, but it soon simmered down.

Frank had told her first about this place; about a place where they could free themselves from the things they'd done and be a family again. And, Jackie had liked the idea of that, and, if anything, she was gonna give it ago. Although, if Frank did change his mind, she couldn't promise that she wouldn't follow him home. Like a dog.

"The fire happened, I assume you know about that now" John nodded, he knew of it, but he hadn't pressed the matter with Frank; he didn't feel the want to listen to him manipulate the story in to something he thought real. "I watched from the outside, I heard him calling Laurie's name, for her to go back to him, and I wished. I wished he would burn. He was stuck, and I knew that, and he was calling our daughter… Our precious daughter, in to the flame and she was terrified. It was as if he felt he deserved it. He never forgave her for that. He convinced himself it was her that started it, that she wanted to kill him", tears wet her eyes, "The night he came home from the hospital, he beat her, and I… I let him do it". John sucked a quiet breath in and put his head back, his eyes still watching, Frank had never told him that.

But then, neither had Laurie.

There felt as if there was a pit in Johns stomach. Laurie said she was ten when she got between her mother and father, and, if anything, this scenario sounded as if it had happened before. Could a man really be that selfish.

They could, and John knew that first-hand.

"I was the one that started the fire" John looked back at her, and she shook her head, her eye's closed as if she couldn't take the intense glare as he ground his teeth together, he'd already had enough, his patience with everything else was waning as it was, "Not on purpose – I love my children, I do, but it happened, and I thought I'd lose them all. Part of me, for just a moment, wished I could, that I could start a new, with a new husband, a new family, and then it made me feel sick and I screamed, and I cried, and then my family started to fall apart, and I couldn't…

I fell in to the hole then, in to a hole that could only be filled by men. The urges, they've always been there, they never go away; young, old, fat, slim. I'd fuck anything with legs as long as it wasn't him", Jackie reached over desperately and touched John's knee under the table. He sighed, a smile on his lips as he stood up. She found it so easy to run to the one thing that had never abused her, something she felt like she had complete control over, but, it wasn't something John would indulge her in.

"Will you atone" he asked,

"Yes, but before I do, just give me this once more" she said, turning to stand, but John held a finger up, stopping her,

"No" John said, he turned to the case on the small table,

"It's because you've already had her, isn't it" Jackie said spitefully, John raised his brow, such spite,

"I've had my fill of lust, it loses it's... luster" John assured her as he opened the case,

"I'm sure you have some left for me" Jackie said, crossing her leg over her knee. John could see it now, he could see how men would fall at her feet, how they would rip her clothes off, but he was not one of those men. Not anymore. Jackie went to stand up, but John gestured her to sit again,

"Sit. Let's get this over with" he picked up the tattoo pen and looked at her,

"What" Jackie squeaked, the sight of it making her grow pale,

"Let's not make this any harder than it needs to be" John said, turning it on.

* * *

"Man, I've done a lot of shit. I've whored myself. I've abused myself. I've overdosed who the fuck knows how many times. I've robbed people blind for drug money. I've slept with old ladies just to get a hit. I let my father beat my sister because I was too much of a coward to stop him, to stop myself from using. I left her all on her own in the world and it ran her down. My own twin. I know she hates me. I did that to her. I betrayed her. But… You know the worst thing. The thing that hurts the most, even though she does it so it doesn't. It's that she hides it. She hides it so well, but" he seethed, "I feel like she's ticking. Like there'll be something that pushes her over the edge and she'll blow.

"And it will be all my fault. All our fault", they were words he'd never thought he'd say out loud tumbling from his head, "And she's so patient as well. She puts up with so much shit. But I see it in her eyes. I see that she hates me. And I feel terrible because she has every reason too. But then, she loves me as well, she'd do anything for me, but I wouldn't do it for her. It's a dog eat dog world, and I know she'd eat me alive", Tom sighed and put his head down, "Greed is my sin. I don't even need you to tell me".

And John agreed, and silently, Tom took of his t-shirt, showing the scarred flesh where he'd injected himself so many times before. A tattoo of some naked woman on his chest. Tom had tried to be better. He'd stopped the drugs. He'd got clean. But, his edge was just as sharp as Laurie's.

John sent Tom home, and, after convincing Randall that he wanted to walk and that he could safely outrun any wolverine that would cross his path, he walked through the fields, passing by the green houses they'd explored the day before. Old him would have went and sat inside of them, getting high off whatever the cult had cooked up but, he knew that it would consume him, and eventually, he would be right back where he started.

And, he couldn't have that. Not again.

Back at the ranch, Joseph arrived just as John collapsed on to the couch. It had been a long day, and still, he had to get back to Laurie in the morning. Maybe he'd keep to his promise and give her an extra day. Frank was such a monster, he'd expected worse, he'd thought that the family would be unsalvageable, ran by a man with such pride and greed, but they were durable. Tim, Laurie, Ads – even though he'd not had the boy's confession yet, they were the product of fear and hopelessness, but they'd turned out different to him and his own brothers. Their family was still one, still united; but he didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

And, the whole fact that it all fell back to Laurie. Whether it was blame or pity. It made him wonder if she truly did have more of a reason to hate them all than she even admitted.

"The old are never as willing as the young" John said as he once again put his head back on the couch, closing his eyes as Joseph walked around the back of it,

"The old are too full of pride to see their wrongs" Joseph said, "The young have a want for life, a willingness to follow",

"Like lambs to slaughter".


	9. Wrath

Chapter Nine - Wrath

John walked around the room, a thought on the tip of his tongue that he was turning over in his head, as if he wasn't sure whether he should bring it up or not. Having it out there in the open would be easier, making her say it would make it easier for her to let go, but she hadn't told him for a reason, she'd left it out and, he wasn't sure if they should indulge in it, in something her father spoke about with such spite and her mother spoke of with such sadness.

Laurie picked at her finger nails, trying to make herself not feel so nervous. The room they were in was the same as before, except, this time, the case was open and she could see the tattoo pen and the cloth, the vial of bliss. John had given her those extra days like he'd promised, but it had just made her feel worse.

"Have you anything more to confess to" John said as he stopped in front of her, his hand resting on his chair,

"Um" she sat back, "I…", from what she could remember that night, she'd poured her heart out. There weren't many more secrets inside anymore, or secrets that mattered anyway.

"When you were younger" John looked at the case on the table, stroking the pen with his thumb before looking to her, "There was a fire" he felt the air change then, the tension as she took a deep breath in, "You're father said" before he'd even finished the sentence, he wished he'd never started it, but it was too late to turn back now, and he could feel the rage building, a panic, a betrayal "That you left him to die".

Laurie spat the words out at him, "I was nine. I was nine, and he called me in to a fucking inferno" she stood up, her body shaking as John put his hands up, gesturing her to calm down, "Would you have gone in to it? For a man you were already a little scared of anyway", John looked down at the floor as she turned away from him, walking over to the mounted wolfs head.

When she was nine, she hadn't thought that. She'd been scared more than anything. That night though, it was a blur; all she could remember of it was her father calling her to help, and this immense feeling of horror, of the smoke trying to engulf her; she'd been terrified, and she'd run away. She'd run away. And, her father had hated her for it. She'd been scared, that's all it was. Nine-year-old her didn't want to die.

She turned back to John,

"I was scared. I loved him, but I couldn't pull myself to go back" she took a deep breath, it was starting to build again, the pain, the fear, the regret. She grabbed on to the wolf's muzzle, her fingers nuzzling the fur before she pulled at it, yanking it from the wall.

She hated herself for that, for not going back, for not listening to him. If she had, maybe he wouldn't have done all those things, maybe he wouldn't have been the man he was now. She fell to her knee's, a sob escaping as she reached for the wolf, running her fingers through its fur.

"Don't blame yourself for something you should never have been asked of" Joseph voice echoed from behind John. John straightened up, he hadn't heard his brother come in. Laurie looked over as he knelt in front of her, "You have confessed your sins, and, you will reach atonement my child" he leaned his head on hers and she closed her eyes, "Your willingness will be your salvation". He put his hand on the back of her head and pressed his lips to her forehead before standing up, putting a hand on Johns shoulder before nodding his head and walking away.

Once he was gone, like some sort of angel that just disappeared in to a haze of nothingness, John picked her up off the floor. He rested the back of his hand on her cheek,

"You've reached the next stage little sheep" he said, Laurie nodded her head, but the rage, it was still there, the sadness. Wasn't it supposed to lift once you'd confessed? Wasn't it supposed to be easier then?

Laurie had seen her father's tattoo, her mothers, her brothers. Her brother hadn't complained about the pain, probably still in a bliss-induced coma, but her parents had cried about it. They'd said that, despite the bliss, they'd felt every bit of it. She'd had tattoo's before, hell, her whole leg was covered in the things. She knew what it felt like, but this one, it was supposed to hurt, you were supposed to feel it.

And, was that the pain that pushed it out? Or the whole ripping it off bit?

"Sit" John said, gesturing back to her chair. Laurie sat, putting her hands on the table and taking a deep breath, "I believe your sin is wrath" John said, he sat,

"And how do you atone for something like that" Laurie asked, she looked up at him. Laurie leaned back in her chair then, a flit of calm washing over her as she tried not to laugh manically, like one of those crazy villains that's just tried to take over the world, "You know, sometimes, it's fine" she shrugged, "Sometimes, we're so normal, it scares me. As if the past never happened, as if the whole world is our oyster and together, we can take it all on" she scoffed, "And then sometimes, sometimes, I actually…" she swallowed back a sudden sob and put her hand on her head, "I imagine myself killing him, and fuck it, I might not even care if I did" the sob escaped anyway, but she choked back the next one. Why hadn't she just stopped talking? She pushed away from the table, making it jump as she stood up, heading for the door to the outside.

She didn't want to kill him. She didn't want any of them to die. Ever. But, why had she said it for. Was it just the moment? Was it John?

"Confession brings out the worst in people, but it allows you to be free", John said from behind her, "From sin, from the confinement",

"I just told you I wanted..." she couldn't say it, not again, "Are you trying to tell me that's okay" she turned to him, "Do you not realise that I'd already got over it. I didn't feel like that before I told you all that stuff. I'd made my peace, I…",

"You hadn't" John said, "You thought you had",

"How do you cut out something like that" Laurie asked helplessly, "How can I just keep forgiving them, every fucking time. Why should I? Why me? Why did he have to come home and beat me every fucking time? What the fuck did I do?", she felt selfish, even now. She was a grown-up, but still, it felt like he controlled her life. And even if part of her said it was okay to feel that way, she still hated it. "I feel like I'm gonna tip one day, that it'll be something petty that pushes me over the edge. And I… I don't want it to happen".

Laurie looked out over the valley she now lived in. She hadn't really realised how serene and peaceful everything was.

"We can help you" John said, he sounded so sure, "We'll get you your balance back", he put his hand on her shoulder, "All you have to say is yes",

"Yes" Laurie breathed out, she turned to him, "I need…", she looked at him for a minute, only realising then how blue his eyes were. They weren't just some average blue, like the sky; they were a deep, glistening sort of blue, like the depths of an ocean, but deep inside, they were hazed, shadowed by something she didn't know if she could ever really deal with. But, still, she got lost in them, and it was only when John looked away that she came back to her senses. She looked back to the valley. "Yes".

* * *

 _Thanks for the follows/favourites and the reviews! It honestly, like, warms my heart and makes all the nerves go away when you say your'e enjoying it just as much as me!_


	10. Resistance

Chapter Ten – Resistance

Having the itch to keep the bee's in order, Tom roped Laurie in to going with him to Falls End. It was their first full weekend in the county, and, leaving Ads and their mum, and their dad - wherever the hell he was - they jumped in the car and went on their way.

It had been a couple days since Laurie had said Yes to John, and a couple days since she'd seen him. He'd given her the tattoo – which hadn't hurt as much as she thought it would, whether he was being gentle, or her parents were being overdramatic, or she felt enough pain everywhere else not to notice, she didn't know – and then he'd had Randy take her home. Still, she didn't know how to feel about any of it. She knew what she'd said to him, she knew it felt better having it all out there in the open, but now; now she needed to distract herself. She needed things to do, and Falls End sounded like a nice distraction. Even Randy had said it was pretty little place.

It was a quiet town, had a few people milling around, gardening, sitting outside their houses in rocking chairs, a garage with some people under a truck, a nice church, a bar – which they weren't sure was open or not - a shop, which Tom parked outside of, and some nice little American houses that were painted blue and purple and white.

"Did John tell you anything about this place" Tom asked as he opened his door,

"No" Laurie said, "He doesn't tell me anything really" she admitted,

"Well, Joseph told me we should stay on our guard" Tom said, Laurie glanced over at him, when had he seen Joseph and she'd not, "There's a bit of resistance to the project here, from what I can gather" he got out of the truck,

"For the sake of it, hide that thing then" Laurie said, gesturing to the bits of tattoo sticking out from over his tank and throwing his jumper out the window at him. Tom sighed,

"Is there any point hiding it though" he put it on, he was sure wearing a jumper in this heat would cause more of a look than his tattoo would, "I don't think John would approve of us hiding our sins",

"Johns not here" Laurie said as she got out, zipping up her jacket, "And, probably best not to bring any unwanted attention, right" she suggested as she walked past him, looking up at the bar. There looked like there was a light on inside, maybe even people, but there was no music, no 'barriness',

"You want anything" Tom asked,

"Chocolate" Laurie said, she sighed, "Loads of chocolate",

"Of course you do". Tom disappeared in to the shop.

Laurie walked on the path, passing by the two greased-up men who now had their heads stuck in the bonnet of the truck, one of them which looked over and smiled. Laurie nodded at him, he looked familiar, but she couldn't place him - he had the whole beard and man-bun though, so, maybe he just looked like everyone else around here.

She crossed the road near to the church. It was a quaint little thing, a proper countryside chapel sort of look to it. It didn't have any signs of being a part of the project though.

"How much of the congregation do you think moved over to the peggies" Tom said as he stood next to her holding a bee keepers helmet – it had been the only piece the shop had,

"You know your kind of one too now, right" Laurie reminded him as she walked more towards the church, to read what it said on the billboard out front. Instead, the door opened and out stepped an African-American man dressed all in black. He held a bible in one hand and a rifle in the other. Laurie took a few tentative steps back; the way they carried guns around like hand bags still put her a little on edge.

"Welcome to Falls End" the man said, "Names Pastor Jerome, but I don't think I know yours",

"We just moved in" Tom said, he gestured back the way they came with his head, "At the Laurels place" he added,

"Move out, there ain't nothing here, but death" the Pastor said. Tom and Laurie looked at each other, they were just about to follow the orders, to an extent, when, "Wait, you're a part of that British family aren't you" the Pastor walked down the steps. A couple more people had wandered over to them now, listening in; how was it that everyone knew who they were?

"Uh. Yeah" Tom said,

"Then, it's even more important that you get out now" the Pastor said, "Those people at Eden's Gate will tear your family apart from beneath your feet. They'll mark you, they'll trial you, they'll pilfer your lives, all you owe and will make you walk the path of death if you don't get out before it's too late",

"Thanks for the advice" Laurie said, she zipped up her jacket some more,

"You have no ties here. Don't get caught up in something that not's your fight",

"Come on Laur" Tom said quietly, taking her wrist and pulling her backwards gently,

"If you ever need anything, you know where we are. We won't stand for this treachery".

"Thanks, thanks" Tom saluted the man, and the two of them headed for the car, half running, half walking, passed the people who had gathered around them, including the greasy man-bun guy.

"What was that" Laurie said eventually, looking back as Falls End faded in to the distance,

"The resistance" Tom shrugged, he pulled out a bar of chocolate from his pocket and passed it over to her, she sighed,

"He seemed pretty convince you know, all preachy and shit" she opened the wrapper,

"Some people just don't wanna be saved" Tom said, he breathed in through his teeth and looked over to her,

"Or maybe the _way_ their saving people is the problem" Laurie shrugged,

"Their not taking anyone against their will. People follow them cause they want to" Tom said matter-of-factly,

"How do we know that though" Laurie asked. Sure, they came here for it, but, did everyone say yes as easily as they did? John had already told her that some people needed a bit more convincing than others - and he'd mentioned pulling finger nails. She shivered at the thought.

"We don't, but when the collapse comes and their still alive cause they were, they'll be thankful". It irked her how much he sounded like Joseph in that moment. She hadn't seen him a lot, only a couple of times, and she was sure Tom had seen him even less, but, maybe she was wrong, because, here he was: a believer in something she always thought he would critical of. The weed had always made him a deep-thinker.

"Do you believe it" Laurie asked, "About the collapse", she didn't know if she did just yet,

"I do" Tom told her, "I really do. I don't know when, but I agree with Joseph. Something is coming... Fuck. It has to" The world had gone to shit, the governments were at each other's throats. It wouldn't be long until one of them squeezed too hard. "And I want us to get through it" he took a deep breath, "As a family" he added,

"Me too" Laurie said quietly.

The drive home was quiet, and it gave Laurie time to think, to wonder how Edens Gate was going to help balance her back out. She hadn't spoken to anyone about what they'd talked about, her father had tried, but she'd cut him off; she told him to deal with his own before he tried to deal with anyone else's.

The 'balance' she'd had before had consisted of control; of telling herself that it was okay, of screaming when no one was around, and then, going back, all sarcastic and obnoxious because it was the only way she could relay it in to something that she could deal with. And that was much better than punching someone.

Or worse.

Tom parked up outside the house next to a truck. It was black with the Edens Gates symbol painted on the bonnet and the drivers door in white. It wasn't slopped on in red like the others.

"I think your boyfriends here" Tom said, handing her another bar of chocolate that he'd pulled from his pocket without looking at her,

"Yay" Laurie said, taking a bite as Tom pushed open the front door. Frank and John were stood in the kitchen, John eating an apple and their father all smiles,

"See, come to pilfer all our food" Tom said, walking passed them, proudly holding his bee-keeper hat. Laurie looked from them to him and smiled before going to walk pass them as well, but she saw John put his arm out, his fingers silently clicking at her as he swallowed back his mouthful of apple, she turned on her heel to look at them,

"I have ask of you" John said,

"You know how to ask" Laurie said sarcastically, making John smile and take another bite of the apple. Laurie raised her brow.

The guy made eating an apple look kinda sexy.

John gestured his head for her to follow him, and Frank walked away from them, he had that look of tasting something foul on his face as he looked at Laurie, but, she ignored it and followed John out, Tom throwing another chocolate bar at her head.

Laurie followed John in to the truck, and it was only after John had finished his apple did he say anything,

"You been exploring the town" John asked, his eyes staying on the road,

"Yeah, saw some nice folk, got lovely things to say about you Seeds",

"Good to hear" Laurie looked over at him, narrowing her eyes,

"Are you being sarcastic", he didn't reply, he just kept driving, the hints of a smirk on his face which he clicked away with his tongue. Laurie sighed and turned back to the road, "Where are we headed",

"We heard over the coms about a prepper stash" John said,

"What's that" Laurie said, sitting up in her seat,

"Where you stash things in preparation" he said, he turned a corner,

"Smart arse" Laurie muttered, John smiled and he glanced over as she sat back, "Why do you need me for"

"We want you to get in to it",

"Why" Laurie said, turning to him,

"You like to figure things out" John suggested, "And people don't just leave prepper stashes on their doorsteps",

"What would they even have in a prepper stash" Laurie asked,

"Guns, money, ammo" John said, "All the things we need",

"But they're not yours. Right" Laurie said,

"No, but with us, they can't be used against us, can they" John said,

"So, you want me to steal" Laurie said, she sighed and looked out her window, "And here's me thinking you wanted me to atone for my sins",

"You ever stole anything before" John asked,

"I stole a guys heart once" Laurie said, smiling at the memory, thinking it was perhaps a tad lighter than stealing a tenner from her mums purse for Tom to get weed, and she'd paid her back and she'd never noticed, so, really, she'd only borrowed it.

"And how did that work out", Laurie did a half smile, her eyes showing some sort of hurt as John glanced over at her,

"Well, I'm here, so obviously not very well" Laurie said. Laurie sighed and rested her chin on the back of her hand as she looked outside. After a moment, she looked over to John, smiling again, "Ever stole anyone's heart before John"; John smirked,

"I much prefer souls". Laurie smiled. Of course, he did. "This here is Sunrise Threshing" John said as they pulled over at some sort of garage, an open stable sort of thing and a couple of grain silos. Randy, crazy hair guy and another guy with a quiff like Elvis were already there, staring at the garage door.

"We're thinking we could blow it open" Randy said as they came towards them, "But, might cause a bit of a scene",

"No way" crazy haired guy said, "We ain't 'urtin the truck",

"No explosives" John said. He watched as Laurie looked around, looking up to some cable and then to the two grain silo's. Her train of thought was lost as Johns radio made a noise,

"John, we have a situation at the grain elevator" he picked it up,

"Sort it then", Laurie looked over at him as he turned away, the radio up by his ear,

"We thinkin' it best you do boss" the guy replied. John sighed and then turned back to the others.

"Find a way in. No explosives" John reminded him, he nodded at the men and then turned back to his truck, "Take Laurie home when you're done" he said, putting his hand up as he got back in.

"I really don't know how to take him half the time". A younger her might have been annoyed that he'd not actually acknowledged her in his goodbyes, but, he was so complicated in his ways, Laurie was starting to wonder if John knew what he was doing half the time.

"He's not that bad when you get to know him. He's quite reasonable really" Randy said, he folded his arms and nudged her, "Now, find us a way in little sheep" he whispered. Laurie blew out a breath. She stood there, thinking, and then, she looked back to that cable joining the garage and the silo.

It was only as crazy-haired guy stood next to her that she realised who he was - the greasy guy with the man-bun,

"You're the guy from the garage" she said, he looked over at her and smiled,

"I am" he smiled and then held up the rifle he had, holding it close to his chest as he turned back around. So that was how John had known they'd been on a little field trip.

Rounding the two silo's, Laurie spotted a ladder up to the first on top of the small shed that sat next to it.

If she jumped enough, she might be able to grab on to the roof of said shed, pull herself up, and then climb up the ladder to one silo and then get to the other.

And then, proceed to shimmy herself down what could be a live wire and then plop herself in to the fenced area - which had lovely spiked wire all around it - and hope there was a way in, and a way out.

Laurie looked back at the three men, all of them standing there, awaiting her ingenious plan. Without any words, she went over and reached for the lowest point of the roof, the tips of her fingers only brushing against it as she stood. With a deep breath, she jumped, grabbing on to the ledge and pulling herself up, continuously telling herself not to fall and make a fool of herself, before throwing her leg over and rolling on to the roof, her arms already aching from the use of the upper body strength she didn't have.

"You watching the clouds little sheep" she heard Randy say. Laurie pushed herself up, watching as Randy pulled himself up. Laurie stood as he got to his feet and then climbed the ladder to the top of the silo. Randy followed, still not sure of the plan yet. At the top of the silo, a plank of wood served as a bridge over to the second.

"We're up high little sheep" Randy said as he watched her put a foot on it, it wobbled slightly,

"You afraid of heights" Laurie asked, moving her feet over the board to find it's balance,

"Nope" Randy said,

"I am" Laurie ran across the plank quickly, grabbing on to the top of the other silo so she could catch her breath, a small surge of adrenalin reminding her that she was still alive.

"Fear makes you weak" Randy said as he took a few steps towards it himself.

"Without fear, you can't be strong" Laurie said. She shook herself and then looked up at the cable. Randy scoffed and then went to walk across the plank, but it slipped, and so did he. He was airborne for a couple seconds, but he managed to grab on to the edge of the first silo.

"Shit, are you okay" Laurie said, she leaned back, crouching down,

"Yeah" Randy said as he dragged himself over the edge, "Yup" he repeated, sitting himself down on the silo's roof, "I hope you had a plan" he looked down at the board and then back at her, a heave in his chest. Laurie looked towards the cable, and Randy did too, getting the jist before even she did, "Smart girl" he said,

"I don't know if I could shimmy that though",

"Zip it then",

"Zip it" Laurie asked,

"Use it as a zip line" he stood, taking his hand-gun out from the band of his cargo pants and tossing it over to her. She caught it; barely, and then looked at it before looking back at him, "Zip it" he said again. Laurie looked at the cable, and then the gun, and then the cable again. Would it even hold her weight? "Go on" Randy said, "We'll catch yuh if you fall" the other two men were now below them, looking up,

"Okay" Laurie said. She stood there, looking at the gun, running it over in her hands. It wasn't until she saw Randy on the ground beneath her that she looked to the cable. She didn't know how it was supposed to go, but she'd played a video game once - and they'd sort of used the gun as a hook, held on for dear life, and then rid it down as if it was a rollercoaster. She didn't know if she had any more upper body strength to do it. And she wasn't that big a fan of rollercoasters either.

But, if God wanted her dead, this was surely the time to do it.

Hooking the gun on, she took a deep breath, told herself the fall wouldn't kill her and then did a small run and jump. In the first second, she felt her grip falter, but a quick scramble and a burn in her hands made her last until just beyond the fence, falling on to the wooden wagon sat inside, twisting herself so she didn't smack face first in to it.

She lay there a minute, waiting for some excruciating pain or shock, but other than her insides feeling a little shook, all she felt was a thump in her chest that she wasn't sure was ever going to go away, and then, she could hear Randy calling her from the other side of the gate,

"You alright in there" he asked,

"Yeah" Laurie said eventually, "Yeah", she pushed herself up, taking a deep breath as she looked around, seeing the padlock that kept the gate attached. She slid off the trailer and circled it, trying to see if there was some sort of way to get out by standing on top of it, but instead, she noticed the hatch underneath it.

"There's a lock" Laurie said to him, "I won't be able to get it open",

"Shoot it" she heard one of the other men say,

"I ain't never shot a gun before" Laurie said, "We don't need-em where we come from",

"Aim it and pull the trigger, easy" he said back. Laurie wasn't sure it was that easy.

"Okay" she said, but hell, it was the only way she'd be able to get out. Laurie held the gun up, aiming down the sights - or at least what she thought was the sights - at the lock. "Could you not give me some metal clippers or something",

"Shoot it" Randy said, slightly irritated. Laurie held the gun away from her, almost a little scared to look – which obviously meant the first bullet missed completely. It made her whole body shake with the force, her throat clenching as she took a step back. "Relax" Randy said. She took a deep breath, relaxed her shoulders and then shot a second time, aiming slightly higher and the bullet smashed in to the lock. It didn't fall apart like she'd expected it to, but the lock was damaged and she was able to pull it free, letting the gate fall forward.

"Well done, you shot a gun" Randy said mockingly as Laurie passed him it back.

"We need to move it" she said as Randy put the gun back in his pants, Randy looked over, confused until he saw her looking to the trailer,

"Why"

"Cause there's something underneath", she nodded at the hatch as Randy crouched down,

"Get the truck, we'll attach it, pull it out" he said. Crazy haired guy nodded and in a couple minutes, the wagon had been moved and Randy had opened the door in to the ground. It was almost like the bunker back at the house, except, there was a light at the end of the darkened descent,

"Hello" she said down it,

"Anyone home" Randy asked after. The dead silence that came back to them told them all they needed to know, "Guess not". After a moment of looking down some more, Laurie descended the ladder, Randy waiting until she was at the bottom to follow. Inside, it was quite cosy, almost like some sort of man cave with a few shelves, a couch, a tv that was still on, relaying static, pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn across the floor. It looked like someone had left in a hurry. Randy gathered up some things as they walked through, but Laurie was going for the other set of ladders on the other side. She climbed up, leaving Randy to go through some sort of loot box and emerged in to the garage.

Inside, a lonely light in the middle of the ceiling flickered on, showing off the big grey truck with an eagle painted on it. It looked like one of those monster trucks you'd see on the tv,

"So that's why he didn't want us to blow the door" Randy said as he pushed himself up from the hatch, "Damn. Dunagan really was holding out on us",

"Do I wanna know what happened to him" Laurie said as she opened the drivers door,

"He was dealt with" Randy said as he pushed the door closed and gestured for her to get in the other side.

* * *

 _Thanks to the people who've followed/favorited! And anyone else who is reading! It just motivates me that little bit more to keep going!_

 _Doing prepper stashes in-game is one of my favourite things, and I knew I had to include them somehow! And, considering how intense some of them get, what better way to atone by risking your life to get guns and cool-ass trucks?_


	11. Something is Coming

Chapter Eleven – Something is coming

"That man will lead you astray" Frank said to Laurie as she walked in.

Randy had told her that he was gonna take the truck straight back to John, but the smirk on his face had given him away. He was gonna run it a bit ragged, and then, take it straight to John.

"Which one" Laurie said as she leaned back on the kitchen counter, picking at the left-over chicken they'd had without her, "The bald one or you're new 'fathers' brother",

"Is everything a joke to you" Frank spat,

"No dad, it's not, but, that man is trying to save us from our sins" she didn't sound too convinced herself, but she didn't think her father noticed anyway,

"That man is wrong" he said bluntly,

"Why, because your sin could not possibly be pride" Laurie asked, she shrugged her shoulders, "Because you're far too good a man to have such a sin". That was it, he was just bitter.

"It's not" Frank said,

"Accept it dad" Laurie told him, "Accept it and it'll be easier". Accept that for once, he, himself was wrong, and somebody else was right. Laurie could see him forming some sort of response in his head, but she left him, finding her way outside to where Tom and Ads were sat in the bunker, looking over plans they'd made up to make it at least habitable again. She expected Ads to moan at her, but he was getting in to it. There were only so many hours you could spend staring in to a screen that was smaller than your hand.

After listening to them argue about what colour to paint the walls, which Laurie was very sure there was no need to, she went up and lay in her bed instead, listening to the conversation her parents were having in the other room. The walls were thin, and she heard her father question everything that he believed, mostly about John, a little about the cult. Jackie, she tried to argue back, tried to say that, for once, their children - which should have been the most important thing - had a peace to them, but Frank disagreed. These men, these women, they weren't who they thought they were; Laurie was even sure she heard him call them monsters.

Sure, John was scary as shit, so was Joseph, Jacob. In the end, there was no doubt that they'd go to extreme measures to make sure the project succeeded, but, like her father had said all those months ago; when they'd sat in their old house in the outskirts of the city; something was coming, a collapse, the end of times, the end of the world, and he'd been terrified at the prospect. Almost as terrified as when he thought he would die in that fire. And that, amongst other things, was one of the reasons Laurie had gone with them. She sacrificed her pitiful, but stable life because her father believed in something absurd, and now, now he was bitter from his pride, from his envy, he was ready to turn back. His children were taking control of their lives, like he thought he'd wanted, but it just meant that he lost the control he'd worked so hard for.

But, there was clarity here. Clarity they all needed, and the quicker her father accepted that, the easier it would get. Laurie turned over in bed, wondering if she should ask John, or Joseph, if they had any plans for her dad. Maybe with something to do, something to fix or make himself look good at, he'd spend less time doubting the world they found themselves in. It would make life easier for everyone.

Somewhere in the thoughts she fell asleep, only to wake up to erratic knocking at her door, "What do you want" she said from underneath the covers,

"Randall's here" Tom said, "Taking us to church, come on". Laurie pulled the small alarm clock over to her and looked at the time, it was eight in the morning. The last time she'd looked at the clock, she was sure it had been around six. Laurie sighed, knowing she must have slept through the night and threw the covers off, scrambling around the room to pull on some new clothes. A red plaid shirt and some jeans were the first things she pulled from her small pile of clothes, quickly deciding that they would have to do. She pulled the hair tie out of her hair, ruffled the brown kinks with her hand and re-bunned it as she pushed the door open with her foot. Tom was still in his pyjama pants, watching the tv, and Ads was eating his breakfast,

"Bitch" Laurie muttered, going to the kitchen and pulling a bowl down from the cupboard. Jackie came from her room then, kissing Ads on the top of the head and then scraping her blonde hair back as she came in to the kitchen. She was dressed for church, a grey pencil skirt and a floral blouse buttoned all the way to the top. Maybe she was taking this whole atonement thing seriously.

Or, in some case, maybe more was less. But then, she always did have a knack of looking nice in almost anything.

"I think your hair needs a cut Laurie" Jackie said, twiddling some of the messy bun between her fingers before pulling the drawer open, fishing out some scissors. Laurie pulled her hair out from the bun again and ran her hand through it, pulling out some more knots as she tried to smooth the kinks in it down, "Go on" Jackie said, gesturing her to the sofa, "Sit". Laurie poured some milk in to her cornflakes and sat down on the arm of the couch, the perfect height for her mother to snip at the ends of her hair.

Despite everything, Laurie's hair was something that pulled her and her mum together. It was something she loved to play with, more than men, and, considering Tom kept his short – for this reason exactly – and Ads was savvy to it too, and her own hair was thin and brittle, Lauries was the only one she could do anything with. And, it was one of the memories of her mum that reminded her that, at the end of the day, as much as a small part of her hated her, she loved her far more.

Whenever they'd had a row, or Laurie had argued with her dad, her mum would come in to her room and braid her hair. There was never anything said, never any apologises, but all the envy, or the pride, or the hatred, or the anger, it all fell away for a little while, and, that was enough for the two of them.

Before long though, Randy was honking the horn of his truck outside, beckoning them to him. Frank came out of his room then, suited up in the same suit he'd worn to the ranch; Tom had thrown some jeans and a t-shirt on and Jackie had dressed Ads in shirt and trousers.

Frank had shaken his head at his children, the least they could do was make some sort of an effort. He may have had his 'reservations' as he liked to call them about John, but he still wanted to show Joseph that there were respectable - that they were a family - and, to begin that whole ruse, Frank made a point of Laurie going up front, acting as if he cared as the rest of them jumped in the back.

"Did that truck get back in one piece" Laurie asked, resting her head on the window,

"It did. John was very happy with it" Randy said, "Very impressed too" he nodded his congratulations to her and Laurie scoffed, smiling,

"My pleasure".

They drove by Falls End, passed a fertiliser plant, a grain elevator, and then, they went over the bridge in to Henbane River. None of them had ventured passed Falls End, and it was almost as if the landscape changed completely. The green of the valley was gone, and the white and blue of the river region engrossed them. Beautiful white flowers were splayed all over.

Laurie caught Tom's eye through the window in the back, nodding at a field full of them. It was the same flower that they'd found in those greenhouses. Randy caught them seeking it out,

"Bliss flowers. They cover almost every inch of the land here. Best not get too close though, it's easy to get lost" he said quietly as Laurie looked back to the road, "And, make sure your windows closed or you'll be a tad high by the time we get there" Laurie looked at him stupid and then turned to her family in the back, they were all really quiet, these content looks on their faces as they breathed in the bliss-filled air. Hopefully, it would make her father relax that bit more, give him some sort of clarity as they listened to whatever Joseph had to say.

Henbane river really was a beautiful place, but still, she preferred the valley more.

"I've not met Faith yet" Laurie said, looking to Randy, "I heard Joseph mention her at the ranch, but, he didn't really say much about her other than her being their sister",

"Well, technically, she's not their sister" Randy said, "She's… adopted",

"Huh",

"Yeah, nice girl, bit weird, but, bliss goes to your head if you have to much of it" Randy said.

They passed on to another bridge, coming up against a road with iron fences on each side,

"Where are we going to" Laurie asked, sitting up in her seat as the bliss-infused air widdled out,

"To the church. Fathers calling his flock in" Randy said. Eventually, he turned over to a dirt road, a compound surrounded by metal fences. Like an army base.

Randy stopped at the gates, nodded at the man sat in the hut and he pushed the gate open for them to pass through. Inside, there were small plots of gardens, heaps of white flowers, buildings – convents Randy mentioned – painted white with words she didn't understand painted over them in some sort of fancy lettering, and then, a second fenced compound inside the compound that looked like it had dogs kept inside, and at the end, a church, white, but rustic with the Edens gate symbol above the door.

Crowds of people all intermingled with each other, every race, every colour. It was the most people the family had seen since they'd got off the plane.

"So, you're the girl who got me a new truck to play with" said a guy in a green plaid shirt and khakis who walked over to Laurie and Randy, a jump to his step. He was younger than her, with broad shoulders and the smatterings of a beard on his chin, he looked like one of those American jock sorts. Except, he had his fingers wrapped around a hand-gun, waving it around as if it was a part of his arm.

"Laurie, meet Doms brother, Travis",

"Hi" Laurie said, wondering if Randall knew that she didn't have a clue who Dom was,

"If you ever want to play" Travis winked at her and Randy put his hands on her shoulder, ready to steer here away,

"Now, now Trav" Randy said, "We must atone for our sins",

"Sometimes you have to indulge in them" he nudged Randy's arm with the gun and then smirked as he turned back around to his friends, pointing over as Laurie looked over at Randy.

"He's a nice guy" Randy admitted, "A lot safer than some others", Laurie chuckled, instead, suggesting something more practical,

"I think I'll just stay clear of men all together"

"Might be best little sheep" Randy whispered back. Tom nudged in to her as he went passed, her parents were already near the church, talking with another couple. The three of them walked under some sort of metal canopy, mixing in with the small crowds of people that were gathering. Laurie spotted Ads talking to another kid his own age and watched as he smiled and laughed. It had been a while.

"Who's Dom" Laurie asked as Randy held the church door open for her,

"The one with the crazy hair".

Inside, Joseph was already stood at the front, his arms raised as he welcomed his 'family'. He was shirtless, tattoo's and scarred words covering his body, his sins on show to everyone. They didn't look like tattoo's though, they looked like the words had been etched in to his flesh with a knife. Laurie looked over to her mom, despite all the scars, the older man wasn't something you wouldn't not want to stare at, but Jackie was looking at her feet or keeping her eyes on anything else, but him.

She really was trying.

They sat in one of the middle rows, waiting as the church filled with more people. There were two screens on either side of Joseph, both black with white writing. One said Edens Gate and the other said something about the lamb being the lord of lords and the king of kings, and how those who fight with him would be called the chosen and the faithful.

"The lamb to open the seven seals" Tom said under his breath. A lamb that everyone would believe would bring them the salvation they craved, but would lead them to the 'salvation' God thought they deserved.

Candles were lit behind him, the American flag, the stars replaced by the cults star, an old piano pushed in to a corner and an altar that had the cults bible and a rifle laid across it.

The church started to fill then. Men and women, both Peggie and town folk mixing in with one another. Laurie and Tom were sure they recognised one or two from the small crowd of people that had gathered behind them at Falls End.

"My children" Joseph said, the small chatter amongst them all stopped and he closed his eyes, "Something is coming. You can feel it, can't you" he opened his eyes, stepping forward, "You can feel that we are creeping towards the edge", his voice made the hair on peoples arm prickle and his eyes scanned the room, "And there will be a reckoning" they landed on Laurie, but then glanced away to the rest, she felt Tom take a deep breath next to her, "Now, I know, some of you here doubt. Might call me crazy" he smiled and Laurie glanced over at her father who was staring at him, "You question what we've built here" he gestured to all of them, "But when you wake up in the morning, you see the same news that I do" he walked down the steps, "Do your eyes not fill with horror. This is the world. This" he stopped, taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, "This is the world we have built for our children. Communities being torn apart. Walls being built" he opened his eyes, he pointed at no one in particular "Your leaders too imponent to act. Bullies too addled to lead righteously,

"This is the world we have built for our children. Are you proud of it" he looked back to Laurie and her family, she felt her stomach drop, "Or, do you feel powerless, lost, alone". Small sobs erupted from the crowd, quieted as he put his hands out, as if giving them strength. He closed his eyes again, a sigh of release filling him up, "Because that world" he smiled "Is coming to an end. Everything is coming to an end. You can feel that. I know you can". Everyone was silent now, the sobs forgotten as people wiped them away, the whole world fell quiet in his presence, "The world is hurdling towards its own destruction, and what do we do. Sit idly and wait", it wasn't a question, but some people found it in themselves to shake their heads, and others stayed staring, watching "Not me. I built this project, for you" he gestured to them all, walking backwards, embracing the whole of the church.

"Now, my children, I do not claim to be a perfect man, but, I saw what was coming, and I chose to act. I chose to lead. And, all I ask of you is to trust me" he turned and stepped back up on to the platform, "And in return" he picked up the rifle on the altar before he turned back to them, "I will keep you fed, I will keep you clothed and I will give you purpose" he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, along with the rest of the congregation who acted as if they hadn't breathed the whole time, entranced by the mans words, "But you have to have faith…

The locusts will come my children. The first seal will be opened, and the reaping shall begin" Joseph said, "We must prepare. We must be ready. For when the collapse comes, there will be nowhere to hide from your sins", he was silent a moment, as if he was absorbing all the faces that looked at him, both awed and terrified by his words, "Something is coming. And I will protect you. I am your father, and you, you are my children. And together, we will march to Edens Gate" he raised the rifle, painted with the words of revelation and the Edens Gate symbol.

It took a few moments but, eventually, the crowd came alive again. Laurie felt Tom reach for her hand and squeeze it, his body shaking as he stood up, joining the others who cheered or stood idle like he did. Jackie and Ads stood as well, as did Frank. Laurie stood last. She hadn't been sure about it all at first. But, Joseph was right, whether it came tomorrow, or in a years time, the world was on the brink.

Something was coming, and it wouldn't take any prisoners.

And for once, she felt like the purpose she looked for, that everyone looked for, was finally within reach.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys! And welcome to the new followers of the story! Always nice to see that it's appreciated! And you reviewers too! The comments really, really warm my heart and make me feel all giddy inside! I'm trying really hard to keep everyone in character and do them proud!_

 _Joseph sermon was pieced together from multiple points in the game, and in the promo stuff that Ubisoft gave us, like 'Inside Edens Gate', and the 'Meet the Father' event. I hope I did it some justice, and didn't put too much description in there!_

 _Thanks again guys! Means the world!_


	12. Bridge of Fears

Chapter Twelve – Bridge of Fears

"Laurie, I have need of you" John said as she stood up from the pew, she hadn't even realised he was there. But, of course he was. Ignoring both her fathers little glare and her brothers smirk, she passed by a man who had sat on the edge of their row and walked passed him, whispering,

"I don't think I need you". John smirked, a "Uh huh" leaving his lips as his hand quickly found the nook of her back as he came up close behind her. She sucked in a breath,

"Now, now little sheep. How would you reach atonement without me" he said in to her ear, his mouth just inches away from hers,

"I'd reach it a lot easier" she said, her breath a little tight as he moved his hand away, smirking, "Don't look so proud of yourself" Laurie muttered as they walked out of the church and in to crowds of people outside. There were so many of them. She knew that there had been a few, knew that a good chunk of them had come from Rome, but not this many.

For just a moment, she lost John in the congregation of people, giving herself that little bit of time to compose and tell herself to get over it as she found her way out. She looked around for John, but Travis found her first, waving her over to the small group of people he'd been with earlier. It couldn't hurt, and she could see her crazy haired friend too.

"Laurie, you know my brother" Travis said, crazy-hair nodded, a smug smile on his lips as he looked over her shoulder, "This is Jack" he gestured to a thin guy with the essence of a beard on his chin, like the friend who hit puberty in his twenties, "This is Mika" and then to the first of the two women, brown hair, probably younger than Laurie, not stretching past four-foot one, this sweet, angelical sort of look on her face, and then to the second, an attractive woman, red hair, probably in her thirties, "And this is Holly",

"Hello" Laurie said, still wondering what crazy-hair looked so smug about,

"I can't believe you came all the way from Britain to be here" Mika said, "It's pretty cool and shit, but hell, that's a long way to come",

"Watch your language" the thin man said quietly, making the young girl hmpth. Her brother perhaps.

"She's right though" Holly said, "That is a long way to come", they all looked at her expectantly then, as if she was about to tell them why her and her family had up'd and left, as if they were old friends that hadn't seen each other in forever. That her father had thought they'd never find salvation anywhere else. That Laurie had only come to make sure her father didn't end up beating her son like he had her. Or, because, as much as she hated them, she didn't want to be alone.

But, crazy-hair still had that smug smile and Laurie looked behind her as he cast his eyes to the ground.

John.

"I was wondering where you'd strayed off too" he said quietly, only enough for her to hear as he joined in the circle the group had sort of enveloped Laurie in. Dom stepped away a little, as did the thin man, but the two women stayed put. Mika and her four-foot self looked up at him so lovingly, Laurie thought the girl might faint, but the other, Holly, even if John was still looking to Laurie; she looked at him differently. There was something there. More than just the typical loving gaze for a leader, or 'crush'. "Come on little sheep" John said, snapping her away from the woman who was now looking at the floor, a defeat of some sort etched in to her face.

"John" Travis said, holding his hand up as he took a step forward. John looked to him, a smile on his face, welcoming him to talk, "We have Rae-Rae, should have it all in hand in the next few days",

"Good" John said, he looked to crazy-haired guy, "Might wanna take some pointers from your younger brother Dominic", he raised his brow, sharing a smile with John before he squeezed the mans shoulder, "Get back to work" John told him. He put a hand on Laurie's shoulder and steered her away, moving it when he saw Jacob. She heard him sigh in her ear,

"Joseph wants to see you, brother" Jacob said, sitting himself on a crate as John turned back to the church, a small heave of defeat in his chest as he looked over at Laurie, "Your little sheep will be safe with me, don't worry". Laurie saw John roll his eyes as he turned away without another word, walking back towards the church. "He's a strange creature, my brother" Jacob said, he leaned forward, looking to Laurie who was now looking at him, "Brothers" he re-alliterated. Laurie smiled smally, they surely were.

"Are they easy to figure out, or am I gonna be pulling at strings for the foreseeable future" Laurie asked as she looked back and watched John as he passed through the congregation, a path being open to him almost without thought,

"I'd rather be the one pulling at the strings than the one being pulled at" Jacob said.

 _Great..._

"Anyway, little sheep, I've wondered something since John told me what your sin was" Laurie turned to him, her stomach twisting and he saw it, that small look of horror on her face, maybe even a little betrayal of trust; he held a hand up, "Don't worry, he didn't indulge me on why you came to that decision. I would love to know though" the look on her face told Jacob he wasn't getting any such words from her today, he smiled, "Actually, I was wondering why it is you think a sin such as wrath could be atoned by doing prepper stashes",

"And what would you have me do Jacob. Kill people" Laurie said before she even realised the words were coming from her mouth. But still, she stayed put, staring him in the eye until he smiled, a chuckle on his breath as he leaned back,

"I think you'd enjoy it" he said quietly, more to the air around him than to her. John reappeared then, all calm and composed and happy. Laurie looked over to him, but he was watching Jacob,

"Brother, are you trying to lead my flock astray" he asked,

"I'm sure she'd do that all by herself" Jacob replied as he stood, nodding at the two of them before walking passed, "I'll see you soon little sheep" he said to her. Laurie watched as he left, disappearing in to the crowd of people who were now circling all-around Joseph. They didn't separate for him as much as they had John.

"Laurie" John said, snapping her out of it, she looked back at him, "Are you coming", she nodded her head and they got in to his black truck just down the way.

"What did Joseph want" Laurie asked, John looked over and smiled at her, a smug look on his face,

"Brotherly advice" he replied, Laurie was gonna question it, but he changed the subject, "Did Jacob tell you his philosophies or did he just stick to that cold, icy look he's had going on lately",

"He talked a little" she wasn't sure it was worth questioning John over what he'd said, but still, she wanted to know a little more about it, "What is it he does up there, in the mountains",

"Trains" John said, "Once the collapse comes, we'll need worthy men and women to protect us" he looked from the road, "Why",

"Just wondering" Laurie said,

"Usually, the ones we send up there are so full of rage, they don't know what to do with it" John said, "Isn't that something that appeals to you" John asked, on the off-chance Jacob had been trying to convince her that it was, because he knew what his brother was like,

"Should it" Laurie asked, John smiled,

"Are you sure your sin is wrath Laurie",

"I don't know John, but sometimes, I wanna kill my family" maybe that was a bit much, but still, "So whatever it is, it's not good is it", John turned away, he'd expected something sarcastic, about him tattooing the wrong thing or something, not that,

"Well, I think that's a bit too deep for a Sunday morning" he said, he sucked breath through his teeth and leaned black, clicking his tongue as he smiled,

"Where are we going" she asked,

"Another prepper stash".

 _Actually, I was wondering why it is you think a sin such as wrath could be atoned by doing prepper stashes._

Laurie nodded. For now, prepper stashes were enough to keep her occupied, to make sure she gave something. John switched the radio on, switching between static before he found a station,

 _'Oh the Bliss. Oh, the Bliss. Oh, the Bliss will set you free, Oh, the Bliss is gonna make you see'._

The song finished, and, to counter the tranquillity of it, the next one that came on was like an upbeat country kind of song that made her want to sway to in the first two seconds,

' _Come brothers and come sisters, come wary and come strong, come meet the man who reaps the land on which we walk upon",_

"Wait" Laurie said, sitting herself up, "Is this",

' _Oh John, bold and bra-'_ John switched off the radio quickly, he'd been so preoccupied thinking about his conversation with Joseph, he'd not realised,

"How obnoxious can you get" Laurie said, he turned to her,

"What" John said, he turned away from her, looking out his window. Laurie reached and turned the radio back on, making John sigh,

"Like seriously",

' _He's finding us a family, he's teaching us the faith',_

"It's kinda catchy actually" Laurie admitted, she saw John shake his head, but he let the radio play. Laurie smiled, looking out of the window and giggling to herself as the song kept on, it was one of those songs that could get stuck in your head, "If I knew I'd been missing out on stuff like this, I would have got that radio fixed days ago".

The song finished, but the radio kept playing; they were obviously the cults songs, but they were all so enchanting, Laurie wouldn't be surprised if people joined just for the music.

They passed by an outreach centre, but took a closer turning back to Holland Valley than the one Randy had taken them through, taking them over another bridge.

"A guy stole some things from us" John said as he stopped the truck just on the other side of the bridge, there was a truck already there, two men patrolling the area, "The guys been dealt with, but, no one can get to the stash",

"What do you mean the guys been dealt with John" Laurie asked as she opened the door, John smiled, leaving her without an answer as he walked over to the two men who had claimed the area safe. From what, she didn't know. He walked back, gesturing for him to follow her. She almost didn't want to. But she did. John pulled over a case from the back of the truck and opened it up, pulling out a grappling hook. Laurie sighed.

Out of all the things she didn't know how to do, grappling was _not_ one of those things that she didn't know how to do. She'd tried it when she was younger to help her beat her fear of heights – it hadn't, but, at least she took away a skill that she thought she'd never have to use again.

Laurie followed John over to the edge of the underside of the bridge,

"It'll be easy" John said, he turned and passed the grappling hook to her, another one of the men passing her a stash bag equipped with a radio - to put all the goodies in he said,

"If it's so easy, why don't you do it" Laurie pulled the bag on to her shoulders,

"I'm not the one atoning for my sins, am I" John said, he smiled, leaning on the other truck and gesturing with his hand for her to go ahead. Laurie sighed and looked back at the zip line that would take her to a platform, which was held up by the scaffolding that surrounded the underside of the bridge. Using the grapple to hook on to the zip line, Laurie took a deep breath, and then another, and then another and then she felt a hand on her shoulder and she almost thought they were going to push her, but they put a hand on her the other and she felt a breath on the back of her neck.

John.

"What are you waiting for little sheep" he said quietly,

"Did Randy tell you I'm scared of heights".

"Yes, but without fear, you can't be strong" John said. "One step" he pushed in to her and she took a small step forward as well as a sharp intake of breath, which made John chuckle quietly - she almost wanted to kick him in the balls. "Two steps" he said, not having the chance to take it with her because she threw herself in to it. Laurie felt the line bow as she zipped it, her eyes shutting closed before her feet found the platform and she almost felt in to the wooden board in front. She leaned on it, catching her breath for a minute.

It hadn't been that bad, but now, somehow, she was expected to grapple and sort of manoeuvre herself, so she swung around the scaffolding and to a platform on the other side. Not looking down, she tossed the grapple at the point she thought would be most sturdy and missed. Laurie heard one of the two men boo her from where they stood at the top. She glanced back and saw John hold a hand up, silencing them. Laurie reeled the grapple back, and, swinging it in a circular motion for a couple of moments, she swung it again. At first, it looked as if it would miss, but then it caught. So, after the biggest, deepest breath she could muster, a small run and jump, she swung to and from the platforms until she had enough momentum to jump and land on that second platform in a sort of roll.

The rush it gave her pushed her forward, the height didn't seem to bother her anymore. She pulled herself up on to the next platform awkwardly, almost slipping back down before she swung her leg over. From what she could see next, there were, about, three points she could use to swing over to the next platform, but then, a small breeze brushed passed her and she caught something swinging out the edge of her eye.

People...

Hung by nooses around their neck, the figures swayed in the breeze, the Edens Gate symbol hanging next to them. At first, she though they were mannequins, but as the wind turned them around, she felt herself start to panic, her heart start to race as she saw the blotchiness of their faces. She'd never seen a dead body before, she'd never seen anyone die, not even her nanna, and then, the thought of what she'd said to John, of what she thought of sometimes, it made her feel sick. She couldn't do that. Jacob was wrong.

She pulled the radio from her bag, trying to compose herself as she pressed the button, but her voice was desperate, almost strangled,

"Why are there bodies hanging on the bridge John",

"Just keep going Laurie" he said, no ounce of concern in his voice,

"Are you fucking kidding me" Laurie almost shouted, she took a deep breath, "Is that how you fucking dealt with him" she turned away from them, resting her hand on the scaffolding as she felt her legs start to shake,

"Laurie" he almost sounded as if he was mocking her now, "Get the stash. Then we can talk about it".

"You're a fucking psychopath" Laurie said quietly, she didn't even think she'd pressed the button, but then,

"I've been called worse, hurry the fuck up" John spat through the radio, making chills run through her as she turned back to look at them. After a few more moments, and trying to convince herself that it was okay, Laurie looked back at the grappling points. The rush was gone, the adrenalin completely eradicated, but, the quicker she did it, the quicker she could go home.

Using the grapple, Laurie swung from the first, to the second and then the third before she felt the grapple rope snap, throwing her just short of the platform and landing her on the scaffolding beneath it. She clung to it, getting her breath back as she looked at the water below. Breaking the whole 'don't look down rule'.

The fall wouldn't have killed her, but the shock might have drowned her. Then, using the scaffolding as a climbing frame, Laurie pulled herself up on to the platform, letting herself lie there for a minute, looking at the underside of the bridge and wondering what the hell she was doing. The bodies, the fact that they were just there, in the open, for all to see. That's what had miffed her, that John, or whoever had done it, could make such a show of death. As if it was a warning to others. What kind of message did that send to people. No wonder there was resistance, no wonder that preacher at Falls End had warned them away.

After pulling herself together, Laurie jumped up on to the next platform but, as she stood, she felt the wood buckle beneath her and she fell through, landing on her arm and feeling a sharp pain as she rolled over. It wasn't broken, but fuck, it hurt. Pulling herself up eventually, she looked around the little den under the bridge. There were a couple work tables, shelves of food, a mattress, crates of ammo, a couple guns. Someone had been living there for a while.

After stashing what she could in her bag, she looked back at where she'd fell through. There was no way she could jump back up, and, considering her grapple line had snapped, there was no way she was gonna be able to get back across anyway.

"I'm stuck" she radioed through,

"I'm sure you'll find a way back" the coldness in Johns voice made her feel bad. He'd been in a good mood all morning, a very good mood, and she'd ruined it, but then again, there were people hung over a bridge. And, she couldn't let that slip.

What would it make her if she did?

Putting the bag back on her shoulders, she looked down at the river below. The only option she had was to jump.

"If I jump in to the water from this height, will I die" Laurie said in to the radio, a different voice radioed her back,

"Just grapple",

"The grapple snapped" she said quietly,

"You won't die" a second voice said, he didn't sound too convinced. "You could try climbing down though" he suggested. Laurie took a deep breath, rubbing at her arm as she looked over at the scaffolding below. The quicker she did it, the quicker it would be over. And, after a small moment of calm, of listening to the sound of the river gently flowing beneath her, she began the descent. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, but going down always felt so much better than going up. Laurie looked over to the bank, one of the two men were stood there already, waiting for her. After sliding down the rest of the frame, she got to the water, letting herself adjust to the cold of it before she swam over to the bank.

"Well done girl" the man said, taking the stash bag off her back as she trudged back up to John who was sat on the tailgate of the truck brooding. He didn't even look at her as he was handed the stash bag, the water that leaked from it soaking his jeans as he laid it across his lap. He held his hand up, gesturing the two men away, leaving Laurie waiting.

John could have said a lot but, he decided, that he couldn't reason any of it enough, and instead, he looked up at her; he almost expected her to be angry, but instead, she looked sad, maybe even disappointed, maybe just pissed off, he couldn't figure it out. John clicked his tongue, the tension would end up killing him - he was sure of it,

"Time for you to go". John had said it whilst smiling, but the coldness was still there, even if he had tried to reign it back. Laurie took a step away from it, almost as if she was considering arguing with him before she walked away, not forgetting to shove the radio in to his stomach, making him flinch. John took a deep breath and pushed up from the truck as the engine started - he deserved that.

The truck spluttered a couple of times before it drove away, leaving John and his bag - which he threw back over the edge and in to the river.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys! I'm in no way gonna be stopping this story anytime soon! This is literally only the beginning, and my FarCry 5 hangover is still pretty real! I don't think any game I've played since has come close to it as of yet! Anyway, here's a nice longish chapter for you! And, it was also a fun chapter to write - for the most part - a lot of it seem to flow a bit easier and I'm hoping that continues!_


	13. Enough

Chapter Thirteen – Enough

By the next day, the radio in their car was fixed and Laurie was just sat in the driver's seat, listening to the only radio station there seemed to be. All the songs related to the collapse, the cult, the bliss. Each of the Seeds even had a song written about them, about what they could offer; the fathers had even mentioned how he'd worked in an orchard but, as much as she hated to admit it – especially considering the events of the day before – she liked Johns the most.

It was one of those that got stuck in your head, and, it also played a lot more than any of the others, which, considering they were in Holland Valley, didn't suprise her that much.

Since the bridge, she hadn't seen him, but, considering the radio was back online, she assumed that his mood had softened and he'd calmed down from the cold, broody thing he'd been yesterday. But then, she never did know for sure when it came to John.

And, the scene at the bridge, it still irked her. It wasn't constant, the blotchy faces didn't sit in the back of her mind - like they probably should have - but every now and then, it would come back to her, and she would think of how they'd struggled for breath before they'd died, strangled; but then, she'd wonder if hanging was better than burning to death... And then she wondered if it did actually bother her or she thought it should, and the fact that it didn't, bothered her more.

Laurie shivered at the thought and put her head back.

She had no idea what she was doing. Not really. Or thinking. And John; he just complicated it all that bit more.

Someone knocked on the window and she flinched, finding Tom stood there, his face pressed against the glass like a child at a zoo - a very big child.

"What",

"Move over" he said, "We goin' on a road trip",

"No Tom" Laurie clicked the doors shut,

"Randy called, said Joseph wanted to see you up at the ranch" Tom said. It was funny, the phone on the table next to their door only seemed to work if people wanted to get in touch with them, or, if some guy called Drubman was trying to make them vote him for state senator or shit like that. It was quite enjoyable listening to all he'd had planned, and Tom had sat there for almost an hour - but, he was more entranced by the red-neck, all blooded American accent than he was anything he had to say. Some of the things were down-right absurd, and, he didn't seem like he was a nice kind of dad either - cause he mentioned making his kid sleep outside and saying he was willing to do what was needed.

"Tell Randy Laurie don't wanna see no Seeds today". Laurie put her head back,

"Said he wants to talk about what happened yesterday" Tom said to her, his voice muffled as he pressed his face to the glass even more. Laurie sighed, she hadn't told him what had happened; Tom, if he had anything going for him, knew when to stay away – unless it was right now. Laurie turned the radio up and closed her eyes, drowning out the knocks that he turned in to some sort of beat to go with the song about keeping your rifle by your side.

Eventually, he left, leaving her to drown out her thoughts with music before she heard the doors unlock themselves, making her flinch again as Tom jumped in, dangling the spare keys in front of her before locking the doors again. Laurie put her head down on the wheel.

 _Might as well get it over with._

Lauryn turned the keys in the ignition and backed up out of the drive-way.

"Are you going to tell me what happened" Tom asked,

"I don't think I can" Laurie said,

"Why? Did he say not too or something" Tom asked, "Cause I can-",

"No Tom. He probably wouldn't care" and Tom would never actually do anything about it. Her brother was all talk. "I can't tell you because… I don't know how I really feel about it. I don't know if what I feel about it is right or wrong. I don't even know if I care" she looked over at him, this sympathetic look on his face as he pouted at her sadly, "And, it scares me a little",

"Maybe, you don't care because it was bad, but, the right thing to do" Tom suggested. Laurie shrugged. She didn't know. Was hanging a person, whether or not they'd been dead already really a good show of confidence, to anyone.

They drove up the ranch's driveway, arriving just as a large white van left, crazy hair guy waving at them as they went passed,

"His names Dom, did you know that" Laurie asked,

"Yeah, didn't you" Tom said.

"Nope" Laurie sat back in her seat. She didn't want to leave the car. She just wanted to sit there. Listen to some music, close her eyes and just dwell on the feelings. But, Tom wasn't gonna let that happen, and Joseph Seed, who was now walking towards them – clothed in a shirt and black vest this time – wasn't going to let that happen either.

Winding her window down, she thought of something to say, but, by the time he got there, she'd let it go,

"Laurie, may I steal you for a moment" Joseph said as he put a hand on the door.

Before she knew it, she was inside Johns living hall again. It was exactly how they'd left it, all grand with it's taxidermy animals, glass shelves and red wood.

"Did John tell you I called him a psychopath" Laurie said as Joseph stopped near the table, glancing back at her,

"He did not. He only said your mind was clouded, that your belief might be wavering". Laurie pulled out one of the chairs and sat down,

"You know the worst thing" Laurie said, she took a deep breath, "Is that, it's not" she shrugged, "People were hung from that bridge, and still, somewhere inside me still wants to be here" her voice trailed off. She sighed, remembering back to the day John had taken her to Sunrise Threshing, back to what Randy had said. "The other day, when we got that eagle truck" Joseph sat down a couple seats away from her, folding his hands on the table, "Randy told me they'd killed some guy – he didn't say that, he said he'd been dealt with – but I knew what he meant, and, I... I sort of just, brushed over it like it was okay" she put her head back, "Like I didn't care", and that scared her,

"Maybe, deep down you know it was the right thing to do" Joseph said,

"Maybe" Laurie said quietly. They sat in silence for a few moments, Joseph making no move to disturb it, but Laurie did. "Is it okay to feel like that" she asked. Joseph looked over at her and she felt the need to explain, even though he looked as if he understood, "I saw them, and it... it scared me" she shrugged, "But, now it's just an image, and it's not even there all the time. It's like it's just something that happened, you know" Joseph nodded,

"Your tendency for wrath" Joseph said, he put his hand on his chest, "It can harden your feelings, it can make you immune to the sufferings of others, but, honed, you'll understand that those feelings are sometimes necessary to help you survive, to make rational decisions in the face of danger". Laurie nodded and took a deep breath. She didn't know if that made her feel any better, but for now, it's all she had.

"Answer me this" Laurie said after a few more minutes. Joseph turned to her "Why the show". She knew John had that essence of drama around him - hell, his house was enough for that, but the message that the scene on the bridge sent, to people who weren't in the cult, or the people who wanted every reason to hate them, how did that help anything,

"My brother. Sometimes, his sin will run away from him, and, I need to reign him back in" Joseph pulled at an imaginary rope, "But, despite his often not-so-perfect decisions, John's done a lot for this project, he's given a lot, and I believe he will keep giving until he has nothing left... to give".

"And how is that fair" Laurie asked after a moment, realising then that this conversation had never been about her. "When is it enough" - and wasn't that the only question that really mattered. When was enough actually enough.

"I don't think anything will ever be enough for John" Joseph said, "Although, I hope I'm proved wrong. He deserves his enough. Out of everyone. He deserves it the most." Joseph stood and walked over to one of the shelves, picking up the cults bible and placing it in front of Laurie, "Read it Laurie, read about how we began, and then, how we hope to end. How we'll find that enough together".

* * *

 _Hey guys! Thanks for reading as always! I actually mapped out all the chapters, and, well, hell, there's quite a few! Probably won't be as many by the time we actually finish, but, we'll see! Anyway, here's a nice, shortish chapter for yuh! The ones to come are a bit monstrous, but the reaping is getting that little bit closer..._


	14. The Beckoning

Chapter Fourteen – The Beckoning

It had taken her dad just minutes to find something to argue about when she'd come in. She'd been at the Lincoln Lookout Tower, trying to zip-line down a bunch of lines all day, but, after falling off and almost breaking her neck – and even Randy having more than a few attempts himself, they told themselves that sometimes, it was better to just leave things be.

"You don't think I know what you're doing" Frank said slyly, "I know", Laurie shook her head, leaning herself on the kitchen counter,

"Indulge me dad",

"Those men, those…" he looked away from her, "Monsters" he said quietly, "I know about the bridge Laurie" he turned back to her, he didn't look angry, he almost looked pleased, as if he could finally say, 'See, I was right', "Does your sin make you blind as well". Laurie's hand tightened around the counter, a lump in her throat as she remembered it, "Or, did you help put them there",

"Are you fucking serious" Laurie spat, "Fuck you", she pushed off the counter, she had to get away from the shit he was spouting. Frank stood up,

"I-" Frank was cut off by a knock on the door. They both looked over, Frank going a shade lighter as they waited. Another knock.

It couldn't have been Randy; he would have already walked in by now. Frank stood up, composed himself and opened it, smiling widely as he looked in to the face of a man he didn't know.

"Hello. I've been meaning to pop in. I'm the county Sheriff. Names Earl Whitehorse", Laurie took a step forward as Ads and Tom both popped their heads down from the hatch above. Jackie, who'd been hiding in the bathroom since the two of them had been at it, popped her head around the door,

"Hi, I'm Frank Willis" Frank offered his hand to the man quickly, as if he was pleased he was here,

"I know who you are" he said, "I know what mess you've got yourselves in to" he said quietly, glancing around, finding only his own men amongst the tree's, the dots of their snipers looking through the trees for Peggies. Whether from luck, chance or they knew he was here and they were just biding their time, they hadn't bumped in to any Peggies or Seeds. Frank should have argued, but he didn't, he just let the man carry on, the prospect of more ways to show his own daughter that he was right, and she was wrong, made him feel giddy. "You won't find no peace here. The, Seeds are bad news, they'll pilfer all you owe, and they'll tear your family apart like they've done so many others"

"Sheriff" but he had to keep up the ruse, he may not have agreed with anything that John said, but a part of him still believed in Josephs word, "We-" Frank let the Whitehorse interrupt him,

"You've been here five minutes. Why don't you come with us, we'll show you more of a truth than them Seeds will" Frank looked over his shoulder at his wife who was shaking her head slowly, a plead on her face for him to stay.

"They stay here" Frank said, looking back at the Sheriff,

"Are you serious" Laurie asked, "If they-"

"Quiet Laurie" Frank said through his teeth, "I'll be home soon" he smiled back at them, but it was small, forced and he looked away as if he had a bad taste in his mouth.

"Frankie" Jackie sighed, reaching out for him, but he shrugged it away, following the Sheriff to the blue truck he'd driven there in.

"He's not doing anything wrong by going with him" Jackie said quickly after,

"No. It's just not going his way anymore" Laurie said, but no one seemed to listen,

"Joseph told us there would be liars amongst the people here, that they would try and sway us. He'll be loyal to Edens Gate, don't worry" Jackie told them,

"Like he's loyal to us" Laurie said, watching him get in the truck, a laugh escaping him as he pulled the door shut,

"Maybe if John had been a little easier on him" Jackie said, her voice small and gentle, watching as they drove away. Her voice was always so small and gentle when it came to her fathers actions, all justified in her head because it was justified in his. Or, that's what Laurie and Tom thought anyway.

Laurie had been about to say that John had gone easy on him. From what she could gather, he'd said only a few sentences before John'd had enough, he'd had to endure the thoughts for just a few moments, and his pride, it would make sure that he didn't think of it anymore, that he'd turn it on someone else. He was already doubting John, how long until he started doubting Joseph as well.

But, Laurie collapsed back on to the sofa and sighed. Perhaps if John had been a bit harder on him, he wouldn't have had any doubts in the first place.

* * *

"You have a nice family" the Sheriff said as they drove down the road tentatively, a truck following behind them, Deputy Hudson he'd told Frank when he'd seen it in the side mirror and gone a little pale,

"Thank you" was all Frank said,

"Now, I know the reason you came here was to join the cult. That's pretty obvious, cause there's no other reason you would. But, I'm telling you, these people, their bad news, maybe not yet, but." Whitehorse shook his head, "There's something coming. And I don't mean no collapse. Honestly, I think some things are best left alone, but, you, your family, you have no ties here, I don't want you to have to deal with the stuff that will go down if it comes to pass", the Sheriff turned a sharp corner. "Look, I ain't here to trick you, I'm here to save you from them Seeds" that was all he could do. "Now, I want you to see something. I want you to see what they do to the people that don't want to atone for any sort of sin, who don't want to be a part of their march", he stopped the truck and got out, leading the silent Frank to the hill as a rifle wielding Deputy Hudson followed behind them, watching their backs.

The hill looked out over a river. There were a group of people at its bank and John Seed was stood in the water, the cults bible in his hands as he gestured for one of his men to pull a woman from the group and drag her, kicking and screaming towards the water. She was crying out for mercy, begging them not to drown her. Another man, a little further up the river was emptying barrels of green liquid in to the water. They forced her under as John started to preach his words, promising atonement, salvation, the opening of Edens Gates, and then she was pulled up again, her body lax and stumbly as she was led back to John. Her eyes were red as he wiped his thumb over her head before gesturing her out.

"See that green shit their putting in the water. That's' the bliss. That's what makes them comply with all the shit they say" Hudson said, "Probably used it on you already" Frank didn't say anything, he just watched as the next person took to the waters. Not as unwilling as the last, but it was probably more do to the fact that John hadn't drowned the one before. "They drug you, make you believe the bullshit he spouts" Hudson spat on the floor,

"I've seen enough" Whitehorse said,

"We can't let them do that to those people" Hudson said, finding John in her sights,

"If we interfere, they might meet a worser fait than the waters" Whitehorse said, "Now. Frank, we want to help you, your family. We don't want you to end up brain-dead angels or a part of this thing their trying to create. We want you on our side. Or, we want you gone",

"I-",

"I'm not asking you to decide right now. I'm not asking for you to dunk your head in water, to atone, or, nothing like that, I'm asking you to take your time, to decide what's really best for your family. If you go through it with them, we become enemies. I can't promise one of our men wouldn't shoot you or your own",

"I guess we'll just take you home then" Hudson scoffed as she followed behind Whitehorse, leaving Frank to look back over the cleansing below. John was looking up at the hills, as if he'd felt the eyes of traitors, but as he glanced in Franks direction, the old man ducked, and John missed him. Frank shuffled backwards quickly before following the path back to the road where the Sheriff was, talking to Hudson in a quarrelled discussion. She left with a huff and got in her truck, driving the other way to which they'd come,

"Problem" Frank asked as he got in. Whitehorse sighed,

"She's not a patient girl" he said, "They killed her partner" he looked over at him, "Never forgave herself" he pulled off. Whitehorse chuckled, "She's also a bit worried that if we let you go, you'll go running back to Joseph" he shrugged, "Honestly, there's not much more he could to us than he hasn't already done" he sighed, "But, I know a family man when I see one. You brought your family here with good intentions. You just did wrong", Frank said nothing, pondering the words. Whitehorse didn't speak again until they were outside the house, "I'll be seeing you soon Frank. Remember what you saw here tonight. I know it's not much, but, these people, they're not what they seem" Frank nodded. Whitehorse waited until he was out of the truck before he leaned over, "Make sure your daughter stays away from John too. That sadistic bastard will do anything to get what he wants",

"Thank you Sheriff" Frank said.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! It means so much!_


	15. Doubt

Chapter Fifteen – Doubt

That next day, whilst Frank was sat outside the front, Johns truck pulled up on the drive-way and he'd felt himself go pale - cold - a worry washing over him at the thought of what happened the night before coming to light, of his family; his daughter betraying his trust, but it was Randy who got out, smiling and nodding at the man as he went passed, pushing open the front door of his house and walking in,

"Thomas" he said, "I have a plan". Tom was sat on the floor in front of the settee, an xbox controller in his hand as he tried to set-up the console on the tv,

"It better be a good plan" Tom peered at him, his eyes tired from staring at the screen for what felt like forever,

"Can I be in the plan" Ads said quickly from his seat on the settee, standing up quick,

"Of course you can" Randy said, "Need the girl too" he looked around the room, finding Jackie stood in the kitchen, her eye's still focused on her task at hand – she really was taking this serious, it kinda made him a little sad,

"She's having a shower, you'll have to wait" Tom said, gesturing with his head as he turned back to the tv. He sighed after just a minute and put the controller down; the console wanted to update itself every five minutes, but the fact that there was no internet was making it go a tad crazy. Usually, Tom was a dab hand at stuff like this, but today, he was too tired for any of it. Randy picked up the controller and after a few setting changes, the home screen came on and Ads took a deep breath, waiting for the update screen to pop up, but when nothing happened, he let out a little squeak of excitement.

"Now, I won't endorse this" Randy said as he clicked on to the COD game inside the console, "But, this is definitely the best game in the series", Tom smirked,

"Do you and John Seed have COD nights"

"We did once" Randy admitted, "Back in Rome" he smiled at the memory as the game started up, "He's not very good though".

Laurie came out of the bathroom then, wearing her pyjama pants and a t-shirt, her hair up in a towel as she looked over at them,

"I don't feel like the father would want his children to indulge in video games",

"What the father don't know won't hurt him" Randy said,

"What the father don't know will kill us all" Laurie said, she pulled the towel off and started rubbing it on her hair as she went in to her room,

"Little sheep, hurry, we have need of you" Randy said,

"I'm not available today" Laurie said, "It's my day off" she closed the door with her foot.

"Just say _YES_ " Randy chimed at her,

"You haven't got the same appeal",

"Fine. Come on, this'll be here when you get back" Randy said, tossing the controller on the couch next to Ads.

* * *

Getting the XBOX to work had obviously been the first highlight of Ads day, but the second highlight, and probably the best he'd had since getting there, was being handed a small sniper like gun.

"If you tell mum. We will die" Tom told him as Randy handed him a rifle, "If you tell dad… Just don't" Tom warned him and Ads nodded absent-mindedly, running his hands over it,

"Right, I'm assuming that neither of you have shot a gun before", Ads put his hand up, "In real life" Ads shoulders slumped,

"I have" Tom admitted, "Just a hand-gun, but I know how much force just that can give" he glanced at Ads who was looking at him, his brow raised as if he didn't believe him. Randy nodded, not questioning it, he put his hand on each of their shoulders and they crouched down amongst the tall grass, he nodded towards the forest,

"In this here forest, is a black bear. Now, normally a few shots and it'll run away, but" he smiled, "It decided to take a nap in the green houses, got itself a bit high and now it's…" he shrugged, "Well, it's a bit messed up, and, we need to take him out",

"A bit like yogi bear then" Tom suggested,

"Yeah, but this bear's more likely to kill you" Randy said as he stood up, he put his hand on Ads shoulder. "Now, only shoot if it gets too close to you, okay kid" Ads nodded, "Tom" he looked over at him, "I have no idea how this is gonna go down, but aim for the head, right" Tom nodded.

Leaving Ads stood between two tree's, Tom and Randy creeped around the forest. The bear had been sighted just a half hour before by a foot patrol in the area, when it had attempted to rip some poor guys head off.

After a little more creeping, they heard it before they saw it. This low constant growl as it stumbled around, it's nose in the air. It didn't look as menacing as the one on the radio had sounded, but when it shook – and almost fell on it's arse doing so – they both saw the bits of white fall from it's fur. Randy raised his sniper, hoping that just one shot to the head would do it, but Tom had his rifle up, sitting in amongst the shrub, watching.

The red dot caught the bears attention and it turned to stare at Randy, it's own eye's red and bloodshot as it suddenly charged at him, the stumble in its step had gone, as if it had only been pretending. Randy pulled the trigger, catching the bear on the ear, but the bear kept coming and he raised his hand, diving out of the way as Tom let loose of his own bullets, hitting the bear repeatedly on it's back as it swiped at the ground where Randy lay.

Did the bliss make the skin harder, or was the bear so numb, that it didn't feel it?

Randy rolled away, but the bear pounced, landing on top of him and opening his mouth to grab his head when a shot rang out from above them and the bear slumped on top, it's mouth open and those teeth almost impaling him on the way down.

Ads stood a few feet away from them, he still had the bear in his sights,

"Damn it kid" Randy said from underneath it,

"Ads. What did we tell you" Tom said as he sat back on his heels, hoping his heart would go back to beating at a normal pace again,

"You weren't shooting for the head" Ads shrugged.

Randy laughed, "Damn, you're a good shot kid. A good shot" he lay there some more, and after a few more minutes, he wiggled, making the bear atop him barely move. "Now, if you would both be so kind" he wiggled again. Tom pushed himself up, looking at Ads who seemed more composed than even Randy did. It was like he almost had this glow about him, a rush of adrenalin making him hold the gun as it was a part of him.

It was settled then, Laurie couldn't know either.

Together, the three of them carried the bear and put it on the back of truck. It'd make a nice rug once it was skinned and the meat would be good for Jacobs judges was what Randy had told Ads as he'd sat in the front with him, Tom sat in the back, his feet up on the bear as they made their way back to the house,

"What's a judge" Ads asked, assuming he didn't mean from a courtroom,

"Mostly wolves" Randy said, "We capture them with these beacons and then Jacob, he trains them to fight along side us",

"That's really cool" Ads said,

"Hey, if you're good, I'll take you up the mountains one day, I'm sure Jacob won't mind. And, your a pretty good shot as well, might be a prime candidate for Jacobs training courses" Randy thought out loud,

"Really" Ads said excitedly,

"Yeah" Randy said, "But, keep it between us for now, right" he winked and Ads nodded, a smile on his face as he sat back in his chair.

"That means don't tell Laurie" they heard Tom say from the back, having overheard the conversation.

* * *

Ads had been telling Randy about a school trip he'd had when they arrived back, Ads falling silent immediately as the shouting from inside the house made Randy go to push his door open, only for Tom to appear, leaning against it so he couldn't.

"I'll sort it" Tom told him quickly, "Girls on her period" he shrugged, "Probably just not had enough chocolate" he said. Tom took a step back, as if he was waiting for Randy to still get out, but he didn't. He nodded after a moment and Tom smiled limply, "Just, keep it between us though, yeah" the shouting inside had already started to quiet. Randy nodded again, a small sigh leaving him as he looked over at Ads who was still sat there, no want to move in him at all. Randy put his hand hand on his shoulder and squeezed it,

"Go on kid" Ads took a deep breath through his nose before he climbed out, "Any trouble" Randy pointed at Tom through the passenger window as he went around the front and ruffled Ads hair,

"No trouble at all" Tom said, "Promise". Randy sighed, already regretting it, and Tom waved him off as he left, disappearing down the road, leaving him and Ads outside. "Go down to the bunker if you want kid" Tom told him, "I'll go bash their heads together and then we'll have some food". Ads did a small smile and left him to it, knowing full well that Tom would probably make the situation worse.

Fortunately, the argument had its winner and by the time he picked up the courage to walk in, his father pushed out, muttering about going for a walk. It left Jackie stood in the kitchen, stirring whatever it was she was cooking, and Laurie sat on the couch, shaking.

"Laurie" Tom said quietly, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands, stemming the shakiness. She'd been crying, but that feeling had gone, replaced by a fleet of rage that had resulted in the controller being thrown at the wall. She hadn't done that for so long. Usually she could talk her way out of it, she could talk enough that the rage just came out in words, but the controller'd had the brunt of it this time. At least, if anything, she'd aimed for the wall and not her father's head, "What did he say to you",

"He keeps saying shit he shouldn't say" a sob was stuck in her throat, "He's doubting-"

"It's John, he just doesn't like him" Tom told her,

"It's not just that. He keeps saying their monsters", she shook her head, "But they're not, their just..." She didn't know what they were, not really, but, what she did know, was that, her father... He was a monster; he'd done terrible things... things, to this day, he still thought right. He did them because he reasoned that it was the right thing to do, that it was the only thing he could do. Because they benefitted his end. And how did he any right to judge men with the same words he should have judged himself with.

* * *

 _Hey! Thanks for reading if you got this far!_

 _I've gone back and edited a couple of the earlier chapters. Nothing major, I've just added a bit more foreshadowing (concerning Frank and his doubts or tried too at least), corrected some grammar and typos, and maybe changed a few things here and there so they aren't so confusing. And, even though I have the outline now, there's still so much more to this than I ever thought it would be, and, I'm really excited about it. Even if it is just a fanfiction. I'm just having so much fun writing it, and, in the end, I think that's all that matters._

 _Thanks again guys!_


	16. Pride

Chapter Sixteen – Pride

Her father had won; he'd got the better of her. But. She could deal with that. A loss every now and then wasn't going to kill her, and, in all honesty, there were worse places that controller could have smashed in to other than the wall. So... maybe... maybe she did win...

Anyway, he either still wasn't back yet, or he'd left again already, so whether he was off sulking, or gallivanting with the Sheriff again, she was thankful for it. Perhaps prepper stashes weren't going to help her atone - or help her contain her wrath, but it made sure that she was away from him and all the shit he spouted, and that was just as good.

But, perhaps she needed to make it a priority to ask Joseph, or John, whether or not they had something planned for him. He was a doctor after all, he could bring people back to life. He was useful, and now, he was just left to mope around the house like a child. It hadn't been that long, not really, but he needed something to do, and, she wasn't so sure prepper stashes would be his thing.

Before finally leaving her room, she placed the small black book Joseph had given her under her pillow. She'd only read a little of it before going to sleep, but, from what she did read, the three brothers didn't sound as if they'd had that great of a start in life, and, the more she read, the more she could reason with John not wanting to spend too much time dwelling on the shit Frank would have spouted during his confession. It cut a lot closer to home than she'd ever realised.

"I really want a dog again" Ads said as Laurie sat next to him, staring at the static on the TV. The signal had gone out the night before, and with his XBOX controller a little bashed up, it made playing any sort of game too much of a chore,

"I don't think that's a priority right now bud" Laurie said as she remembered Albi, the staffy cross they'd had before coming here. He'd been old, died a few weeks before they left - after she'd paid for his passport and all the things he needed to come with them. The worst thing though, he was the kind of dog who'd look at you as he picked up something he shouldn't, and then run away with it; so the fact that he waited to die until everything had been sorted for him was kind-of-typical. But, hadn't made the losing bit any easier.

"I saw some guy with a dog earlier, he tried selling me a fishing rod" Ads told her, he was still staring at the tv, peering now as if he could make it work with his mind,

"Did you buy it" Laurie looked over at him,

"Dad said no" Ads sighed and then flopped forward dramatically on to the floor, defeated by the Montana heat, Laurie snorted and then put her head back, fanning herself with one of the pillows. It was pretty hot today.

"You can ask Randy if he has a spare one" Laurie suggested after a minute. Randy did seem to be their go to guy for everything,

"Really" Ads said excitedly, rolling around so he was on his back,

"Sure". Laurie shrugged, "Can't see the harm". He'd already shot a bear and killed it, which she wouldn't have known about had she not heard Tom reminding him not to say anything. The ceiling was surprisingly thin, and she could hear most of the conversations the two boys had above her whilst lying in bed. Some were down right absurd, and, others... well, others weren't exactly safe for the years of adults, let alone thirteen year old boys..

"Can we go now" Ads asked, pushing himself up so he was sitting,

"I have no clue where he'd be" Laurie shrugged, and she didn't. The telephone Joseph had given to them hardly ever rang, and outgoing calls were even more impossible,

"We could go to the ranch or sumin" Ads stood up, the shiver of anticipation radiating through him,

"We could all go" Tom said, looking down through the hatch at them, "Have to walk though, you up for that bud" he looked over at Ads. The boy thought about it a minute, about the heat that could devour them, but then he nodded. Laurie sighed, she'd hoped it would have swayed him away from the idea. The heat didn't bother her, despite how unbearable it was, she just didn't want to have to bump in to John. But. Ads was giving her those big brown puppy dog eyes and she agreed just for the sake of it.

"Come on then" she said quietly, standing up and grabbing her sunglasses from the counter where her mum was stood, putting away dishes. It felt like that was all she did lately. "Mum, you up for a little walk" she asked. Jackie went to say no, that she should stay and wait for Frank, but then, she looked at her children, and she nodded instead. Sometimes, she had to remind herself that she had other duties as a mom that didn't mean cleaning or waiting on her husband. And, other than going to those two sermons, and the ranch those couple of times, she hadn't left the house at all.

And her skin was starting to go pale without the sun.

They'd almost forgot how long of a walk it was, and the drive-way up to the YES sign just seemed to take forever. Eventually, though, they passed by the green houses. There were a couple men sat outside, leaning on their trucks as they took in the sun. One of them nodded over, and Tom had nudged Ads, both of them silently agreeing that they were trying to keep anymore bears from turning in to psychopathic yogi's.

As they finally came upon the ranch, each of them now regretting their decision, they found their crazy haired friend – Dom - leaning on a crate with the Edens Gate symbol painted on it. There were a few of them scattered around, and, on the ground nearest to the hanger, a long black banner was being held down by paint cans on either side.

"What brings you 'ere" Dom asked,

"Came here for Randy" Tom said, he fanned himself with the Hope County truckers hat he'd found in the bunker,

"He not here. John sent him over to Henbane",

"Ahh",

"Johns in the hangar though" he nodded over to the separate redwood building, "If you wanna…",

"Does he have a fishing rod" Ads asked, getting straight to the point,

"Sure, come with me, I'll get yah one" Dom said, he started walking towards the house, "Yeah, he's in the hangar" Dom repeated as Ads followed behind him. Tom looked to Laurie, shrugging a shoulder as she shook her head, she wasn't in the mood to see him just yet, he sucked the air through his teeth and then looked over at his mom,

"I'll stay with Laur, you go" Jackie said, smiling half-heartedly,

"Okay, I need a talk with him anyway" Tom wasn't bothered, John was a creepy guy sometimes, but he didn't find him creepy enough to worry about being left alone with him. Jackie looked over at Laurie who smiled at her meekly as Tom walked away; they hadn't really spent any alone time since they'd arrived, and she thought it'd be awkward, but then Laurie took her hand and pulled her with her,

"Come on" Laurie said, "Come look at the view". Laurie took her mum around the house, passed a white shed and to two deck chairs on a small patio that overlooked the valley. The mountains that surrounded them were off in the distance, a valley of trees and river separating them.

"We live so low to the ground, I forget how beautiful this place is" Jackie said as she leaned back, bringing one leg up and letting the other hang. Putting a hand behind her head, she got comfy, soaking in the suns ray.

"It reminds me of home a little" Laurie said. Living in Wales had meant that they were never far from a valley,

"Do you miss it" Jackie asked, because she did. She missed her home, she missed the space that she could totter around in; missed the company; even if she wasn't about to admit it out loud. Her sin had led her in to the bed of many men, many more than she would ever admit too, but, her 'regulars' did include the guy who mowed their lawn, and, even the milk man who came around every so often and always seemed to forget his milk.

"Sometimes" Laurie said; she missed pieces of it, she missed her flat most-of-all though. It hadn't been much, and it had only been minutes away from her parent's house, but it had been a sanctuary for her, and the means to never having to spend any alone time with her dad. Or having the whole leeching off dad lecture he liked so much.

They both sat there in silence for a while, but then, Jackie decided to address the tension in the air,

"What's up with you and John" Jackie asked, "I though you were… Getting along", Laurie thought she heard a little bit of envy in her voice, but she let it pass,

"I told you already, we're not-"

"I know, I believe you" Jackie sat up in the chair, "I mean" she waved her hand, "Overall Laurie. You seem like you… Enjoy each other's company" Laurie sighed, she didn't sound like she believed her that much,

"Just stuff" Laurie said, her mom looked at her expectantly, "I just saw a few things and I don't know how I feel about it. I get that certain things have to happen, but I don't understand why it has to happen _that_ way",

"Are you taking a page out of Randall's book" Jackie asked, Laurie raised her brow, "Riddle me this, riddle me that", she leaned back, almost sad that her daughter wouldn't tell her the truth of it all, but, she wasn't surprised either. The less she knew, the less she could slip up to Frank and make things worse,

"No, it's just. I want to believe in all this, I just",

"Your father-", Laurie cut her off immediately,

"Mum. He's not right about them. And, you know that" Laurie looked at her and Jackie sighed through her nose, closing her eyes. Unlike Frank, after that sermon, even with what the Sheriff had apparently showed him, Jackie believed the words that came out of Josephs mouth. But still, she wasn't sure if going against them, or going against Frank was worse. "Their not the monsters he says they are. They just…" Laurie didn't know how to say it,

"They do all those horrible things that need to be done that other people won't do" Jackie said for her. Laurie nodded. It wasn't like her mom to be so open-minded, and that was the reason why she wasn't about to tell her what had happened at the bridge. That was something her father didn't need to know about.

After a little longer of just staring off in to the distance, they both heard the mumbles of voices as Tom and John walked over to them.

John was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a complete dress-down from his usual. It made Laurie feel better that he looked just as hot and bothered as they did, except, his t-shirt clung to his skin, showing off the faint line of abs and muscle underneath. Jackie even had to compose herself by looking back off in to the mountains, and then looking only at her son as they came and stood in front of them, blocking off the view.

Laurie could just imagine her mum leaning over and saying the view was complete, but instead, Jackie only took fleeting glances when she was sure John wasn't looking, but he never was, his eyes fixed on Laurie.

"Well, if I knew I'd be having visitors, I would have been better dressed" Laurie had to stop herself from scoffing, as soon as they'd been seen at the greenhouses, he'd known they were coming,

"It's no problem" he looked to Jackie who quickly glanced away, "We should have said" she shrugged a shoulder as she looked at her hands in her lap,

"Can I get you some dinner" John said, "Least I can do",

"Hell, yes, lead the way" Tom said, swinging his arm to the house. John smiled and Tom and Jackie followed him up. Laurie stayed put for a moment longer, watching the valley and again, telling herself not to think about what John Seed looked like under all those layers. That game was a bit too dangerous.

John was stood by the door, waiting for her,

"Hello little sheep" he said, the coldness from the days before were gone, all calm and composed, all sweet with that fall-at-your-knees look he had going on most of the time. Made even worse by that sticky sweatiness he had now.

"Hello John" she replied, trying to keep a straight face as she saw the small smirk spread across his face.

John followed her in before gesturing for them all to sit.

Ads came over with a green fishing rod, he held it up,

"Look". Laurie smiled, brushing her hand against his head,

"See, told yuh they'd have one" Ads sat at the table, putting the fishing rod down as Dom brought over a box of lures,

"Make yourselves comfortable" John said before leaving the room. Jackie sat down and Dom took the seat next to her. He was quiet when he talked, but Laurie glanced over at Tom who was fishing threw the box of feathered lures and raised her brow as she did a small nod at the two of them. Her mums cheeks were going a light shade of red, but whether he was flirting with her or just telling her something embarrassing, his voice was too low to know.

Tom smiled and shrugged. As long as she didn't jump in to bed with him after, neither of them saw the harm. She also had to learn how to speak to men without pulling their clothes off and, considering crazy-hair guy wasn't the sort of specimen their mum usually went for, he was probably a great buffer for it.

"Where's the kitchen too" Tom asked Dom after a moment,

"Through there, first door" Dom said, gesturing to where John had left without looking at him, his eyes still firmly on Jackie, "So, you think you can pull back this monstrosity" he asked, he put his hand through his hair,

"I think I could tame it quite easily",

"I thought John didn't cook" Tom said, interrupting their little conversation. Laurie looked at Dom, she almost expected him to act a little peeved, but it's almost as if it caught him off-guard and he looked to him when he spoke now, a little red in the face himself, "No, he's probably making sandwiches", he leaned back a little so he wasn't sat so close to Jackie, "Randy's the cook around here, use to make savouries and all sorts so he's a dab hand at roasting meat" he looked back at Jackie, "And Johns capable of buttering some bread".

Nice vote of confidence there.

But, Dom wasn't wrong, that was exactly what they got. Beef sandwiches.

It wasn't long before John launched in to a conversation about them. He knew their sins, knew where they were from and all the technicalities, but he honestly wanted to know more about what made the Willis family tick.

Jackie took the lead, told him she used to be hair stylist before the kids came along. Tom had done spouts in college, working on a couple different things before he'd spent time in rehab and then found a job in the hospital his dad had worked at, as a porter. Ads favourite subject in school had been chemistry, but more because of the teacher than anything else, and he really liked Call of Duty, which got a small smile out of John, and Laurie; Laurie had spent most of her days working long hours as an offices run-about.

He would have asked for more, but then Randy arrived back, his skin had tanned itself in the sun, the heat almost like a second home to him,

"I was wondering where you all were" he said, he'd just passed their house now and found no one home, he'd been a little worried, "John. Sorted it all. Give them a day or two, they'll send word when it's set-up for him", John stood,

"Good",

"Where is the old man" Randy asked, only seeing four Willis' instead of five,

"Out exploring the wilderness of Montana" Tom said cheerfully, punching the air,

"Maybe he got eaten by a wolverine" Laurie muttered, and John glanced over at her, raising his brow as she shrugged at him, he smiled, but said nothing, nodding at Randy that it was okay to take them home.

John had wanted to talk to Laurie before she'd left, just to ask her himself what the argument with her father had entailed. Randy had told him as soon as he'd got back, and, he'd also 'convinced' him that Tom had it all in hand - which they both knew wasn't true - but, he had to keep some sort of distance and, if today was anything to go by, Laurie still needed a little space.

* * *

"What did you need to see John about" Laurie asked as she stood with Tom in the front garden, waving Randy off as he drove away.

"I asked him if he intended to put dad doctors degree to use, and he said it was all in the works. Then…" Tom sighed. "He asked if things were okay at home, and I was like yeahhhh. And I don't think he believed me, but he didn't say anything. So. I'm guessing Randy told him but, I think last nights little argument is like water under the bridge, yuh know",

"That's fine with me" Laurie breathed. Tom nodded, but still, he wanted to know,

"What started it",

Laurie sighed. "He just keeps going on about John and the cult being monsters" she shrugged, "And, I know they do a lot of questionable shit, but, I don't know. It's not as black and white as dad's making it out to be",

"It never is with people" Tom said, "Dad should know that out of everyone, but…"

"He doesn't give a shit about other people opinions, only his own", he liked to think he did, liked to pretend he did too, but time and time again, he'd proved that he only cared about himself.

"Exactly" Tom reached his arms up in to the air, the heat had been replaced by this humid air that he wasn't sure was any better. He ran his tongue over his teeth before he looked back at his sister, a playful tone on his voice, "What is it with you and John" he asked,

"Friends" Laurie shrugged, a small smile on her lips as she started to walk towards the back of the house,

"Are you sure" he asked, following her,

"Well… Friends may be pushing it",

"Colleagues" Tom suggested, bumping in to her arm, Laurie tilted her head from side to side,

"Possibly".

"You know" Tom bit his lip and clicked his tongue a few times, "He seems…" he shrugged, "I don't think he's so pent up… when he's around you" Tom said,

"What do you mean" Laurie asked,

"I don't know. It's just, we were in the hangar, in the kitchen" Tom shrugged, "and I almost felt as if he was lying through his teeth - perfectly good teeth might I add" Laurie rolled her eyes, "and I don't mean the stuff he said or anything like that, just like… the way he acted. Like, that's all it was. Like an act. You know". Laurie did, but then she didn't. All she really knew was that Joseph believed, that out of the three of them, John deserved a lot more than he got, and then she wondered if perhaps that black book had anymore about him. However, instead of delving in to all that, she suggested,

"Maybe he has a crush on you",

"Man, I'd tap that quicker than you could say 'Oh John" Laurie laughed, "But yeah, at the table, he seemed a lot" he couldn't find the word, "looser perhaps",

"And what's that got to do with me" Laurie asked, "he's not always nice to me you know". Sure, she wasn't nice to him either, but he wasn't always that calm and composed and happy guy everyone else saw all the time,

"I haven't figured it out yet. It's either he really wants to fuck you, or he's in love with you". Laurie opened her mouth to argue, but then they both heard the car pull up. Frank was back.

They walked around the whole of the house and saw Frank slam the car door as he got out. His voice cut through the air like a knife,

"Where have you been"

"Us. What about you" Laurie countered quickly, the bottom of his trousers dirty and his hair was slick back with sweat,

"I've been" he shook his head, "It doesn't matter" he said angrily, Jackie opened the front door, peering out. Frank took a deep breath, simmering his small rage and then looked at them both, "Laurie. You have to stop seeing that man", Laurie rolled her eyes,

"It wasn't my idea to come-", he cut her off,

"No, we have to decide. We go home now, or we join the Sheriff in the fight against the cult" he'd already decided, there was no option. He wanted to help liberate Hope County of the evil monsters.

"Are you serious" Laurie scoffed, taking a few steps towards him, "There is no fight"

"Not yet, but Joseph is right, something is coming, but it's-",

"The collapse" Laurie told him, but Frank shook his head, a small smile on his lips,

"No, not just that" Frank said, he put his head up, his hands behind his back, "You know what I saw today. I saw people being burned alive just for being weak" Frank told them, he looked towards Ads who was now stood in the doorway behind Jackie,

"What" Jackie said, her throat tight,

"Jacobs men have a nasty way of dealing with people they consider weaker than them" Frank said, "Their monsters. They'll tear our family apart the Sheriff said. Raving lunatics who'll torture the lot of us", Laurie scoffed at him,

"Stop acting like you care" Frank glared at her, "Why did you beat me for? Because I was weaker than you? Or you just enjoyed it",

"Laurie, you-" his voice was so full of hatred then, of betrayal. Ads looked from one to the other, and Laurie almost felt bad, but she couldn't stop herself,

"I deserved it, did I? Why, because I didn't do as I was told. Cause I was sinful" she chuckled at the word, "You're no better than the men you call monsters". Frank interlocked his hands, as if he was about to plead, he took a step forward,

"You have become blinded by them" he had his preacher voice on, "By their faces, their bodies-",

"Oh please. I'm not my mother" fell from Lauries lips before she could take it back,

"Don't speak of your mother like that" Frank spat, "Unlike you, she has been atoning for her sins" Jackie flinched under the words, cowering back through the door as Ads brushed pass so he was stood outside,

"And how am I not-",

"That man. He will lead you down the path of wrath, he will manipulate you and-",

"Of for fucks sake dad, you have no idea what he's like" neither did she, but still,

"A tumble here and there does not mean you know a man-" Laurie cut him off, trying to keep the lump of rage in her throat,

"He will-" he cut her off again and Laurie squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tether snap,

"He will lead you astray. And maybe. Maybe you don't even care" if he was any closer, she would have felt the spit all over her face as he almost shouted, losing the preachiness in his voice.

"I care more than you, you stupid bas-" Frank slapped Laurie in the face, the shock and the force of it pushing her over. Laurie turned over on her hands and knees and spat some blood from her mouth. The rage was quelled for a moment, and she was about to say he wasn't atoning for his sins either, but Ads ran over to him and Frank caught him by the collar of his t-shirt and threw him down. That sudden rage in her fathers eyes reminded her of one she'd seen years before and she jumped to her feet quickly, she didn't really push him as much as bump in to him, but he fell to the floor either way.

All sorts ran through her head in those few moments, but two sets of arms encircled her before she could act on any of them, pulling her back,

"I will fucking kill you" Laurie cried, trying to pull free desperately, "You touch him again, and I swear" a hand encircled her neck and she took a deep breath, making herself go rigid as they pulled her back. She felt cuffs close around her wrists and a thumb run itself down her palm, a breath on the back of her neck,

"Now, now, Laurie, you were doing so well" John said. She gulped and felt his hand loosen,

"You see what she's become" Frank spat from where he sat, his legs shaking. John felt the thump of her blood start to quicken as Frank kept on, "She's like a wild animal, she could never atone", Laurie pulled from his grip, faltering ever so slightly, almost strangling herself as she went towards him, pulling away from John or whoever else was there. Frank covered himself with his hands, but Laurie stopped herself moments before John grabbed her by the shoulder and yanked her back. The other man, who turned out to be Dom grabbed her as she tripped, keeping her up as John stood in front of her. Dom had a firm grip on her shoulders now, there was no way he was going to let go,

"I'll be the judge of that" John said. He grabbed her chin so she looked at him and didn't glare at her father, he could still feel the pulse radiating through her skin. So much anger. "Do you promise to let it go",

"I can't" she breathed out, but the anger had started to quell, leaving as quickly as it had come, her body shaking from the rush of it all,

"Take her" John said, but, for a moment, he didn't move his hand, his eye had caught something in the light and he moved her head to the side slightly, seeing the mark that rested on the side of her face, the redness in the corner of her lip. John let his hand fall, brushing the top of her tattoo before he looked back at Frank who now had Jackie stood over him, trying to help him up.

He was milking it.

John was about to say something when he felt a body rush passed him. He turned to Ads as he clung to Laurie, almost anchoring them both to the ground,

"Are you okay" Laurie said, Ads just nodded his head quickly, his eyes stuck shut,

"Take-em both" John said before he turned back to the three that were left. He waited until the two of them were in the back of the van before he said anymore. "I thought we promised that we'd never raise a hand to our children again Papa Willis".

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys!_

 _This was a fun little (well, longest one yet, but still) chapter to write! And, if your a reader, I hope you're still enjoying it!_


	17. The Locusts

Chapter Seventeen – The Locusts

"Take your mum inside Tom" John said as he stood in front of Frank, "Me and Frank need to talk",

"No" Jackie cried as she cowered over Frank. John glanced over at Tom who had this sickly, pale look on his face as he stared at his father who still lay on the floor, a mixture of fear and anger on Franks face as he glared up at John. John chimed,

"Tom", Tom looked over at him, not meeting his eye, "Now",

"Tom, no" Jackie begged as Tom came towards her, wrestling to peel her fingers from Frank who still hadn't moved. Tom pushed the door to the house open with his body and dragged the crying Jackie inside,

"I am not-" Frank went to stand, but John put his hand up and two of his men were on him, holding him down. John bit his cheek, smirking as he walked over top of him and then kneeled down, straddling him,

"Oh Frank. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk" he clicked his tongue, "Sometimes, I wonder if your sin may have rubbed off on your wife" John watched as Tom pulled her from the window, crying at them through the glass, he smiled. "You know; the things I could do to you" he grabbed the collar of Franks shirt, ripping it and revealing the word PRIDE on the old man's hairy chest. "I've been thinking about it a lot" Frank tried to get up, but John pushed his shoulders back in to the dirt, "We had a promise Frank" he waved his hand, "The first step in your atonement" he put his hands on his shoulders, and sighed, disappointed, "You failed" Frank tried to push up again and John grabbed a knife from his belt, holding it near to Franks chest. Franks eye's widened at the blade, his body starting to shake,

"Please, John" Frank begged,

"Did Laurie ever beg you to stop" John asked, his eyes going from the blade back to Frank. Frank was silent now, watching the knife press in to his skin, "I'm going to enjoy your atonement Frank. I think even more than you", he gazed at the knife, watching as the light from the house glinted off the steal, John shivered, "I'm definitely going to enjoy this" he caressed Franks shoulder with his free hand, as if he was assuring him. "I guess… I could do it right now, save Joseph the trouble" John said quietly, he pressed the knife in, making Frank take a sharp breath, and Jackie scream from inside the house. _Fuck, she's annoying_. John stopped. "But, I don't think Joseph would be very pleased" he slid the knife down Franks skin, cutting in to him and making Frank cry out and his body jerk. John smiled. "So" John said excitedly, "You, and me, we're gonna go on a little road trip; and then, by the end of this night, maybe even the next one, you'll know what it means to atone for your sins" he held Frank down by his shoulders and smiled, "And then, I'll carve that off your chest and I'll set you free",

"You're a monster" Frank tremored,

"No. I'm the one that takes all the monsters out" John said quietly, "Now. Get up".

* * *

Sat inside the back of the van, the bald man sat opposite them had taken the cuffs off. Laurie lay her hands on her lap, taking a deep breath as Ads sat himself closer. Laurie wrapped one of her arms around him,

"What are they gonna do to us" Ads said quietly, there was no fear in his voice, only worry,

"You haven't done anything, don't worry" Laurie said, she sucked in a deep breath, a wave of nausea washing over her. She put her head down,

"You're safe boy" the man opposite said, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward,

"See" Laurie said, but Ads sighed and put his head on her shoulder, she squeezed him a little and then looked back at the man sat opposite them. She'd seen him before, but she couldn't figure out where. Perhaps he'd been one of them who'd given them such a warm welcome at the ranch that first night.

"Your lip" he said, gesturing to his own. Laurie brushed her fingers against it, it came back bloody,

"It's not the first time" she said. Laurie licked her lips, tasting the metallic scent of blood and wiped her mouth again with the sleeve of her jacket, staining the grey red. "Where are you taking us",

"The ranch". The guard looked back at the cuffs he was holding, fiddling with them. After a moment, he looked up at her and smiled, "Relax. John'll go easy on yuh" a smug smile crossed his face as he sat back, "Might not turn out the same for dear old dad though". Laurie felt her stomach sink and Ads squeezed harder, as in response,

"He deserves everything John gives him" Ads said.

The words didn't exactly make her feel any better.

When the van finally came to a stop, she heard Randy outside, complaining about something before he opened the vans back door,

"You look like you're gonna die" he said to Laurie as she pushed passed him. In all the commotion, everyone seemed to have forgotten that back seat driving made her travel sick. She went and leaned up against one of the crates, taking deep breaths and trying not to vomit. Randy patted her on the back,

"You're useless Dominic" she heard him say, "Come on little sheep".

Laurie and Ads followed Randy around the back of the ranch, going through a door and in to a corridor, the spotlights flickering on as Randy pushed through the door on the left in to what he told them had been a second dining room, now full of bunk beds with trunks in front of them. It had patterned rugs on the floor and it's own taxidermy bear head mounted above an old fireplace on the far wall.

Randy showed them over to a bunk in the corner, telling Laurie that he would see her back in the hall once she'd put Ads to bed and washed up a little, not forgetting to mention that she would much rather use Johns bathroom because theirs were not a sight that any lady, or man, should ever have to lay eyes on. Sitting there with him, Ads hadn't said much. Randy had already assured him that they would be okay, that he'd be safe, but the teenager wasn't worried for himself, he was worried for Laurie. He didn't want John hurting her because of what Frank had done.

Eventually though, despite how much he fought it, Ads fell asleep, whether it was from the heat, the days happenings, or the bliss that Randy had put in his tea, that finally made it happen, Laurie kissed him on the forehead before she made her way up to Johns room. She pushed open the double doors, waiting for the lights to flicker on before she let them close behind her. It looked just like it had when she'd stayed there just a few days before, she was even sure the sheets were ruffled just as she'd left them.

In the bathroom, Laurie looked at herself in the mirror, a bruise was already forming beneath her eye, and the side of her lip had started to swell. She hadn't realised he'd slapped her so hard, or, maybe she'd done it when she'd fallen, she didn't know. She wiped off the dried blood, caressed her cheek a little in hopes that it would quench the hints of pain and then splashed water over her face.

Outside, she leaned over the balcony, watching as the sun finish setting behind the grey clouds of a storm that hadn't graced them yet. John didn't look as if he was back, which she wasn't sure was a good thing or not. In the hall, Randy had given her a cup of tea - which she still didn't like, but was most likely infused with bliss - and left her to wait. She sat on the couch, placing the cup on the table and watching the fire as it started to die. After a while, she lay down, resting her head on the arm of the couch. It wasn't that comfy, but before she knew, she fell asleep looking up at the antlered chandelier above her. She hadn't even realised he had one, but, it was John; of course he did.

When she woke up next, the fire had died, but the morning had come. It took her a moment to realise where she was, and then to realise that she had a blanket over her. She turned over to the fire and felt something move by her feet. Looking down, she saw John sat on the edge of the sofa, his head resting on his hand as he looked down at a book. Laurie looked back at the fireplace, remembering back to the night before,

"It's a nice couch to sleep on, is it not" John asked, pulling her from her thoughts, she glanced back to him, but he hadn't looked up from his book,

"Uh" Laurie pushed herself up, an ache in her shoulders as she brought her legs towards her and crossed them, hearing her bones click, she shook her head and John smiled. It took some getting used to. Laurie leaned her head on the couch, watching him. She was about to ask what had happened, but it was as if he'd read her mind.

"Your father's alive, mother and brother are fine. A set-back in your atonement" John said, he waved his hand, smiling as he looked over at her, "That's okay", he looked back at the book. "He's gonna spend a few days at the compound with Joseph" there was bitterness in his voice for a moment, "Remind him what it means to atone for his sin", he was silent then, turning the page of the book, he bit his lip, thinking about the way Joseph had sent him away, like a child, but then he glanced over at Laurie, "You look terrible",

"Thanks" Laurie said, she turned her eyes down to her hands. She could feel the swell in her lip. John reached over and touched her cheek with the back of his hand, leaning in closer as she looked up at him,

"Should heal though" he said. Lauryn felt herself tense, that flutter in her stomach. Those eyes of his. They were so easy to get lost in, to drown in that she didn't realise how close he'd got when his radio made a noise and he pulled away, feeling his breath as he breathed out a sigh and reached back, switching it off and putting it back on the small side table,

"Shouldn't you get that" Laurie asked, a little breathy. John smiled as he looked over,

"No, today, we sit down and we talk" John said. John sat back and put his arm over the back of the couch. Laurie didn't want to talk. She didn't want to even want to think about what had happened the night before, but he sat there, as if he was waiting for her to say something, but, what could she say. That she'd lost control? That she might have hurt him had he not been there? That her father might have hurt her more...

He already knew that, so why did she need to tell him. John picked at some lint at his jeans and flicked it away. "Tell me more about Tom" he said. Her brother, although he'd been stood right there, had done nothing but watch as the panic had broken out.

Laurie shrugged, "There's not much to say really" she looked away from him, back at the blackened wood in the fire, "He used to be a drug addict. Heroine; crack. You name it, he probably had it at one point" she glanced over at John, seeing the small hints of a smirk on his lips, as if he was remembering something, "Overdosed who the hell knows how many times, went to rehab. Tried to kill himself, succeeded one time - before I brought the fucker back to life" Laurie said, she shook her head, John turned to her, Tom had told him some of it already, but he hadn't mentioned that,

"How old were you", Laurie thought for a minute,

"It was probably about five years ago. So, twenty-four" Laurie shrugged, "Been clean since then though. As far as I know anyway" she leaned her head on the couch, "I don't know if it was 'devine intervention' like my father said" imitating his preachy voice, "Or it's because I threatened to kill him myself" she shrugged, "And. My method didn't include a needle or a straw", she sighed and smiled, and John cocked his head, "But, other than that, he's a good guy, deep thinker, he'll give anything ago". Tom had been right, Laurie knew his flaws, could even admit them, but she was quick to defend him, to forgive, and she spoke of him with such charisma, you'd think she was saying nothing, but nice things about him.

"He's a coward" John said. Laurie looked down at her hands and nodded,

"Yup" she said quietly, "He's never been brave, my brother. He 'talks the talk, but never walks the walk'". Laurie sighed, "He's trying though. I think it's just because he was so… Zoned out? when all hell broke loose that... he never had a chance to be afraid, or to care, and now he's not; he's experiencing it all for the first time and he doesn't know how to deal with it",

"Your father won't be a problem anymore" John said,

"You said he was alive" Laurie sat up, John smiled,

"He is. You'll see him in a few days. He'll say sorry and then he'll promise never to lay a hand on you again",

"And you believe him" Laurie asked, because she didn't,

"No" John said, the bitterness returned, "But we must have faith".

Despite what he'd said, John quickly realised that talking would get them no where, and instead, decided to show her and Ads - who'd spent the morning fishing down at the river with Haiden, the bald guy from the van - the hangar, and, his pride and joy, his plane, an AdJudiCor FBW he called 'Affirmation'.

"Everything about you just screams obnoxiousness" Laurie said as she ran her hand along the side of it whilst John and Ads cooed over the interior like only boys would. Laurie stopped at the Edens Gate symbol and then glanced up at the machine gun that sat in the back seat. She wondered, for just a moment, if he'd ever used it, but decided it was best not to dwell and looked over at Ads as John helped him in to the front seat, they seemed far too engrossed in all the cooing to even realise she was still there anymore. Leaving them to it, Laurie walked over to some crates and climbed on top, sitting herself down as she leaned back and continued to watch them.

Ads was sat in the front now, John standing on one of the wings as he leaned in, pointing at various dials and buttons as Ads kept him talking. It was a side to John she'd never really saw before. He seemed, genuinely happy, like he wasn't trying to put on an act for anyone, like he was actually enjoying himself. That edge, that tone to his voice that kept everyone that one step away from him, it was gone. He was allowed to be himself, not Josephs brother, not a herald, not a Baptist, not even John Seed, just John. And, it made her feel bad; it made her look away when he glanced over at her, as if she was seeing something she shouldn't,

"Laurie" he said, "Come here" he held his hand out, looking back at Ads who was now clambering out of the plane on the other side. Laurie slipped off the crate and walked over, only taking his hand when he looked back to her, holding it out more. He knelt slightly, his hand snaking down her arm, making her whole body quiver as he pulled her towards her,

"What are you-" he grabbed her under the other arm and hoisted her up on to the wing with him. Laurie grabbed on to his shoulders as his hand went around her waist, placing her down on her feet. She could feel her heart beating out the back of her throat.

"Only fair" his voice was strained and he bit the inside of his lip, making himself step away a little, his hand falling from her waist. Laurie let go of him, her hand brushing his arm as it fell to her side; she saw the hairs on his arm stand on edge and then made herself take a breath as he moved towards the front seat, "Come on" he said, more composed now, more John Seed like. It was almost like he was angry at himself, but Laurie ignored it, for his sake as much as hers and stepped next to him. She intended to keep a little bit of space between them, but instead, John grabbed her by the arm, almost a little too forcibly, and gestured for her to get in. Using him, she climbed in to the seat. Laurie would rather admit that when he was like this, when he had this essence of coldness to him, that he didn't make her skin tingle, but he did.

John wasn't as infused in the conversation as he told her what did what, not like he had been with Ads, but maybe it was because Laurie had no idea what he was talking about, or because John was fighting the urge not to look at her all the time.

Ads hadn't noticed anything. He was currently sat in the second seat, looking over the machine gun. He moved it from side to side, resisting the need to pull the trigger as he aimed it at the arcade machine behind them.

"It's empty" John told him as he looked back, "Can pull it as much as you like". He looked back at Laurie who was staring at him with her brow raised, the tension was gone,

"Don't" she warned him and he smiled, he pushed away, slapping the side of the plane as he looked between them,

"Come on, we'll go have breakfast. Then I'll take you home".

* * *

After John had fed them scrambled egg on toast, which had taken him much longer than it should have, and Laurie and Ads had questioned whether or not he'd caught fire and died, he drove them home in his truck, stopping a couple times to point out some good fishing spots to Ads before he parked up outside their house.

"Any trouble" he said, he pulled a radio from the glove compartment and passed it to Laurie,

"Thank you John" Laurie said, hearing the beep of the radio as she switched it on,

"I'll see you soon" John said, Laurie nodded. John smiled and then looked back at the wheel as she got out, grinding his teeth as she closed the door over. Laurie looked at him threw the window and he raised a hand to her before he drove off, back down the road,

"Dads wrong about him" Ads said after a minute, Laurie turned to him, "I think he's weird. But, I don't think he's the monster dad wants him to be", Ads looked at Laurie, "Not really",

"Maybe" Laurie said. She sighed. "Are you ready", Ads took a deep breath and then turned to the house,

"He's not there, is he" Ads asked,

"No, he's with Joseph" Laurie said,

"That's good" Ads said quietly, taking the lead and pushing the front door open.

Jackie was in her usual place at the sink, washing dishes, her old hands turning even more wrinkled and pruned than they already were, and Tom was sat on the couch, flicking through static, his eyes red as if he'd been crying. He stood when he saw them,

"I'm-" Laurie put her hand up, shaking her head, she knew he was sorry, he didn't have to say it, "Did he…" Tom asked, a big-brother sort of tone to his voice,

"No" Laurie said, "Nothing". Jackie turned to them, tears in her eyes as she choked back a sob. Laurie went up to her, wrapping her arms around her mum as her head fell on to her shoulder. Tom would never understand how Laurie found it in herself to forgive them as easily as she did; but, if she could do it, he could to.

* * *

Two days passed without any concrete news of Frank. Randy told them that he was fine, that he was still at the compound, that he was atoning for his sins, which only made Jackie cry more once he was gone. The worst thing was, she didn't cry because she was scared that her husband was hurting, she cried because she knew what her husband was like. She knew how far he would go to make them believe something. She was far more scared of him than any of the men he called monsters.

That second night Frank was away from home, Randy came over in the truck, asking Tom and Laurie to come with him. Tom had asked why Jackie hadn't been invited and Randy had shrugged and told him John didn't think it was a great idea if she was as close as she would be, but not be able to see him.

"What are they doing to him" Laurie asked,

"Their treating him how prideful men should be treated" Randy told her, he leaned back, "Like dirt" he added through gritted teeth.

Laurie could live with that.

The rest of the drive was quiet, the light starting to fade as they turned in to Henbane and then, completely disappearing as they turned in to the compound.

Once inside the church. Joseph was stood at the front, shirtless, gazing over the cults bible at the altar with his back to them, John was stood in the corner with Jacob and Faith was stood on the other side, looking utterly and completely lost inside her own head. She was so much younger than any of the brothers, probably not even twenty,

"She's really hot" Tom whispered as they sat down next to Randy,

"I think you both need better taste in people" Randy whispered bluntly, which Laurie glared at him for and then proceeded to nudge Tom, so he was looking at Joseph and not gazing at Faith. Joseph turned to them, composed and calm, but the words he spoke, they were dark, a dread filling Laurie up as he spoke of the collapse, of the path, of the sacrifices they would have to make. But then, he stopped, letting the words go cold before he started to sing.

 _Amazing grace._

Slowly, the rest of the congregation stood and started to join in. Laurie kept quiet, a shudder overcoming her as she listened to the haunting beauty of the song. Somehow, she found Johns gaze and she saw the corners of his lips lift in to a small smile, as if he was assuring her everything was okay before he looked back to Joseph. Laurie felt the tension start to lift away as the song came to an end, but then, the doors to the church were pulled open and three men walked in. Everyone but Joseph turned to look, finishing the end of the song before proclaiming,

"Something is coming. You can feel it can't you" the three men got closer, and it was only as they passed by their seats that Laurie realised that it was Sheriff Whitehorse. He had a U.S Marshall and a deputy of sorts trailing behind them, "That we are creeping towards the edge… and there will be a reckoning" Laurie felt her stomach drop as she grabbed on to Toms sleeve, "That is why we started The Project. Because we know what happens next", the three men stopped in front of Joseph, his voice sounded with more urgency now, but he was still composed, as if he was in the midst of inspiration, "They will come. They will try to take from us. Take our guns, take our freedom. Take our faith. We will not let them",

"Sheriff" the Marshall cried quietly,

"Cool it" Whitehorse said, putting his hands up as the Marshall, allowing Joseph to continue,

"We will not let their greed, or their immorality, or their depravity hurt us anymore! There will be no more suffering", the Marshall was getting more impatient now,

"Sheriff"

"Cool it Marshall" Whitehorse said gently, but, the Marshall couldn't,

"No. Fuck this. Joseph Seed. I have a warrant issued for your arrest with the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm. Now, I want you to step forward and keep your hands where I can see them". Joseph raised his hands,

"There they are… the Locusts in our garden… You see they've come for me. They've come to take me away from you. They've come to destroy all that we've built!", that's when it started, people moved from their seats, forming a line in front of Joseph, almost like a barricade; Randy joined them, but Laurie saw Johns hand gesture to her to stay put, to pull Tom back as the Marshall pulled out his gun,

"Drop that service weapon" the Whitehorse said to him, "Stand down. Stand down", Laurie had to give it to him, he seemed as if he was a peaceful man at heart, a good man even. But even good men can be wrong. Joseph was the one who hushed the crowd, stepping through line of men and women that separated them, he put his hand on their shoulders, assuring them,

"We knew this moment would come. We have prepared for it. Go. Go… God will not let them take me."

They did as they were told, Randy gesturing for Tom and Laurie to follow him.

Joseph looked to the men as they left him, proclaiming, "And I saw when the Lamb opened the First Seal, and I heard as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts say, come and see… and I saw, and behold it was a white horse… and Hell followed with him. God will not let you take me."

The Junior Deputy, with his combed back hair, his crooked nose and his baby face, had put the handcuffs on Joseph almost immediately, goaded by the Marshall and he'd been led out. The church-goers, that had scattered around the yard watched as Joseph walked passed. He was so composed, so calm, it's as if he truly knew it would happen, as if he'd planned it all out inside his head. Which made Laurie realise before all of them that this was the moment Joseph had been waiting for.

John and Jacob stood at the door of the church, watching as their brother walked down towards the helicopter at the end of the compound. They both looked just as calm as Joseph, but Jacob had this little smirk on his face - as if he was just waiting for something to go wrong. John, John looked like his usual self, complacent, composed and almost as if he was utterly oblivious to the fact that his brother had just been arrested.

That's when the gun shots started though, the kick of a rifle spraying bullets in to the air and, whilst Jacob stood still, as if soaking it in, John looked as if he almost froze, sucking a small breath through his teeth. Laurie looked from John back to the helicopter, watching as it started to rise in to the air with people clambering all over it, falling and pushing, and then... Then, someone threw themselves in to the blades of the copter and it fell out of the sky.

The reaping began, but, Josephs hell escaped them...

* * *

 _Thanks so much for reading! This was a hard chapter to write, and I hope I did the characters justice. And, I didn't intend for it to be this long, it just sort of happened... Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!_


	18. The Betrayal

Chapter Eighteen – The Betrayal

It hadn't even been an hour since the helicopter had caught fire. ANd Joseph had survived with almost no indication that he'd crashed out of the sky.

Jackie was with them now, Dominic had picked her and Ads up on the way from the ranch, but, instead of making the half-asleep teenager listen to Joseph, he'd been sent to one of the convents to sit with the other children.

"One last chance to run" Laurie said to Tom as he leaned on the wall of the church near the door, up against the painted words of a quote from John the Baptist,

"After what you just saw, you think the outside is any better than this" Tom asked quietly. She didn't have a clue.

It was then their father walked in. He looked at them, but there was no glare, no feeling, it was as if he hadn't even acknowledged their presence. On the outside, he looked fine - he looked fed, perhaps a little tired considering the bags under his eyes - he walked with a little limp, as if he had an ache from sleeping awkwardly, but overall, he looked fine. He just didn't... see them...

But still, somehow, Laurie ended up stood next to him. The church was much fuller now, almost every inch of space covered. He still hadn't looked at her, but Laurie could see that look of brooding in his eyes as he stared towards the front.

"My children, the reaping has begun. They came, they tried to take me away from you. God would not let them. Now, I stand here, and I ask you to help me. I ask you to walk the path, to willingly sacrifice yourselves in the name of the garden we have created. I wish for you to be free. Free from sin, free from…",

Laurie turned to her father then; his hands were fidgeting, pulling at something at the hem of his pants,

"What are you doing" she said quietly as his eyes shifted from her to Joseph, and then to John who was stood that little bit closer,

"What the Sheriff could not" he said quietly, a look of insanity in his eyes as she spotted the gun.

Her father had gone insane.

Completely insane.

Before she could even fathom anymore than that, Tom turned to look at them and, within moments, two shots had been fired, one to the front of the church and another right in front of her, and the mass of people that surrounded them had gone in to a violent frenzy.

Before Laurie knew it, she was on the floor, her body being held down as she searched the ground for Tom. She found him lying there, fretting over the blood on his shirt. His own blood.

"Tom" she cried and he found her, her name leaving his lips as he raised his hands, covered in blood. "No" she tried to pull herself towards him, but a kick to her stomach made her heave as she rolled on to her back before she was yanked up. Somehow, she sort Randy out in the crowd of people, he was desperately trying to get to her, "Don't let him die" she managed before she was pushed, smashing in to a pew before she blacked out, a sharp pain in her head being the last thing she remembered.

When Laurie woke up, she was in the back of a van. Her head felt as it was about to explode, and her parents, they were sat there in front of her, their arms tied and her mums head slouched over, sobs rushing out as if she was some sort of waterfall. And her father was there, this slight smirk on his face as he breathed deeply, staring at the floor. "What did you do" Laurie said quietly. He looked over,

"I did what had to be done" he said,

"And what was that" Laurie said, she choked back the lump in her throat, "Shoot your son", she'd heard the two gun shots, she'd seen Tom go down. Now, thinking about it, she was even sure she saw Joseph flinch, a bullet finding its way in to him before the rapture had started.

"I was aiming for John" he admitted, even if he thought Joseph was his target, the monster next to him had been the one he'd really wanted to kill.

"Well, maybe you should have aimed better then" Laurie said as she put her head back, she coughed and spat out some blood, "Because we would have been better off. If you've killed Joseph" Frank looked away, even he wasn't sure, "If he dies, there's nothing to save you from Johns wrath. He wouldn't… just…" she didn't want to think about it,

"And Joseph wouldn't" Frank said, the last few days had been torture enough, and then John, just this morning, he'd straddled him once more and threatened to cut the sin from his chest. But, the more he thought about it, the more he knew she was right, but he was bitter, and prideful, and that was not something he was about to admit, "I-"

"Not like John" Laurie said,

"And you and him still…" his voice was so judging, so composed now, it made her blood boil, fuelling the rage igniting inside of her,

"What do you expect" Laurie asked, "What would you do if someone shot your brother, or your son" Laurie scoffed at the thought, "Oh wait, you wouldn't do anything, would you",

"Laurie. That was a mistake" Frank said, he sounded genuine in that moment, as if he was truly upset about it, but he'd always loved Tom more,

"Bringing us here was a mistake. Letting your pride overtake you was a mistake. When are you gonna own up to the fact that this is all your fault",

"Like your not to blame" he spat,

"I'm not" Laurie said, "I've done everything they've asked",

"You've fucked John" Frank spat from where he sat,

"No I haven't" Laurie scoffed, slamming her feet down on the ground, "I don't need a man to make me feel better about my life. And if I did, it wouldn't be him".

"I've seen the way you look at him, the way he looks at you",

"Well I have self-control dad" Laurie said, "I don't make stupid fucking decisions",

"Like when you pushed me to the ground. Your own father" Frank asked, he tried to make it sound mocking, but, even he was starting to wain; the doubt was creeping, it would always be creeping,

"Be fucking lucky that it was John who got to you first because at least then you had your life",

"Do you know what he did to me" Frank said, his voice strained at just the thought of the threat he'd imposed upon him,

"You deserve worse" Laurie spat,

"You-" the truck came to a halt suddenly, throwing them up against the sides of it,

"By the father, if you don't shut the hell up, I'll come in there and put you all out of your miserable existence" the driver said. They didn't recognise it, and Laurie put her head down on her knee's. This was it. They were absolutely fucked.

If it had been Randy, Dom, it may have been a sign that it was okay, but they were fucked. Each of them, and Ads. Ads was still there. Alone.

What would they do to him. Laurie looked up at her father, about to ask him if he could live with the blood of two of his children on his hands, but he was staring at her already,

"You are either with us, or you are with them" he told her,

"What is that supposed to mean" Laurie spat.

There was a noise, another gun shot that made Jackie flinch. The truck start to go quicker, as if it was trying to outrun something, but then it jerked to the side and veered off the road, the driver falling out dead and left lying in its wake as the van crashed in to a tree and turned over. They were thrown about the back of the van, Laurie smacking her head and falling in to blackness. She heard mindless mutterings as she felt herself be dragged from the van, it sounded like her parents, but she couldn't be sure. Words she couldn't make out amongst the pain in her head turned to mumbles as she blacked out.

Waking to something dripping on her face, Laurie opened her eyes to the greying clouds, finding herself lying in the grass, she could see the moon hovering above her. It was so dark.

"Mom" she cried, "Dad" she shut her eyes again, trying to feel where she really was, trying to come to her senses, but she was still lying in the grass. Laurie opened her eyes and pushed on to her knees, her head hurt, her leg hurt, her arms hurt. Everything just hurt.

There was no one else with her, the van had caught fire and exploded just down from where she was. She'd heard voices though. After the crash.

Why drag her out, but leave her.

Was she dead?

Getting to her feet was a struggle, but somehow, she stumbled from the grass and back on to the road. It was quiet, only her and the rain now.

For a moment, she forgot where she was, why she was there, why she'd been in the truck, but then it came rushing back.

Tom getting shot, Joseph, John, her dad, Ads.

Ads.

"Mom" she called in to the night again, more desperate now, "Dad" the words fell on empty ears, "Anyone" she said quietly. Nothing. Limping forward a little, she tripped, falling down on the ground and lying there, looking up at the sky.

She didn't know if she fell asleep, but the next thing she knew, she could hear voices again,

' _Where are the other two'_

' _Is she even alive'_

' _Why would they leave her'_

Laurie felt a hand encircle her wrist, checking her pulse,

' _I don't know, get her in the van'._

Laurie woke, slouched over, a sick feeling in her stomach that made her heave. She threw up in her mouth, making herself choke before she fell to the floor, using her still tied hands to proper herself up and throw up some more,

"Stop, stop" she heard someone cry in the background, but, if they were talking to her, they had no chance. But then, the motion of the world began to slow, and a hand grabbed her to stop her going forward as the van came to a stop. The smell of vomit reached her, burning her eyes and her nose and she pushed away, falling out the back of the van as someone opened the door, not grabbing her in time.

"Shit, are you okay" was all she heard before she blacked out again.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys!_

 _I had a revelation of my own whilst writing the next few chapters! It all clicked together, and I'm so happy it did!_


	19. Loyalty

Chapter Nineteen – Loyalty

Laurie felt... okay, when she woke up. She felt tired, but nothing hurt - her head was clear, her limbs didn't ache. It's as if it the night before had never happened.

Not wanting to open her eyes and ruin the moment, she tried to move her arms, to put them under her head so she could just... sleep it all off; only to find them bound above her head.

The moment ruined itself.

Opening her eyes to the familiar scene at Josephs compound, in what she thought might have been their hospital room, Laurie pulled at the ties that attached her to the bedpost in a panic, only for it to disipitate in to nothing as a sweet taste washed over her.

Whether she fell back to sleep or not, the next thing Laurie would see was a lady with red hair was stood in front of her, a drawstring bag in one hand and a knife in the other,. She maybe should have scared her, but her head was so clear, so free that it was as if she was some sort of angel, her voice calm and serene, despite the things she said,

"Now, listen here girl. I'm going to cut the rope, you're going to change, I'm putting these on you" she dangled the cuffs she'd had attached to the buckle of her jeans, "And then, you're going to go where I tell you and keep that mouth of yours shut", she came around the side of the bed, "Yes". Laurie nodded, not finding any inch of resistance left inside her. The Bliss.

The lady cut the ties off and her arms fell, a relief she was only allowed to saviour before the red-head pushed the bag of clothes in to her stomach and said "Change". She turned around for only a few seconds, seemingly just removing the cuffs from her buckle before she turned back around.

It seemed privacy wasn't something she'd get, but, at that very moment, Laurie didn't really care. Pulling both the blood-soaked and vomit covered t-shirt off, she replaced it with a white tank and a grey jacket with the Edens Gate symbol dyed on to the back of it.

Then, she just sat there. As if waiting for nothing, she'd almost forgotten what the woman had told her.

How much bliss had they given her?

The red-head picked her up by the arm, pulling her to her feet before guiding her to the door, to the outside. A hush came down around her, whisperings of sinner and sinful, and mothers and fathers reaching her ears. Whether it was the fresh air, of the bliss just wearing off, it made her feel sick, it made her stop, to try and search for the faces she knew, but the lady just kept pushing her along.

"Come on sinner" the lady said,

"I didn't do anything" Laurie said, she stopped, the want to go forward was waining,

"Exactly" the lady said and pushed her again, making her fall to the floor. A couple of men came towards her, but Laurie got to her feet quickly - or as quickly as she could - scared that they weren't opposed to kicking her when she was down, even though they looked sympathetic. They stopped. There was no anger, they just looked sad.

Was Joseph dead? Laurie looked up at his church, realising now that was where she was being guided. Had her father killed The Father? Had he killed Tom?

 _Tom_

The thought made her stop again, only for the woman to push her, making her stumble forward and fall over something and in to one of the crates,

"Get up sinner",

"What the fuck" both women flinched as someone stood between them, "I told you to wait until I got back", it was Randy,

"She-",

"She didn't do anything" Randy told her, he looked to Laurie and then knelt down, she was on her knee's, her head leaning against the crate, he put her hand on her shoulder,

"Her-",

Randy grinded his teeth together, spitting the words at her quietly, "Fuck off before I tell John what you did", the red-head flinched back at the name, putting her head down as she stepped away, "And you" Randy looked up at the people around them, "You better hope the Father doesn't find out that you all just watched", Randy looked back at Laurie, she was completely out of it. He'd told them not to give her so much, but they'd almost rammed the vials down her throat. That's why he'd gone to Joseph first, to say she'd be useless until she slept it off.

She hadn't done anything wrong. And, fuck it if he was going let them punish her for what her father had done.

Whether she passed out, whether a day went by and she just didn't know it, the next time Laurie woke up, it was still dark.

Had the collapse come and they'd been thrown in to darkness?

All she really knew was that, everything hurt, and she wasn't in a room full of beds, she was in one of the convents, in a room of her own. She could hear singing coming from the outside, see the top of the church from where she lay through the window,

"Thought you were never gonna wake up", Laurie flinched at the voice, turning to Randy who was sat next to her. Everything rushed back at once then, all tumbling from her mouth as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat at the same time,

 _Ads. Tom. Joseph. Tom._

"Slow down" Randy said gently, he brought a small vial out of his pocket, "One at a time",

"Don't. No more Bliss" Laurie begged, Randy sighed, a small smile as he put the vile down. "Is Ads",

"Absolutely fine" Randy said, he leaned in "He was hear a couple hours ago. Dom took him fishing",

"Tom" she asked, the word choking her up,

"He's alive. He's stable" Laurie took a deep breath,

"Joseph",

"Fine. The bullet only grazed him",

"I didn't know" she told him, she went to get out of bed, "I didn't know that he'd do that", Randy put his hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down,

"I know" Randy said, he sighed, "But you knew he'd met with the Sheriff, right" Randy didn't want to believe it, but he could see it in her face,

"Yeah, but I didn't, I didn't think he'd, he didn't" Laurie pushed herself up, "I knew he had his doubts, but not like that. He said he wanted to kill John, in the van, he-" Laurie shook her head, "He's still bitter, he-",

"Your explanations don't mean anything to me Laurie. I believe you" Randy said,

"Really" Laurie asked,

"Yes, Laurie" Randy leaned back, "I believe you".

"What's gonna happen to me" Laurie asked, she remembered back to the van, back at the house, remembered the words they said against Joseph, John. The monsters. The cruelty. The torture.

And then the mutters, they turned in to words.

 _Leave her._

"You'll go to Joseph, you'll tell them what you told me, and then, they'll decide your fait",

"My parents left me" Laurie said to him, "I heard them say to leave me", they'd left her with the men they thought so highly off, "Where are they",

"They escaped us" Randy said, "For now",

"What the fuck is happening" Laurie asked,

"The reaping began".

* * *

"I ask you to trust me, to pray with me, and to obey me. They tried to take me away from you. They failed. The collapse is coming. The Whitehorse has brought hell to us and we must prepare for the unexpected",

Laurie was stood at the back, Randy supporting her by the arm, so she didn't fall, but she felt the Fathers words just the same. He was wearing a tux now, no sign of a bullet or a wound. Randy said it had grazed him.

Joseph looked over at her, his eyes finding her, and it's as if the whole congregation got drawn with it, all of them turning to her. She hadn't felt any sort of dread or judgement from Josephs stare, but she could feel it in theirs.

"Leave now, my children, prepare yourselves. Save every soul that you can" Randy pulled Laurie out of the way as the people walked passed. They were wary of her, bitter, but some smiled, out of spite, sarcasm, sympathy, she wasn't sure. "Laurie" Joseph said when they'd all left. It was only now the room was empty that she saw John and Jacob stood to one side, Faith on the other, twirling her hair as she spun so gracefully around. "Come here my child" Joseph said as he held his hands out, beckoning her to him. Randy let go and Laurie took a few steps forward. John was looking at her with this sorrowful look which only seemed to last a few seconds before he stood up straight and put his hands behind his back.

Jacob hadn't moved, but Laurie could feel him judging her. Every step, every moment. It made her want to walk a bit taller, a bit steadier, and, as if her body agreed, it did. Jacob stopped then, folding his arms and leaning his leg on one of the steps up to where Joseph had been stood.

Faith was still twirling around, as if she had no use of the world,

"Do not fear my child" Joseph said as she reached him, he leaned his head on hers, "If we start to blame children for their parents sin, this whole project shall fail" he said to her, releasing that little bit of tension in her belly, "But, children can lay foul to what their parents do" he said, "I must have the truth. You must tell us everything", she felt like it was a lie, like he already knew, like it was a test, but still, she nodded,

"Okay" Laurie said, she didn't know where to start, but Randy had mentioned the Sheriff and, she guessed that was as good a place to start than anywhere. "My dad… The Sheriff. He came to our house, he wanted to talk. He…" she glanced over at John who hadn't moved, still staring intently at her, "He took him to one of your cleanses. He said there were people that weren't so… willing" Laurie felt a haziness come over her and she reached back to sit down. Joseph kneeled in front of her,

"He came, and he said the Sheriff wanted him to decide what side he was on" she glanced quickly at Jacob who was now looking towards John, as if he was studying him, "And then, then he took him… to the mountains. That day we came to the ranch" John took a step closer, "For the rod. He said about people being burned alive…" Laurie sighed, "The Sheriff told him something was coming, that it wasn't the collapse, but something else" Laurie looked at Joseph, "Since then, I haven't seen him" She shrugged her shoulders, none of them had, he'd been here, atoning for his sin however they thought he should, "But, I saw the gun… And I… I didn't know… It was. I don't know" Laurie put her head in her hands, all she could think about was Tom. For once, he'd taken a stand, he'd been brave, and he may have paid the price for it.

"When it comes to parents, children will always try to find a reason for the things that they do, no matter how bad. It's the only way they can cope, no matter the age, or the outcome",

"There's more" John said, and for a moment, she thought he heard a hint of desperation in his voice, a change to that calm composure he always held but, after tonight, she wondered if under all them layers of John Seed; maybe he was just as scared as she was.

"He wanted to kill you" she said, looking over at him before looking back at her hands. Joseph turned to him. John had known.

"His pride will be his downfall" John said, he didn't sound scared.

"His loyalties have changed" Joseph acknowledged,

"No, they haven't" Laurie said quietly, Joseph turned back to her, "His loyalties have always been the same, he's a force only to himself, no one else",

"It just remains now then… who are you loyal too" Laurie didn't answer right away, and the hesitation made her think of all the things they might think, all the things they could do to her. But then, she looked at Joseph and he didn't look angry, not an ounce of impatience, he just looked as if he understood.

"The sheriff said that you would tear our family apart" she looked over at John and he came closer, "My father hated you" she said to him, "But" she sighed, chocking back a sob she didn't even know was there, "They… They left me…" Laurie leaned back, "They left me to die on that road… Or worse. They left you to find me… Monsters…" Laurie sighed, "If they had any real love for me. Why did they leave me… They..." Laurie sighed, she'd never understand it. "I can't say I would have risked my life for my dad. He never loved me. I don't think but, my mum. I love her. She was my mum, and she left me. She put us over him; she can't risk his wrath, but she can risk losing us".

Years ago, her mum had promised that she would never leave her like she'd done that day they'd kicked her out. Yes, her mum was a coward, yes, she'd let her husband say terrible things, she'd let him torture her children, but she'd never left. She'd never run away. She'd kept her promise. "Do you really need to ask me where my loyalties lie when the people I should be loyal too left me with the same people they hate".

Faith, who she hadn't even realised was sat next to her, put her hand on her shoulder. A chill went down Laurie's arm as she leaned in,

"You're apart of us. Of our family. We would never betray you like they did" Faith promised, Laurie nodded slowly, her voice was song-like, child-like. Joseph stood, pulling Laurie up with him. John reached out, touching the small of her back as Joseph leaned her head on hers again,

"We will never betray you" he said, "But, you may still betray us" he said quietly; quietly so that no one else seemed to hear, she felt her stomach sink, she didn't know what he meant, but, could she honestly say that she wouldn't. "Now go, rest, the reaping has begun, and we need every man and woman at their strongest" Jacob stood, a glint in his eye, smirking as he turned and walked out the back of the church. Joseph nodded at John, squeezing his shoulder as John looked to her,

"There may be hope for you yet little sheep" John said, he put his arm around her waist, holding her up so her legs didn't stumble as he lead her out of the church. Laurie stopped,

"Is hope all we have",

"And faith" John said.

Laurie wasn't sure that would ever be enough.

* * *

 _Thank for reading! And for the reviews too! It's always nice to see that people are still enjoying this!_

 _I kept changing the description of this story, but I think I've finally found one I like and essentially, really sort of depicts what I'm trying to acheive!_


	20. Torn

Chapter Twenty – Torn

In all honesty, she hadn't wanted John to leave her. Just like that night at the ranch, when she'd just poured her heart out to him, she almost asked him to stay. Just for a little while. Not even to sit down and talk, just for someone to be there. Because, she knew, that if he was there, or anyone was there, she wouldn't have the chance to think about it all just yet.

The emptiness wouldn't swallow her.

But it did.

As she lay in bed, when the calm of sleep started to wash over her, when the aches started to ease, she felt the first sob rise up in her throat, and that calmness vanished, and she sobbed, and she cried, and she screamed in to her pillow. The pain, the anger, the hate, it was all there, and she couldn't do anything about it.

It was only when she felt the bed sink that she realised someone was there, and her whole body tried to tense itself up, to stop it from shaking, from sobbing. She had to be strong. She didn't have any other choice.

It could have been anyone, but when they started to gently caress and stroke the back of her neck, she knew who it was; her whole body literally screamed the name at her,

"I-",

"Shhh" John moved so he was sat up against the wall, one leg on the bed, one leg off. Laurie took a deep breath, her heart thudding as she sniffed back the snobs and then buried her face in the sheets. Wiping her eyes with them, she took another deep breath and then stared at the underside of the window.

A part of her thought that he'd come to tell her how weak she was being, how she shouldn't let it get to her, but, John wasn't Jacob. And, if John was anything, could be anything, it was her friend. And, like a friend would, he just sat there, stroking the back of her head, watching as her body tensed and tingled at his touch before it started to relax and enjoy it, and then, he watched her slip off to sleep.

Joseph kept telling him to stay away. To remember what his purpose was. To remember what it was they were fighting for. But. His job was to help people see, to help them atone, and because of what he'd done, the way he'd handled it, Laurie had suffered because of it. And, if he was honest with himself, he didn't care all that much usually. It was all a part of it, but, a lot had happened in a few short hours and, this was the least he could do; and if he could do this, just sit, and comfort her, maybe he could show himself that his own atonement hadn't been for nothing.

And, just maybe it would make what was to come, that little bit easier to deal with if she knew she had people she could trust.

* * *

The morning came, and Laurie woke up; the light had flooded the room, and, so had John. Aching, she pushed herself up and looked around, the door was open, and, before she knew it, Randy was walking in with a tray, steam rising up from it - eggs and bacon, she hadn't realised how hungry she was until that moment,

"Come on now" Randy said, placing it down on the side table next to her, "Eat. We got things to do",

"Are you being serious" Laurie found herself saying, "Did last night not happen" she put her hand on her head and laid back, the smell was so enticing, but still, her head felt as if it might be slamming itself against a brick wall,

"It did" Randy said, "And Toms fine by the way" he smiled and crouched down, so he was eye level with her "Got shot in the stomach, but, they've patched him up, he'll be fine",

"Ads",

"A little upset, I think, I don't know, kids a treasure trove of emotions, isn't he",

"He shouldn't have to go through any of this" Laurie turned over.

"No, but he is, and he'll be all the better for it in the end",

"I need to see him" Laurie said as she sat up,

"He's already gone Laurie" Randy said, Laurie raised her brow,

"What the fuck are you on about", Randy looked down, he smiled before he looked back up at her,

"Joseph decided it was best if you three got split up" Laurie shook her head slowly, "We don't know where mam and dad are, and, well… Let's just say their spreading the responsibility out",

"What" Laurie said, "Wh-",

"Tom's going to Henbane with Faith" Laurie shook her head, "Ads is going to the moun-",

"No fucking way" Laurie told him, she stood up and so did Randy, "No fucking way. Jacob's not fu-",

"And your coming with us to Holland Valley",

"No, no, no, no, you have Ads, I'll go to the mountains, no way is he turning him in to a killer",

"The reaping began Laurie, we all would have killed someone by the time we die, or the collapse comes. At least Ads will know how to do it quick", if Randy had any ounce of hope that, that would have helped in any way, he was more of a lost cause than Laurie could ever have imagined.

"No" Laurie pushed passed him, going outside to the courtyard. Jacob was stood there with his back towards her, almost as if he'd been waiting,

"Let me guess. The little sheep doesn't want to be separated from her flock" he glanced back, a cocky grin on his face,

"Fuck you Jacob" Laurie said, "You're not doing this",

"I'm not" Jacob told her, "Joseph is" he winked at her and started walking away, towards a convoy of trucks that had lined themselves up,

"Laurie" she heard John say from behind her, she turned to him and shook her head. She went after Jacob, pulling him back by the shoulder,

"I'll go, John can have Ads" Laurie told him, "He's not-",

"That's fine with me little sheep" Jacob smiled, he put his hand on her shoulder and with the other, brought up a radio, "Mavs, you got the kid" he said in to it, he glanced back at John,

"Ai boss, he's here" the radio said back, Jacob looked at Laurie, smirking as he brought the radio back to his lips,

"Tell him Laurie's says hello" Laurie stepped back, shaking her head, he was playing with her. Jacob patted her on the shoulder and turned away, continuing on to the truck,

"Jacob please" Laurie said, Jacob shrugged as he climbed in to the truck,

"It's the will of the father little sheep". Laurie took a step back, she felt Johns hand on her back and she turned around to him, she shook her head,

"Don't let Ads go there please. Please John", she put her hand on the sleeve of his coat, gathering up the material in her hand, John opened his mouth to say something, but he swallowed it back as his eyes found Joseph behind her. Laurie followed his eyes to him, "Don't tear us apart anymore, please" Laurie said to him instead, she didn't let go of John,

"Shhh" Joseph put his hand on her head, pulling their foreheads together, "This is for your own good. The reaping has begun. We must sacrifice what we know, we must find our purpose. Ads, Tom, you; you're all on a different path, a path that only converges once we march unto Edens Gate",

"Unless Tom turns back in to a drug addict" Laurie said as she pulled away from him, "Falling back in to the pit less hole that made him want to kill himself. Unless I go insane because I see some shit that I don't fucking care about, but I should", John touched the nook of her back and she moved away from him, "Unless Ads turns in to a killer and…"

"Laurie" Joseph put both his hands on her head, "Trust us" he said quietly, "Trust me", he glanced over at John who looked down at his feet. "Go and see your brother Laurie" he put his hand out, gesturing for her to follow Randy. Laurie sighed, closing her eyes before she looked back at John. He was still stood behind her, but he was talking to Doms brother Travis, he reached back, his fingers only brushing against her top as Joseph guided her towards Randy.

* * *

Tom was sat up in bed, a bandage wrapped around his stomach,

"Hey" Laurie said as she sat down next to him,

"Hey sis" he breathed, high on morphine, and whatever else they'd given him for the pain. Tom sighed. "If I ever try and do something like that again, please remind me that I'm a coward", Laurie smiled and grabbed his hand,

"Have you not heard yet" she asked, "We're all… going it alone" Laurie put her head on his hand, "They already took… They took him…" she swallowed back the sob as she looked up at him,

"I spoke to him Laur" Tom breathed, "He wanted to go" Laurie sat back in her seat. So, they'd let her brother speak to him, but they'd drove him off before she could. How was that even fair. "He asked me to tell you… To tell you that he'd be okay" Tom smiled and squeezed her hand, "He said you'd want to go with him" he scoffed, coughing following it as he flinched and Laurie put her hand on his shoulder so he didn't shake too much, he lied back, taking a deep breath, "But, he said, you couldn't" Tom smiled and closed his eyes, "Because, your happy in Holland Valley. With that weird ass 'colleague' of yours", Laurie shook her head,

"I'm still a little terrified of him" Laurie admitted, "It's…" she put her head down again, resting it on his hand,

"Messed up" Tom suggested,

"Yeah" Laurie said,

"You'll be okay Laurie" Tom said, "This is for the best. You know that". Did she? Laurie wasn't too sure. "We'll be together again, we just need time to… atone… to let go and…" he didn't sound too convinced, she looked over to him, her chin resting on his hand, he smiled before he looked over to her, "And, when we do see each other again" he tried not to laugh, it hurt too much, "You can tell me if the Bliss is better than the John-fucking Bliss". Laurie's shoulders slumped and she leaned backwards, letting go of her brothers hand.

He was gonna be fine. She was even starting to doubt that there was a bullet whole under those bandages now.

"Their tearing us apart" Laurie said after a moment, "Just like the Sheriff said", she hated it, but wasn't it true.

"No, Laurie, dad did that" Tom told her, "Not them".

* * *

The drive back to the ranch was quiet. Randy and a couple of men that Laurie didn't know were sat in the back whilst John drove. He hadn't said much to her since she'd come back from Tom, and if he'd said anything, it was to them all as a group. When they stopped at the ranch though, he didn't get out. He just sat there. Laurie wondered if that was it. If he was gonna go off to his bunker and do whatever it was he had to do, and then, just, leave her and the others to... whatever it was they were supposed to do...

Laurie turned her head to the door, but then John put his arm out to her,

"Are you okay" he asked, Laurie nodded,

"Yeah, I think I'm just tired" Laurie said; John looked away and Laurie smiled, "Last night was… interesting, to say the least", in all honesty, she didn't want to think about it anymore,

"I'm here if you need to talk about it" John said, Laurie nodded her head slowly. She wondered which part of the night he meant, but, she'd already decided not to dwell on it. No matter how much flirting, or affection that occurred, John had his purpose and she had his. Joseph didn't need to say it.

"How long has it been since the Whitehorse came" Laurie asked, the days before were all just a blur of hours and darkness,

"A couple days" John said, "A lot more souls",

"Lots of work to do then" Laurie said, he nodded his head,

"I'm gonna keep you at the ranch" John said after a moment, as if he'd been debating it in his head, and he hadn't been told by Joseph to do just that, "Randy, Dom, a few others will be stationed there as well".

"What's the plan exactly" Laurie asked,

"You'll continue with your prepper stashes" John said, he was staring out the window "Randy will help, Doms got his stuff to do, I'll… be around",

"So, it's all a go then" Laurie said quietly,

"It is" John said, "Randy will show you where to sleep. Won't be as comfy as my bed, but" Laurie looked over to him, her brow raised, "It'll do", she smiled and John leaned back, a small smile of his own making him take a deep breath as he opened the truck door, "Always welcome to it though" he added before getting out and Laurie sighed, smiling as she watched him and one of the other men walk up to the ranch. Laurie would forever need a manual on the moods of John Seed, and, it would probably be nice to know how serious he was because she was not looking forward to spending the night on the same sort of 'bed' that Ads had spent that one night on.

She would rather take the couch.

* * *

Randy did indeed take her back to the room where she'd put Ads to sleep,

"He lied, didn't he" Laurie said, only realising it then,

"Who" Randy asked as he sat on his own bed, a couple away from where Laurie's was,

"John. He said there were no other beds",

"Well, if you wanted to spend the night after you poured your heart out in a room full of men" Randy shrugged a shoulder,

"Fair enough" Laurie said, she sat down,

"Ems here now though, at least you'll have some female company",

"Whose she" Laurie asked,

"A local, big mouth, greedy, bit lustful" Randy said as he leaned back, "Wants to save her soul from the collapse, you know, usual sort".

Em was nothing of the usual sort.

"You're Laurie, aren't yuh, the British girl whose daddy tried to shoot the Seeds". Laurie had to give it to the girl, she didn't scoot around the bush,

"That's me" Laurie sat down next her,

"My Names Em" she put her had hand out and Laurie shook it,

"You from around here" Laurie asked,

"Yeah, Henbane way" she gestured to the east with her head, "Used to live with my mamma, but she died" Laurie raised her brow, "No funny business or nuthin. Cancer", Laurie nodded, "Joined up here after she asked me too. Told me my aunt was wrong, told me this was the best place" she looked around, "Hell, if anything, I guess I got a nice tattoo from it" she pointed to her chest, the word Lust tattoed on to it, "And that guy, John Seed. Damn, he's a sight for sore eyes, ain't he" she leaned back,

"Definitely" Laurie said,

"Do you know him much" Em asked,

"Not really" Laurie said honestly,

"Shame" Em said, she tapped her chin before glancing over at Laurie who'd sat herself down on the steps, "I wonder if he's gay, you know",

"Why" Laurie asked, she'd never got that vibe off him, but, it was John,

"Cause I tried to fuck him and he said no" Em shrugged. Laurie smiled, letting out a little chuckle,

"He must be if he used the 'N' word",

"I know right, offt, that… that's a loss to us women",

"Or maybe, he's just… not interested" Laurie wondered, not sounding all too convinced herself,

"Their all interested honey. Flaunt a bit of skin, some tight clothes, you'll see the eyes wander" Em smiled, "Nah, he's not gay, maybe a bit bi" she tilted her head from side to side, "But, the reason he's not interested in me, is cause he's too interested in you" Em smiled and Laurie put her head back and sighed, "So, you can tell me all about it",

"About what" Laurie asked,

"What fucking John Seed is like",

Laurie wondered when it was she should just start agreeing with people even if it weren't true.

It's not like she hadn't thought about it. He was hot as hell. But, he was also the most strangest and complicated person she'd ever met, and that terrified the shit out of her most of the time. He made her complicated look normal.

"We haven't…",

"Really" Em asked, "Why", Laurie shrugged, she looked to Johns truck that was still on the drive,

"I got enough sin to atone for, I don't need any more" - which was partly the truth...

"Oh come on, I didn't say multiple fucks did I" Em shrugged, "And, gotta indulge sometimes, don't you",

"I…",

"It's all about control" Em smiled, "That's what my mamma always used to say",

"I don't think I'd have much if I indulged just the once" Laurie told her. The night before, she'd been upset, he could have easily caught her unaware – that little bit of control she had would have fell away for him, but he hadn't. He'd been a gentleman, and, Laurie couldn't fault him in that.

"Guy probably be an animal too" Em suggested,

"Guys probably fucked half the county too" Laurie found herself say, a slight bitter tone as Em laid back on the floor, flipping down her shades as she put her arms behind her head, the local smiled,

"I think we might be the best of friends my gurl" Ems said.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys! This came a little later than I hoped it would, but I've been away and I've not had the time to look over stuff! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little chapter!_


	21. The Broadcast

Act II

Chapter Twenty One – The Broadcast

"Fuck me, how can you be so fucking adorable, but creepy as sin at the same time" Laurie leaned back and tilted her head at the tv,

"You, me, even the father know's deeply of sin", on screen, John circled his hand on his chest,

"Still though, look at them baby blues" Laurie said as she folded her arms, continuing to watch it anyway. The man had a way with words, and coupled with the fact that he looked devilishly handsome in his coat with the little aeroplanes on it, you had yourself one hell of an ad. Laurie could just imagine the people who would be sucked in by it all, despite everything. If she wasn't already behind them, it would have sucked her in too

He was offering a miracle of sorts, and in this world, why not take a chance and see where it got you.

It's not as if the world hadn't been built on blood and sweat and pain.

Randy sat next to her as a woman, in a green sheriffs uniform, her mouth covered with tape and absolutely terrified, came on screen, Laurie looked over at him, remembering the womans face,

"Is that",

"That Deputy. Joey Hudson",

"She looks awful" Laurie said,

"John tells me she's having a little trouble saying yes" Randy picked up the remote control,

"Her fingernails look intact at least" Laurie shrugged, only to realise after Randy raised his brow at her how insensitive she was being,

"Make-ups run a bit" Em said as she came in to the kitchen, "Fuck… that guy… he can strangle me all day if he wants" Laurie chuckled and Randy snorted a laugh, "What" Em said, "Come on, you can't tell me you wouldn't want those hands anywhere over you" Randy glanced over at Laurie who was still watching the TV, John now telling them that they you don't have to do anything, we'll come for you.

"I think you have a bit more experience with that, don't you" he said,

"Shut up" Laurie mumbled, taking the remote from his hand as the ad started again; she turned it off. "That's gonna draw that deputy straight here, he knows that, right" Laurie said as she stretched her arms over her head, hearing her joints pop; she'd spent two nights there and none of it had been peaceful,

"I think that's the plan" Randy said, "They took Falls End last night too, so, makes it all that bit more enticing for him to come here", Laurie knew. She'd heard it all over the radio. She saw Johns point, she could see how taking the 'pillar' of the community might rally up the people, but, what if rallied them to the wrong side…

"Where's he been hiding out anyway" Laurie asked, remembering the baby-faced deputy John was trying to entice out,

"With one of the locals" Randy shrugged, "Dutch Rosevelt",

"Why didn't you just go get him there then",

"No idea, stupid, but..." Randy shrugged. All he knew, was that they were under strict instruction to wait until the deputy came in to the valley to shoot him up. Laurie nodded her head, looking over at Ems who didn't seem so infused with the conversation anymore. As much as she believed in the collapse, it was almost like she was just a tag-along.

"You know what" Laurie said suddenly as she pushed the kitchen door open to the outside.

"What",

"I really don't like what you've done with the place" Laurie said, she twirled around, looking at the banner across the hangar, 'TOGETHER, WE WILL MARCH TO EDENS GATE', "And, fuck me, the way he says yes on that fucking tanoy gives me the creeps even more than that ad does", she walked over to the radio sat on one of the crates outside and turned it up a little, drowning out Johns little preaching session with 'Oh John' instead,

"Oh John, bold and brave, he's finding us a family, he's teaching us the way" Randy sang along as he almost skipped towards her, he had this opera singing sort of voice when he sang, all dramatic and slightly hilarious,

"Who even commissioned it" Ems asked as she followed them out, "I thought he'd want some sort of full-on rock anthem, you know". She danced herself around, flailing her arms as if she was at some sort of imaginary concert,

"I don't think that's the sort of… image… Joseph wants portrayed… Do you?" Laurie said, wondering why she'd suddenly been surrounded by sing-songy idiots…

"All the kids would be in to it" Ems said, she twirled away from them, almost as if she knew what Randy was about to say next,

"Come on, we got shit to do" Randy said as the song started to simmer down and in to the next one.

"Like what" Laurie asked,

"Got you a prepper stash little sheep" Randy said, "From the big man himself",

"Which big man" Ems interjected,

"Joseph… Got some intel from Jacob about a stash… Johns offered up your services" he nodded at Laurie,

"Did he now" Laurie said as she pushed herself up on to the crate near the radio. She hadn't seen John since that morning he'd brought her here. He'd been at Falls End, but, only Randy and Dom had gone out of the ones here. She'd been left with Ems, Ed – a low-key drunk, Uri – a Canadian guy, Ray – Ems squeeze, Tommy – one of the younger guys who probably snorted a bit too much bliss when he thought no one was looking, and then, there was Mike. He was a decent guy, but you could see the wrath in him. Despite how many burpees or push-ups or sprints he did, the guy always looked like he was going to burst.

And he hated being called a 'Peggie'…

"So, we're off to the mountains" Laurie asked, trying to hide the hopefulness in her voice. Randy sighed as he nodded,

"Won't be very close to Ads though" he shrugged a shoulder, and then nodded his head to the truck, "Sorry little sheep". Laurie breathed through her nose and then smiled, she knew it'd be too good to be true, but, it was much closer than she had been… And, she wasn't going to dwell on the fact that Jacob probably had his own people to do prepper stashes in his own region, and only wanted her because he was a dickhead…

"What is the great obstacle this time" Laurie wondered out loud,

"Gotta find ourselves a key card" Randy said,

"Can't just blow it up" Laurie asked as she made her way to the truck, "Is there a nice car inside". Maybe there were more dead bodies… She could imagine there'd be a lot more up there than there was down here… Or, easier to see bodies...

"Now, now, now, what would the fine residents of Hope County think of us if we were to blow everything up" Randy asked,

"Not much worse than what they do now" Laurie said.

The Elliot Residence was much further than Laurie anticipated it would be. But, the Whitetail mountains were beautiful, and, in some people heads, perhaps that would cover up the sacrifices dotted around the region, strung up like Jesus with brambled crowns on their heads, couple that by ignoring the fake calls of moose coming from each way and another, the mountains were breath-taking.

The Elliot Residence would have probably been a beautiful house too, nestled in the mountains, but now, it was blackened and charred, and looked like it had been the sight of a war zone. Bodies of the cult and county folk lay on the ground, bullet ridden or burnt.

"My dad said that he watched one of Jacobs men burn a man alive once" Laurie said quietly as she looked up at the top of the house, the words 'RESIST JACOB" painted across it.

John. He wasn't exactly great with the way he went about things, but, he was more lenient than Jacob was. All John wanted was a yes, you didn't have to be strong to say yes. Not really.

Or, that's what Laurie kept trying to tell herself, anyway.

Randy leaned on the bonnet of the truck and crossed his arms as Laurie turned back to him. How was he so calm in the midst of so much terror? How did he not go from each brother and sister splayed on the ground to make sure they were actually dead?

Because he knew it was futile. They'd been dead a couple hours now. Jacob had sent a convoy up during the night, and, in the midst of that night, a fire had reigned down upon them and in the smoke, bullets had flown and killed everyone.

"Apparently, there's a bunker here somewhere" Randy said, he picked at his finger nails,

"Isn't there always" Laurie said as she made her way around the house, crouching down to push some of the bodies on to their back to check if she recognised them. She wasn't looking for Ads, but, if only to put her mind to rest, she checked just to make sure.

The bunker, secured with a lock, which Randy was able to get open, lead them down to a small room and a key card door,

"It can't be far" Randy told her, "Probably inside the house",

"And why couldn't Jacobs men do all this" Laurie asked,

"Because they chose you to do it little sheep" Randy patted her on the back and ascended the ladder again, leaving Laurie to look through the doors small window and in to the blackness of the room beyond it. She hoped it was worth it. "You know, when we get back to the ranch, I think it might be about time you learn how to shoot a gun" Randy suggested as Laurie eventually followed him out, back at the front of the house.

"Maybe" Laurie said. Laurie took a deep breath before she went inside, but, to her dismay, all she found was barricades of furniture, a charred letter saying that the Elliots weren't gonna give-up without a fight, and another one of their cultist brothers-in-arms,

It wasn't Ads.

Laurie came back out, to where Randy was, she shrugged, "I can't get through anywhere", Randy leaned back on the truck and looked up, towards the metal twine on the roof of the house that jutted out. Laurie looked with him, seeing the smashed in window above.

Reaching up wasn't going to do anything for her, and, even when she jumped, she could just about get her fingers on the edge. Laurie looked back at Randy, but he was being unusually unhelpful. From what she could remember of the day, she hadn't said anything that should have riled him up, or put him in a mood, but, perhaps he was just tired of babysitting her…

Stretching out the responsibility… That's what Randy's reason was for them being thrown in separate directions… It was almost starting to seem like the responsibility had landed on him with John all too busy dealing with the stream of new souls entering the bunker these last few days, but then, he'd babysat a family of five before and he'd never seemed to mind…

Perhaps Laurie was just looking too far in to it…

Laurie pulled over some near by crates and stacked them on top of each other. She stepped up on to them and jumped, feeling the crates crumble beneath her as she got a hold of the roof and pulled herself up.

Avoiding the barbed wire, Laurie climbed through the window, finding another cult member who she rolled over, still not recognising them before passing more furniture that had been pushed over to make hidey holes and cover doorways, and to a window on the other side. She leaned out, looking at the forest and then at the roof below, the blood splatters. Laurie looked over to the other window, wondering if it was boarded like the other, but it was open, the glass smashed.

Clambering out of that one and on to the roof again, she put her hands on the window and looked in. There was a dead guy leant up against the wall, blood splattered all around him and his hand clutched around a key card. Taking the key card from his cold dead fingers, Laurie nodded her head at him. Whether he was a cultist, or a local resident who hated Edens Gate, he was a still a person, and, he'd essentially died for what he believed in.

Both sides would be rife with martyrs by the end of it, she only hoped that their deaths would be worth it in the end.

Because, collapse or not, it was a horrible waste of life.

And, that thought would lead Laurie outside, slipping herself off the roof and passing the key card to Randy before going and sitting back in the truck. She didn't much care for what was inside the bunker, but she did wonder why it was Jacob could not have sent his own men to finish such a meaningless task. There would be other more amble than her, able to jump a couple feet off the ground without the help of some boxes.

So why had Jacob wanted her to do it. John was supposed to have offered her up, but why ask for someone else, but your own in the first place?

Laurie looked up at the words written across the top of the house.

'RESIST JACOB'

A broadcast to the world that the residence of Hope County weren't going to say YES as easily as they hoped.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _It dawned on me that, although the first twenty or so chapters were almost like the build-up, they formed their own little story on their own, which, I think is why that should be allowed to be a part in itself, and this here, is the second part. Now, how many parts this story could have is unknown. I have a finished outline, and I know whats going to happen and when, it's just whether it all comes together as it's written!_


	22. The Cleansing

Chapter Twenty-Two – The Cleansing

Laurie had been in the hall, lying on the sofa, when she'd heard news of Falls End the next day - being taken by the Junior Deputy - Henry Wyatt - and a dog Randy told her was called Boomer. The same dog that John had gone to all that 'trouble' to acquire at the local Pumpkin Farm; only to have the Deputy roll in, shoot everyone up and take the dog for himself. Doms brother, Travis, had come back from the neighbouring outpost just moments after he'd heard the gun fire and found his men dead. Even skinny Jack lay waste to the Deputy's rage.

The carnage didn't stop at Falls End though.

The night had ended with the Deputy tearing through the valley in a monster truck Ed called the 'Widowmaker', and laying waste to their men left, right and centre.

It was no surprise that John was pissed.

And then, then the deputy took both the Garden View Packing Facility and U.S Auto outposts days after each other, and John decided that it was time the Deputy was brought in to be cleansed - to start the long, (most-likely) torturous journey of his atonement. And, be reunited with Hudson.

Randy had the honour of shooting the Deputy with a bliss bullet that brought him to his knees in seconds, along with the damn dog that had attempted to bite at him before running off.

Two for the price of one. John would be pleased.

* * *

Laurie was privy to the Deputy's baptism, watching as the scene unfolded from the truck on the road. Dom was sat in the drivers seat, slouched over the wheel as they both saw John raise the cults bible in the air and start to preach. There were three people that were lowered in to the water, the Deputy the furthest away, Randy also having that honour of dunking his bliss-filled body under the water.

The Deputy was brought up. In a daze, Randy led him over to John and they all watched as John pushed the Deputy back in to the water, Laurie went to push the door open, but Dom held his hand out, a silent plea not too. And she quickly realised why as Joseph passed by her door, making her want to shrink back in to her seat.

"Do you mock the cleansing John" Joseph asked, John froze, stepping to the side, his head down,

"No Joseph" his voice was so small, Joseph cut him off,

"Shh…You have to love them John. Do not let your sin prevent that" he held both his arms out, "Bring that one to me", the Deputy felt as if they glided over to him. Joseph put his hands on his shoulders, bringing him close, "Despite all that you have done, you are not beyond salvation. You are not here by accident, or by chance. You are here by the grace of god. You've been given a gift. Now, it remains to be seen if you choose to embrace it, or to cast it aside"

John was stood next to them now, his head still lowered, Joseph put his hand on his shoulder, bringing their foreheads together,

"This one shall reach the atonement, or the gates of Eden will be shut to you John" Laurie felt his words just as much as John did. He'd given everything to this project, and, as Joseph walked away, she saw John look at the Deputy, not able to see or hear the words he said.

John gestured for the Deputy to be taken, Randy guiding the Deputy back over to the van they'd come in. John looked to the truck where Laurie and Dominic sat and Dom started it up, the small gesture from John, that even Laurie hadn't seen, telling them to go. He met her eyes for just a moment, and she thought he looked a little lost almost, but, she could see the envy in them too, the betrayal.

John had given everything to this. And this one guy, who'd killed their brothers and sisters like they were cattle, Joseph favoured him, and he had no idea why. What was so special about him? John watched as the trucks started to drive off. He wanted to be alone. Just for a moment.

But. It was times like this that he needed something to keep him going.

A hit. A drink. Maybe even a fuck.

But instead, John took a deep breath of the Montana air and told himself that he was better than that. That it wasn't what he wanted. Not anymore. He knew Joseph was right. He knew he had to love his new family, and he did, he just didn't feel as if any of it was enough. And nothing he did, would ever be good enough for Joseph.

Although, maybe if he could make the Deputy see, it would be. He'd be able to show Joseph that he was good enough. That he had atoned for his sins, that he was willing to help people.

Now, sat in his truck, all he needed to decide was whether he went to the bunker or the ranch. The bunker was safer, and he had to deal with the Deputy, but the ranch was tempting that side of him he was trying to quench. But, sometimes, putting yourself in way of temptation, it helps prove that you can do things you didn't think you could.

The burst of noise from the radio decided for him.

* * *

The ride back to the ranch was silent for both Laurie and Dom. Laurie remembered back to the conversation she and Joseph'd had, about John not knowing when enough was enough, not knowing when to stop. And, now, she couldn't help, but think, that Joseph wasn't helping. She understand that what he did to the Deputy was wrong, but to say that he wouldn't be able to reach the Garden he'd, essentially, built off his own back - more than any of them - because of a guy who went around killing people. It made it sound as if all he'd done, was meaningless.

The were just near the Ranch's driveway when their radio burst in to life. Dom stopped, and they both listened as the cries, the pain, the shouts; all radiated through the soundwaves as explosions went off in the background,

"The Deputy…. He…. Fuck… Blowing…" the radio cut out, and off in the distance, they saw the lights from a near by bunker,

"Oh God" Laurie said under her breath, her heart starting to thud as they watched the light start to spread, a fire raging across the hillside as mortars went off all over the place. But suddenly, it stopped. The mortars went cold, and the fires started to bellow out. And, a light in the darkness hovered away.

A helicopter

"How much you wanna bet the Deputies in that" Laurie said,

"How much you wanna bet Johns gonna be extra pissed",

"I don't think 'extra pissed' is gonna cut it".

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys!_

 _Just a little short one for you all! I've had a crazy time at work, and, I just haven't had the time to write enough! I'm looking forward to these next few chapters though!_


	23. Mercy

Chapter Twenty-Three - Mercy

"Why hasn't he gone after him" Laurie fell back in to the chair, "What the fuck you guys playing at",

"Joseph said to let him go… For now" Randy shrugged his shoulders,

"And John-"

"John will do what his brother says. It's the will of the father" Randy told her before he left. His patience was starting to wain thin with the girl. He knew what she was like, knew how cynical her mind was, but, sometimes, it's just easier to accept what happens. Safer.

* * *

It was later in the day when Randy came back, he had his rifle on his back and a handgun in the holster around his waist,

"Where you off too" Laurie asked as she stood up, stretching out the aches. She was ashamed to say that she'd been sat in the same chair since she'd woke up that morning, watching Johns ad in between snippets of other ads. She couldn't tell you why she did it. Maybe she wanted to suss the ad out properly, or maybe she just missed having him around.

Her life was also in the constant, mind-boring loop. Watch Randy and Dom leave in the morning, eat dinner with Em, patrol the grounds, eat some more, patrol some more, go to sleep, and the next day, do it all over again. The routine, it was probably good for her, nothing to make her angry or have a need to scream or shout, or hit anyone. But if this was what Edens Gate was offering, why had she joined up in the first place.

"I'm going with Dom to try and persuade Mr. Rye that joining Edens Gate is better than what's to come",

"Rye? As in Rye and Sons Aviation", she'd heard of it of one of the others.

"Aha, you wanna come" Dom said as he walked in, having pulled back that mane of his in to a tight bun,

"I don't-",

"Come on Rand, when did you start caring so much" Dom said as he pulled the pistol from his belt and handed it to her. Laurie took it and looked it over, looking back up at Randy who was shaking his head as he left, and then to Dom who shrugged at her and turned around, "Come on little sheep",

"And, how are guns gonna persuade Mr. Rye to join us" Laurie asked as she followed them out, there were a couple of men sat in the front of a grey van she didn't know just off the driveway.

"They're not, their just for if he decides that we overstay our welcome" Dom explained,

"Why is it you Americans like your guns so much? Do you just like killing things",

"Gotta have some way to protect ourselves" Randy said,

"Protect yourself with the things you need protection from" Laurie nodded her head, "Smart", Randy snapped at her,

"How about-",

"Randy, come on man, what's up with you today" Laurie took a step away from him. Randy was about to say something, but Dom's glare told him that if it wasn't nice, to just keep it to himself, so he did,

"Nothing… nothing" he pulled open the back of the van and gestured for her to get in, "Can't have everything your own way little sheep",

"She can ride with me" Dom said, patting Randy on the back as he passed him, heading to the truck behind. Randy rolled his eyes and then got in, about to close the door over, but Laurie stopped it, holding it open

"What the fucks your problem" Laurie asked him, "What have I done",

"Nothing little sheep. Nothing" he yanked the door shut and Laurie jumped back. Laurie looked over at Dom as the vans engine started,

"What's up with him" she asked, she'd started to feel the tension between them for a little while now. It had only been getting worse and worse. And, she didn't know why. Since she'd traversed that house, prepper stashes had been forgotten, and, she hadn't had any sort of opportunity to do much other than watch.

"It's getting tough out there. You don't see it" Dom said,

"That's not my fault though" Laurie said as she got in, "You don't give me a choice",

"It's dangerous out there Laurie" Dom started the truck up, Laurie shrugged, scoffing,

"And",

"And. You will probably get shot and die" Dom turned his head to her, his brow raised,

"Then show me how to use it then" she raised the pistol, "Properly",

"John",

"John's not here" Laurie told him, "And, what else am I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait for the Deputy to come to the ranch? Wait for him to shoot me there instead",

"Laurie. I'll show you. Just" Dom sighed as they turned a corner, passing by her old house, grabbing both of their attentions immediately,

"Why does it look worse than what it already did" Laurie asked, it almost looked as if it had been ransacked. They hadn't done a great job at moving the furniture already out the front, but they'd atleast organised it somewhat, but this, this was just a mess of old furniture and the stuff Joseph had gifted them,

"I don't know" Dom stopped the truck, "It wasn't like that yesterday",

"So, it wasn't you guys then" Laurie asked, looking to him,

"No. We wouldn't be that wasteful" he said,

"Guess we can thank the locals then" Laurie said,

"Seems like it" he started the truck again, "Once we've finished at the Ryes, we'll check it out if you like",

"Maybe" Laurie said quietly, sitting back. She hadn't been back since the night the reaping began. She hadn't really thought about it. But, then, the only memories it held was of the people she hadn't seen in what felt like forever, and the ones that had abandoned her.

"There's probably some good stuff still there, probably help us out a little more" Dom suggested, "And give you something to do as well",

"Are you trying to divert my path of imminent destruction" Laurie questioned, glancing over at him. Dom threw his head back and laughed,

"I can try".

* * *

Eventually, they caught up with Randy and his van as they drove up the road to the Rye's hangar. Dom got out, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket,

"What's that" Laurie asked,

"A letter from John" Dom passed it over to her to read, "He's giving Nick another chance", he'd already had far too many, but, John had said the path Nick would walk would just take him a little longer than others. He'd already had his sin tattooed on to his flesh, courtesy of John, and then he'd ran away, like a scared little bitch.

And now, now he was planning to leave. And, they couldn't have that.

"Playing games" Laurie muttered as she read over it, whilst Dom walked over to Randy and the others.

 _Nick  
 _The collapse I talked to you about has started.  
 _I know you want to protect YOUR FAMILY.  
 _The only way to do that is by joining OUR FAMILY.  
 _Our bunkers have everything Kim & Baby Rye will need to survive.  
 _There are dozens of expecting mothers and children here already with us.  
 _This is my final plea to you.  
 _Say YES.  
 _ _John Seed__________

In all honesty, John was right. The rest of the county weren't ready for the collapse. And, if pride and all the rest was forgotten, maybe others minds would be clearer to the impending doom that was coming. Or, they'd just reject it anyway cause change scared people more than the normality they craved.

As she caught up with the rest of them, she handed the note back to Dom who walked towards the back of the hangar, heading for the house behind it. Randy and the others were already inspecting the planes sat in the hangar, one standing out from all the rest.

It even had teeth.

"You bunch of cultists fuck can get off my land" Laurie heard someone shout as Dom came towards them,

"Take it, come on",

"Take what" Laurie asked as the group disbanded, descending on the plane as, who she suspected was Mr. Rye himself, came towards them,

"No. No. Get off my plane" Nick went to go towards them, but the two men that had come with Randy, stood in front of him,

"It's for your own good",

"Fuck you. You Peggie shit" he pushed forward, and one of the men pulled his gun over his shoulder, aiming it at him. Nick took a few steps back, "Man, come on, it's my plane", he looked over, catching Laurie's eye before looking back at his baby.

He loved that plane.

"Please, just", his words were deafened by the planes engine starting up, Randy in the front seat, yelling something as it started to roll forward, that same smile on his face that he'd had when he'd took that monster truck.

This didn't feel right though. There was no thrill to this. No win.

It's owner, was stood there, this hopeless look on his face, guns aimed at his head,

"Nick. Leave it. It's just a plane", Nick turned around,

"But baby, that's our-",

"Please, Nick, just come back inside" a woman, heavily pregnant and struggling was stood behind them. Nick took a few steps back, but the men stood in front of them held their guns higher,

"Please" he said, glancing back at his wife. Laurie looked to Dom,

"Dom, leave him alone, you have the plane" Dom looked over at her, sighing,

"John wants him-",

"Dom, his wife is pregnant, he's probably just… He's probably just a baby brained as she is" Laurie told him, "And you just decided to steal his plane" Laurie took a few steps backwards from him, "I think he's had enough for the day, don't you",

"He will just-"

"Sometimes, it's best to just walk away"

"Playing games Laurie" Dom asked, "If we walk away now, nothing is achieved",

"Dom, have some mercy on the guy". Dom looked down at his feet, he sighed, a small smirk on his face as he looked back up at her,

"You're really using your atonement as a leverage here, you know that, right" Dom shook his head and then turned to the two men, "Guys, get back in the truck", they both nodded, stepping backwards before they turned around, walking away, and Nick Rye stepped forward,

"I'll get you back for this you Peggie bastards",

"NICK", he looked behind him, slumping as he seen his wife stood there, her hand on her stomach.

"I think I need myself a Nick Rye" Laurie joked as she got in,

"Why" Dom shrugged, "You got a John Seed, ain't that enough for yuh?",

"Not you too" Laurie said as he started the truck, still watching Nick as he tentatively walked back to his wife, embracing each other as they turned back and watched them drive away, the plane already in the air doing turns this way and that, as if showing off to the county that the cult would and could do anything they wanted,

"Hey, it's not for me to judge" he held his hands up, another smirk on his face,

"Dom, there's nothing-" Laurie still hadn't looked at him yet, still watching the Ryes as they turned away, walking back to their house with Nicks arm on Kims shoulders,

"I know little sheep. Still though. Isn't he enough for you anyway".

* * *

Laurie was stood on the runway as Randy landed the plane. He'd been gone for a couple hours extra, making sure the new merchandise was up to scratch.

"Have fun" Laurie asked as he guided it in to the open hangar,

"You wanna give it a swirl little sheep",

"You wouldn't let me drive a truck, but you'd let me fly an aeroplane" Laurie asked, "Really",

"Making it up to yuh" Randy said as he climbed in to the back seat, "Go on, get in".

It wasn't the greatest of her ideas, but still, she climbed up and jumped in the front. It wasn't much different than what John had showed her that time she'd sat in his, which, was sat next to them. Gathering dust. Randy leaned over her, pointing at things. If she'd been more naive, she may have said that he smelt as if he'd been rolling around in some sort of grass heap, but it was definitely weed (or oregano) that she could smell on his shirt.

"Now, little sheep, press this button, pull that, that" Laurie did as he said, the plane starting up, starting to go forward before she knew it. She jerked the stick, stalling the plane and falling backwards in to the seat,

"Come on, you can do this" Randy sat back, "Rinse it, repeat it". Laurie sat there a moment, wondering if she wanted too. It didn't feel right. Not really. But then, then she'd wanted to drive that truck, and wasn't this the same thing? Or was this worse because she'd seen the guy they'd took it from.

"I don't think I want to" Laurie said, "Not tonight anyway",

"Well, aint going nowhere, maybe tomorrow" Randy suggested,

"Yeah" Laurie stood up, turning herself around so she could climb out. Randy hopped in to the front, starting the plane up so he could reverse it back in to the safety of the hangar.

Ems was stood by the hangar door, waiting for her,

"You leave me all day, and then you consider flying a plane without me" she threw up her arms and walked away from her,

"Sorry?" Laurie said as she followed behind her, heading towards the back of the house with her,

"I guess I'll forgive you",

"I feel Blessed" Laurie said jokingly, patting her on the back as she opened the door to the small hallway that led them to the guard's barracks. Laurie sat down on her bed, pulling off her shoes before lying down.

"I caught myself a fisherman earlier" Ems said as she lay back on her own, "Damn, made John look like a puppy",

"Did yah reel him in" Laurie asked,

"Nah, just as stubborn as our little blue-eyed pup" Em sighed and fell back on to her own bed,

"You still got your Canadian bombshell" Laurie reminded her, "No worries right",

"True" Em raised a finger, "And, I guess it counts as some control, right", she turned over, propping herself up with her hands beneath her chin,

"You ain't in control when you're the one asking for it",

"Obviously. But. When they do say yes. And they will. I'll be like, sling your hook mother-",

"Laurie" it was Dom, "Fancy a trip back to the Laurels".

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys!  
Sorry these updated chapters are taking so long. I got in to a slump for a little while (with everything) and just needed some time to get back in to the swing of things! I'm also excited for whats to come in this story, and can't wait to share it with you guys!_


	24. Letting Go

Chapter Twenty Four – Letting go

"I feel like this should affect me more than it does"

"Don't you feel like that all the time" Dom joked as he got out of the truck,

"Well…" Laurie trailed off as she spied her parents drawers, empty of clothes and everything else her mother had meticulously folded to pass the time – and please that father of hers. "Maybe they just needed some clothes",

"Or maybe mam and dad came back to get their clothes",

"Maybe" Laurie walked in through the front door, the lock was broken and it swung open easily, the hinges falling from their sockets. The sofa had been pushed over, almost like a fort of some kind, the tv lay face down on the floor, their side table was now sat in the kitchen, obviously used as a stool of some sort to search the cupboards, and, the handy ladder that let them escape in to the uttic was snapped and frayed.

Using just one half of it, and a bit of the upturned sofa, Laurie managed to grab on to the ledge and pull herself up. Although relatively untouched, she did notice the crumpled bed-sheets, and the smell, which told her that, there had definitely been something else living up there whilst they were away.

Accompanied with the fact that she found a sniper rifle next to one of the beds.

She knew Ads had a thing for guns, but she was pretty sure it wasn't his. She passed it down to Dom who was stood in the living room before climbing down,

"That's a fine specimen, that is" he said, he was a dab hand at sniping from long range and this looked as if it could do wonders.

Laurie peeked inside her parents room, finding the wardrobe doors opened, and the clothes gone from there too.

Inside her own room, it was slightly more of a mess, as if someone had looked through her little built-in wardrobe and decided to leave her clothes in a heap rather than on her hangars. She kneeled down next to the bed and slipped her hand under the mattress, pulling out the little black book Joseph had given her that day she'd gone to the ranch to talk about the bridge.

She still hadn't finished reading it yet. Clutching it tight, she went outside, the door gone and nowhere in sight. The bees were still buzzing away, as happy as they could be, and the bunker looked intact.

It was also locked.

And, no amount of button pushing or pulling was going to budge it.

"Gonna lend me a hand" Laurie asked, turning around to Dom. He wasn't there. Laurie followed the house back around to the front, watching as John got in to his truck and Dom turned back around to her, his head down,

"What…" Dom looked up at her, a trying smile as he took his keys out of his pocket and headed back for the truck,

"Time to go", Laurie watched as Johns truck drove away,

"You know, I definitely want myself a Nick Rye" Laurie shrugged, making Dom smile, a chuckle on his lips as he got in the truck,

"He just…" Dom sighed and put his head back, tilting it to look at her as Laurie got in next to him, "Told me he wanted Nick Rye brought in. Not to give him mercy",

"Well, it wasn't exactly your idea" Laurie suggested as she pulled her seatbelt on,

"No, but I can take the scolding" Dom said, he just sat there,

"And I couldn't" Laurie asked,

"Maybe but, atoning for your sins and all that",

"Should be proud of me if we're taking that in to the equation" Laurie told him,

"I wasn't talking about your sins Laurie" Dom said.

Laurie almost wanted to continue the conversation, but she didn't know who it was he meant. Did he mean himself? Or did he mean John? Whatever scolding John had given Dom hadn't seemed all that bad, he still had ten fingers – she'd checked – they were all scrunched around the wheel, almost turning white with how hard he held it, his shoes weren't bleeding so she guessed he had all ten toes too. He seemed okay. At least.

Unless the scolding would extend in to something more than a telling off. But then, John didn't seem like the one to wait.

"Is he pissed with me too" Laurie asked after a moment, "Like Randy is",

"No" Dom shook his head, "Neither of them are pissed with you",

"Is John gonna beat you up" Dom raised his brow as he turned his head to her,

"No",

"Are you sure" Laurie asked,

"Yes" Dom smiled, "I explained to him about Kim, about the… situation… the plane. He's a bit pissed about the call I made, but, like he said, everybody's human",

"What's Randy's problem then" Laurie asked,

"Randy" Dom shrugged, almost as if it was common knowledge, "Randy doesn't want to babysit you no more it seems",

"I'm nearly thirty years old. If I still need baby-sitting when I'm just sat at a ranch all day, bloody hell, put me in a crèche or sumin",

"Hey, I'm nearly forty" Dom told her, "Don't wish those two years of your twenties away. Don't throw your life away",

"What life?" Laurie put her head back, looking up at the ceiling, there were some inconspicuous splatters of something dark she'd not seen before,, "The one that's promised" she turned to him, "You know it'll be nothing like he says it will, right?",

"Doesn't that appeal to you", the mystery of it all excited Dom a little,

"Being hunkered down in a bunker for who knows how many years? Shit, let's hope we all like each other" Laurie looked at the black book she had on her lap, "We won't get to see the new world if we all end up killing each other cause of all the confined spaces" Laurie stroked the book with her fingers, "And then, emerging. The world will be flattened, or burnt, or salted, or whatever. It won't exactly be the bliss-infused paradise Joseph wants will it",

"No, but it'll be completely new",

"Forty years old and you still ain't learned" Laurie shrugged as Dom looked at her stupid, almost as if he was about to scoff at the thought, "The world can change Dom, earth changes every day. Now us" she leaned back, "People. I think we need more than seven years underground to change the way we need to" she tilted her head from side to side, weighing up the options, "Unless they dose up on bliss, and we become angels" she fluttered her fingers, "Or blubbering idiots. Either one would work, right?",

"Damn, are you sure you aren't on the wrong side",

"Depends on the day if I'm honest" Laurie shrugged, Dom laughed, shaking his head as he finally started up the truck,

"Is that all you need" Dom asked, nodding down at the black book on her lap,

"Yup",

"Nothing else at all", Laurie looked to him,

"Nope. Let whoever wants it, have it".

* * *

 _Hey Guys! Thanks for reading! I'm planning to get another chapter out this weekend, maybe two if I have the time! Sorry for how long it's taking inbetween! Work is still trying to kill me!_


	25. Fears

Chapter Twenty-Five: Fears

"See him" Em pointed down at the man on the river, fishing,

"Is that your new bomb shell" Laurie said as she sat down,

"It is" Em leaned up against a tree, gazing down at the man,

"Have you spoke to him yet" Laurie asked,

"A little" Ems shrugged a shoulder,

"You haven't, have you" Laurie pushed herself up,

"Yeah, he just" Em shrugged a shoulder again, her eyes watching as he sat down on his little deck chair, waiting for a fish to bite. She could just imagine herself being reeled in by him, a mermaid emerging from the deep like a siren to gobble up anything he'd give to her,

"I'll talk to him for you" Laurie suggested, she went to walk towards him, but Em pulled her back by the shoulder, sauntering passed her and down towards the river.

"She shouldn't go anywhere near that bastard" Laurie turned to Ed.

If Randy was smoking weed, then Ed. Ed was drinking whiskey every hour of the day. Slowly falling in to the abyss.

"And why should she not" Laurie said, turning away from them all and walking back towards the ranch,

"Because he's a sinning bastard",

"Like you" Laurie said,

"He tried to steal my wife" Ed slurred at her as he followed,

"The way you act. You sure she didn't want to be stolen" Laurie asked him. She'd lived with the guy since she'd arrived at the ranch. She hadn't spoken to him all that much, he was a low-key drunk who spouted some shit every now and then, drunk a lot.

Nobody else had said anything, so, neither would she, but, that didn't mean she had to be nice to him.

He seemed to throw up, or something, a weird noise, maybe even a laugh came from his mouth, it made Laurie gag a little,

"You think…"

 _Great. Now the bullshit starts…_

"You think that just because your Johns little bitch…" Laurie turned around, walking backwards, she was looking forward to this, "Just because he's fucked you all over that ranch-",

"Well, I would tell you what I tell everyone else Ed, but" Laurie shrugged her shoulders and turned back around, "But then, I'd probably be wasting my breath cause you would have forgotten about it by the morning", he didn't even realise she'd said anything,

"You think you can say shit",

"Do you fuck him too" Laurie asked, she spotted Randy smoking a fag, "Cause you say shit as well" Randy snubbed it out as they both came towards him, flicking it away before folding his arms,

"You'd like that wouldn't you" Randy took a step towards them as Laurie turned around, "Bet you got lust tattooed on that pretty little chest of yours. Just like that slut down at the river", Laurie glanced at Randy,

"Come on, he's not asking for it" she asked,

"I bet he has… Ain't he Rand" Randy looked over at him, a brow raised,

"Ain't. Who. What",

"John. Bet he's had her all over that ranch of his" Randy smiled and Laurie shook her head, a sigh leaving her as she turned back to him. He was about to say something else, but she was already stood in front of him,

"Laurie" Randy sounded as if he couldn't be asked, the fake care in his voice as he leaned back, watching,

"You wanna know what I got tattooed on my pretty little chest" Laurie grabbed him by his collar and his feet stumbled, making her have to try and pull him up as he fell forward,

"Go on, bet you do it for John all the time" he clicked his tongue and then threw his head back, a cackled laugh leaving his voice box as Laurie let him go, letting him fall,

"Why is he such an ass" Laurie said as she looked over at Randy, a smirk on his lips,

"Is he wrong" he asked,

"You know what, you're a fucking dickhead" Laurie said,

"I bet you have Johns d-" Laurie swung around, grabbing the now standing Ed by the collar and pulling him towards her,

"I have wrath tattooed on my chest. And now, I suggest you shut the fuck up. Unless you want everyone to know that you got beat up by a girl",

"You couldn't bea-" Laurie punched him in the face, her hand smacking in to his cheek as he twisted around,

"Laurie" Randy cared now, but Laurie was already walking away from him,

"Bitch" Ed said under his breath as he pushed himself up, leaning himself up against some steps before he brought out a small flask. Laurie couldn't care. It was the Em thing that had got to her the most. Sure, she wasn't great at atoning for her sins, but, neither was he.

Retreating to the guards barracks, Laurie went and lay on her bed for what seemed like perhaps an hour, or two, just letting herself calm down. She was fine but, Randy had insisted, telling her that he wasn't worth any of her wrath, or her time, and she shouldn't have fallen in to his trap as easily as she had.

Randy was right. Laurie knew that but, the never-ending cycle of what her life was currently, it wasn't doing much for her or anything else.

Emerging as the sun threatened to leave the skies, Laurie spotted Johns black truck parked up near the hangar. Some of the men were stood outside, playing cards over one of the crates, Em was soaking up the last few remaining rays of the sun, and Ed was leaning on the balcony ledge, cleaning his gun. Laurie wasn't sure he could be trusted with on, but he looked sober now. His fingers nimble and soft as he rotated this and that.

Inside the ranch, the fire in the hall was illuminating the outside. Slowly, Laurie made her way over to it, peeking in as she looked for signs of John, only to realise that only Randy was there, stood up against the wall near the taxidermy cougar.

"You looking for me" suddenly rigid, Johns hand felt as if snaked around her neck, resting his palm on the back of it, before he walked passed, his hand still a little out stretched behind him, as if beckoning her to follow him.

He seemed okay.

"You know Laurie, my patience, although immensely large, it can grow small for those I know can do better".

Laurie stopped, not wanting to follow him anymore than she had.

The thought of him meaning the whole Nick Rye and mercy situation made her stomach turn, but then she saw Randy glance at her, a small smirk, maybe even a smile, which told her that the man meant the man she'd slapped only a couple hours before.

"I thought you were a cook, not a parrot" Laurie said as she let her fingers ease in to the sofa, she looked over at Randy as John turned around to them, his brow raised as he walked towards her. He quickly realised what she meant though, Randy shrugged,

"Just trying to help little sheep" the charisma in his voice almost sounded a little fake. He pushed from the wall, "Atoning can be a long, torturous path" he rattled on some more before he left, leaving both Laurie and John looking after him.

She almost wondered if she should tell John that he was most-likely high.

But then, this was John, the guy who always seemed to keep his cool and always be one step ahead of you. Or, what he liked you to think anyway. But, in this situation, and the way he so subtly brushed it away with a small shrug, Laurie knew that John knew. Which meant that all the attention was back on her again,

"What was it that he said to anger you as he did",

"Loads of shit" Laurie said, knowing Randy had probably told him word for word already,

"Come on Laurie, indulge me" John said, he sat on the arm of the sofa, leaning back with his arms folded, a tilt to his head, those blue eyes almost felt as if they were begging for the words to be said,

"He said some horrible stuff about Em" Laurie shrugged, "Said some stuff that wasn't true",

"And if it's not true, then why does it bother you",

"Because it's stuff that could hurt people" Laurie said, and it was true. Everything he said, or claimed, in the wrong ears. In a place like this. It wasn't exactly the best way to go about things,

"Do you not think me reasonable enough not to listen to the ramblings of a drunk" John asked,

"Yes, but, not everyone's as reasonable as you" Laurie didn't even know why she'd said it. John, despite how much of a façade he put on, was perhaps one of the more unreasonable men she knew, and, now, the way he looked at her, his mouth just a line, she wondered if he'd read her mind and found that out.

If he had though, he wasn't about to say it out loud,

"You need to let it go Laurie" John told her, he stood up,

"Well, when everyone knows that you fucked me all over the ranch by morning, you'd wished I'd did a bit more than punch him in the cheek – pathetically may I just add" Laurie pushed away from the sofa and John stopped a minute, taken a back as his brain registered what she'd said before watching as she, almost, backed away, back outside. John smirked, opening his arms as he took a step in her direction,

"Well, why disappoint them" he asked. Laurie chuckled, shaking her head, feeling her cheeks go red as she turned around,

"You're insufferable John Seed",

"People tell me that all the time. They've obviously never met you".

Laurie put her hands in the air, shrugged and then walked out, leaving John click to his tongue repeatedly as he turned back to the fire.

She was right. Things like that were damaging. Especially, if say, Joseph got word of it, but Ed, his drunkedness, whether he had fucked her all over the grounds of the ranch, making Joseph believe him over the drunken fool would be easy.

But then, the drunken fool might blow his own cover too – or the cover he thought he had – so John was sure that the words would never leave his mouth sober, and they were even less likely to leave his mouth drunk. If he knew what was good for him.

"You didn't say the magic word" Ems scoffed as Laurie came out, finding her sat on the steps just a little ways a way,

"What",

"Yes" Em said, she threw fists in to the air and pulled them back in, as if she were dragging something towards her, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes",

"Em, if I even think about going down that road. Run. Me. Over",

"Oh come on, you wouldn't want those hands wrapped around your neck, or your legs wrapped around his head", she fell back dramatically, as if in ecstasy just thinking about it,

"You need to stop" Laurie said as she sat down next to her,

"Hey, if imagining it feels good, just think how good the real thing is",

"And I thought my mom was bad" Laurie shuffled herself on to the next step down, stretching out her legs,

"Oh, come on, you've thought about it, right",

"Do you know how loud you're being" Laurie asked, "His head might just fucking explode, and I ain't taking the blame for it". Em shuffled down next to her, her voice quieter now,

"So, have you",

"Well…" yeah, of course she had. But, it wasn't something she could say she thought about all the time. She was attracted to John. She didn't know of a person who wasn't. But, the whole hot and cold thing, sure, she could banter with him, but deep down, it was just an act. Because, she had no idea where she stood with him. And John, supposedly always one step ahead, didn't either. And that, that was dangerous.

And a disaster waiting to happen. "Do you forget who he is" Laurie asked,

"No, but I bet he wishes you would",

"It's not that simple Em",

"No. You know what it is. You too deep girl. You don't want what you have to build. You don't want it to go to far. But, what you don't realise is that your both way in over your heads already",

"And sleeping with him would make it better" Laurie asked, wondering if Em even knew what she was talking about anymore,

"No, but it couldn't necessarily make it worse, could it". Laurie decided she definitely had no idea what she was talking about.

"You know, if Joseph-", a little squeak came from Ems mouth,

"Ohh, the real daddy" she licked her lips, she'd probably fantasised more about him than she had John. John was someone you could wear down, Laurie had proven that, but Joseph... Joseph was one hell of a feat, "What would he do? He knew about John and that red head" Holly "Far as I know, they fucked for a while before Joseph said to end it. Never did nothing to her",

"She tried to rip my eyes out once" Laurie said, "I think it was because she was jealous. And, you don't exactly risk shit like that in a place like this, unless you fell in love with someone and they just drop you like a sack of shit". She didn't think John had the capacity to sit down and tell someone that it was over, she could just imagine him suddenly ignoring her, all those moments they'd shared. Gone. Treating her just as he did everyone else.

And, that wouldn't have been love. Laurie didn't even know if he had the capacity for it..

Maybe he did but, neither of them would probably live long enough for that to happen. And Laurie wasn't even sure if she wanted that. Anything less than that though, it wasn't worth it.

"It's different with you and h-",

"No it's not" Laurie heard Em sigh as she stood up. As far as Em was concerned, Holly may have fucked John, but it was obvious that it had just been some arrangement so he could let off some pent up steam. And, even if Laurie chose to deny all those moments that she had with him, the glances, the touches, the words, it didn't mean it wasn't there.

"Laurie, what are you scared of" Ems asked, it wasn't Joseph. Em knew that for sure,

"Him" Laurie said, she pulled her knee's up and leaned her chin on them, "I'm scared of John". She always had been.

"The worlds a scary place already, no point being scared of the people in it" Ems said.

 _Thanks for reading guys! You know, I forget how much I like writing John scenes until I write them again! Hoping to get another chapter out tomorrow night, but we will see!_

 _Also, if you haven't read FarCry 5: Absolution novel, you should! It's an official prequel published by ubisoft and features Holly in it!_


	26. Patience

Chapter Twenty-Six – Patience

"Wanna…take on another… prepper stash" Dom said as he leaned over the crate, looking down at Laurie who was sat on the steps,

"I didn't think that was a thing anymore" she pushed herself up,

"Might not be..." Dom bit his lip, as if he was still considering it, "Deputy might have already got to it. No harm in looking though",

"What's the deal with this one" Laurie asked as she followed him over to the truck,

"Nothing really. Some guy was hold up there… Not exactly there anymore",

"Don't be like Randy Dom" Laurie told him as she pulled the door open, "Wherever I need to get to has a dead guy sat in it, doesn't it" she joked,

"Yes". Laurie stopped, wondering if he was actually serious.

* * *

"Isn't this where you kept that big ass monster truck thingy" Laurie said as they pulled up, hanging out the window like a dog,

"Yes" Dom got out,

"Are you not worried the Dep might come back to make sure you're not hiding anything else in there", the garage building was huge,

"No, haven't seen him around the valley for a few days now. Spotted over in Henbane the day after the cleansing. Faiths problem now",

"Has she had any more luck" Laurie asked, she was looking down at the pieces of what must have been a speaker at some point, all exploded now,

"I try not to get involved" Dom told her, "Get up there". He nodded to the top of the grain elevator. Laurie looked up, tilting her head this way and that way until she spotted an open window. It looked as if it had been boarded up at one point, but now the boards were splintered and broken through.

Walking around the back, hoping to find some ladder that she could hoist herself up on to the roof with, she found bodies instead, ridden with bullet holes and 'cull the weak' splattered in red paint – or blood – on the wall above them. This was the side of the cult she didn't get to see very often. The side of John she never wanted to think about.

This was the side that put doubt in her mind but, death was inevitable. The collapse was coming. The first seal had been opened and, there only needed to be some sort of balance thrown so that the next could be, followed by the third, the fourth. In what shape, she didn't know, but it was coming, and they could all feel it.

It was just ashame that these men hadn't…

Maybe she was wrong… Maybe she was on the wrong side…

Why would God want so much death?

But then, why would God give them a way?

Maybe he liked to toy with men as much as men liked to toy with each other…

Damn, she could just imagine what her father would say if he'd heard her say that…

"Laurie" Dom said, she turned her head slightly, "It don't matter how long you look at them. They ain't coming back to life",

"I just…" she looked at the men, and then to the words, "Cull the herd", that was a phrase she'd heard before, a Jacob phrase. Her words came out sharper than she meant them too, it wasn't Doms fault - "Is that what Ads is in to, up in the mountains? Culling the herd", she didn't wait for him to reply, but he did anyway, absent-mindedly following her on to the roof top using a couple crates, the need to explain overwhelming him,

"Laurie. I know how it sounds. But, the weak have no purpose in the new world" Dom said as he followed her to the front of the building, climbing in through the open window behind hem, catching himself on a piece of splintered wood, "We need the strong-",

"Weak people are often left behind" Laurie said, "I know you're not at the ranch much, but that tanoy, that speech, the one from John. He offers a place where people aren't left behind" Laurie told him, "The weak-",

"Laurie" he stopped her, "John is not Jacob. Jacob is not John. Now, don't get me wrong, John has his problems. Many, many, many problems. Problems normal people cannot fathom, but so does Jacob. Jacob values the strong",

"But without weakness, how can you be strong" she stopped, "Without fear, how can you be fearless" Laurie said, "You can't have anything without the other… Does Jacob not get that",

"Look Laurie, I know what I want. I know that by following the project, I can get it",

"And what is it that you want Dom" Laurie asked, "Saving from the collapse" - it sounded a bit ridiculous said out loud. Especially by her. Even though she believed it. Whenever the father said it, it sounded more reasonable. More believable.

"A family" Dom told her, "That's it",

"And that's so hard to find in the world is it" Laurie asked. It wasn't exactly all it was cracked up to be if she was honest,

"John offered me something no one else could. He offered me this sense of stability, free from the burden of every day life, free to follow my dreams, free from the media, from the-". She could understand what he was saying, but the way he was speaking, it was almost as if he was repeating a speech that Joseph might have preached at one of his teachings.

"Dom, please" Laurie said, "I get it, but, these people that don't want any of that? Why not just leave them be? You know, help ourselves before we help anyone else",

"That's not the way of the father. The father wants to save everyone" Dom said, he was still following her, the both of them now looking down at some broken planks, "Even those who don't want it",

"Why" Laurie asked, she turned around to him,

"Because it is not for us to judge who should be saved and who should not",

"And what about those who don't want to be saved Dom. The ones who say no. Who aren't able to atone for their sins. Who aren't... good enough. You just hang them out to dry on a bridge, or nail them to a post", she went forward again, continuing to traverse the building.

"The end is coming for us all anyway. Gods wrath will be far worse than anything we could do to each other",

"And that makes it okay" Laurie asked,

"That makes it reasonable" Dom answered.

The prepper stashes location, which they got to eventually by finding an open window on the side and then scaling up to the open window in the grain elevator was void of anything useful, and they quickly left, the stench of the dead sniper mans body too much for them.

"It's not very fair to just leave him up there, is it" Laurie asked,

"He's dead Laur. He don't care no more".

* * *

"This place has the best beef you ain't ever eaten" Dom said as they arrived at Kellett Cattle Co. "Promised Randy I'd pick up a slab up before going home",

"Hey man, hey" one of the men said as he came towards them, he was probably around the same age as Dom, his head shaved, multiple tattoos all over his half-naked body, "What do we owe the pleasure",

"Just want a slab of beef. Got any to spare" Dom said,

"Always got some to spare for you" he looked over at Laurie and smiled, "Come on, boys be glad to see you Dom". Dom looked up at Laurie and smiled, nodding for her to come with them as they both made their way towards the farmhouse.

Laurie stopped half way though, spying the grey collie curled up in a cage. Boomer. Standing there a moment, she just watched him. From what she'd heard, he was one hell of a gun dog. A local celebrity. She could see why the cult would want him on their side, but it was still a dog. How did you change a dog's loyalties?

"Nah, guy doesn't even seem to care" a guy with elvis like hair and a bushy beard said as he hit the cage with a stick; it made Laurie flinch, the clang of the bars roused the collie inside, making the dog move his head over so he was looking at them, he didn't even seem to care, as if he was about ready to roll on his belly for them,

"Does he not care, or does he not know where it is", another kneeled down next to it, offering the dog his hand just beyond the bars and a low rumble came from the dog's chest, he flinched back a little before he stood up, putting his hands on his head, his fingers getting lost in the a mess of curls,

"Won't matter by tonight. Dog be gone. Up to Jacobs",

"They gonna give us the dog version of Mannie" curly haired man said, he looked behind him, and so did Laurie, at the white wolf that was lying at the feet of a man with a red bandana across his face,

"Yeah, if it survives".

"What do you mean" Laurie found herself asking, they turned to her,

"Come on, that's a wild animal over there" elvis hair nodded to the wolf, "You think he tamed him with some bones like you do on Minecraft",

"It can't be that hard, can it" Laurie said,

"They'll starve him first" he sat down, "Then, they'll feed him, beef, cat, dog, whatever they have on hand. Fill it with bliss. Beat him around the bush a little. You know", he shrugged as he turned his head back to Boomer, "We'll have our selves one hell of a gun dog then". Elvis hair stood up, stretching his arms over his head as the two of them left her, leaving Laurie to stare at Boomer who whimpered at her a little, as if he'd understood what they'd said,

"Don't sound too great, does it bud" Laurie said as she walked towards him, the dogs ears pricked up, "But, I'm sure you be fine. Make them puppy dog eyes, maybe Jacob will…" what was she saying. Shit that would make her feel better, not shit that was true. It may have been a gun dog, but it didn't have the will of a wolf. Wolves were loyal to their own kind, dogs were loyal to men, and men would break them before turning them in to a machine.

They spoke highly of him, she'd heard the others mention him before. Heard Ems say that he was a good boy, that he could rustle with the best of them. Maybe if they hadn't killed his family, his people, maybe it'd be easier for him to accept them.

But, the reaping had begun, and it was every man for themselves.

But Boomer wasn't a man, he was a dog.

And, if atoning meant breaking the rules, she was sure they could live with it.

Hell, they had enough wolves, they didn't need a dog too.

Laurie stayed standing there for a while, watching, listening as the men all went about their own things. They weren't paying her or the dog any attention. Before even she knew it, she was kneeled down next to the cage,

"Listen here pup, I'm gonna do something really stupid" she whispered it to him, "But, you're just gonna go, and, if we ever see each other again, you can't bite me. Okay", the only way she knew the dog had even listened was because he'd twitched his ears a tad.

It would have to do.

Slowly, she reached for the bolt. Sliding it over was the easy bit, it was the grabbing of the cage door, so it didn't just reel itself in and make an almighty clang that almost gave her a heart attack. Boomer sat up, waiting, watching as she raised it slowly, glancing behind her every now and then to make sure no one was looking.

Eventually, it was up and the dog didn't run like she thought it would, it stayed sat there. As if it was waiting for something,

"Go" she went to nudge the dog with her foot, but he grabbed on to it with his mouth instead, making her gasp as she shook her leg, the dogs teeth biting in deeper before a shout made it flinch and run off. Laurie fell to the ground, grabbing at her leg as she tried to stop it from going numb,

"Laurie, for fucks sake". It was Dom. Laurie looked away from him, almost ashamed,

"Johns gonna be so pissed" another of the men said from behind him, "Do you know how hard it was to move that thing without getting our hands bitten off" he asked, "Fucking bitch. You're gonna burn in hell, you are". Dom turned to him,

"John doesn't need to know" he said quickly,

"I ain't taking the blame for it" the man turned around, "Call it in Dick" he gestured to the radio on Elvis hairs belt, "Tell-em the traitors daughter let the fucking dog out". Laurie pushed herself up so she was sitting, her foot still shaking from the pain, through gritted teeth, she said,

"If you're so fucking worried, why don't you go catch him". It obviously hadn't occurred to anyone that it was probably the right thing to do. If they were so worried about it. The man turned back, biting his tongue, as if he was thinking about it,

"Mannie" he looked over to the wolf, it's ears pricked, "Go find us a grey puppy dog". The wolf obeyed immediately, trotting off in to the undergrowth that the dog had ran in to. Laurie pushed herself up, narrowly missing a snap from the wolf as it went passed her,

"Dominic, better sort that girl out before John gets his hands on her" the guy said before turning away from them, heading back to the house. Dom was looking at the floor, his eyes closed. Laurie went to walk towards him, but a bit of smoke caught her eye and she looked to one of the alarms, broken and sparking,

"Dom" Dom looked at her, "The alarm", she stumbled backwards as she watched another alarms light turn red at the top of a pole, Dom looked with her.

An arrow buzzed past Dom then, narrowly missing him and smashing in to the third and final one. He turned, watching through the open window of the farm house as a knife was jabbed through the back of his friend, a short shout coming from another who came in to view before he was tackled to the ground.

Dom dived at Laurie, hurtling her back on to the ground as gun shots started going off around them. He rolled, pulling Laurie with him as the men around them started to shout, each of them getting shot down with a precision Dom hadn't seen before. They crawled in to the undergrowth just as some guy in a green hoody came in to view - wielding a flame thrower. Elvis hair was shooting at him, but an arrow in his shoulder made his aim weak and he was flayed alive in front of them, panicked shouts being the last thing to remember him by, and then some incompetent shout coming from the green hoody guys mouth before the Deputy came in to view.

Wielding a rifle, the Deputy, who didn't have that baby face to him anymore, dark stubble now adorning his face, ran around, shooting at men and women as they tried to take him down. The last of the men tried to run for the alarm, fiddling with all the broken pieces before the Deputy shot him through the head.

Dom pushed Lauries head down in to the ground, both of them frozen in place as the Deputy looked around. He walked towards them, to the cage,

The deputy blew out a whistle.

Laurie heard the rustling before the Deputy did, even felt something brush against her leg as Dom kept his hand on the top of her head. She expected the dog to show the Deputy straight to them, but he didn't, reuniting with the Deputy in a heartfelt reunion before they all turned away, the green hoody guy declaring over the Deputy's radio that the Kellet Cattle Co. was back in the hands of the resistance.

And some other shit Dom and Laurie didn't stay to hear.

* * *

"I feel like I betrayed them then" Laurie was slow, limping on her leg,

"Well, you let the dog out, you kind of did" Dom said, he hadn't said anything for a good long while as they'd walked, Laurie had just been talking to herself. Mostly, it was just words to hide the horrible feeling inside of her. She'd seen some poor guy get burned alive in front of her. She hadn't seen his flesh melt off, or caught a smell of it. The fire was too bright and too close to see much more than a sillouette of fire, but the screams as it had taken him. That had been the worst thing.

But, he was dead. And maybe it was better than the uncertainty of what was about to come.

"I don't mean that" Laurie sighed, "I mean, like…" she couldn't explain it. "I mean… like… the whole running away thing… I feel like we should have stayed. Fought, you know. For the project and… all that", Laurie felt terrible that she kind of didn't feel that way, more like she thought it was what they'd want to hear. She didn't want to die. Not for the project. Not for Joseph. Not because the Deputy couldn't stop and listen and look.

"We should have" Dom admitted, "But, as much as I owe this project, as much as I owe Joseph, I owe John more",

"And John couldn't possibly live without you",

"Something like that" Dom shrugged, he walked a tad quicker then, voiding the conversation as they got nearer to a road. It wouldn't be long before a convoy of their men would drive past.

But first, they'd find the white wolf in amongst some grass, its throat ripped. A bear Dom told her. Next, they dodged car after car of resistance folk all making their way to the cattle farm, cheering and wooing as they got closer.

Eventually, one of Edens Gates trucks pulled up, a single driver sat in the front. Dom had said some words to him, but the driver had just grunted. He didn't take them back to the ranch like Dom had asked,

"You taken a wrong turning" Dom asked from the back seat,

"No. John told us to take you to the bunker when we found you",

"Why" Dom asked, pulling himself through the gap between the driver and Laurie,

"Cause he wants to talk to her" he gestured to Laurie and Laurie looked back at Dom with her brow raised, he shrugged,

"Could have said, you know",

"Could have" the man repeated, making Laurie look back at Dom again, slightly more worried now. He shrugged, leaning back in his chair, but still, he blew out a breath through his teeth as he looked out of the window.

John was waiting outside when they arrived, arms crossed as he stood there. He had his brown coat with all the little aeroplanes on. The three of them got out of the car, the driver disappearing off somewhere in to the bunker and John gesturing Dom away. Laurie stopped and so did Dom, he wanted to ask him not to be too hard on her, but John took a step towards him and Dom took a step back, turning away from them and heading the same way the driver had.

John looked to Laurie them.

Her stomach dropped.

"I'm sure Dom will attest to you being there, at the grain elevator. Another prepper stash" John stopped and smiled, clicking his tongue, "After I told him to keep you at the ranch". Laurie raised her brow, almost wanting to ask him why, but he was broody and she felt like she'd only make it worse. "I know it was you who convinced them to leave Nick alone. I can see why" he almost smirked, but then he shook his head, he started to get closer, "And now, you let the dog out" John looked to her, "Who's next… Maybe the deputy",

"Don't be so stupid", John scoffed, he clicked his tongue again.

He backed her on to the wall, his hand snaking around her neck,

"You drive my patience through the fucking roof, you know that" he said quietly, Laurie breathed John in, the smell of some deluxe aftershave, that minty smell on his breath,

"John", she said quietly, she was ready for this, this whole conversation, but John wasn't.

"NO" it was so forced, as if it actually hurt to say the word out loud, his hand closed around her neck, gently at first, "You go back to that ranch, and you stay there". John tightened his grip ever so slightly, making Laurie try to pull away from him,

"John. Stop" she said, she could feel a sob rising in her throat now, could feel the tension between them. John faltered for a moment, but then he clung on tighter and Laurie grabbed his arm with both of her hands, but he backed her in to the wall again, her body jolting as it hit the concrete. His forehead touched the side of her face as she looked away, trying to find space to breath, he whispered in her ear,

"You stay them until I come for you" his voice broke, breathing through his nose, as if he was a bull, about to explode, "You don't... Fuck..," he pushed away from her and Laurie slipped down the wall, "Just" John put his hand through his hair, turning away as Laurie struggled to keep back the sob that was still in her throat, heaving in some breaths.

After a moment of staring at the ground, she glanced over at John who was bent over the bonnet of his truck. She felt like he was losing it. That stableness that he always had. That sense of control. It was slipping. That enough he was looking for was falling out of his grasp...

She stuck her legs out in front of her, pulling her knees towards her as she put her head down on them. He hadn't clung hard enough to stop her from breathing, for a moment he had, but it was just the look in his eyes, the panic, that had made it worse. The internal struggle in him made it all the more worse for her.

John was stood in front of her then, and she looked over to him, not raising her eyes, but staring at his jeans. He knelt down, gently taking her chin. She closed her eyes and felt his hand smooth the side of her face,

"Laurie". His voice was so gentle, so much like Josephs when he said her name like that, like she was only person that mattered. So dangerous. She felt his forehead lean on hers, but she couldn't look at him, not yet. They stayed there for a moment, in silence. Then, the sob that was stuck in her throat came up, she pulled her head away, trying to swallow it back down, but it choked her instead. The feeling burnt her throat and tears rushed to her eyes. John tapped his fingers softly on the side of her neck, the rhythm almost easing the pain he'd put there,

"I'm sorry" broke from Laurie's mouth, but John shushed her,

"I'm… I need you to be reasonable Laurie" he breathed, "Mercy is not always the way to go",

"I didn't sign up to this to have any more Wrath in my life John. I signed up to get rid of it", hadn't she… Didn't it all boil down to that. "And what would it matter if I let the dog out of not. The Deputy would have come anyway", the helplessness in her voice made John close his eyes, and sigh,

"The father asked you to trust him. To trust in the things that he said" it didn't sound as heartfelt as it should have, "To trust in what he wants",

"I'd be dead" Laurie said, "If I trusted in what he wanted" Laurie looked at John now, gazing in to those big blue eyes. She saw the hurt flash across them but, whether it was the thought of her dying or her declaration of 'untrust' to his brother, she didn't know. She wasn't sure she ever would.

"Go back to the ranch" he said quietly, he moved his hand, resting it on his knee, "Stay there. Wait..."

He didn't say what for.

* * *

T _hanks for reading guys! This was one of those chapters that was really hard to write... Trying to keep people in character (game and story wise) can be a pain in the arse sometimes. I hope you enjoyed it though._


	27. Belief

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Belief

"I shouldn't have taken you out",

"Don't Dom" Laurie said, she fell on to the sofa,

"I didn't think he would react like that" Dom sat down on the table, Laurie shrugged,

"Maybe he's just a bit…" she trailed off, leaving Dom to put his head on his knees. Laurie had seen it. As much as he tried to hide it, as much as he tried to be one step ahead of everything and everyone, the Deputy, Joseph, it was all getting on top of him. He hid it so well, but the outbursts of anger, the desperation in his words... That edge was closer than Joseph could even see.

Maybe she was trying to reason his actions – like she would her dad – but her dad meant the things he said and did. John was pulling at strings, trying to hold on. There was more to this. More to why he hadn't gone after the Deputy like he should have. There was a reason why he let him run around like he did. Laurie just didn't know what it was.

Joseph. He'd have the answers. But, Dom wasn't about to take her anywhere. Not that she'd even know where he was. She hadn't seen him since the cleansing, hadn't spoken to him since that day at the compound.

He was more elusive than John was.

And, would he even really care. Or would he tell her to trust in him, and let it go?

"What happened at the bunker" Ems asked as she came around the corner of the shed, Laurie was laying on the deck chair in the back garden, overlooking the valley. It was the quietest part of the ranch's gardens nowadays, no one, but her came there. Laurie looked up, sighing as Ems took the seat next to her, pushing it so it leaned back and she was able to put her leg up, lounging comfortably,

"John got pissed" Laurie said, she closed her eyes again, Ems didn't say anything, waiting for more, "I let that dog go. Boomer" Laurie blew out another sigh, "Add that on to a range of other things and... you got one pissed off John Seed",

"He couldn't have been that pissed" Ems said, Laurie looked over at her, Ems hadn't been there, she hadn't seen the look in his eye,

"How d-"

"You're not dead" Ems looked over, a small smirk on her face, "That's bad what you did. Real bad Laurie. That's like a complete no-no. You should have been punished for that. Like proper, punished, not just sex-dungeon punished, you know" she looked back to the view, Laurie swallowed back a chuckle that rose out of her throat by accident, making Em smirk even more,

"I think he had it in him" Laurie admitted, she turned her head back to look at the view too,

"Everyone does" Ems said, "Maybe he indulges in it every now and then, maybe he gives the word, but, you, what" she shrugged, "Got that nice juicy hand wrapped around your neck",

"Shut up" Laurie sat up,

"I'm just saying that he…" Ems trailed off, her eyes wandering over to the valley again, thinking, "You're like his pet. Or something" Laurie slumped back in her chair, she had actually thought that Ems would have some sort of monumental understanding of what John Seed really was, but no, she was gonna cover it up playful words and another smile as she closed her eyes, taking in the last of the suns rays.

But then, Laurie guess she'd have to find that out on her own. No one else was willing too obviously. She knew how easy it was to go with the flow. Letting things play out the way they should have. But, sometimes, you need an intervention to make you see sense.

Tom turned up the day after.

He came with a bunch of fella's in a truck filled with bliss flowers. They were on their way to the bunker, but Tom had convinced them to take a detour. It seemed her brothers charms had easily rubbed off of Faith and her men.

Or the fact that the men who came with him all looked as mindless as he had once. As if they were some sort of gangly humanoid robot with no hair.

Faiths Angels. Bald, mindless and creepy as sin.

"They aren't that bad" Tom professed as he and Laurie walked around the ranch, "They listen real good, if anything",

"I don't think they could really do much more than listen to you Tom" Laurie said, "Maybe grunt a little yeah, but", she smiled,

"Nah, they might seem like mindless freaks, but they have feelings, you know" Tom said, "Quite the maestro's actually" Laurie raised a brow,

"Are you sure you realise what a maestro is Tom" Laurie asked, they didn't seem as if they were about to pick up a guitar and start singing like Ed Sheeran,

"Yeah. You know, some sick fuck actually took advantage of it. Burned like fifty of them up, and then, when we sent some men down to sort them out, they got flayed alive too" Tom shrugged, "Like, seriously, how sick minded can you be to like that sort of shit".

It sounded horrible, especially considering how docile they seemed, but it was something she'd heard before,

"Green hoody ring any bells" Laurie asked,

"Yeah" Tom raised a brow, "What you doing all the way out in Henbane",

"Ran in to them yesterday" Laurie said,

"Oh, when you let the dog out" Tom nudged her shoulder with his, she threw her arms up,

"How do you know",

"Word spreads pretty fast" Tom said, he folded his arms, "What the fuck were you thinking", he stood in front of her, walking backwards,

"I have no fucking idea" Laurie shrugged, she raised a finger, "But ai, if I hadn't let the dog out, I'd probably be lying somewhere with a knife threw my back" or she would have been burnt to a crisp like his angels,

"Better be careful, might think your in it with them" Tom suggested, he looked around, as if he was making sure none of the others were listening in, Laurie sighed,

"Well, if you think it, it must be true" she shrugged "Dom pulled me away. Probably would have stood there like a pillock and got flayed alive myself" she smiled,

"It's not funny Laurie",

"It kind of is" Laurie took a few steps away from him, "If I'd stayed, and been 'loyal', and died for the Father, I wouldn't be here now listening to your shit". Tom didn't have an answer for that.

Because, she would have. To the Deputy, she was just another Peggie. Just another cultist that was trying to ruin the lives of Hope County. And, without anything to protect herself, she'd be dead.

She wasn't gonna kid herself.

They continued walking, following the path down to the river where they had been baptised.

"Where it all began" Tom said as he sat himself down on one of the bales, Laurie sat down on one opposite,

"Do you remember that night" Laurie asked,

"Yeah, but I bet you remember it better", he raised a brow,

"It's not always something I like to" Laurie looked down at her hands,

"Yeah, yeah" Tom smiled meekly and then leaned back. After a moment, he asked, "Do you ever think about leaving",

"Sometimes" Laurie said quietly, "But, I don't know. I don't know".

She could leave, she could probably slip away, get passed the mountains, over a road. But, after being here now, she didn't know if she could just return to society as it was. Because, Joseph was right, the society outside was on the brink, it was falling in to the hands of men and women that had no idea what they were doing, they had no way of stopping the inevitable, had no way of stopping the collapse.

Maybe here, it was would be no better, but at least she was surrounded by people who truly believed they could, and not compulsive liars.

"Maybe you should go to Jacobs" Tom said quietly, he leaned forward now,

"They split us up, remember" Laurie folded her legs on the bale,

"Yeah…" Tom leaned forward a bit more, a quick glance around to make sure no one had followed them, "But Joseph isn't as oppose to it. If you want to", Laurie cocked her head,

"Why? Is this about Ads. Is he okay",

"No, it's not. He's doing really well" Tom admitted, the kid was thriving more than any of them could have imagined,

"Have you spoke to him" Laurie asked, Tom sighed,

"Would you rather I hadn't". Surprisingly, or not so surprisingly, Laurie shook her head,

"No. Next time you do though, tell him I said hi" she smiled and Tom closed his eyes. She hadn't changed, even if she thought she had,

"I will" Tom promised, "I will" he looked over to the water. Laurie looked with him,

"So why then Tom. If it's nothing to do with Ads", Tom stayed quiet a moment,

"I don't trust him",

"Who",

"John" Laurie smiled, sighing as she leaned back,

"Not many people do".

"Are you one of those people" Tom asked,

"It's not a matter of whether I trust him Tom" Laurie said, "I don't even know if I trust anyone really… I just know that…" she stood up, "He can be… irrational maybe.. but he… I get it.. You know? Despite everything" she wasn't going to tell him the everything, there wasn't anything he could – or would do – "There's more going on here than anyone cares to admit. Some people, their gonna go… their gonna fall just because… And, I don't know if anyone can change that" they both knew she meant John, which meant she didn't need to say it. Everyone else may have been blind to the workings of these men, of the heralds and the leaders they followed, but they weren't as far in to it as everyone else.

They weren't on the edge either, but reason, life, it had brought them here, and they could see it.

"I'm not gonna convince you am I" Tom said,

"No, you're not",

"Well, if anyone can get through to him, it's you little sister" Tom changed his tone, he'd never thought he'd be able to convince her to leave, no matter what she'd said back at Josephs compound, she didn't want to leave, not really, "Maybe that's the real reason Joseph let you com here. To make sure he doesn't fall in to the bliss. Even if Jacob wanted you real bad",

"Let's not get our hopes up Tom" Laurie said, if anyone was gonna stop John from falling, it was John. No one else.

* * *

 _Sorry about how bad I've been with the uploads lately! Work is killing me!_


	28. It'll All Be Over Soon

Chapter Twenty Eight – It'll all be over soon

"Latest news in Hope County! Hurk Drubman has created his own cult" Ems said as she sat on the sofa next to Laurie,

"Ohh, how exciting" Laurie said, putting her head back and closing her eyes,

"Did you know he's my cousin" Ems asked, Laurie opened an eye,

"So you're related to that fire guy as well",

"Uh huh. You can see why his mama left him, can't yuh" Ems said,

"That's horrible" Laurie closed her eyes again,

"It's not. He burnt my hair off when we were kids. I almost killed him", Laurie smiled.

"Come on Emily. Time to get on that radio of yours" Randy said as he came in to the hall. Laurie opened her eyes,

"Why" Ems said, she put her arms out and draped them over the back of the sofa, she didn't have any intention of moving today,

"Johns put the call in" Randy said, "Deputy destroyed his yes sign, he's kind of had enough",

"Took him long enough, didn't it" Laurie asked, her voice bitter as she stood up, Randy ignored her,

"Em. Radio. Now",

"Ugh" Ems sprung up, "I should have taken Jacobs offer and went to the mountains to track wolves" Laurie raised her brow, she'd never told her that, "At least then, you'd have John all to yourself" Ems went on to say, quietly enough that only Laurie could hear her, "But" she shrugged, "Guess we're gonna have to share him once this is all finished". Ems turned and winked at her as she reached Randy and Laurie fell back in to the sofa.

If any of them though this would be over with the Deputy's capture, they were wrong.

Now, left to her own devices once again, Laurie picked up the black book that Joseph had given her all that time ago from the coffee table and put her feet up on the sofa. She'd got to the part where Joseph was now on the road to finding his brothers and he was stood outside the building where he believed his little brother worked.

The reunion between the two brothers was hard to read. John had fallen in to Josephs arms, broken and scared, and, a monster. His foster parents, despite making him the youngest and most successful lawyer of his time, had turned him an innocent child in to a monster skilled at concealment and full of supressed anger. They'd made him hate people, hate the world, but most of all, they'd made him hate himself.

Sex, drugs, gambling. He'd had a part in it all.

Laurie had to put it down.

Even after everything he'd been through, he'd gave himself to Joseph, to the project, in a heartbeat. There'd been no questions, no hesitance. John didn't want to be a part of the world he'd been in, he didn't want to be the man his parents had made him. He wanted to be better.

And with Joseph, it seems like he thought he could.

Joseph had told her once that John would give everything to this project until he had nothing left to give. It would mean his life, and Laurie didn't find that fair. John had thought the project, the sense of family, would have given him what he wanted, but Joseph knew it wouldn't, knew it would never be enough, but still, he took, just as much as John gave.

As always, her thoughts were interrupted by the drunken sway of an Ed. He'd been quite sober recently, but it seemed as if he was off the barrel again.

"You know…" he leaned on the back of the sofa, "Johns been having so much fun with that Hudson… Probably fucks the shit out of her…" he looked up at the ceiling, smiling, "He ain't gonna know what to do when he gets his hands on that Deputy… Probably make him watch… Make him join in" he put his finger up, pointing at Laurie, "You ain't gonna get a look in" he snorted and put his head down. Laurie sighed and looked up, staring at the fire, "And then" his voice was muffled, speaking in to the leather, "And then" he put his head up, "Then, what are you gonna do",

"Well, I'm sure he'll have enough left for me" Laurie stood up,

"Yeah, I knew it, you…" he trailed off, putting his head on the back of the settee, his mouth hanging open before he slid off, falling to the floor in a heap.

Laurie did look, just to make sure he was still breathing before she stood up, leaving the drunken ass where he was and going outside. It was starting to get dark, but she decided that a walk down to the river was what she needed. Taking the radio that was sat on the coffee table with her, she followed the path down.

The thought of the deputy finally being captured should have made her happier, that it would all be over, but how would it. The first seal had been opened, and they weren't just about to stop and go away. The resistance was there now, fighting against them, with or without the deputy, they weren't about to lie down and stop.

It wouldn't be over.

Laurie sat down on the hay bale, the same bale she'd sat on when she'd spoken to Tom. Her brother had left that day, telling her that he would be back soon, that he wouldn't leave it so long next time. That he would say hi to Ads for her.

She wondered whether the Deputies containment would make it easier for her to go see him herself. If only just the once. Laurie looked out over to the river, the figure stood on the river edge, also facing the water, making her jump.

She watched, waiting for him to turn around, but then, she quickly realised that it was Ems fisherman bombshell. Ems was right, close up he looked even better.

Laurie thought about leaving without saying anything, he obviously hadn't realised she was there and she didn't particularly feel like talking to anyone, but then the fisherman turned around, his body jerking a bit, like she'd frightened him,

"Uh… hi" he said,

"Hi" Laurie replied, he took a step back, in to the water, his foot jerking from the cold,

"I can move if-" he sounded so awkward, so gently spoken, nothing like the butch, male façade he gave off,

"No, no, the river don't belong to no one" Laurie said quickly, waving her hands slightly,

"Are you sure, feels like everything does these days", Laurie raised a brow,, "I'm sorry" the man said quickly, "I shouldn't speak out of line like that",

"What, no, no, I… I agree with you" Laurie said, she sat back down again,

"Oh" he said quietly,

"Yeah…" she said, "Yeah…" Laurie trailed off, the tension, the silence that started to mount, it was as if you could cut it through with a knife. He seemed so insecure, so small. Despite how good he looked, she couldn't really imagine him stealing Eds wife like he said he had, or even attempting too. But then, maybe the soft spoken, gentleness appealed to her compared to Ed.

Then again, Laurie guessed anything was better than him.

"What's your name anyway" Laurie said eventually, Ems had never told her,

"Well I… my names Kyle… Kyle... uh... Joes

"Laurie Willis" Laurie said back, he nodded, quickly asking,

"You're not local, are you",

"No, British",

"Ahh…" there was silence, Kyle looked down at his feet. Laurie tilted her head,

"Go on, you can ask it" Kyle looked to her, confused, "Ask me why I moved half way around the world to join a doomsay cult in Montana",

"Well… I imagine you have a very good reason… I did… so",

"Wait, you're a…", she'd been sure he was just a local,

"Yeah… I joined a while ago now" he said quietly,

"Oh…" Laurie looked over at the hay bale that Tom had sat on opposite,

"Yes, the father, he baptised me… Then, told me to go forth and fish. That I would be called upon eventually"

"So, you've confessed and all that with John" Laurie asked,

"No, I've not had that… pleasure…" it was so forced, it gave Laurie the chills,

"Pleasurable isn't something I'd paired up with confession" Laurie told him,

"Oh, I'm sorr-",

"Don't be sorry" Laurie stood up, "You keep fishing okay",

"Thank you" Kyle said quickly, bowing his head, Laurie smiled.

"I hear their going after the deputy" Kyle said as she went to leave, she didn't know if it was happiness or wariness in his voice,

"Yeah",

"So, it'll all be over soon then" he asked, Laurie shrugged a shoulder.

She wasn't sure it worked like that.

* * *

 _Ohh look, a chapter in the middle of the week! Thanks for reading, if you are! I'm still enjoying writing this story and I'm looking forward to whats to come!_


	29. Stupid Ideas

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Stupid Ideas

"Laurie. Wake up" Laurie turned over on the sofa, burying her head in the leather as Dom leaned over her, "Laurie",

"Hmm" she said quietly, not opening her eyes,

"We got the Deputy", Laurie sighed,

"All over then" she stretched her legs out, feeling them click and ache. She may have fallen asleep on the sofa again, but it was still the most uncomfortable thing ever - she didn't know how John did it,

"Come on, get to bed" Dom said,

"I can't" Laurie yawned,

"Why",

"Cause Ems and Ray are sinning in the…" she trailed off as she sat up, even her shoulders hurt,

"Well, we know how to fix that, don't we" Randy said as he walked in,

"How" Laurie put her feet on the floor and leant forward, she yawned again "Tell John", Randy shrugged a shoulder and Dom sighed, "Well, best tell him that you're high a lot nowadays and that Ed is inconsolable to the world". Randy leaned on the fireplace, his arms crossed, an edge to his words as he added to her little confession,

"And you can't control your temper"

"I've been very good actually" Laurie said, she laid back, stretching out her body before she slumped in to the sofa, "Anyway, you're the one who suggested we tell John" she turned her head to Dom who was stood with his arms crossed, "Might as well tell him all of it, right",

"Randy, how about you just go" Dom shrugged a shoulder, his mouth a thin line as he looked to his friend, Randy looked away,

"Yeah. See you in the morning little sheep" Randy said quietly, passing by the sofa and heading to the door on the other side of the hall, it'd take him out the back.

"Night Randy",

"Night Laurie" she heard him say before he closed the door over, she looked back at Dom. He smiled,

"Don't mind him. He should be happier" Dom shook the sofa as he plopped down next to her, Laurie nodded and then leaned her head back, she closed her eyes. "You know, could go sleep in the bedroom upstairs" Dom said,

"Johns room" Laurie pointed out, she opened an eye,

"Well, yeah, not like you don't know where it is",

"Ed would have a field day",

"And you care why",

"I don't-",

"You know, we got a prepper stash for you to get in tomorrow, if you're up for it" he shrugged, "John said to ask",

"Did he grow manners all of a sudden" Laurie asked, she opened both eyes, looking to the ceiling and the banners, "John doesn't know how to ask people things",

"Which is why he made me do it" Dom interjected,

"Huh huh ha" Laurie closed her eyes, smiling,

"Go on. I won't tell him you stayed there" Dom said, "But, if Ems and Ray ain't done by now, I might trade Edens Gate for what he has",

"Oh Dom" Laurie pushed herself up, "No you wouldn't", Dom smiled, leaning back and putting his feet up. Laurie raised her brow,

"Aren't you gonna go to bed" she asked,

"I like sleeping on the sofa" he shrugged, "Everyone likes sleeping on the sofa" he put his hands behind his head, "You're the weird one".

* * *

Stood just inside the door, Laurie had locked it before flicking on the lights. They'd stayed dull for a moment, making it so she had to wave her hands through the air to find the bed before she sat on it, the lights flickering on as she did.

It was the same as before, which, considering John hadn't been there, wasn't much of a surprise. It still had that stale bedsheet air to it, a slick of dust over the drawers. Laurie laid back on the sheets. The smell wasn't very nice, but was comforting almost,

Despite the happenings before each of the times she spent the night in this room; here, she found some sort of peace that she couldn't find anywhere else.

She didn't know whether it was the fact that it was Johns room, that she could lock the door and not have to worry about anyone else outside, or that the bed was just the comfiest she'd ever slept on.

Or that small vials of bliss were so easily on hand. Opening the drawer next to the bed, she pulled out a small chest box and opened it. There were three of four vials inside, the greeny liquid swirling around as she took one out, setting the rest back in the drawer.

It wasn't like she was completely against the stuff; from what she'd seen with the men her brother had bought with him; the angels, it was dangerous - really dangerous - but, she had no want to go live in a field of white flowers; all she wanted, tonight, was to sleep.

To get rid of the feeling she had in her stomach, the feeling that it wasn't all over just yet. No matter who believed it.

Laurie stood up from the bed, flicked the lights off and then fell back on to it, shotting the bliss back and burying herself under the quilts. The smell wasn't that bad, but she didn't think it would matter much, expecting the bliss to take her just as quickly as it had done that time before, but, this night, it took a bit longer to hit her. She lay there for a long while it seemed, just thinking, wondering what would happen if the Deputy stayed captured. Wondering if the resistance the Deputy had formed, the guns who followed him, would fight to get him back just as he did for them.

If so, maybe they weren't as different to the people of Edens Gate as they thought. They were all shooting each other, all fighting, all wanting what was best for one another. Or what they thought was best.

Laurie wondered whether she'd be able to kill a man as easily as the Deputy had killed the people at the Kettle Co. ranch. Sure, he was a part of the police force, sure that's what they were supposed to do, right? But, how did it make him any better than the ones he killed.

If Edens Gate had no responsibility to kill, then why did he? Because he was considered a good guy? Because he was blind to what the world was? Or, because he liked the feeling when he liberated an outpost, liked the feeling of making other people cheer, of the praise, and the drinks, that feeling of success, of responsibility, of advancing his plight against them.

Laurie turned over. She'd got high once, with Tom. He'd been sat opposite her, smoking a joint, and she'd asked for a drag. She'd never do it again, it had made her cough half her lung up and she felt like she was gonna die. But that, added with the backhand smoke of the night to come, had left her very contemplative.

Much like she was tonight. She decided then, as she fell off to sleep, that maybe the bliss wasn't as bad as she thought it was and, at least this way, she wasn't gonna die from wheezing.

She might just die from losing her hair and turning in to a grunting idiot.

On second thought, she decided, although not terrible, she'd leave the bliss to the angels and find her own way through whatever hell on earth she was sure was just around the corner.

A continuous knock on the door, which Laurie hoped as she opened her eyes, was a few hours later than when she'd fallen asleep, was what woke Laurie up. Light streamed through the window and she rolled herself to look at the clock, it was almost eleven.

"I'm up" Laurie heard herself say,

"Finally" Ems said from behind the door, she tried to open it, "Let me in" Laurie sighed. She stood, shaking out her legs and yawning as she opened the door, Laurie waved her arm at the room, welcoming her in, "Oh" Ems said, disappointed,

"What" Laurie wiped her eyes before running her hands through her hair, pushing out the tie and walking over to the bathroom,

"I was kinda hoping I'd see a naked John, but never mind" Ems plopped on to the bed,

"Uh huh, you and me both" Laurie replied, smiling as she went inside the ensuite, leaving the door open as she splashed some water on her face,

"See, I knew you would" Ems said, she leaned back, crossing her legs. Yawning, Laurie said,

"Have you not had enough of men for a little bit",

"Girl, I could go all day if it was him I had my legs wrapped around" she looked over at a sofa pushed up against the wall, "How many people do you think he's fucked in here" she asked. Laurie was putting her hair back up when she came out of the bathroom,

"Ems, I don't care" she said,

"Of course you don't" Ems pushed to her feet, she spun around, taking in the whole room, "I bet he hasn't fucked anyone in here" she put her hands on her hips, "Doesn't seem like the sort of guy who'd wait to take you to bed",

"I'm sure you'll run him down enough to find out" Laurie said, opening the door. Ems turned to her,

"Yes, once you've had your way with him" she said, sauntering passed and outside before her,

"Oh thank you" Laurie said, taking in the breath of the fresh Montana air as she took a step on to the balcony. It was a beautiful day, it wasn't too hot, nor too cold, and it looked as if Ray was building a sort of make-shift barbecue.

"He's quite the animal, you know" Ems said as she leaned over,

"I bet he is" Laurie said, she leaned next to her. She was just about to say more when she heard someone call from behind her,

"Laurie. Come on" it was Dom, "Best not let Ems filled your mind with lustful thoughts" Laurie smiled and looked down at her feet as Ems spun around to look at him, she shrugged a shoulder,

"She can do it all on herself, don't worry" she said,

"Uh huh" Dom nodded at Laurie, "Come on little sheep, best get moving",

"Bring me back a…" Ems trailed off as she leaned back on the balcony, "Bring me back a… hmmn",

"I'll bring you back some condoms" Dom said, Laurie brushed past him, shaking her head, "Sure, we don't want any evidence",

"Ha ha" Ems said as she turned away from him, looking back over at Ray, she smiled,

"Dom. Come on" Laurie said from the stairs, Dom chuckled to himself and followed her down. "Where are we off too",

"The Armstrong residence" Dom said, he pulled a piece of paper from inside his jacket, "There's a bunker inside the house",

"And no one lives there anymore" Laurie asked,

"Not anymore" Dom said, he looked at her, "But don't worry, they moved",

"And just left everything",

"Moved in a bit of a hurry" Dom shrugged as he pulled the door of the truck open for her,

"Of course" Laurie jumped in, "Do that a lot around here",

"The housing markets just terrible" Randy said through the small open window behind her,

"Can we shut that" Laurie asked, turning to Dom as he got in, Dom looked around and then slid the small window shut, "Better" Laurie looked back as they drove backwards down the drive for a little while, Dom making a sharp u-turn as they got to the Y sign. "Is it far" Laurie asked,

"It's to the west, not too far away" Dom said, they got to the end of the driveway and, it was only then that Laurie noticed the billboard on the side of the road. She was sure that it'd had some sort of plane on it before, but now, it had Johns face instead,

"We want you, and we will take you" Laurie looked at Dom, "He really does embrace the whole not asking thing, doesn't he", Dom smiled. After a minute, he said,

"So, how are you about, all that… anyway",

"About what" Laurie asked,

"John" Dom glanced over,

"I'm okay" Laurie said, she looked down at her hands, biting the inside of her cheek, "I get it" she said, she lay back in her seat,

"Good, cause you're one of the only ones who do" Randy said from behind, it seems they could still hear him through the glass,

"Anyway, this stash, it's quite… it's an easy one… you know... to get you back in to things",

"Is John gonna let me out on a regular basis now" Laurie said, sitting up in her seat, almost a little excited, Dom smiled,

"Well, with our little friend all tucked up in the bunker" he turned a corner, keeping his eyes on the road, "John thinks it's about time we get all our fruitions in one basket and that means…" he glanced over again, "We need to use people to their best abilities, and you… you have this knack for getting in to things. Getting the job done even when you see 'shit you don't wanna see" he shrugged, "And, despite everything, you're still here"

"And John would let me just walk away, wouldn't he" Laurie joked, she sat back in the chair,

"He'd let you walk away from him. From the valley" Dom said quietly, "There's no point keeping you locked up when you have so much potential" he turned another corner, "If that's what you want". Laurie looked down at her hands, she'd only been joking, but Dom was being truly serious. Was it terrible that she hadn't really considered it, not for a while anyway. She didn't know how she felt about any of that, so, she said,

"Tell John he can ask me himself". Dom nodded, leaving it at that.

The valley was quiet today, they saw some Eden Gate trucks pass by them, a van or two, but no civilians. Cars were abandoned on the side of the road though, belongings strapped to the roof. Laurie knew what had happened to them, she only hoped that they saw sense quickly and joined the family. Despite what they all said, it wasn't that bad.

The rest of the way, Laurie had closed her eyes, just for a minute she said to herself, just to listen to the outside, to the truck but, if she was honest, she was starting to feel a bit sick. Usually front seat driving saved her life but, she hadn't been in a car for so long that it was starting to catch up with her,

It was as they were coming up a small driveway, that Doms mouth turned to a frown as he took his foot off the peddle, stalling the truck "What the-", Laurie jerked forward in her seat a little, the seatbelt not catching the way it should have,

"What the hell are you doing" Randy said as she opened her eyes.

There would have been a nice house in front of her once, she was sure of it. But now, now it was on fire, gutted and blackened.

"I was just…" the man with a flamethrower on his back shrugged,

"You couldn't have waited" Randy said as he jumped out the back of the truck.

"Does that mean our little adventure is postponed" Laurie asked, she looked to Dom. He leaned over the wheel and looked over to her,

"Depends, you wanna give it ago" he nodded to it, "Looks like it's dying down and, quicker we get to it, the more time we have before the resistance come snooping". Laurie looked over, Dom was right, the fire didn't seem that bad really.

"Hell, why not" Laurie said, she got out of the truck, the man with the flamethrower looking down at his feet as the two of them walked passed him, "This is a stupid idea",

"Ai, but you have loads of them and you're still alive" Randy said as he pointed towards an open window, "Go on".

Laurie stood back, looking at it. At first glance, it didn't look like that big of a house but, surprisingly, it seemed to go back a fair way. After walking up near the window and looking through, she took a deep breath before clambered inside, Dom right behind her.

"Can't let you have all the fun, can I" Dom shrugged, "And you know, just in case you faint from smoke inhalation or something",

"I guess" Laurie shrugged as something fell from up top, throwing them both to the ground. Laurie looked over the small flaming pile of rubble at Dom, who looked back at her; apart from the blue face he had, from holding his breath so tightly, he was fine. Laurie stood up, brushed herself off and then looked to where the rubble had fallen from, revealing a door way, "Well then" she looked over at Dom who was on his knees, getting his breath back, "Still up for some fun", he put his hand up, a finger, telling her to wait a minute.

After a moment, he stood, taking the lead as he went through the doorway, passing by some fire which his flowy black leather jacket nearly caught on to as he clambered over some wood, Laurie followed behind him. You could hear the pipes creaking, the wood breaking. Maybe it would have been better if they'd just waited until it'd stopped smoking completely, maybe even rained.

The room they passed, going up a ramp that had possibly been the ceiling once had a metal bedframe inside, the metal still red from the heat. Laurie wondered just how long the house had actually been burning when she'd seen that Dom had stopped, kneeling, looking over the ledge at the ground,

"And jump" Laurie said, which made Dom flinch a little - he thought she was about ready to push him in. Laurie smiled and then sat down on the ledge, took a small breath and then dropped. It wasn't that high at all.

Dom followed her lead, and then they both looked to the table and shelves that would get them to the next room,

"Are you sure we're going the right way" Laurie asked. Dom shrugged,

"I'm sure we'll find out" Dom grabbed on to the steel table, burning his hand and yanking it away as he cursed and jumped, trying to fan his hand with the other,

"And you say I do stupid things" Laurie passed by him as he glared at her. Looking at the table, she assumed that with a big enough jump, and high enough knees, she'd be able to get on top without exactly touching it.

After another deep breath, she did just that - jumped and landed but, if it wasn't for Dom catching her by the shoulders, she would have fallen backwards. Dom pushed her up and Laurie turned around, the table wobbling for a moment before it stabled itself,

"Can I have your jacket" Laurie asked. If she'd not got up the first one without any help, getting on the top of the shelves would probably break her neck. Dom, not intending to go any further anyway, shook of his coat and passed it up to her. Dom was quite tall so, on Laurie, the jackets arms were much too long, but, buttoned up, it meant she could clamber on to the top of the shelf without actually touching anything.

It wasn't as hot as she thought it would be, she could only just feel it coming through the leather, but she was sure it would have hurt either way,

"Are you coming" Laurie asked,

"No, I think you can manage, just keeping going" Dom said, "There's bound to be an easier way in to it",

"Oh yeah, now you decide that" Laurie said, not giving him time to reply as she turned around, she was on a ledge again. Looking down, it looked as if the room was blocked off and, the only way to get to the one that wasn't, was to jump over to the broken floor – or ceiling, she wasn't sure - above it.

Two jumps was all it would be. Taking a deep breath, Laurie jumped on to a smaller platform and then on to the next without a second thought.

And there, just below her, was the bunker entrance. She swung her legs over the edge, about ready to jump down when something exploded next to her, throwing her on to the floor and some sort of pipe landing near her.

Laurie lay there a moment, her ears ringing, the sound of both Randy and the house burning around her, and then the pain, the pain as the leather started to melt in to her arm. She screamed, only making the men outside shout louder as she struggled to get the coat off. The jacket hung off her arm, but using her foot to hold it down, she ripped it off, taking a little bit of the leather and skin with it.

She fell back to the ground, biting her cheek as she tried to stop herself from shaking, but despite how warm her arm was, she felt cold,

"Laurie. Fucking say something" Randy said from outside a barred window, she looked up at him,

"I… my… fucking… my arm" she shook her legs a couple of times, as if hoping it would help, she was so cold, but the pain was starting to waver a bit, the adrenalin was starting to kick in,

"We need to get this window off" Randy said, he pulled at the bars, hearing the hinges bend and warp, but he wasn't strong enough. He looked over to the truck, the pullie was attached at the back.

"Laurie, we'll be there now. Just don't go anywhere" Dom said, he was behind the window too now.

"You're not funny" Laurie had stopped shaking, taking deep breaths as she turned on to her belly. As she managed to push herself to her knees, the need to puke overwhelmed her as the bars on the windows were pulled away. Using both her arms to hold herself, she threw up just as Randy jumped through. He stopped, waiting for her to finish before he pulled her up gently. Laurie swayed to the side, but he caught her,

"Do I need to carry you out Laurie" he asked, she shook her head, "Okay, come on". Holding her by the shoulder and the hand, he guided her out; Dom and the flamethrower guy, who couldn't stop apologising, helping her through the window. Dom, having pulled a first aid kit from inside the truck, got to work quickly.

They sat her down, rubbing her arm with some sort of ointment, telling her something about getting a new occupation, about wrapping it in fish scales, but all she really cared about was that Randy went in to that bunker and got whatever it is they needed because she hadn't gone in there for nothing.

And, the fact that, off in the distance, she was sure as hell that she saw the Deputy running through the trees…

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys! This was a really fun chapter to write for me! And thank you for the reviews! Always great to know that people are getting in to it! Hopefully, I can keep you coming back for more!_


	30. Hard Truths

Chapter Thirty: Hard Truths

Laurie was sat in Hope County clinic.

She wasn't delirious. The deputy was out. But, Dom had convinced her that her arm was more important than the man she'd seen running through the forest – who could have been anyone, he'd said.

It definitely wasn't just anyone. She knew what the man looked like.

Still, now she had to wait. The doctors, the nurses, they just scuttled around her, almost as if she was diseased, a sickness, except for one. He walked over, introduced himself as Doctor Barnes and said he was willing to help, even if no one else was.

It was safe to say that he was a converted man of faith, devoted to the father and Edens Gate and, the only one there that was willing to help an injured 'Peggie'.

"I kind of forget that's what the locals call us" Laurie said as she sat down on the bed, he pulled the curtains over, "Quite creative really, isn't it",

"You could say that" the Doctor said as he pulled a spinney stool over to them, sitting in front of her, he gestured for her arm and she held it out to him. He turned it over gently, there were still pieces of leather attached to her arm, but with a bit of paste, he was able to gently pick them off. It would leave some small marks, hurt for a little while, but the leather had actually saved her from any real degree of burn.

"What were you doing when this happened" he asked, he didn't look up at her, he just turned her arm this way and that, gently dabbing at the sores and attaching dressings to the bigger sores with some white hospital tape,

"Traversing through a burning building" Laurie said, straight faced, he looked up at her, tilted his head from side to side, as if weighing her up and then nodded,

"I can see that",

"Thanks" Laurie said, not sure whether she was thanking him for believing her or thanking him because he thought she looked stupid enough to do it.

"I'm going to give you some ointment, some extra dressings. Keep it clean. Keep it covered" he spun around to a small table behind him, and turned back with a bandage. "Give it a couple of weeks, maybe a couple more" he shrugged, he took her arm again, wrapping the bandage around carefully before adding, "Should clear up nicely". Laurie turned her arm around as he sat back, hands on his knees,

"Thank you Doc" Laurie said,

"My pleasure" he turned around, "Now, I don't want to see you back here, right. No traversing through burning buildings or, jumping out of aeroplanes or, gun shot wounds, okay" he stood up and turned back to her,

"I'll do my best" Laurie said, she stood,

"Good girl. Now" he pulled open the curtains, "I assume I'm putting all of this on", he air quoted "the tab",

"They have a tab" Laurie asked, she sat back down, "John not got enough money to pay it all off in one full swoop", the doctor smiled,

"Actually, despite how" he shrugged, he didn't know the word, "that these colleagues of mine are, Edens Gate is the one keeping us on the ground. They just don't want to admit it" he looked over at a nurse who ducked away from him, "They can say what they like, but" he put his hands on his hips as he looked down at a note on the table, "If it weren't for them, this guy who had a…" he shivered, "Well, let's just say he had something stuck some where it shouldn't really be stuck…" he pushed the note in to a file, "And, well, if it wasn't for the 'Peggies', we would have lost out a load of money getting it out" he turned back to her, "Still, I'm also assuming, from the accent, you probably didn't think about getting insurance when you moved over here",

"It was mentioned" Laurie admitted, "But my dads a doctor… was a doctor… I don't know what he is…" she stood up, "I don't know where he is", Laurie picked up the grey hoody that Randy had passed her, to stop the shivering, "I don't care…",

"Frank" the Doctor asked, Laurie nodded, "Yes, sorted a place for him over in Henbane" he shrugged, "Damn shame. Need some good doctors round this place",

"Good" Laurie almost laughed, the doctor raised his brow, "You don't remember how he tried to shoot at our almighty leader, no" Laurie asked,

"I was there" he folded his arms, "I'm the one that put your brother back together again" he shrugged, "No matter what he did. His will to put things back together will always be more important to him than his will to tear things apart", Laurie looked down at her arm, that whole night, those, however many days, were a blur, but the doctor was wrong. She knew her dad. She knew the truth even when everyone else refused too.

"My father trying to put our poor family back together is what teared us apart" Laurie told him.

* * *

"What is this" Laurie asked as she inspected the burger she'd been passed, she held it to the light so she could see it better. It was getting late, getting dark, but she was starving, and this thing she held had so many specks of orange and green in amongst the red, she wasn't really sure if it was meat or not.

"The greatest beef to ever grace your lips" Ray said, he smiled at her and then glanced over at Ems who was sat with her legs crossed, a plate balanced delicately on top, awaiting her own,

"It's not the only beef he's got" Ems said, which only made Laurie shake her head at them and walk away. Their little lust fest had been cut short apparently, but it wasn't about to stop the flirting, or the whole making people uncomfortable and putting them off their food thing. It was almost as if they did it out of spite but, Laurie wasn't sure if Ems was in on that whole thing. Ray on the other hand, Canadian or not, he seemed like he was more of a jerk when he wasn't getting his own way.

However, neither Ems or him had said what had halted their little lust-filled love-making and Laurie wasn't about to ask.

They had all their fingers.

It couldn't have been that bad.

She'd also not gave herself the chance to ask. After the mornings escapade, she'd spent the day down by the boat house. They'd had a shipment of stock in from Henbane - bouquets of flowers, bags of seeds, some barrels of bliss, all for the near-by silo and the greenhouses just down the way. She couldn't imagine what would have been like to work with the bliss all day, but then she remembered what the Angels that Tom had brought with him were like and decided she didn't need to.

So, even though she was there, she'd just sat on the bench and watched.

The fisherman, Kyle, had sat with her for a little, leaving his rod extended over the water. The fish were being a bit stubborn lately he'd said, most likely because of the increase in boats coming and going. Laurie had suggested that he perhaps move himself elsewhere. He'd told her that he only fished where Joseph told him too.

So much for 'fishing to his hearts content'.

He hadn't sat with her long though, something had caught on the end of the rod and, after pulling up some sort of fish, he said he'd come back when it was quieter and try his luck again.

Now though, she found Dom sitting on the small stone wall and joined him,"What happened with the Deputy then"; they'd left her hanging last time she'd asked, but she wasn't about to let him get away with it this time. Dom leaned forward,

"Well, it seems John and the Deputy had a little talk. The guy said yes" he shrugged, "Then, when he wheeled Hudson away…" he snorted, trying not to laugh "He threw himself down some stairs and escaped",

"That's like something I would do" Laurie interjected before he continued,

"Took out a loud of our guys. Found John and Hudson" he put his hands under his chin, leaning his elbows on his knees, "John told him his sin was wrath",

"Ahh",

"Said to him that he should indulge in it", Laurie snorted,

"So, he let him go", she pushed up

"Not exactly" Dom said, he looked over at her, "He tried to keep him there. He wanted too" Dom shrugged as he stood, "But, he got out anyway. And when he did, John had to keep up that ruse. Told him he'd gut the girl if he didn't run" Dom looked over to the drive way, "He ran". Laurie shook her head,

"No. Anyone else had done what he'd done, they would have just shot him" she said, "Why not just… it doesn't make any sense",

"Does it not" Dom asked, "You've done a few questionable things…"

"Yeah" Laurie said, "You guys like to remind me that I shouldn't have got off so easily, but the Deputy" she almost threw her hands in the air, "He kills people, he sets them on fire, he steals stuff" Laurie looked at him "And he gets to run around wherever he likes and I get grounded", Dom was looking past her,

"Well, you can ask John yourself" Laurie turned around.

Johns truck.

Laurie took a step back as he opened his door, locking eyes with him instantly. He kept her eye for a moment before he glanced over.

Ads was getting out the other side.

"Ads" Laurie said quietly, Dom crossed his arms and smiled, and then, nudged Laurie forward when she didn't move.

Ads looked so different though. That lumpy young boy body was gone, he was toned and muscled, almost skinny, almost as if he hadn't been fed…

"Ads" Laurie said again, a little louder, catching his attention. Ads smiled at her, but it was quick and, when she went to wrap her arms around him, she felt him shrug away a little.

It wasn't anything new. He was never very affectionate. A typical teenager; but something was different,

"Hello Laurie" he said, he did squeeze her a little, and it felt genuine, but there was a wall, a wall that had never been there before,

"Hi" she pulled back, hands on his shoulders. It had felt like forever since she'd seen him, but it had been what, weeks? Maybe a month. She didn't even know anymore. His eyes though, they looked like they had sunk in a little, his face was so skinny, so different. He didn't look sick, but he didn't look himself.

It was then she felt Johns eyes, but she didn't look, she let Ads go and he smiled a little, taking a step back,

"Thought you could do with a moral boost" John said, she felt his hand on her back, she bit the inside of her lip, to stop the intake of breath,

"Ads" Randy shouted from over by the barbeque, "Hey, kid" he was coming over. Ads looked to John, as if he was looking for permission, Laurie turned to him as well, not realising how close he was. John gestured to Randy with his head and Ads went, making sure to squeeze Lauries hand as he passed. Laurie turned around and watched him, making John let go of her.

It was almost as if he walked different as well. That slouchy thirteen-year-old walk. It was gone, replaced by something more formal, almost mechanical, every step was calculated,

"What did y-" she turned back to John and he grabbed at her arm, which only made her flinch away from him, he flinched himself,

"I…" he trailed off, looking at the loose bandage that had come from her sleeve, "What have you" John came towards her again and she took another step back, he stopped. He looked hurt, she was sure of it, maybe it was just disappointment, "Laurie" he said softly. Laurie swallowed back the lump in her throat and pulled her sleeve up, showing him the bandage. He reached out, grabbing her hand, more gently this time, he turned her wrist, stroking it with his thumb before he took the loose piece of bandage and pulled it slightly, finding the end and wrapping it under her thumb to keep it more secure. "What happened", he looked up at her,

"The Armstrong house" Laurie said, she looked down, at his hands, "It was on fire", she felt his fingers tighten slightly around her hand, felt her heart skip a beat,

"And you went in to it" – the hurt was gone, that disappointment, that broodiness, that… Johns other hand snaked to the back of her head,

"John, I-" he pushed her, grabbing her by the waist so she didn't fall and pushed her in to the side of his van, his hand cushioned any hurt that would have come from her head slamming in to the metal. He leaned his head on hers,

"Laurie" he breathed, "I-" he moved his hand from behind her head, keeping the one around her waist, "I told you",

"I just…" she just what. It was a stupid idea. She should have waited. Even with Dom and Randy encouraging her, she knew not to do something like that. John had asked her.

"It's okay" John said quietly, he pushed away. Laurie looked up at him,

"No, it's not" Laurie said, "You…" she still didn't know. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair. She stopped herself, made herself look back over to Ads who was stood with Randy and Dom, a burger in his hand. He hadn't eaten any of it yet.

"Don't trust him Laurie" John said, he was near again now, whispering in her ear, "He's not the same boy that left the compound",

"I know" Laurie said, she didn't need to be told.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Here's a little one for you guys! I always enjoy writing John and Laurie scenes and the next couple chapters are rife with them! Thanks again!_


	31. Weak

Chapter Thirty One - Weak

"Wanna go for a walk" Laurie asked, John glanced over at her and Ads and she met his eye, he didn't look very pleased, but there was no real reason he could think of to make them stay within eye shot, so he looked back at Randy, continuing to listen to what John could think of nothing but small-talk to cover the fact that Randy had been smoking weed.

He knew the smell, knew the look, maybe Randy assumed that he had so much else to worry about, that he wouldn't notice, but he did.

But, just like Randy thought he would do, he let it go, just for now. There were worse things than smoking cannabis, but John noted it down. He'd seen Randy relapse before, seen him at his lowest point and this, this was nothing. Just a blip, a blip he was sure he could handle with a few more duties here and there, a bit more purpose.

"Come on" he heard Laurie say from behind him and, fighting the urge to tell her to stay put, he gestured for Dom to come over, re-routing the conversation on to him so he could slip away from them. John stepped in to his ranch house a moment later.

He missed it. He enjoyed his bunker, enjoyed the company, he was even getting used to the smell now, that metal, oily, bliss smell he couldn't really explain. But, he missed his house. Missed the fresh air. Missed being able to go in to his hangar and just play around with his airship, missed flying it over Hope County.

It was only when the reaping had began that he'd moved himself fully to the bunker, it was easier that way, made things go smoother, made his people less inclined to slack on their duties. But, it meant he didn't have the time he wanted to do the things he wanted to do.

And he'd accepted that. It had been hard but, there were things that had to be said no to.

And it didn't make him a hypocrite. It only made him more human.

Except, there was one thing he was finding harder and harder to say no too and, he was coming to the conclusion that saying yes wouldn't be that much of a bad thing. Not really.

There was just the problem of Joseph, even if Joseph had suggested it. Not in so many words, but he'd suggested it…

And perhaps it was enough to sway him.

And perhaps it wasn't and John would do it anyway.

John ran his hand over the table, over the rocket launcher just sat in the middle of it. He had to make sure that such weapons weren't left lying around. Anyone could come in and just blow the house to smithereens. He looked back, to the group of his men stood just outside, eating burgers and enjoying themselves.

Amongst the chaos, peace was needed occasionally. Otherwise, you forgot what you were fighting for. He looked to the door on the other side, wondering if Laurie and Ads had gone to sit in the garden out back. Dom had mentioned that she liked to sit out there, to think, or read, or just be. Her wrath, with nothing to provoke her, had been dormant. Yes, there had been a few hiccups, a few misguided judgements but, overall, she'd been doing well.

Far better than the ones around her.

* * *

"Where are we going" Ads said, that teenage whine was already back in his voice, although, she wasn't sure if it was from his teenage unwant to do anything, or because he was worried about doing something wrong. He still had that calculated walk, those brown eyes that seemed to scan the area around him.

It was weird and, he noticed, which only made it more awkward.

"Just down to the dock" Laurie said, she touched his shoulder, to squeeze it, but he moved away, taking a few steps in front. He led the way, even though he shouldn't know the way, he'd never been there before but still, she ended up following him to the docks.

There was a boat parked up near it, they'd been taking in a shipment when John had arrived, leaving the boat half full. John would have had a fit if he knew and that was the reason she decided not to tell him. Besides, the deputy was laying low and there was no worry about him stealing a boat full of bliss barrels, or the locals. The only thing they had to worry about was bliss-obsessed cultists and, with John in the area, a sneaky hit wasn't going to be worth it.

Kyle was there though, stood on the dock with his fishing rod.

"Whose that" Ads said, a jump in his step, a reach around to his back, as if he was drawing a weapon that wasn't there,

"Kyle" Laurie said, "You gonna shoot him with your imaginary gun? Is that what Jacob taught you to do, yeah" Ads fell back a step, put his head down, he almost looked as if he was about to walk away from her but, she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, "Come on, I'm only-" he ducked away, almost as if she'd frightened him, but he looked angry. Laurie took a few steps away, "Ads…",

"Just don't touch me" he said through his teeth, trying to contain himself, "We're going back now. I'm going home" Ads told her,

"Home" Laurie said, "Home. You mean the mountains…" she didn't know why it hurt so much, "Have you not seen yourself Ads" he turned away from her, clenching his fists as he started to walk away from her, "You're not you. You're not-",

"I'm everything that I was before" Ads turned back,

"No, it's not" Laurie said, "You're",

"My sin is wrath Laurie" Ads looked up at her, "Just like-",

"Who told you that. Did Jacob tell you that. Seriously…" she almost laughed. Ads, he'd been your typical teenager, a sulky thirteen-year-old boy who would rather play on video games than do his homework. He wasn't someone who hurt people, he was the one who stuck for them. His friends from school, her, Tom.

He was a good kid. Typical kid. But a good one.

How could his sin be wrath when the only thing he got angry over was a video game…

"No Laurie, you don't understand, you-", Laurie sighed,

"Tell me then. Have I never not understood before".

Ads stopped.

She did. She always did. She always gave him the time he needed, but this, this was something she couldn't understand, something he never wanted her too… because, she may have understood, but she'd be ashamed of him…

Turning back around to her, he looked over to the bench near the boat house. If he was gonna tell her anything, they'd have to sit down.

Sitting opposite each other, Laurie leaning forward on the bench, her fingers tapping the wood, as if she thought he would take her hand. It killed him how willing she looked to listen to him, how much she wanted to understand even if she thought it was bullshit.

That's what made her weak.

Jacob often told him that.

"You remember when me and Tom went with Randy to get that bear" she nodded, "The feel of the gun in my hand Laurie, that one shot… I don't know… I felt like I found my…" he looked to her, "My purpose".

"Ads, that doesn't constitute wrath as a sin" Laurie said calmly, "It-",

"But. When I left for the mountains. I realised how much I enjoyed it. I've spent… so much time trying to… stick up for people, trying to be a good person, I-" Laurie stopped him,

"You say that as if it's a bad thing Ads" she sat back, "As if being a good person isn't the right thing to do",

"Laurie. Being a good person doesn't matter… anymore…" he looked down at the thin lines in the wood, "The reaping has begun. We must do whatever it takes to survive. To save ourselves".

"Whatever it takes" Laurie said, she leaned her head on her shoulder, "Does that mean you shot some poor soul because Jacob told you that the father willed it".

His silence told her he had.

She knew she shouldn't never have listened to them. She knew what was going to happen. Knew that she'd gotten it easy. Knew she should have fought more. Knew Tom was lying.

Except now, what could she do. Ads wasn't the same boy, would never be the same boy. Jacob had fashioned him in to a killer just like she said he would.

It made her continue to sit there when Ads left her, making his way back up to the ranch without her.

This was what the Sheriff had meant, this is what these people did but then, why didn't she leave… Why didn't she just walk away now and join the resistance… Find her mum, her dad, why didn't she just run…

Because, they were right…

The resistance, they fought for good, for what they thought was good but, they didn't see what was coming. They were so blinded, so judging of the cult, so lost in what they were trying to achieve. They were just as bad as each other.

And, at least here, they weren't blinded to what people were really like.

Not all the time anyway.

"Laurie. Are you okay" it was Kyle. He sat opposite her, in Ads seat, having left his rod hanging over the water,

"Yeah. Just thinking" Laurie put her head on the table.

Honestly, it made her feel more and more like this whole thing was pointless.

None of them were going to win. No matter how many people said yes, how many people walked the path, how many people culled the herd. The reaping may have begun but, with the deputy allowed to run riot, able to escape from right under their fingertips…

Joseph wanted him for something, wanted him to see but, how had he not realised that he would never want to see, never want to be a part of what they had.

And what happened when the deputy got on Johns last nerve and he suffered because of it. Because Joseph wanted the Deputy so much to join them.

"Who was that with you" Kyle asked,

"Somebody I used to know" Laurie said, talking in to the wood, he was such a nice guy, she almost felt bad that she didn't look at him

John. She looked up, saw that Kyle had frozen, almost as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. He did a quick nod, stood up and walked back over to his rod. Both her and John watched him leave, this blank uncaring face plastered on Johns face for a moment before he looked back at her. He did a small smile and then held his hand out,

"Come with me little sheep".

Her head told her no. It always told her no. But she couldn't.

Laurie pushed up from the bench and took his hand. John looked down as he twisted his fingers around hers, playing with them for a moment before he stroked her palm with his thumb. Even after everything, she could still feel that buzz, that flutter in her stomach.

So much for her head trying to be logical when everything else betray her.

"Are we going anywhere" Laurie asked, a small smile on her lips as she brushed passed him, their hands unwinding as she turned to look at him. She swallowed back the lump in her throat as he took a step towards her,

"Ads will stay here until morning" John said, "Then, he'll go back to the mountains, and you. You are coming to the bunker", he reached for her hand again, but a gun shot made John throw himself over the top of her, throwing them both to the ground.

They lay there a moment, perfectly still, still enough that Laurie had to grab Johns shoulder just to make him look at her, to make sure he was still alive. Their faces were so close, she almost had a sudden want to lean in just that little bit closer but, a splash in the water ruined it.

Kyle.

"Kyle" Laurie pushed up,

"Don't" John held her by the shoulders,

"John, no",

"Laurie" he hushed her, listening. After a moment longer, of John looking up towards the hill, towards the ranch, he could hear his men trampling down the hill towards them.

John stood up, pulling her up with him, holding Laurie close, but she pulled away from him, walking towards the dock where Kyle had been stood. His rod was lying on the dock, the line still floating somewhere in the water. Laurie walked towards it, John following behind her.

She saw his jumper first, then she saw the rest of him. Just lying there, face down, floating, a pool of red surrounding his head.

It was then she saw the red light, resting in the water.

Laurie followed it up, to the hill, to a tree. A man was stood there, the white of his Edens Gate jumper standing out in the dark. John looked with her, finding him too.

"Ed" Laurie said under her breath,

"Laurie" John grabbed for her, pulling her back to him as Dom and Ads appeared,

"What happened" Dom said, Ads had a gun now, looking down the sights of it as he scanned the area,

"Keep her here" using his arm to back her up, John made his way up to where Ed was stood. Dom stood in front of her, but she didn't attempt to move,

"Ed shot Kyle" Laurie looked over to the fisherman again, his body still floating there. Dom looked with her,

"Fucking hell" Dom looked over at Ray and Mike who was stood near the path, gesturing his head towards the body. The two of them quickly picked him out of the water, lying him on the dock. The bullet had pierced the back of his head, the tip of it coming just through the front of his skull. "I'm sorry Laurie" Dom sighed as he glanced back to her, "I knew…",

Two seconds. That's all he'd taken his eyes off her for.

Laurie was stood just insight of John and Ed now. Ed looked as if he was sitting, John knelt in front of him. It was only as she got closer that she could hear what he was saying,

"Do you forget" he tightened his hand, Ed started to choke, his eyes started to bulge, "What I told you".

"John" Laurie said from behind him, "Stop",

"I told you" John didn't, he continued to squeeze, she could see Ed going blue, "That",

"John" Laurie pulled at his shoulder and John let go of him, Eds body going limp as it fell forward. John pushed up. Looking at Ed for a moment, John watched as his chest rose and fell, still alive. "John" Laurie said again, quietly, he turned around to her, she saw the heave in his chest, a need in his eyes but then, it stopped and he smirked, he took a step towards her and Laurie thought that she'd taken a step back but then, he was right there, in front of her, he put his hand out,

"Come with me", Laurie looked over to Ed and she saw John smile, "Don't act like you care".

* * *

 _Hey! Thanks for reading! Sorry, this wasn't supposed to take so long! Had crazy, sporadic night shifts at work with no internet so not had the time to post it! Thanks for all the new followers though! Look forward to bringing you more of this story!_


	32. Reality

Chapter Thirty-Two: Reality

At night, the ranch had this glow about it. The fire would be roaring in the hall, the lamps would be lit and everything was just so… peaceful.

If it wasn't for the tanoy preaching about the collapse and how everyone had to have a new bag if they got new stuff, it would be perfect.

Laurie had heard Josephs preaching so many times now, she could honestly say that she had it memorised. Every word, every sentence. She would say it along with him just to annoy Ems.

"Could you not just turn that thing off" Laurie said as John held the door to the hangar open for her,

"Why would I do that" he asked as she passed him, John let the door swing shut, the voice instantly quieter. Laurie watched as he reached for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers again before turning her around. His airship was still there, sat next to Nick Ryes yellow plane. "Fly with me" Laurie looked over at him,

"Are you sure we're not gonna get shot out the sky" Laurie said, John smiled as he made his way over to it, his hand pulling her along. Before she knew it, they were stood next to the wing. John let go of her, hoisting himself up as she turned to look at the Edens gate symbol painted on the side. She hadn't been in the hangar since that time her and Ads had been in there. She didn't know why; maybe cause of Ads. _Probably cause of Ads._

Although, before she could figure it out, she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned and John was knelt down, "Come on little sheep" he said softly, he put his hand out, to help her up. But instead, Laurie placed her hands on the wing and pulled herself up. John leaned over to the second seat, he reached in, pulled out a magazine, a hairbrush, window spray and some old rag that he just threw to the other side of the plane, shaking his head.

He'd told Randy and the others to stay well away from it. They could play with the Rye plane all they wanted, but they were to leave his alone.

One more thing to add to the never-ending list of things he had to sort out.

"Get in" John said, turning her head to her, still leaning over, he moved over a little, so she could get passed him and then he watched as she climbed in, this little smirk on his face as she struggled to get her leg over. Laurie caught it as she sat down, she almost wanted to smack it off his face, but then he pushed up and jumped in to his own seat with so much grace, she slumped back in her seat and wanted to sulk. "You ready to see the world from up high", John turned his head slightly,

"As long as I don't have to use that machine gun" Laurie said, her hand held on to a small handle just to the side,

"You'll be fine my little sheep" she heard him say as he started the plane up. "Put that headset on. This thing has a hell of an engine on it". Laurie took a deep breath and pulled up the headset hanging in front of her, she slipped it on, "Loud and clear" John asked, the radio-like-noise making her ears go a little funny as the outside world deafened itself,

"Loud and clear" Laurie said quietly, the plane started to move then, bumping tenderly across the ground as it went forward, a swift turn that made Laurie grab on to the sides, her stomach wanting to hurl already,

"I'll go easy on you" she heard John say, "Lean back, relax, look at the view". Laurie had her eyes closed as she felt the plane start to rise up,

"You forgot I don't like heights, right". Why had she even got in for. She could feel the wind now, the cold, the air.

Grappling, zip-lining. She could always see the floor. Those falls, they would have hurt her but, falling out of this… It would kill her. For sure.

"Just another step in your atonement" John said,

"I hate you" Laurie said quietly. Hopefully quietly enough that he didn't hear, but then she felt his eyes on her, could imagine him turning his head to look at her,

"Open your eyes little sheep. See the county you live in" John said.

Laurie took another deep breath, and another, and then, then, gripping on to that handle really tight, she opened her eyes.

Laurie didn't know what to expect. She honestly thought she'd see cloud, maybe just the black of the sky, like you would in an aeroplane but, it wasn't anything like that. The clouds were still high above them, which she knew because she was looking up. They were closer, but not as close as she'd expected.

"There's nothing new up there" John said, he dipped the plane down a little and Laurie felt her stomach heave,

"Please John" she closed her eyes again. The plane started to level out, her stomach started to ease, she wanted to say that she could see the stars better like this, but opening her mouth may have given out more than words,

"Look" John said to her, "Please Laurie".

Laurie opened her eyes, still staring up, but then she looked to the back of Johns head, to the tops of the mountains that lay in front of them. It was dark, but her eyes adjusted, the moon light helped. John turned his head ever so slightly, a smile on his face as he watched her look to her side, to the fields and the hills of the valley. "Not that bad, no" John asked, he sat back in his seat. She hadn't hurled yet, which could only be a good sign.

John looked down at the controls, at the steering. It may have sat dormant for a little while, might have been a little jumpy at the beginning, but it ran so smooth when it got going. This was one of the things he could never get enough of.

The other thing was still gripping on to the handle for dear life as she looked over at the river below them.

"I'm taking you up to Hope County's HOLLYWOOD sign" John said, he fidgeted in his seat, a little excited,

"I forgot how big your ego was" Laurie said quietly,

"No, you didn't. You just enjoy it more" John told her,

"Uh huh".

It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be and, just having the plane go at a nice, leisurely place, only just able to hear the engine beyond the headphones, her own breathing, Johns breath every now and then, her stomach wasn't so tense. A dip could still make her hurl, but at this point, right now, she was okay.

And the view was gorgeous. John had been right.

From the ground, Hope County was beautiful, but on the ground, the blood was easier to see. Up here, it was like none of it mattered, just them and the night sky. The moon shining on the river. Lamps and house lights illuminating the ground. Everything about it was just so perfect, she wanted so much to forget about all of it, to just imagine, for a moment, that all the shit that had gone down wasn't real. That her parents hadn't left her. That Tom wasn't so obliviously obsessed with the bliss (because he was, whether he was friends with those angels or not). That Ads hadn't become what he was. That the Deputy hadn't escaped again. That John wasn't…

Hell. Laurie sat back in her seat, leaning her head back.

John. He wasn't perfect. Hell, he was probably one of the worst people she'd ever met. Politically. Literally. And, all those things but… But what… That flutter in her stomach, that buzz. After everything, she felt safe with him. She felt safer with him than she did Ads, then she did her brother, her parents.

And that must have meant something.

It had to.

"And there she is" John said, so delicately, Laurie smiled, turning to look at Hope County's HOLLYWOOD sign.

At certain points in the ranch, you could see the big ass YES sign in the distance. And, close-up, it looked weathered, bits of brown in the tiles that it was made up of, but still, it was Hope County's HOLLYWOOD sign and, it was kind of magnificent.

"Not bad" Laurie said,

"Not bad" John repeated. John steered the airship to the right a little; softly, so not as to ruse Laurie's stomach, heading for more of the mountains. "We'll fly over some of Jacobs and then head back" John told her,

"Not gonna let me fly" Laurie said, adding, just to make him a little jealous, "Randy did",

"Maybe next time little sheep" John said, there was this curiosity in his voice, this wonder, but John let the comment slide and Laurie sat back in her seat again, she closed her eyes, felt the wind, the fresh air.

There was no bliss smell up here. How had she only noticed that now. Was the air so polluted down on the ground that it had only just worn off. "When are you going stop squeezing my handle". Laurie flinched her eyes open, only noticing then how much her hand hurt.

Yes, it wasn't that bad, but every little turn, every little thump of the engine, her hand had gripped harder on to her little safety feature. She let go, but it felt as if her hand was still wrapped around it. She wiggled her fingers, her other hand was now holding on to the side, but only to steady herself.

She was okay. Everything would be fine.

"Do we have to go back" Laurie found herself say as she started to see the white peaks of the mountains in front of them,

"We do" John said, so quietly, so unwillingly, she knew, right then, the act he pulled off, it was just that. An act. He wanted a family, wanted people to love, people to love him back, all that. He just didn't know how. Not really.

But all of this. All the blood. all the loss; the grief, the hate, the consumption. It just happened and, the resistance, the Deputy, Joseph; they were all pushing to an end goal that resulted in the same thing. And John, maybe even Jacob, maybe Faith too, were just pawns in the game, as easily cast aside as any other.

But, this wasn't the time to dwell on it. Not now. The more she did, the more it would push John in to that space he always fell back in to; that broody, un-nerving space that made her skin crawl. John was happy, he had a smile on his face. And she had to let him have that. Because it wasn't an act. It was real.

And he needed it.

The mountains were just as magnificent as the valley, except the lights were a bit more sporadic and, she could see red ones dotted here and there. She wondered what they were, wondered if John knew, wondered if she really wanted to know.

That's was Ads world. And, maybe if she wanted to understand it more, she'd have to ask. Laurie loved him and, whether or not he'd killed anyone yet, she was probably falling in love with a sadistic psychopath - so judging Ads and his decisions wasn't exactly allowed.

It must have been the fresh air that had done that to her. She could think so easily up here, she almost wondered if she could just steer them out, just keep going north, keep going forward. Eventually, they'd come to some town that wasn't Hope County. One that didn't have to worry about people coming to kill them whilst they slept, about the collapse. Just die in idle obliviousness when it happened. Maybe that was better.

But then, Laurie also wanted to live. She hadn't figured out why yet. And, considering no one else was attempting to save them from Gods wrath, she guessed her chances were a lot better here than they were there.

Damn. The air did make everything seem so much clearer, maybe even brighter. Maybe worse. Maybe the bliss was good for something more than making you forget, making you sleep. It kept you willing. Kept you saner.

Hell. Laurie didn't know.

"Turning back now" John said, which made Laurie grab for the handle again, but it was so swift, so soft, she didn't feel it, "Next time, I'll take you during sun set, or maybe dawn" John shrugged, "Even better then". Laurie sat up, looking over to the county below. She hadn't looked straight down yet. She hadn't built up the courage to do it. Maybe the darkness helped, not being able to see properly.

"That'd be nice" she almost forgot to say. It was only as they started to go lower, that they could hear the chitters of the radio picking up some stray signals. Nothing sinister, just some cult chatter. Nice, peaceful chatter. The Deputy really was on the down-low.

Eventually, she could see the glow of the ranch, exactly the same as they'd left it.

"I will land as best I can, but the run-ways a little bumpier than what I would like" John said, he sounded pissed off, sounded more like the John everyone else knew. All Laurie could do was hope she could keep flying John just a little bit longer whilst they landed, but she wasn't gonna get her hopes,

"I got my handle, it's okay" Laurie said. John turned his head back, almost looking as if he was going to laugh,

"I'll be careful" he said through a chuckle. Laurie smiled and put her head back.

She looked up at the sky, at the stars. She felt the airship start to dip, the engine rumble, felt the first bump of the ground, then the next, and the next and then they were there, rolling up the run-way.

"Perfect landing" John said, he turned the airship in to the hangar, parking it up right next to Nicks.

"Perfect" Laurie said quietly. She was now looking up at the hangars roof, at the beams, at the balcony that surrounded them. Then, she felt fingers wrap around her hand which was again, attached to the handle.

"You can let go now little sheep. No more scary heights" John said quietly, arching his brow as he stroked her fingers. She let go, letting their fingers twine together for a moment before she pushed up. John didn't want to let go, wanted to just pick her up and help her out, but he stood back before he slipped off the wing, holding her hand so she could jump down. John grabbed on to her waist then, softly at first, and Laurie wanted to pull away, but she didn't. She never did.

Somehow, John backed her up, slowly, this want in his eyes as her back met the hangar wall. They could hear the tanoy again now, Johns teachings about the power of YES. Reality was just beyond that door.

"I've missed you" John said quietly, he leaned his forehead on hers, a heave leaving his chest, as if he was accepting the reality again. That want, that need, it was starting to simmer. Laurie placed her hands-on Johns chest, on his jacket with the little aeroplanes on it. "That's why I'm taking you to the bunker" he said after another moment, "At least there I can keep a better eye on you" he pushed off her then, using the wall behind her. He took a step back, even turned to leave, but she put her hand out and his eye caught it,

"Just…" Laurie didn't know.

Still, he came back, and he was so close. Again. She couldn't stop herself.

Laurie kissed him.

And he didn't move. He didn't kiss her back; but he didn't move, didn't push her away.

Laurie stopped, leaned her head on his, he looked so sad, like he had back at the Deputies cleansing, when Joseph had spoke to him. Laurie pulled away, but then his hand touched the back of her head, ran his fingers through her hair, fell down to her neck, caressing the back of it as his other hand pulled her in to him. Laurie grabbed on to his shoulder, could feel the tightness in his grasp. She felt a passion, felt this heat, but she felt scared as well, maybe as scared as he was.

Then he let go.

And, for a moment, she thought he was gonna leave her again. Just go, act as if nothing had happened, but he put his hand out,

"Come sit with me Laurie" John said.

Inside the ranch, sat down on the sofa, Laurie on one side, John on the other; after just sitting there for a good long while, both of them trying to decide what it was they would do next, Laurie just started to talk. She didn't mention that night, but she talked about Ems, about Tom, about Ads, about her parents, about Nick, about Boomer. And John listened, because it's what he did best – and it made her feel terrible, but he was the only one who would. When she was finished, he said he understood, understood why she did what she did, but he told her that the world was different now, that mercy wasn't always something you should give a man to give yourself a better conscious.

Laurie knew that now. Still, she said she didn't regret it. John said that was fine.

It was Johns turn then and, although he never mentioned anything of the Deputy, of Hudson, she felt like they wove themselves in to his words anyway. She could hear the words he didn't say so easily in the words he did. It was so plain, so simple, so there, and, no one else was listening. That enough he was trying to find, it was slipping further and further away.

Laurie didn't know when she fell asleep, she remembered that there was a long pause. Like an awkward silence that wasn't awkward. She remembered telling herself she shouldn't lean her head on the back of the sofa and let her eyes started to close, but she did, and she stared at him to begin with, through the long blinks, lounging back, looking in to the fire, all content and un-like John like.

The flying had calmed him down. That kiss, well, she didn't even think he remembered it. There was nothing. No reaching out, no touching, no finger tips tapping on the space between them. Like before.

Hell, she had no idea what was happening.

She never did.

Not when it came to him.

Even when she thought she did.

Which made it all that weirder when she woke up in his bed.

* * *

 _Here's another, hope you enjoy!_


	33. Romans: Chapter Seven

Chapter 33 – Romans: Chapter Seven

Laurie took in the familiar surroundings of Johns room.

The stale sheets, the hint of aftershave. Laurie pushed herself up, saw her jacket in a nice folded pile by her shoes on the floor next to her. She didn't even remember getting up and moving. She was sure she'd fallen asleep on that sofa.

It was then she heard it, that soft, small snore. Laurie turned her head to the other side of the double bed.

John was here. Lying next to her. He was facing away from her, his back bare, pieces of tatoos, both ink and carvings peeking up above the covers. She went to reach out, to touch him but, then he moved and she flinched back, turning away from him. Laurie put the cover over her head for a moment, taking a deep breath, listening for any more signs of him getting up, but it was quiet.

Laurie pushed the covers off slowly and lied on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

It shouldn't have bothered her, not really. Her clothes were all on, the clock next to her was telling her that it was five in the morning, far to early for her to have been doped up on bliss. Sure, the last thing she remembered was sitting on the sofa, but still, she didn't think John would ever cross that sort of line. But still, why had he just not left here there. Laurie sat up.

John fidgeted again, put his arm underneath his pillow, getting himself more comfortable, sighing in his sleep.

She could see the side of his face now, so relaxed, so content, so calm... It's as if he hadn't slept for such a long time, and, she wondered if he had. If anything, when was the last time he'd slept here, in his own bed.

The thought made her feel worse. John had so much on his plate, so much to do, so much to put up with, and, there she'd gone, adding just that little bit more on to it. Making it all the worse.

Nothing could ever happen. She knew that. She'd always known that.

So... why had she done it.

Why ruin everything when she could have just let it go.

But then, the fact that he didn't even react to it. That he didn't push her away... it just made it all the more complicated. If he was so against it all, he wouldn't have let her, he would have stopped her, but he didn't, he just stood there. And then, the John she liked, the one she could spend hours talking too, or just sitting with, she had for that little bit more time.

And she had no idea what that meant. No idea what was going on in that head of his.

It was why she decided that she shouldn't still be there when he woke up.

It was an awkwardness she wasn't going to wait for.

Getting out of the bed slowly, slipping on her trainers just that little bit, grabbing her jacket, Laurie walked around to the door slowly, watching John as she did. He still looked so peaceful, so quiet. Then she saw why. The draws next to the bed were open, the small strongbox with the bliss inside, one less vial. It was clutched in Johns hand. No wonder he was so out of it.

Laurie left him, opening the door slowly to the 'fresh' Montana air. The sun had risen yet, not completely, but she could see it in the distance, pushing up from below the tree's, the mountains. It was cold for a Montana morning, but she pulled on her jacket, took a deep breath and leaned on the balcony, waiting. For what, she wasn't sure yet.

This air though, after having been up in the plane, it smelt so much different, had that little more 'edge' to it. The whole of Hope County was high on the bliss and they didn't even know it. Laurie chuckled at herself, put her head down on the bannister. There were a couple of the men, down on the ground, patrolling, but neither of them looked up.

It was only then as she looked down to where the barbecue had been that she saw Ems, sitting in one of the fold-out chairs and looking up at her, her arms crossed.

"So" Ems said as Laurie sat down on the floor opposite her, "Tell me everything",

"What?".

"You just snuck out of his room",

"No, I didn't",

"I saw you"

"I didn't sneak out" Laurie insisted,

"He's in there, isn't he" Ems stood up, looking up at the balcony, almost as if she was able to look through the door,

"Ems…" Laurie lay back,

"Well, he's not in the hall, or the barracks. His van is still-",

"Nothing happened Ems" Laurie said, "I must have fell asleep and he just…" put her to bed she guessed. It was no secret that she didn't like falling asleep on that sofa. John was just being considerate. Why he hadn't just taken her back to the barracks was a different thing all together.

"That you know of" Ems plonked herself back down and Laurie put her hands behind her head,

"I don't think that's Johns style" Laurie said. John was a lot of things. But he wasn't that.

"True… You wouldn't have had much trouble saying yes to that, would you" Ems agreed. She put her head back, closing her eyes. Laurie sighed and pushed herself up so she was leaning back on her elbows. She looked at Ems, wondering if the girl was about to leave it at that, but you could see that she was just waiting for Laurie to tell her more.

And Laurie had to. When it came to John, even if Ems was completely useless, she was trustworthy,

"I kissed him" Laurie said before she lied back again. Ems hadn't really been expecting that though,

"What… When" Laurie almost thought she would sound disappointed, maybe jealous, maybe a little stung, but she sounded excited,

"In the hangar" Laurie replied, she kept looking up at the sky,

"And?",

"And… that's it" Laurie closed her eyes,

"What did he do" Ems asked,

"Nothing…" Laurie said.

Now that was disappointing,

"Ohh…" Ems tilted her head, leaning it on her shoulder, "What was it like",

"I don't even know" Laurie said honestly, she shrugged, "I just did it, and…". Laurie had no clue.

"Well, you're fucking useless, aren't you" Ems huffed as she wriggled in the chair and pulled out a pair of sunglasses from her pocket and placed them on her head, Laurie smiled,

"Thanks",

"Then you spent the night in bed together and nothing happened" Ems asked, now she was disappointed,

"I think he dosed himself up on bliss" Laurie told her,

"Are you really that bad" Ems said, peaking at her through the glasses. Laurie smiled again and looked to the sky. "Yall just need to sort your shit out", Laurie sighed,

"Don't I know it" Laurie pushed herself up, leaning back on her elbows "Why are you up so early for anyway". It wasn't like Ems at all. Usually, she and Ray spent a lot of the night sneaking off in to the wilderness to fuck, and then, she'd sleep for most of the morning unless someone woke her up,

"Honestly" Ems sighed, "I'm a bit sad about Kyle". Ems had liked him, they hadn't spoken much, he wasn't really a talker, but they'd spent 'time' together, he probably never saw it as that but, she would sit down at the boat house regularly so she could watch him fish, covering up her googly eyes with words of encouragement to the men on the boats. And then, when they drove off in to the river, she'd move in and bombard him with a couple questions, which he was always so scared of answering – Ems chuckled at the thought – and then she'd ask if he would teach her to fish, and then, he'd go bright red and run away. "Anyway… Why didn't you stay" Laurie sighed, "Whether you did it last night or not". Laurie wondered if it was possible that her eyes could roll right in to the back of her head. "Morning sex. Now that, that would make up for it, and, the fire would be burning the whole day" Laurie laid back, placing her arm over her face, feeling her cheeks burn,

"Ems…",

"Speak of the angel. There he is"

Laurie could imagine Ems standing, put her hand above her eyes to shield them from the non-existent light, to peer up. Laurie didn't look though, just in case she was.

"He certainly does not look like he had sex last night. Certainly not happy enough" Ems chair squeaked a little as she sat back, folding her leg over her knee,

"Does he at least look not angry" Laurie asked,

"He looks like good old John" Ems said, "And now, he's looking over here. He's looking at me – of course. Oh, and what a surprise, he's looking at you now. All casual like though, as if he's looking at the grounds and shit, but I know, I know… Now, now he's turned around. He's going back in to this room. No. Word. Of. A. Lie. He just winked at me, he wants me to go with him",

"Uh huh" Laurie moved her arm, Ems sighed,

"Girly, you should have looked. You missed one hell of a sight",

"Ems, I saw him getting that bed-head look, it's okay",

"You should have stayed" Ems insisted,

"And then what" Laurie shrugged, "Make it all the more awkward",

"Well, I think he did that. Don'tcha think. Obviously wants more than he's letting on. Not like anyone would tell on you either. It's John".

Laurie sat up, "You know. That time, when my dad went 'bat-shit crazy' and the cult nearly trampled all over me, and I nearly died in a crash and then, realised, my parents had left me" Ems nodded, "I stayed in one of the convents outside the church, in a room. And I was crying, vulnerable as hell, beat up, needing attentions. And you know what he did".

After a moment, with sporadic jazz hands and a dramatic puff, Ems announced,

"Nothing", Laurie smiled,

"He sat there, stroked my head and" Ems was sat up, leaning her head on her hand, listening, "Did nothing. He could have. God knows I would have. But he didn't Ems… and I don't think it's because he's gay, or this thing we have is something I made up in my head" Ems smiled at that, "But, because, deep down, he doesn't want to be that guy anymore. The one you expect him to be. He wants to prove to himself that he can push his own boundaries without falling in to old habbits",

"Laurie. Girl. Listen, right. I've always thought. Even since I slapped eyes on you to love sick puppies. You and John. He either, one" she lifted a finger, "Wants to fuck you, or two" she lifted a second finger, "He's in love with you. Now, maybe you're right. But. Maybe. Maybe we just found the answer to my hypothesis",

"Neither really gives a good outcome Ems". Laurie laid back again. Tom had said that before.

"Ai, but one's definitely less worse in the eyes of the Father, don'tcha you agree",

"The last thing the Father wants is anymore distractions".

"Do you love him" Ems asked after a moment,

"What",

"Do you", Laurie sighed,

"I don't know",

"Well, that's your next task" Ems laid back in the chair.

Laurie considered getting up, maybe taking a walk, but then Ems nudged her with her foot and said,

"And pose",

"What" Laurie looked up. John was standing there, looking down at her.

"Ems. Can you leave us" John said. The tone of his voice sent shivers down the both of their spines, except, it thrilled Ems and terrified Laurie. Laurie sat up. Ems stood, squeezed Lauries shoulder and then sauntered off, John watcher her go, heading towards the hangar where one of his men – Ray – was sat as look out in the guards tower. John looked back at Laurie,

"I didn't take you for the leave before you get up type" John said – very matter of factly – before he turned on his heel and went towards the hall.

It through Laurie completely and made it so she couldn't even get up yet. This man was like the maze from Harry Potter, twisting, turning, changing. It took her another moment to realised that he had stopped, that he was waiting for her, expecting her to follow him like she always did.

But she didn't, she sat there.

And sure enough, he came back to her,

"Laurie" John said, standing next to her,

"You can't do that" she said quietly, "Don't",

"I happen to remember you started it" John said in to her ear as he knelt down and pulled her up, Laurie snatched her arm away from him,

"This isn't a game you know John. This isn't like you and the Deputy. This-" John grabbed her chin and Laurie flinched, shutting her eyes. His thumb stroked her cheek and then he put his forehead on hers,

"Get your things together" John said, "Once I'm back from my meeting with my brother, we're taking Ads back to Jacobs, and then, we're going to the bunker" Laurie opened her eyes and breathed out the breath she'd been holding, a sob stuck in her throat. John sighed, lifted her head up, "Laurie, do you know what Paul the Apostle, Romans Chapter Seven was getting at",

"You know. I do things I don't want to do" Laurie swallowed back the sob, "The things I should do. I don't do" she stood back and he let her go, his touch soft as their hands intermingled for a moment. "That doesn't make it any better",

"No, but maybe it'll make you understand" John said quietly, he held his hand out then. "Come on, little sheep, time to go".

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you're still enjoying!


	34. Plans

Chapter 34 - Plans

It's amazing how much she didn't have. How much she didn't need…

They hadn't come with much stuff to begin with. A suitcase with clothes in, boxes with pictures inside – which never did make it on to the wall; books her father hadn't been able to leave behind, some cutlery her mum were convinced they had to bring with them, and then, some nic-naks that were supposed to mean something. Nik-naks even her parents had left strewn across the floor after they'd been back.

Laurie picked up her phone, which had been dead for longer than she ever thought possible. It had sat in the bottom of the drawer next to her bunk since she'd came here. At one time, she would have been on it every day, texting, socialising, making calls. She was surprised she let it go so easily, surprised she hadn't made such of a fuss of it. But then, it wasn't this place had done that, wasn't the Seeds or the cult, it was the knowing that her father would have jabbed at her for it, would have snuck in a more snide comments that she didn't want to hear.

Placing the phone back in to the drawer, leaving it for whoever decided to look through it. It wasn't something she needed anymore.

Her stuff now. It consisted of some plaid shirts, jeans, a grey jacket that had the edens gate symbol dyed in to the back of it, Josephs little black book, a crossword book Randy had given her once – that she still hadn't looked in yet and, a little Edens Gate pendant that she'd found down by the boat house one morning.

None of it was actually hers. Not really. Most of the clothes were Ems and the other stuff never felt like hers. Although, it didn't bother her as much as she thought it would. Guess the end of the world did that to you.

Although, she hoped she could take her pillow. If anything, it's the one thing she didn't share with anyone.

Then she wondered if someone would replace her. Then wondered if there'd be any point considering she didn't actually do that much. Then, she started to wonder what the bunker was like. Wondered if it was really that wise that she was going at all.

Laurie sat on her bunk for a moment, about to lie back and have one last look up, at the old intricate details wrapped around the small lights in the ceiling when Dom came in, holding a scroll of blue paper,

"Laurie, I need to show you something, come on" he gestured with the scroll for her to follow before he turned around. Leaving her bag of meagre belongings on her bed, Laurie eventually followed him. He was leaning on one of the crates just outside, the paper rolled out in front of him,

"This here is your next stash" Dom said, he pointed at what Laurie decided must be a hatch of some sort, "This is the way in" his finger trailed across the paper to the end of it "This is the lever you have to pull to get in to here" he moved his finger to what she assumed was a door,

"And I have to, why" Laurie asked, she tilted her head, trying to make heads and tails of all the lines. It seemed like a simple task. No traversing burning buildings or broken windows.

Dom shrugged, "Because everyone else has their thing, and this, is yours",

"It's my purpose" Laurie air-quoted as she leaned back on the crate, still looking down at the plans,

"It doesn't seem like a lot, but your supplying us with things we need. Guns, ammo, food, reading material, hell, that Elliot house you traversed, that bunker, it had a whole heap of supplies hiding in there. That Armstrong bunker, damn, it had some sweet stuff in there too"

"Huh",

"We appreciate it Laurie. John does too. It's why he's decided to take you" Dom didn't sound so convinced, "Decided that whatever loot you find in the stashes would be better quipped going straight back to the bunker than here or one of the outposts".

Outposts they'd steadily been losing, but Dom didn't mention that part. They'd almost lost another that very day after a group of rebels – minus the Deputy – decided they were going to try and take a stand of their own. They'd failed miserably, most had been caught and were now enjoying Johns hospitality at the bunker. Still, it meant that the resistance was growing a bigger pair of balls than before, and that didn't boad well for anyone.

"Still" Laurie said, "John could do that",

"Have any of your stashes been without risk",

"What could possibly go wrong from here to there" Laurie asked, she turned back around so she was facing it properly, pulling it over a little so it was in front of her instead,

"This bunker is a DIY build, no safety certificates, no nothing. Whole thing could blow up as soon as you pull the lever" Dom crossed his arms,

"Uh huh" Laurie doubted they valued her life that little, but then she looked at him, just to make sure. The smirk told her they didn't,

"No, won't blow up, but, might just be a little unstable, some wires might be a little crossed",

"Where is it" Laurie asked,

"On the way to the bunker" Dom said, "John decided he could kill a few birds with one stone",

"He doesn't need any stones for that".

* * *

Ads was stood with John as he held his vans passenger door open, about to get in. Laurie watched them for a moment, deciding that she was going to go and sit in the rear garden, just one last time, just in case she didn't get to do it again but then, John caught her eye and gestured her over with his hand. She considered not going, then decided it wasn't worth it. Ads turned away from them both as she reached them, walking towards the hangar.

She had no idea if it was because of John or because of what had happened the night before, but she felt like she'd fucked up with both of them and only one was seeming to take the hump with her. And the worst thing was – it was the wrong one. Completely. John distancing himself, the big-ass broody mess that he was most days was nothing that new, but it was the last thing she wanted with Ads.

"I won't be long" John said, Laurie nodded, but she was still watching Ads walk away from them. "Go talk to him. It's a long way to the mountains and I do not think I can stand you sulking like children the whole way",

"No, that's your job" Laurie asked, looking to him, the hints of a smile on his face as he got in the van and closed the door over. The window rolled down and he put his arm out,

"I won't be long" John repeated, but this time, it was more for his own benefit.

Randy, who was in the drivers seat started the engine, and they backed out, driving down the driveway.

John leaned his head back and let out a long breath.

Ever since the Deputy had escaped, Joseph had been knuckling down on him. He didn't mind, he knew what had to be done, but if he was being honest with himself... That last night, John had almost convinced himself that Laurie was right – that they should have just kept flying – but, in that world; the world that had beat him down, made him do terrible things, made him in to what he was now, he didn't want anything to do with it.

John believed in Joseph, in his words, in what he was trying to achieve, John wanted a family, wanted something that wasn't materialistic or false, and he believed that's what he'd get. He just had to prove himself. Had to prove that he was doing everything he could – for the project, for its people, for Joseph.

But, most of all, he had to prove that Laurie going to the bunker was for her sake. That she was valuable enough, useful and, at the bunker, she'd be safe. From the Deputy's wrath, from Jacob who was convinced she'd be better use to him, from the bliss her brother had told him she belonged in.

Hell, his path wasn't exactly painless, but once you walked it, you were treated well. Faith may have created her angels, but they were mindless, labourers, completely lost to the world – and Jacob, well… the thought of what he'd done to Ads already made him shudder. And, if anything, that wasn't what he wanted for her, especially as she was doing so well, minus the few hiccups, which he was sure they could get over. They had to. Joseph had to see that.

* * *

Laurie was sat out the back of the house, on the deck chairs overlooking the valley.

Her bag was sat on her lap now, the blueprints of the bunker sticking out the top of it. She'd attempted to look for Ads but, after going through to the hangar and finding nothing but the two planes, she decided to go sit for a little while.

If the collapse did come soon, it would most likely be the last time she'd see the view in all it's glory. Maybe it'd be the last she'd ever sit and be able to admire the view at all.

"Can I sit" Ads asked as he came up behind her, she turned her head to him. As well as his red hoody, which he'd arrived in the night before, he was wearing a leather trench coat thing and a red balaclava that covered the top of his head, but which he'd pulled down so she could still see his face. Laurie was sure she'd seen something similar once, when they'd been at that outpost that the Deputy had attacked, that white wolf had been near to a man with a red balaclava on, some sort of leather vest and high fitted boots.

Laurie decided not to pry, that was Ads world.

"Sure" she said. Ads sat, hands on his knees as he looked down at the ground,

"Are we okay" he said quietly,

"Yeah", Ads nodded and sat back.

"I miss this place sometimes" he said quietly, looking at the view with her,

"Do much fishing up in the mountains",

"No, just training" Ads tilted his head, he didn't mind it. It had been tough, Jacob wasn't an easy man to get on with, he wasn't a people's kind of person but, he had this routine that Ads wanted to follow, had this purpose that he could reach, this strength he never thought he had. Although, he didn't really want to talk about it, "Have you done many stashes" Ads asked,

"Ahh, you know, traversing burning buildings, jumping in to bunkers" Laurie shrugged a shoulder, still looking to the view, "Mostly just sat around here though" Laurie pulled out the scrolled blueprint from the opening in her bag, "Actually have one to do today", she twiddled it in her fingers,

"There's a few up in the mountains that we can't get in to" Ads said, he sat up again, "We got sent out to a house, heard some rumour about a yeti, about the guy with the key getting eaten… by a yeti",

"A yeti" Laurie asked,

"Yeah",

"Well, just gotta look out for some majorly big shits with shiny stuff inside" Laurie saw Ads smile, holding back a small chuckle as he let out a long breath, he closed his eyes. Laurie stood up, "Come on, let's have one last walk around this place".

* * *

They'd come around to the front when Ads said, "Randy said you went flying last night",

"I did" Laurie said, she also did a many lot of other things, but Ads was seemingly oblivious to it, which was fine with her,

"What was it like" and there it was, the Ads she'd known, the curious one, the willing to know one,

"It was really nice" Laurie said, "So much different from being on the ground" she nudged him softly, "Has Jacob not taught you how to fly a plane yet". Ads crossed his arms and Laurie nudged him again, saw him smile as he let his arms fall to his side, he looked like he was finally starting to relax,

"I've still not finished my training just yet" Ads said quietly, he slowed a little, "I just… I have one last thing to do" and it was the worst kind of thing, the thing that would separate the strongest from the weakest,

"What's that" Laurie asked.

There was a whoosh then, a silent whoosh, but it flew past her ear, popping them, making her duck away from it. She turned around to Ads, almost thinking that he'd tried to slap her or something, but he was only stood there. His brown eyes wide and looking up towards his forehead. A bullet was planted right between his eyes.

Whether she screamed or not, Laurie couldn't remember, but she spun back around, her mouth open and looking to the spot where a sniper lay on the roof.

Laurie must have screamed, the alarm went off seconds later, more shouting, screaming as more bullets flew. And then, a pain, a real sharp pain that seemed to push her over. She fell on to Ads who was now laying on the floor, she called to him, pulled at his balaclava, but then the pain got too much and she fainted.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading guys! Hope you're still enjoying it! This chapter marks the end of Act 2!_


	35. His Sacrifice

Act 3

Chapter 35 – His Sacrifice

"The deputy just took off with the Ryes plane".

John slammed his fist down on the dashboard, "For fucks sake", Randy slowed the truck, avoiding his gaze as they made their way back in to the valley from Henbane, John grabbed for the radio and pulled it towards him, its lead fraying at the end, "Shoot it down", he let it go and it pulled itself back with a clunk.

It was only then that he realised that they'd stopped, he turned to Randy, this terrifyingly calm look on his face that made Randy start the truck up again.

His meeting with Joseph hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped. Now, Joseph, like Jacob, wanted Laurie to go to the mountains, thought she'd be safer, that she'd progress further. She'd done all she could with John – that's what he'd said, as if she was just going to be passed around like some… John took a deep breath and put his head back. This was the reason, this feeling, this thing; if the Deputy didn't kill him, this would. One way or another.

"John" Dom came over the radio, John pressed the button,

"What" he doubted they'd shot him down yet,

"Laurie…" he trailed off, some background noise came through, some small soothing voices before something sounded like it fell, "She's…",

"Dom" John grabbed the radio,

"She's been shot" Dom said, "And Ads… Ads is dead".

Joseph had been right.

He was always right.

"Is she…",

"She's alive, she's just…" Dom breathed out,

"I'll be there soon".

John walked in to the hall. He'd seen the bodies covered by white sheets outside, one of them was Ads; dead in the name of the father... Just like all those other martyrs. The ultimate sacrifice.

Laurie was sat on the sofa, staring at the fire as Dom wrapped a bandage around her shoulder. Markus and Ed were stood near them, Markus had his leg up on the sofa as he leaned in, waving his hand in front of Laurie's face only for Dom to swat him away,

"Laurie" the men around her, around John, scattered, leaving them alone in the hall. John reached out to her as he got close, but she flinched away, he could just about understand the saddened, angry words that came next,

"If you'd just killed him. Ads would still be alive… If you weren't playing your stupid little games" it hurt to talk,

"Laurie, it is not that simple",

"It never is" she took a deep breath as she let her head hang, "Not with you; not with this place",

"Laurie" John sat down next to her, but she pushed up,

"Stop" there was a sob in her throat,

"Ads death was in the name of-" Laurie swung around, her hand out ready to slap him, but John caught it,

"Don't give me that shit. Just" she pulled her hand away from him and collapsed on to her knees. Her head hurt, the pain in her shoulder, it felt like she'd been shot forty times instead of one. She felt sorry for Tom...

At least she could say she'd tried though, right? She'd tried and all she'd got was nothing. What else was she supposed to do.

John knelt next to her and Laurie attempted to get up, she wanted to, but she stopped when he leant his forehead on hers. This fucking pull between them, this thing, she was doubting that it was even real anymore, that it was just something she wanted, hell, she had no fucking idea...

"I'm sorry" the words came out so smoothly, so sincerely, Laurie almost felt as if she choked for him,

"Are you, are you rea-" John shushed her, she swallowed back another sob, the anger. It was almost as if the wrath had given up as well. Laurie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she let herself lean on him, but then...

"Joseph thinks it's best if you go to the mountains" Laurie flinched, she didn't know what she expected him to say, but it wasn't that. It was nothing like that. Her fingers grabbed at his collar, at his face,

"No, please" she sounded so pitiful, but she just couldn't believe it. John closed his eyes, felt her hand trail down the side of his cheek, her fingers pull at his coats collar, he took a deep breath, taking it in before he opened his eyes again. Laurie so wanted him to say no,

"I think…" Laurie trailed her fingers down his neck, just like he'd done to her so many times before, she was sure she even saw him flinch, just a little, that small intake of breath, but it wasn't changing his mind - "I think he's right".

Laurie wasn't safe here. The deputy was on his last nerve, he couldn't stop it. Couldn't stop the path he was tumbling down. Could he… John put his head back, whatever happened, it would all be over soon. And Laurie, Laurie couldn't be there to see it.

"John, no" the desperation in her voice made her look back at her, and he knew what was about to happen, but just like before, he let it, savouring the feeling as she kissed him again. His hand came around the back of her head, his fingers eased themselves in to her hair. Laurie stopped, their noses touching for a moment before John kissed her back. He felt her heart do a thud inside of her chest as she grabbed for the back of his head, a mixture of shock, of sadness, of anger all coming out in one full swoop before he stopped, moving his mouth away, leaving her hanging again. John was silent for a moment, figuring out the words in his head before he looked at her again,

"This is why you have to go",

"John… please, I can…" Laurie let her hand fall from where it rested on his shoulder, the other still in his hair. She could stop it. All of it. For him.

"I know, but I can't" John said quietly. And he couldn't. Not anymore. He couldn't trust himself. It didn't matter if it was more than lust, or more than a need to be satisfied. He needed to give what he had of himself to the project, otherwise, he'd have nothing to give her once this was all done.

"John, you don't have to",

"I do",

"No, you don't, you don't need-",

"It won't be for long" he leant his forehead on hers again and he felt the whole weight of her lean on to him, as if she'd given up,

"If you go after him, you won't come back from it",

"Laurie, it's my purpose",

"To die" she pushed away from him, "No… You're wrong. Joseph is wrong", she knew it then, knew the path that Joseph wanted John to lead would end up with him dead, with them all dead, at the hands of the Deputy no less – whether Joseph knew it or not.

"Everything is happening the way it should",

"Really" Laurie asked. Everything was so fucked up. "I don't want you to die",

"I won't" even he didn't sound convinced, but he didn't sound scared either, which only made it hurt more,

"If you play the game, you will",

"No more games. I promise",

"John" she didn't believe him, she couldn't. Laurie took a deep breath and let hear head fall to his shoulder, "I love you John". He didn't move, didn't flinch, she almost thought he hadn't heard her – perhaps it was best he didn't, but then she felt his hand go through her hair, felt him move his head so he could say in to her ear,

"Now, now my little sheep. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves". Laurie almost wanted to laugh, but a sob escaped instead. John pulled her forehead to his again, shushing her quietly as he glanced over to the door, to Dom, "Laurie, you need to go", he felt her shake her head, the last ditch attempt to change his mind, "It won't be for long. We'll be back in the air before you know it" Laurie grabbed at his coat, stroked the small little aeroplanes.

Dom was stood behind her then, passing something to John. Laurie looked at the small pouch, even watched as he poured the white bit of powder in to his hands. Then, she watched as he blew it in to her face. She knew it was the bliss, knew by the little white flutters that surrounded her before she blacked out. Laurie said something inaudible, something she wouldn't even remember when she woke up and John picked her up in his arms as he stood up.

Dom took a few tentative steps towards them,

"She'll never forgive you if you die John" Dom said quietly, "Maybe this is-" John stopped him,

"If God wills it" Dom took a deep breath. He was gonna die anyway, might as well push it, right?

"No John" he stood in front of him, "You've heard that message as many times as I have, probably more" John looked over to the table where the answering machine sat, "Joseph said you need to let love-",

"Joseph told me to send her to the mountains" he didn't deny it, and that made Dom realise how far in to it he already was,

"Josephs wrong. He's wrong on this John". Dom expected something more than what he got, maybe the word traitor thrown around a little, but all John could say was -

"She'll be safe up there…".

But then, John also thought she was safer down here, but he couldn't hide what was about to happen. The things that were going to go down. She couldn't be there for any of them. Couldn't see what he was, what he could be. This way, he could leave her with some sort of memory that wasn't plagued by the collapse.

This was him not being selfish, this was his sacrifice and fuck, he hoped it was worth it. Hoped it was enough.

Maybe it was about time he started thinking about his next meeting with the Deputy. Maybe it was time he showed some mercy, just like Laurie did.

Or maybe he shouldn't doubt his brother and keep the promise he made to him all those years before...

* * *

 _Hi guys! Thanks for reading! Act Three has officially started and for the next chapter, maybe two, we're gonna stay with Johnny boy!_


	36. Atonement Pt 1

Chapter 36 – Atonement. Pt 1

John watched, his hand on his head as they drove away.

After a moment of staring at the empty driveway, John headed over to the hangar. It'd be emptier now, considering the Ryes plane was gone, but he just wanted to check on his airship, to run his hand along it one more time. In the days, maybe weeks to come, he couldn't see himself coming here much. His reasons to were dwindling by the hour.

As he pushed the door open; his airship, his pride and joy, it was still sat in the exact same place as it had been the night before. John reached over, ran his fingers on the Edens gate symbol painted on the side. He'd always considered bringing it to the bunker but, there was never anywhere to store it and, with almost every inch of it being filled with people nowadays, he knew he'd have to say goodbye to it before the collapse.

Maybe the day had already come and gone.

"John" Dom walked over with a radio in his hand, "Yosef just gave word on that Scriver. He's been taken hostage by some trailer park" even Dom sounded perplexed at the thought of it. It wasn't often that their men were taken hostage by the resistance – unless they wanted to be.

Matthew Scriver. He was one of the men on Jacobs infamous lists. Missing in action… That was the word. More like, traitorous little bitch that was going to burn when the collapse came around.

Still, John told Dom to send some men, to keep their heads low, to bring him back. Whether he wanted it or not.

It was then, as Dom left, telling him that he'd meet him back at the van, that John decided to sit in his airship, to stare at the open garage door.

Part of him wanted to fly over to the Ryes himself and blow the whole place up… then, he considered just leaving all of this behind him… and then he almost laughed at himself and jumped out…

To banish such thoughts from his mind, John considered their little run-away, Scriver. There was a lot of things John could do to him. Part of him almost thought that a stray bullet taking him out before his men got to him would be a mercy, especially in light of the things John would do to him – and then he wondered if he'd been spending too much time with Laurie to even consider giving a man like that any mercy…. And then he stopped, and wondered if he'd do the same to Laurie if she'd ran after what had happened to Ads.

John wasn't sure he would have stopped her.

But, Laurie was different.

Joseph had said them words as soon as John had begged him to let him keep her. He'd said she was meant for more. That she wasn't meant to be locked away underground.

That she was to be another lamb amongst wolves in the mountains. That the Deputy would see Johns weakness and she'd die because of it…

And that was when John had thought of a way to end this. Joseph wouldn't be happy with it. Not with the risks involved but, this was Johns home. His life, his sacrifice, and he wasn't about to leave Laurie amongst a load of wolves for any longer than necessary. Ads had been with Jacob a few weeks and he'd already started to turn in to a cold, ruthless killer; and he'd had no sense of anger or wrath in him when he'd came here.

If anything, he was just some lazy teenage boy who just needed a bit of direction.

John got in to his van, staring out at the ranch one last time. Laurie was meant to be with him right now, Ads too. They should have been making their way to the mountains together, to drop Ads off… That's what should have been happening.

"I think it's about time I make a visit to my lost souls" John said out loud. Dom, who had sat himself in the passenger seat wasn't sure if John was talking to him or himself…

* * *

The bunker, Johns bunker, his little piece of solitude, was getting busier by the day. Families from around the region had slowly been moving in, leaving their old lives behind them to prepare for the collapse. It was full of noise, full of good words and cheery voices, of smiles and nods. Much, much different to that day the Deputy had been there.

Despite the resistance, despite the people who didn't believe, there were people who did. People who came to John themselves, who asked him to save them - much like the Willis' had done. People that clung to this hope that they could be saved, that believed. And, it was days like that, people like that, that helped remind him why he did this, that not everyone was blind...

Even if, deeper underground, in the very depths of the bunker, there lay those who hadn't reached their atonement yet – or specifically, those that had that little more reluctance to reach it.

Like Hudson.

Now, that girl had some guts - John had almost seen them once but then, he'd decided to leave her lying there for a few hours instead, promises to bleed her dry and gut her like a pig if the Deputy didn't stop imprinted in to her head. He would have left her there for a lot longer had it not been for Joseph.

And, it had been Joseph who had carried her back to her room when she'd screamed and cried herself in to exhaustion.

So, even when they'd all sit there, on their knee's, begging his brother for mercy as he stood just outside the door, they didn't even realise the horrors John could inflict on them if he wasn't there. That was a mercy all in itself.

John looked through at Hudson, she was lying down on her bed, her legs tucked in to her chest. He could honestly think of so many things he could do to her, to make her pay for what the Deputy had done. So many things, but he didn't. Instead, he went in to the room next door.

It had the same concrete walls as did all of the bunker, but it had a desk in the middle which he sat at, putting his feet up on as he leaned back, putting his hands behind his head.

This was where he did most of his thinking. Whether it was about the deputy, about the sinners, about Laurie. This was where he sat, listening to the cries and the screams that got through the walls.

It was quiet today though. It was as if they knew the end was upon them. That their atonement was in sight.

John pulled over a file that was sat on his desk, photos and profiles of the five harbingers that had arrived in their compound that night.

The first was of Deputy Staci Pratt - who, had the honour of hanging out with Jacob up in the mountains. And, from what he'd seen, Jacob had beat him in to submission without laying a finger on him. He'd done a lot worse, at least people knew what John could do, it wasn't as if he hid it, but Jacob made killers, was making an army, the Deputy had his work cut out for him if he ever made it to one of Jacobs chairs.

Pratt was terrified, but he was a believer, in Josephs words, in Jacobs. A Judas in the making though - that's what Jacob had told him before he'd left with Ads.

And Faith, his darling sister had the pleasure of accommodating both the Whitehorse and Marshall Burke. Joseph had so much faith in her, much more than he should have, and that had only been proved by the disappearance of the Sheriff. Who was now to be found throwing himself around the prison and heading the resistance in Henbane. John had almost laughed when he'd heard it, but he'd contained himself.

But, she'd made up for it with the Marshal - he was so blissed the fuck out, she'd probably be able to make him do anything for her.

Then, he thought of his own harbinger, of how cold she was, of how much she'd fought him. He looked at her picture, of how serious she looked, but then he paired it with the Deputy, with the crooked grin and the lanky features, which he seemed to have grown in to as he'd ran around killing. He smiled, if Laurie was his weakness, Hudson was definitely his, and him hers.

John had seen it. He'd seen something as he'd listened to her muffle cries as they'd stood in his red room. The Deputy had never said many words to him, but that day, when he'd asked who wanted to go first, the word yes had left him so desperately, so willingly, John had almost thought that he'd got him, almost thought that he'd be able to tell Joseph that the harbingers had been stopped, that the seals would lay unbroken for another day…

But that's the thing with prophecies of God, once they start, stopping them is a whole other ball game.

And that was probably part of the reason why the Deputy threw himself down some stairs, escaped from his bonds and fought his way out.

But that wasn't about to stop John. And, if he couldn't make the Deputy say yes, he was sure a night with Jacob could. The Deputy thought John was terrible, they didn't realise the horrors his brother could bestow upon him and his friends…

But then, a thought hit John. If he didn't make the Deputy see, would death not be an easier way out… He would have failed, he would have failed Joseph and wasn't that what he feared most… not being enough for his brother. He wasn't afraid to die, death was inevitable. And… he'd give his life for the project. For Joseph. No matter how many people told him it wasn't worth it. No matter how many times he'd told himself it wasn't worth it. Joseph, this project, it had saved him from himself, saved him from that world that wanted him to be a man that he hated, to be someone who couldn't look in the mirror without making himself sick…

John sat up, taking a deep breath…

The worst thing was that, Josephs promise, it hadn't made that much of a difference. Not really. He was happier now, so much happier; this bunker made him feel the safest he'd even been ever but he couldn't just lock himself away in it anymore... And, over the years, he'd given so much to this project, listened to so many confessions, so many secrets, he didn't think he had anything left inside of himself of the person he wanted to be…

But then, there was Laurie... and she was broken and stupid and stubborn, but she was just like him, but she was so different, so merciful – too merciful – but without mercy, how could you achieve atonement with a sin like wrath… how could you achieve any sort of atonement...

And she'd said she'd loved him… and loads of woman had done that - his mother, his lovers, his brothers, but, that had felt real, not forced, not pretend, not in it for anything, but him. Joseph said he had to let more love in, that he had to or he'd die young, never to see the garden they created…

And that was why, when John heard that the deputy had helped the traitorous bastard run away, he finally decided on his plan.

He had to make the Deputy see, he had to show him…

So, in those days leading up to the ultimatum, John left Hudson to herself. She'd already said yes to him, he'd dug in enough for that, she just wasn't ready to atone yet, which was fine. He was sure the Deputy could help her with that.

Although, it was mostly because he spent his days sat in his office, waiting for word off his brother that never came. He knew they'd got there safely, but Jacob had sent Randy back almost immediately, not even giving him the chance to say his goodbyes properly.

Randy had said he'd given Laurie a letter from John before he'd left, but whether she'd read it, he didn't now. Whether Jacob had stripped her of all her things as soon as she'd walked through the gates of that veteran centre, he had no clue.

All he had was Josephs word that Jacob wasn't about to turn her in to one of his Chosens but, Jacob had never been one to listen, which made it all the harder to wait…

And then, the day came when the Deputy was in the midst of taking another outpost and, John bundled Hudson in to a van and they headed off to Falls End.

This was it... the day they'd reach the atonement they'd all been waiting for.

It took moments to take the town again. The Deputy would never understand the hold the Seeds had on this county, of how easy it was for them to get to him. John could have picked the Deputy up himself, could have taken him to his bunker and strapped him down, but Joseph wanted him to come willingly... And, John hoped, that with this, he could either prove that he was unworthy of salvation - so he could happily shoot him and be done with it - or the Deputy would surprise him, that he would say yes and make it all the easier for them...

Within an hour or so, the church was decorated, awaiting the Deputy's arrival, and Pastor Jerome, Mary-May and Nick were all stood in front of him. The Deputy none the wiser.

The rest of the people from Falls End were locked away in the bar, their booze and guns confiscated, and their cries silenced by the guns aimed at their heads. He wanted an audience, but not that many.

John raised the radio to his lips as he looked to Hudson who Dom had a hold of in the back of the church, a gag in her mouth to keep her quiet.

"Your actions have consequences Deputy. I've gathered all your friends here at Falls End to atone for your sins. Your welcome to join us. After all, if it weren't for you, they wouldn't be in this predicament... This is your last chance to say yes Deputy… Don't be late".

* * *

 _Hey, thanks for reading! Not much story development, just some little Johnny thoughts for you all. This also took a lot longer to get out than I hoped! Next part should be out before the end of the week! A nice little 'different' kind of atonement scene for you all to enjoy!_


	37. Atonement Pt 2

Chapter 37 – Atonement Pt. 2

"Your Deputy will be here soon" John said as he turned back to his four VIPs,

"He'll never say yes to you" Mary-may shrugged out of the hold his men had on her, only for him to grab her and pull her back in to position. John walked over to her, smiled,

"He's done it once before" he glanced over at Hudson. She looked rejuvenated – almost ready to beat his head in if she got the chance. John gestured to one of his men to tighten her gag even more. She had to be quiet for a little while longer. "He says yes and all this is over", John turned to Nick, "You too Nick",

"Fuck you" Nick said under small breaths.

Mr. Rye had been helping the Deputy take their outposts, bomb their silos but, as John had already told him, he wasn't angry, just disappointed. John sighed,

"Does your sin not will you to want more of the mercy my people gave to you" John pointed at the tattoo on his chest, the word GREED had been tattooed on to him long ago,

"What mercy" Mary-may spat, "You took his plane",

"I would have had his life" John said, raising a brow as Nick looked away, a flash of recognition in his eyes as he remembered the girl telling them to leave him be.

The way she'd looked at him, all sad, all… familiar? He quickly realised why. He'd seen a version of her before – just one – when the Deputy had gone to find Hurk. A woman. A British woman. She said she'd lost her whole family to the cult. Nick had just assumed they'd died.

In all his honesty, even though he hated them, if Kim had been insistent, if she'd wanted to join them, Nick would have too. He'd never be able to let her go on her own.

But, that girl – that woman's daughter – she had been with them, she'd been alive.

And she'd saved them from something that would have been far worse than a stolen plane.

"Now, when he arrives" John picked up the tattoo pen and twirled it around his fingers, "We'll get going with proceedings".

Merciful or not, this had to be done the right way or it didn't count.

The Deputy pushed open the door, his pistol in his hand ready for whatever was going to be thrown at him.

Except, he wasn't expecting the butt of Doms gun to smash him in the face.

John straddled the Deputy, the tattoo pen buzzing in his hand as he looked at his chest.

Wrath… that was his sin… so much hate… so much anger… so much violence…

Wrath was his sin…

Right?

Laurie's sin was Wrath… but… the two of them were nothing alike… The Deputy never showed any mercy…

After a moment more, John leaned over and started to carve the words on to his chest. He could feel him stirring, could feel him start to come around, could hear Hudson trying to call out in the background, the sounds of Nicks mumbling, Mary-May getting a quick word in every now and then before the barrel of a gun was tapped on the back of her head. The Pastor was the only one who'd stayed quiet, clutching his bible.

The Deputy woke up with a start and John pushed him down a little,

"Hold still… It's supposed to WRATH not RAT" John said.

The Deputy stopped struggling, this look of hate in his eyes as he tried to stare John out. John didn't even seem to notice, enjoying the experience,

"Sin must be exposed so it may be absolved. If we hide our sin, we hide ourselves. You will not hide any longer. Your true self will spill out on this floor for all to see" John told him as he finished off the lettering. He smiled and pushed up, walking backwards as he squared out his hands, a long breath of relief coming from him, "Perfect", he put his hands in the air, "If Mohammed won't come to the mountain. Bring the mountain to Mohammed" John swung around "Lets begin" he grabbed the book of Joseph that one of his men was holding before marching to the front of the church.

Dom pulled the Deputy up and pushed him towards the others. Hudson had been pulled more around the corner, out of sight and out of mind for the time being.

Putting his hand on Pastor Jeromes shoulder, John hit the bible he was holding out of his hands, replacing it with the book of Joseph instead. One of his men pushed Nick in front of him.

"I thought a friendly face might make your atonement easier" he looked back, "Maybe more than one" he looked back to Nick, almost putting his head on Pastor Jeromes shoulder, "Our devoted…" the Pastor almost rolled his eyes, only to have a pistol nudged against his arm "We are gathered here to bear witness" the Pastor stayed quiet and John took a step back, his hand still on Jeromes shoulder as a pistol was hit across his head, he fell to the floor. Mary-May went to grab at him

"You son of a bitch" his men held her back, the one who'd hit Jerome knocking her over the head too.

John laughed, putting his hands up,

"Lets try that again", the Pastor was pulled back up and John placed his hand back on his shoulder,

"Our devoted. We are gathered here to bear witness…", through gritted teeth, the Pastor repeated it, "To those willing to atone for their sins", John smiled, "Will you Nick Rye place your hand upon the word of Joseph" Nick interrupted the Pastors words,

"Oh. Fuck that. Nah. I ain't ever giving in to that psychopath" John sighed, pulled the Pastor back and stood in front of him, Nick almost flinched, then he went to stand up to him, only for Randy and another to hold him back.

John put his hands together. John wasn't sure he could anymore disappointed.

"There it is. Greed. Always thinking of yourself…"

Nick spat in Johns face.

Why did he have to do that.

Out of all the things.

John wiped it off, almost making sure it was real before he put his hands on Nicks shoulders.

He whispered.

"Your sin. Your greed. It killed the son of the very person who gave you mercy. Just think, your greed killed someone else's child, what if it did yours",

A low blow, but John had to have some living atonee's after this was done.

That got him though, he buckled, and Nick accepted it.

For such sinners, the only way to atone was to accept it, and then, he would straddle Nick and take a knife to his chest – to the words carved in to his flesh and, he would carve it off. He heard the others shout at him in the background, Nick cry at him, but this was it. The end. Nick had done it.

"That is the power of YES. The power to take away your sins" he had stapled the skin to the wall, a sign to show that Nick had finally joined them, that he'd been set free of those constraints, of the what he'd done. Joseph would be pleased.

John knelt down next to Nick and squeezed his shoulder, watching as Dom pressed over a bandage quickly, stemming the out pour of blood. "The power to set you free", Nick gurgled something at him, tears coming to his eyes as he put his head back. The pain was a little too much.

John walked back to the alter, a jump in his steps as he wiped his hands. He smiled at Hudson in the corner before turning back to them, pulling the Pastor to him and then pushing him towards the Deputy.

The Deputy looked about ready to kill him, but the gun to his head was still a little more persuasive.

"Now, for the main course" John said as he smiled, "As you all know, we are gathered here today because the Deputy has indulged a bit too much in the wrath he holds so dear" John nodded at the man who was stood around the corner with Hudson, he pulled her out, her eyes red from crying,

"Joey" the Deputy said as he pulled forward, only for Dom to put a gun on the back of his head, she shook her head quickly, urging him to stay put as she looked down.

"Just say yes Deputy… and you can be reunited with your little Princess".

And the word… it would have left the Deputy's mouth had the Pastor not taken the moment to turn away from him, a gun sat in the middle of the bible he'd swapped whilst he'd been on the floor, aiming it at John and piercing his ear with a well-aimed bullet.

He'd been aiming for his head, but as all hell broke loose, the Pastor felt himself get thrown to the floor as Nick kicked at his leg, helping him dodge the bullet that Dom had shot at him before grabbing the semi-unconscious John.

"We need to get him to his ranch" Dom had said, grabbing Hudson as they pushed through the small crowd. John couldn't lose his leverage. Not like this.

Both John and Hudson were gone before the ringing in the Deputy's ear subsided, Mary-May screaming at him to get in the truck.

The ride back to the ranch made Johns head hurt, the bumps in the road made him feel sick but, Dom threw some water in his face just as they drove up the drive. He came to a little more.

"I'm going to the bunker" John said as he grabbed on to Hudson and pulled her along with him, she stumbled a few times, spat some poisoned words at him, but she followed him. She knew the score. There was no point trying to fight that. If she ran, the sniper aimed at her head - that red dot - it'd peirce her skull and she'd be dead.

She considered death only to be better when John was finished strapping her in to the back seat of his plane, making sure the binds around her hands were still tight - and that the gag was still in position, just for good measure. He didn't need her distracting her anymore than the ache in his head was.

As he drove out, using the run way to take flight, he saw the glimpse of a red plane in the distance.

It seemed that Nick hadn't been up for the ride after all.

Heading towards his bunker, John swerved his plane this way and that, trying to push the Deputy of his tail. With Hudson sat in the back, the Deputy wasn't about to shoot at him, but the motion was starting to make him feel sick.

He almost had a thought of spinning the plane around, letting Hudson fall out and just carrying on towards the mountains.

Right now, his head was telling him that Laurie's unsaid offer was better than anything else.

Except, it wasn't. He couldn't think about that now. He just had to get back to the bunker. Make the Deputy follow him in.

He wasn't going to leave this time.

He wasn't going to get out until he'd atoned.

And by then, the collapse would have come and they'd be stuck inside anyway.

Except, he took a tight corner through some tree's and felt the tip of his wing hit off a trunk. Before he knew it, an engine was starting to fail, having got caught up in some high level shrubbery.

He had to land. He couldn't keep going.

Breaking, John felt his plane shake, felt himself go cold as he put his head down, trying not to be sick. How could a piece of missing cartilage hurt so much.

Then, he felt the ground, felt the wheels jump.

He just didn't see the tree in front of him.

The nose of the plane hit in to the tree and John cried out as the metal bent, trapping his leg as his plane spun around, finally finding it's resting place on the end of a forest, a field of crops in front of them.

He heard an explosion in the background, the pain subsiding in his leg as he gave a little squeal of excitement as he imagined the Deputy exploding in to a few hundred pieces.

Joseph couldn't blame him for that.

Except, the Deputy was landing just a few metres away from them, parachuting down in to the crop field. John pulled at his leg, but it was stuck tight. It was only then he could smell it.

The fuel. It had started leaking.

One little spark and they'd be history.

John put his head back and closed his eyes – his head was spinning… so much…

The Deputy was there now, he reached over for Hudson first, ignoring John.

"Are you" the Deputy pulled the gag from her mouth and cut the binds around her hands,

"I'm fine" she said quietly, she looked over at John.

Was he already dead?

"Come on" the Deputy said. He went to pull her towards him, but she pushed him back,

"We need his key" Hudson told him quietly, "There's still people trapped in that bunker". The Deputy looked over at John, using the wing to climb up, he saw the chain of they key. He grabbed at it, only for John to open his eyes and grab at his wrist,

"You think you're saving people" John was breathless, his stomach hurt, everything hurt, his leg - his leg was broken. "But you're not" he closed his eyes, smiling, he shook his head "They all think he's crazy, but he's not, he's not" he opened his eyes, "Did you ever stop to think what would happen if he was right… Did you ever…" John trailed off, grabbed at his stomach and leaned forward, letting the Deputy rip the key from his throat..

John could still hear the drip, drip, drip of the fuel… He was sure the Deputy could hear it too… He imagined that he could keep him talking, keep him there until a spark caused an almighty explosion. Taking them both in a fiery blaze that would make even Joseph proud. Except, John was too tired… He closed his eyes. He thought of Laurie. Of what he'd promised her.

He didn't think he could keep that promise. Maybe he was never meant too.

Maybe the mercy he wished the Deputy would show wasn't meant for him…

John had lied.

John had lied to her and she knew it as soon as Jacob threw her in to a cage. Like some sort of animal.

It hadn't been much better, before, but she hadn't been confined. Trapped.

And she didn't have a white wolf staring at her through the bars.

 _Thanks for reading guys! I'm sorry this took so long to get to you! I've not had any time or motivation lately, but I think I've found it again now!_


End file.
